Sterling Archer: There's not enough liquor and therapy in the world to undo that. Ugh, I touched my mother's dildo.

Cyril Figgis: Is Trexler buying ISIS just to get your mother to marry him?

Sterling Archer: No! Yes. Look, shut up.

Pam: That is some high priced milf.

Sterling Archer: Hey. Shut up, and think of a way to make Trexler not want my mother.

Pam: We could give her a milf-ectomy.

Sterling Archer: If you say milf one more time I will shoot you in your eyeballs.

Sterling Archer: Hey! You idiots want to hear my plan or not? Alright. So. Suggestions?

Cyril Figgis: About what?

Sterling Archer: What are we talking about? Stopping my mother from selling ISIS to ODIN.

Cheryl: You said you had a plan.

Sterling Archer: My plan is to crowdsource a plan.

Sterling Archer: Mother, you've been lying to me my entire life. Just for once, I want you to tell me the truth.

Malory Archer: Well, people in hell want ice water.