11x01 Show #2033
September 1, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave chats with Stephanie about a (supposed) incident that occurred over the weekend; Alan makes a suggestive offer to Secretary of Labor Elaine L. Chao; Al Franken promotes his new book.
11x02 Show #2034
September 2, 2003 11:35 pm
Kings of Leon perform their breakthrough hit, ""Molly's Chambers.""
11x03 Show #2035
September 3, 2003 11:35 pm
Biff searches for celebrities on the street; recently retired General Tommy Franks looks back at his illustrious military career.
11x04 Show #2036
September 4, 2003 11:35 pm
""CBS Mailbag,"" including Stephanie dressed as Batman, ""CBS Vice President of Late Night Programming Vinnie Favale,"" and ""George W. Bush"" (Gerard).
11x05 Show #2037
September 5, 2003 11:35 pm
Paul's ""Stump the Band"" losing streak continues; Whoopi Goldberg promotes her new sitcom.
11x06 Show #2038
September 8, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave welcomes 2003 U.S. Open Men's Tennis Champion Andy Roddick and actor Jack Black. Dave remembers the late Warren Zevon with the Show #1895 tape of Warren singing ""Mutineer"" on October 30, 2002; Paul and the band play Warren Zevon bumper music throughout the show.
11x07 Show #2039
September 9, 2003 11:35 pm
Rick Derringer sits in with the band; a woman from Staten Island participates in ""May We See Your Digital Photos, Please?""; Chris Elliott comments on current events.
11x08 Show #2040
September 10, 2003 11:35 pm
An opera singer performs in the hallway; the recently deceased Charles Bronson declares his candidacy for Governor of California; Dave and Sharon Stone make out.
11x09 Show #2041
September 11, 2003 11:35 pm
Steph/Monty dresses up as Don Mattingly for CBS Mailbag; she closes the segment by playing catch with Dave.
11x10 Show #2042
September 12, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave has a major announcement to make; Cuba Gooding, Jr. promotes The Fighting Temptations; Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel sing ""America"" and ""The Boxer.""
11x11 Show #2043
September 22, 2003 11:35 pm
Miss America 2004 Ericka Dunlap presents the Top Ten List; Dave tells the story of his weekend encounter with a bear at his house in Montana; Dr. Phil gives Dave some parenting tips.
11x12 Show #2044
September 23, 2003 11:35 pm
Ben Stiller talks about his new movie, Duplex; Elvis Costello performs a song from his new CD, North.
11x13 Show #2045
September 24, 2003 11:35 pm
Cold opening: The Rock shows Lynne Cheney how to apply a ""chicken wing"" to Paul; New York Giants kicker Matt Bryant attempts rooftop field goals across 53rd Street.
11x14 Show #2046
September 25, 2003 11:35 pm
11x15 Show #2047
September 26, 2003 11:35 pm
Stephanie is Peter Pan for ""CBS Mailbag;"" ""Joey Pants"" promotes ""The Handler;"" Kevin Nealon; Outkast sings ""Hey Ya.""
11x16 Show #2048
September 29, 2003 11:35 pm
Paul asks ""Survivor 7"" castaway Ryan ""Skinny"" Shoulders (who is wearing a Rage Against The Machine t-shirt) if he digs Audioslave; Denzel Washington promotes Out of Time; The New York Philharmonic performs ""The Marriage of Figaro"" atop the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theatre building.
11x17 Show #2049
September 30, 2003 11:35 pm
It's time for ""How Many Guys in Gorilla Suits Can Fit Into a Eyeglass Store?"" Quote Dave: ""I was going to buy a pair of eyeglasses, but the optical store was full of gorillas.""
11x18 Show #2050
October 1, 2003 11:35 pm
The latest role call reveals that Michele O'Callaghan's five-month-old daughter (named ""Zoogie"") picks Dave's ties; Dave and Paul are dumbfounded by a pitching machine in a new game called ""What Is It?""; Tim Robbins plugs ""Mystic River""; Pat Farmer destroys the pitching machine.
11x19 Show #2051
October 2, 2003 11:35 pm
Steph/Monty dresses as a letter carrier for ""Know Your Current Events;"" R.E.M. performs ""Bad Day.""
11x20 Show #2052
October 3, 2003 11:35 pm
During CBS Mailbag, Alan dresses up as Saddam Hussein for his new hidden-camera show ""Goof'd!"" and gets beat up by several people on the street. Later, Robin Williams comments on the Tour de France.
11x21 Show #2053
October 6, 2003 11:35 pm
Jessica Simpson mentions that she was on Oprah recently, much to Dave's chagrin; fill-in bandleader Todd Rundgren sings ""Hello It's Me;"" Pat Farmer drops 20,000 ping-pong balls from the roof.
11x22 Show #2054
October 7, 2003 11:35 pm
11x23 Show #2055
October 8, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave calls ousted California governor Gray Davis ""a wanker;"" Gary Coleman presents the Top Ten via satellite, then falls asleep; Tom Dressen talks baseball.
11x24 Show #2056
October 9, 2003 11:35 pm
A man from Charlotte, North Carolina plays ""Know Your 2003 Boston Red Sox;"" ten Hooters Girls present the Top Ten; George Clooney plugs Intolerable Cruelty.
11x25 Show #2057
October 10, 2003 11:35 pm
During CBS Mailbag, Alan has an awkward reunion with the first girl that ever kissed him, and ""Ah-nuld"" (Gerard) has an enlightened conversation with Dave. Later, Charlie Sheen promotes ""Two and a Half Men.""
11x26 Show #2058
October 13, 2003 11:35 pm
Pat Farmer and an army of stagehands throws a special form of confetti off the roof of the theater; Steph/Monty tells ""Survivor 7"" loser Burton Roberts an alleged story about a woodpecker nipping her in the butt last weekend; Halle Berry brags that Robert Downey Jr. once broke her arm.
11x27 Show #2059
October 14, 2003 11:35 pm
For the first time in several years, famed saxophonist David Sanborn sits in with the band; Dave announces he's going to rehab, then demands to have some Dunkin' Donuts; John Cusack promotes Runaway Jury; 2003 Indy Car champion Scott Dixon.
11x28 Show #2060
October 15, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave congratulates Conan O'Brien on his newborn daughter; ten weightlifters present the Top Ten; noted physics professor Brian Greene tries to explain the mysteries of the universe.
11x29 Show #2061
October 16, 2003 11:35 pm
Ten US Soldiers in Iraq present the Top Ten via satellite; Dustin Hoffman plugs ""The Runaway Jury,"" British chef Jamie Oliver cooks some scallops.
11x30 Show #2062
October 17, 2003 11:35 pm
For CBS Mailbag, Steph/Monty dresses up as a soccer player and kicks balls (poorly) into the audience. Later, Radiohead performs ""2+2=5.""
11x31 Show #2063
October 27, 2003 11:35 pm
Paul sneezes during the monologue; the band area is remodeled; Biff makes his annual report from the World Series; a 1,030-pound pumpkin explodes (via SFX) outside.
11x32 Show #2064
October 28, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave announces that he's been transferred to Chesterton, Indiana; on tonight's ""Meet the Governor,"" a young Ah-nuld ogles an exotic dancer; Courtney Cox Arquette almost sings TLC's ""Waterfalls;"" after a one-day rain delay, a real pumpkin explodes.
11x33 Show #2065
October 29, 2003 11:35 pm
Steph/Monty dresses up as an elf on a rare Wednesday CBS Mailbag; during Mailbag, Rupert takes part in his yearly tradition of watching the coleslaw change colors; Dave is so fascinated by Canadian ""sexpert"" Sue Johanson that he interviews her twice.
11x34 Show #2066
October 30, 2003 11:35 pm
The Slapinski Brothers, world-class jugglers, interrupt the monologue; Dave points out that Rupert was on last night's episode of ""Ed""; Dante Hall of the Kansas City Chiefs catches a football on 53rd Street.
11x35 Show #2067
October 31, 2003 11:35 pm
Amongst this year's ""New Halloween Costumes"": a George Foreman grill, the button on the remote control that you never use, and the ""Queer Eye"" fab five. Also, Rosie Perez delivers Paul's cape for his weekly, blues-induced breakdown.
11x36 Show #GH25
November 3, 2003 11:35 pm
The 2003 NYC Marathon winners make their annual run through the studio; eliminated ""Survivor 7"" hopefuls Shawn Cohen (who was voted out) and Osten Taylor (the guy who quit the game) drop by Rupert's; Ashley Judd reminisces with Paul; comedian/conspiracy-theorist Richard ""John Munch"" Belzer visits; Sarah McLachlan performs solo at the piano; Alan moos like a cow.
11x37 Show #2068
November 4, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave gives a recap of the events leading up to -- and including -- the birth yesterday of son Harry Joseph Letterman; ""Indian Larry"" performs motorcycle stunts on 53rd Street; Regis continues his string of appearances tied to memorable occasions; Amy Brennaman chats about the 100th episode of ""Judging Amy.""
11x38 Show #2069
November 5, 2003 11:35 pm
During Mailbag, Steph/Monty dresses up a police officer, while Dave tries to make some sense out of ""Liza Minnelli"" (Gerard in fishnet stockings). Later, it is revealed that the winner of the ""Guess the Name of Dave's Baby Contest"" is Dave himself.
11x39 Show #2070
November 6, 2003 11:35 pm
Amongst the ""New Catalogs"": Harry & David Pre-Owned Fruit, Victoria's Secret for Monkeys, and special edition of California Style in which all the models have been groped by Arnold Schwarzenegger; Howard Stern mentions to Dave that the impersonator that regularly calls into his show is a big fan and meant no harm; Iggy Pop featuring Sum 41 perform ""Little Know It All.""
11x40 Show #2071
November 7, 2003 11:35 pm
An elf named Perry helps out during ""Know Your Current Events""; Bert and Ernie (of ""Sesame Street"" fame) diss Dave; Lauren Graham talks about a recent parking ticket.
11x41 Show #2072
November 10, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave announces that Oprah gave him a gift on behalf of the new baby, only to realize that it was delivered by somebody with the same name; throughout the night, weightlifter Willie Wessels demonstrates super-human feats out on 53rd Street; Norm McDonald plugs ""A Minute with Stan Hooper.""
11x42 Show #2073
November 11, 2003 11:35 pm
Cold Opening: Dave compliments Madonna's latest children's book: ""I like the picture of the monkey."" Also, Chris Elliott introduces Dave's son Harry, who says his first words: ""S***.""
11x43 Show #2074
November 12, 2003 11:35 pm
11x44 Show #2075
November 13, 2003 11:35 pm
A sheep herder walks into the theater with his flock along side him; Pink sings ""Trouble.""
11x45 Show #2076
November 14, 2003 11:35 pm
During ""Know Your Current Events,"" a visiting audience member from Liverpool, England is quizzed on his knowledge of Prince Charles. Later, potential Minnesota gubernatorial candidate Al Franken delivers Paul's cape.
11x46 Show #2077
November 17, 2003 11:35 pm
As part of his legendary ""fashion show"" gag, Dave models the lining of his sportcoat; Dave tells a story involving a mother and two sons trying to hitch a taxi this morning; a timeline of Ah-nuld's first day in office as Governor of California is nothing more than a recap of all those ""Meet the Governor"" clips.
11x47 Show #2078
November 18, 2003 11:35 pm
An arm-wresting challenge is held at Hello Deli; child actress Dakota Fanning plugs ""The Cat in the Hat.""
11x48 Show #2079
November 19, 2003 11:35 pm
11x49 Show #2080
November 20, 2003 11:35 pm
Ashrita ""Mr. Versatility"" Furman balances beer glasses on his chin on 53rd St.; eleven Playboy Playmates present the Top Ten; Dave grills General Wesley Clark about his dismissal from the Army.
11x50 Show #2081
November 21, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave and Paul play ""Potatoes or Gavin MacLeod?""; Dave openly wishes that Paris Hilton had not cancelled her appearance on the show next week; Robert Downey Jr. makes his first appearance on the show since early 1996; 16-year-old singer-songwriter Joss Stone performs.
11x51 Show #2082
November 24, 2003 11:35 pm
Biff spends a day on the campaign trail with Howard Dean; Gerard stands in for unavailable Survivor loser Rupert Boneham; Paul Newman discusses all things auto racing; Clay Aiken sings ""Invisible"" from his CD Measure Of A Man.
11x52 Show #2083
November 25, 2003 11:35 pm
Cold Opening: Tom Ridge finks on Michael Jackson. Also, Dave has yet another rant about Paris Hilton, claiming that she won't be on because a ""no-good weasel, beady-eyed putz publicist"" told her not to appear. ""He's lower than pond scum,"" Dave observes, then later he calls him a nitwit and a knuckle-dragging neanderthal.
11x53 Show #2084
November 26, 2003 11:35 pm
During Mailbag, Harold Larkin tries a new product, then, in honor of Thanksgiving, starts bleeding gravy; Mike Myers plugs The Cat in the Hat.
11x54 Show #2085
November 27, 2003 11:35 pm
Dorothy (live via satellite) brags about her five grandkids, ranging between 32 years and one month in age, and again stumps Dave with her apple and pecan Thanksgiving pies; Bill Delace presents ""Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From a Guy Dressed as a Pilgrim;"" Tom Arnold plugs his book, ""How I Lost Five Pounds In Six Years.""
11x55 Show #2086
November 28, 2003 11:35 pm
Felecia makes fun of Donny Osmond during ""Stump The Band;"" former ""Dark Angel"" star Jessica Alba plugs Honey; The Rapture performs ""House of Jealous Lovers.""
11x56 Show #2087
December 8, 2003 11:35 pm
Rupert is almost omnipresent in the first half of the show, presenting footage of his trip to the Meadowlands for last week's Jets-Titans game, then chats with ousted Survivor Christa Hastie. Also, Matt Damon tells a story about working with Cher in his new movie, Stuck On You.
11x57 Show #2088
December 9, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave mentions that his son likes to suck his nose; Biff & staff decorate taxi cabs for Christmas; Danny DeVito plugs Big Fish.
11x58 Show #2089
December 10, 2003 11:35 pm
During Mailbag, the voices in Alan's head result in the horrific demise of his precious ceramic figure collection. Also, upon reading an article in Time about Oprah's refusal to have Dave on her show, he suggests a ""Super Bowl of Love"" with Dr. Phil reconciling the talk show hosts.
11x59 Show #2090
December 11, 2003 11:35 pm
11x60 Show #2091
December 12, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave announces that he's been invited to appear on Oprah (at long, long last), while Julia Roberts interrogates Dave for his inability to marry the mother of his child.
11x61 Show #2092
December 15, 2003 11:35 pm
It's a Late Show mini-reunion as former Broadway merchants Mujibur, Sirajul, and Joe G. join Rupert in decorating the Late Show Christmas Tree. Also, Dave comments on Saddam's capture, then shows Liv Tyler her Lord of the Rings action figure.
11x62 Show #2093
December 16, 2003 11:35 pm
11x63 Show #2094
December 17, 2003 11:35 pm
During Mailbag, Dave tries to make sense out of ""Saddam Hussein"" (Gerard), while a reindeer takes a dump onstage. Also, Neve Campbell promotes the upcoming Robert Altman film ""The Company,"" while Wellwater Conspiracy performs ""Wimple Witch.""
11x64 Show #2095
December 18, 2003 11:35 pm
11x65 Show #2096
December 19, 2003 11:35 pm
During ""Audience Show & Tell,"" a man recites the names of all 50 states in alphabetical order in just fifteen seconds. Also, Golden Globe nominee Charlize Theron promotes ""Monster.""
11x66 Show #2097
December 22, 2003 11:35 pm
Dave mentions some strange advice his mother gave him about Harry: ""Well, David, I think it would be nice if one day he joined a gang."" Also, ""The Kalter Brothers"" sing ""The Little Drummer Boy"" without incident, and Steve Martin talks about the burden of being beautiful.
11x67 Show #2098
December 23, 2003 11:35 pm
It's the annual ""Holiday Night"" on the Late Show: Paul does his impersonation of Cher singing ""O Holy Night;"" Jay Thomas successfully dethrones the objects on top of the Late Show Christmas Tree; for the nineteenth year in a row, Darlene Love (featuring Bette Sussman and a 26-piece orchestra) performs ""Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home).""
11x68 Show #2099
January 5, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave brings out Biff and thanks him, Paul, the USO and a variety of soldiers for making the Christmas Eve trip to Baghdad possible; in the premiere edition of ""Will It Explode?"" Pat Farmer throws 18 industrial-size cans of chocolate and butterscotch pudding off the roof; Parents magazine calls Dave ""America's Most Moronic Father.""
11x69 Show #2100
January 6, 2004 11:35 pm
11x70 Show #2101
January 7, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave celebrate's Steph/Monty's birthday with a cake that reads ""Happy Birthday Tammi!"" Also, recent baseball Hall of Fame inductees Paul Molitor and Dennis Eckersley present the Top Ten.
11x71 Show #2102
January 8, 2004 11:35 pm
During his interview with Nathan Lane, Dave suggests to Paul that they should perform together in the musical ""The Producers."" Also, Ruben Stoddard performs ""Sorry 2004.""
11x72 Show #2103
January 9, 2004 11:35 pm
It's time for another round of ""Stump the Band,"" and as usual Paul does his Carnac schtick; ten interns present the Top Ten; Billy Bob Thornton describes his short-lived tenure as the assistant manager of a pizza parlor; The Darkness performs ""I Believe In a Thing Called Love.""
11x73 Show #2104
January 12, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave goes on a rant about Jay Leno's appearance on CBS' ""People's Choice Awards"" home site, while Dick Gephardt presents the Top Ten.
11x74 Show #2105
January 13, 2004 11:35 pm
11x75 Show #2106
January 14, 2004 11:35 pm
Mailbag: Alan gets clobbered by an angry Irishman, George Clarke takes a shower with former basketball star Manute Bol, and Steph/Monty gives heart surgery fun facts. Also, Howie Day performs ""She Says.""
11x76 Show #2107
January 15, 2004 11:35 pm
Throughout the night, foreigners tell jokes; Dave and Paul play a new game called ""Mars or Nevada?"" then come to agree that it's utterly stupid; Al Roker presents the Top Ten; Carmen Electra promotes her new striptease-workout video.
11x77 Show #2108
January 16, 2004 11:35 pm
During ""Audience Show & Tell,"" a woman from Texas shows off photos of her Chinese hairless in various costumes; Dave reads a fan letter from someone whose life depends upon ""Will It Float?""; Christina Aguilera sings ""Walk Away.""
11x78 Show #2109
January 19, 2004 11:35 pm
Stephanie demonstrates her ex-boyfriend's lackluster dancing abilities once more; John McEnroe does the Top Ten and promotes his new talk show at the same time; Gavin MacLeod makes a guest appearance in ""Potatoes or Gavin MacLeod?""; by the end of the show, Steph, Gavin, and John are dancing together.
11x79 Show #2110
January 20, 2004 11:35 pm
Singer-songwriter John Mayer sits in; Dave shows footage of Howard Dean's head exploding; in the latest edition of ""Pat Farmer's Gaffe Alert,"" our favorite film-loving stagehand points out that the entire cast of Casablanca is now dead.
11x80 Show #2111
January 21, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave does a really bad Howard Dean impression; during Mailbag, Rupert puts a ruined slice of turkey in the soup of the day; Dave chats with a mountain climber with an epic story of survival.
11x81 Show #2112
January 22, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave shows several photos that answer the question ""What's the Deal with Donald Trump's Hair?;"" Howard Dean presents the Top Ten live via satellite from New Hampshire.
11x82 Show #2113
January 23, 2004 11:35 pm
Al Franken comments on his trip to Iraq; Phantom Planet performs ""Big Brat.""
11x83 Show #2114
February 2, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave mentions the passing of influential late night great Jack Paar; Biff introduces his annual ""Biff at the Super Bowl"" segment; Bill DeLace does another Top Ten remote, this time from a nearby Starbucks.
11x84 Show #2115
February 3, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave announces that after 22 years on the wagon, he would like to start drinking again, but only during the show. Later, he wishes Oprah a belated happy 50th birthday.
11x85 Show #2116
February 4, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave mentions that water is not running in the building for the time being; during Mailbag, Pat Farmer tortures a stagehand with a George Foreman Grill; Dave shows a (bogus) clip of Barbara Walters topless.
11x86 Show #2117
February 6, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave recaps last night's accident on 53rd Street: snowboarder Tara Dakides slid off a landing platform and fell to the pavement. She was taken to New York's Bellevue Hospital, and was treated for injuries. The audience was informed of the incident, and taping for the evening's two shows was cancelled.
11x87 Show #2118
February 9, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave chats with snowboarder Tara Dakides, whose accident during a demonstration on 53rd Street cancelled the taping of last Thursday's episode. Also, in honor of the 40th Anniversary of Beatlemania, Paul does an Ed Sullivan impression, while Dave shows the entire clip of the Fab Four performing for the first time in this very theater.
11x88 Show #2119
February 10, 2004 11:35 pm
Rupert selects a 53rd Street Loser to play ""What Did Merv Have For Lunch;"" Drew Barrymore and Jack Hanna remain clothed during their segments.
11x89 Show #2120
February 11, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave tries out a new catchphrase: ""Ba da boom, ba da bing."" Also, Steph/Monty dresses up a 1980s-era Olympic hockey player, and Dave goes back to calling her ""Smitty.""
11x90 Show #2121
February 12, 2004 11:35 pm
Throughout the night, the CBS Orchestra plays songs by Air Supply; Dave mentions that the continent of Australia has demanded to see that clip of the monkey washing a cat; Bill Murray gets a ""Dave"" tattoo on his arm.
11x91 Show #2122
February 13, 2004 11:35 pm
This week's ""Will It Float?"" item is a box of chocolates; Alec Baldwin and Sofia Coppola visit; Kylie Minogue performs ""Red Blooded Women.""
11x92 Show #2123
February 16, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave makes fun of a new commercial, and the clip is repeated throughout the broadcast; during ""Stupid Human Tricks,"" a man stuffs his mouth with a tennis ball; Ray Romano promotes Welcome to Mooseport.
11x93 Show #2124
February 17, 2004 11:35 pm
Leon Russell sits in; Dave is still fascinated by a quote from last night's film trailer (""If you need help, here I am"") and repeats it several times throughout the show; Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Kelly Ripa both attempt parallel parking.
11x94 Show #2125
February 18, 2004 11:35 pm
Mailbag: Steph/Monty/Smitty is dressed up as Dale Earnhardt, Jr., while ""Senator John Kerry"" (Gerard) brags about the perks of being married to the heir of a ketchup empire. Also, a Mongolian throat chanter performs on ""Is This Anything?"" but nobody seems all that impressed.
11x95 Show #2126
February 19, 2004 11:35 pm
Noted hypothermia expert Dr. Gordon Geisbrecht jumps into a tank of icewater to demonstrate its effects; the US Senate announces that when referring to George W. Bush, ""president"" will be used in quotation marks; Dave shows the audience a new photo of little Harry.
11x96 Show #2127
February 20, 2004 11:35 pm
During ""Audience Show & Tell,"" Dave meets a former White House intern; George Clarke fills in for Kiva ""Grinder Girl"" Kahl during ""Will It Float?""; comedian Brian Regan comments on psychics.
11x97 Show #2128
February 23, 2004 11:35 pm
Demolition demo (shut down by Hizzoner Bloomberg's office) on 53rd St. turns into Pat Farmer dropping stuff off the roof; Survivor loser Rob Cesternino drops by Rupert's; Jeff Goldblum visits; Norah Jones sings ""What Am I To You?""
11x98 Show #2129
February 24, 2004 11:35 pm
It's ""Steve and Edie"" night on the Late Show: Edie Falco promotes the upcoming fifth season of ""The Sopranos;"" Dave meets Steven Bailey of ""My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé"" fame; Edie Brickell (making her first LS appearance in nearly 10 years)promotes her latest solo album.
11x99 Show #2130
February 25, 2004 11:35 pm
Stephanie/Monty/Smitty is in dentist garb (and Dave-ordered model posture) for ""CBS Mailbag;"" Diane Sawyer gushes over Oprah Winfrey's 50th birthday party; Benjamin McKenzie (""The O.C."") visits.
11x100 Show #2131
February 26, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave shows an (bogus) political ad in which Dennis Kucinich announces he's marrying Lorenzo Lamas; in an all-dog edition of ""Stupid Pet Tricks,"" one canine says hello to Dave; Ernest Borgnine presents the Top Ten.
11x101 Show #2132
February 27, 2004 11:35 pm
On ""Audience Show & Tell,"" Dave make his contribution to an audience member's collection of gum chewed by celebrities; ""Will It Float?"" sinks a tray of billiard balls; Bill Cosby does stand-up; Lou Reed capes; Toby Lightman sings.
11x102 Show #2133
March 1, 2004 11:35 pm
The studio audience votes Dave off the show, so Gaines orders Paul to take over during ""Survivor Loser."" When Dave reappears during Paul's interview with Richard Hatch, Paul goes to a commercial. Later, a miffed (and naked) Hatch walks into the backdrop during Anne Heche's visit.
11x103 Show #2134
March 2, 2004 11:35 pm
National Turkey Calling champs are trotted out; Ryan Seacrest presents the ""Top Ten Catch Phrases Ryan Seacrest Rejected Before 'Seacrest Out!'"" (via satellite); Julia Stiles visits; Jessica Simpson sings.
11x104 Show #2135
March 3, 2004 11:35 pm
During Mailbag, Biff goes to bed with a guy named Cameron Diaz; George Clarke fills in for Anna Jack on hula hoop; Alan admits to a $1000-a-week addiction to Vicodin; Robert Randolph and the Family Band brings the house down with ""Going In The Right Direction.""
11x105 Show #2136
March 4, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave announces that he's on steroids, then shows before-and-after photos to prove his point; Biff goes on a cruise; the outside cam finds Bill Murray lying in the gutter, a desperate and broken man; ""Oprah"" (Pat Farmer) interviews ""Beyonce"" (Kenny Sheehan).
11x106 Show #2137
March 5, 2004 11:35 pm
Twelve-year-old piano prodigy Chloe Pang plays Bach's ""Goldberg Variations."" Dave is almost brought to tears by the performance, declaring it one of the show's best.
11x107 Show #2138
March 15, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave points out that for the nineteenth year in a row, the WMDB/CBS Orchestra will be the house band for the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies; Dave and Les Moonves chat via telephone; Jim Carrey and Dave attempt a ""talk show without talk"" that only lasts about 47 seconds.
11x108 Show #2139
March 16, 2004 11:35 pm
After two weeks of plugging their product, Dave shows a single Shick Quattro razor the company sent, and reads a very peculiar letter to Gaines from someone in the company; the Top Ten is now sponsored by myheadhurts.com; Canadian satirist Bruce McCall promotes his new book; The Vines perform ""Ride.""
11x109 Show #2140
March 17, 2004 11:35 pm
11x110 Show #2141
March 22, 2004 11:35 pm
Cold opening: Tom Hanks gives Harry Letterman an Oscar, and Dave accepts it on his behalf. Later, the Ladykillers star gives the absentee infant a $50 savings bond, while Congressman Dennis Kucinich presents the Top Ten.
11x111 Show #2142
March 23, 2004 11:35 pm
All-American basketball player Andre Barrett throws various items off the roof, aiming towards a basketball hoop at ground level, the misses the basket on all six chances. Also, Al Franken promotes his upcoming liberal-friendly radio network.
11x112 Show #2143
March 24, 2004 11:35 pm
Mailbag: George Clarke's attempt at surgically losing weight is thwarted when some guy steals his clothes. Also, Blondie performs ""Good Boys.""
11x113 Show #2144
March 29, 2004 11:35 pm
Throughout the night, Columbia University professor and 1999 Nobel laureate in economics Dr. Robert Mundell tells lame redneck jokes; Bill DeLace presents another hidden-camera remote Top Ten; Janet Jackson is grilled at length by Dave on her ""wardrobe malfunction"" at this year's Super Bowl.
11x114 Show #2145
March 30, 2004 11:35 pm
After weeks of shilling their product, Dave finally receives a thousand Schick Quattro razors in the mail, then promises to give them out to the audience. Unfortunatly, Gaines and Laurie Diamond tell Dave that the staff has already taken their fair share of the razors. Later in the show, he compensates by having Rupert, the Hi-Ho girls, and a British guy giving candy and razors to the audience.
11x115 Show #2146
March 31, 2004 11:35 pm
11x116 Show #2147
April 1, 2004 11:35 pm
A minor controversy that started earlier in the week is resolved by a very apologetic CNN anchorwoman (see recap). Also, Dave congratulates Craig Kilborn on five years at CBS.
11x117 Show #2148
April 2, 2004 11:35 pm
Audience Show & Tell: a husband and wife tandem demonstrates a neat trick involving a yo-yo and a shiny quarter. Also, Dave chats with Tyler Crotty, the tired pre-teen who has been at the center of a minor controversy on the Late Show for the last week. For appearing on the show, Dave gives Tyler several cans of Red Bull. Also, very tall man(Paul Olkowski) gives Dave a one arm hug before he shows a ""glory day"" highlight from 12 years ago when he sank a full-court shot on ESPN.
11x118 Show #2149
April 6, 2004 11:35 pm
The Top Ten list is now sponsored by rake-attack.com, while Bruce Willis shows off his new, stealthy, Trump-style hairpiece.
11x119 Show #2150
April 7, 2004 11:35 pm
11x120 Show #2151
April 12, 2004 11:35 pm
Alan brings a video of celebrity well-wishers for Dave's 57th birthday (just a tape of a fleeing Regis); it's ""More With Les,"" as Dave phones up CBS-TV head honcho Les Moonves; Billy Crystal plugs his new children's book; ""A-Rod"" chats, then jacks a few balls with Dave on 53rd Street.
11x121 Show #2152
April 13, 2004 11:35 pm
Biff makes his annual trip to Spring Training, where he for the second year in a row, he and Hideki Matsui perform Abbott & Costello's ""Who's on First?"" routine; Jerry turns Dave upside down to preview Kai Leclerc's gravity-defying juggling act; ""Dwight the Troubled Teen"" makes another visit to Alan's booth.
11x122 Show #2153
April 14, 2004 11:35 pm
Mailbag: After noticing that a letter-writer misspelled his name, Paul comes with a homonym for his moniker, resulting in a rival homonym from Biff. Also, Dave kisses a donkey, while Ruben Stoddard presents the Top Ten.
11x123 Show #2154
April 15, 2004 11:35 pm
In the ""season finale"" of ""Trump or Monkey?,"" a dancer from the musical Hairspray wins an alleged trip to Acapulco; David Duchovny discusses his son's linguistic skills; after getting bumped twice in the last year, NYC sportscaster Chris ""Mad Dog"" Russo is finally grilled by Dave.
11x124 Show #2155
April 16, 2004 11:35 pm
Phil Mickelson brags about his victory at the 2004 Masters; James Lipton delivers Paul's cape.
11x125 Show #2156
April 26, 2004 11:35 pm
al-Qaeda takes responsibility for Derek Jeter's batting slump; Dave resurrects his two favorite Cold Mountain sound clips; stuntman ""Magic Brian"" eats a lightbulb.
11x126 Show #2157
April 27, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave declares that the new mission statement for the Late Show will be ""We are here for you. We'll make things better."" Also, Rupert hosts the debut edition of ""Stop the Pump,"" a game involving pumping fuel at a gas station on the corner of 44th and 10th in Manhattan.
11x127 Show #2158
April 28, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave announces that he's going to be ""more dynamic,"" resulting in spasm-like movements by him and Paul; to accompany Steph/Monty/Smitty dressing as Amelia Earhart for Mailbag, Dave repeatedly orders to hear airplane SFX inbetween letters; Julianne Moore tells Dave what it's like to kiss Barbara Walters.
11x128 Show #2159
April 29, 2004 11:35 pm
The theater audience is given the option of either having Tom Hanks drop by or watch stock footage of a camel on skis. Dave claims the camel tape won. Also, Dave thinks he's addicted to Bexstra, claiming ""the inside of me itches.""
11x129 Show #2160
April 30, 2004 11:35 pm
An audience member turns her hand 360 degrees; Hillary Clinton discusses her husband's book and the war in Iraq; The Roots perform ""Don't Say Nuthin'.""
11x130 Show #2161
May 3, 2004 11:35 pm
11x131 Show #2162
May 4, 2004 11:35 pm
Nobel Economics Prize winner Robert Mundell tells ""Yo Mama"" jokes; a woman off the street pretends to be in an earthquake with Rupert; Survivor All-Stars loser Shii-Ann Huang presents the Top Ten.
11x132 Show #2163
May 5, 2004 11:35 pm
11x133 Show #2164
May 6, 2004 11:35 pm
11x134 Show #2165
May 7, 2004 11:35 pm
Ten celebrity moms (including Dorothy and Gerard as ""Betty Lou Roberts"") present the Top Ten, and later the faux mother of Julia Roberts delivers Paul's cape.
11x135 Show #2166
May 10, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave announces that motorcyclist ""Johnny McCoy"" will be performing a very dangerous and complicated stunt out on 53rd Street, but it ends up getting cancelled; Dave makes Jerry play the airplane SFX again; it turns out Johnny McCoy can't even ride a motorcycle; Dave, Regis, and Paul weigh themselves.
11x136 Show #2167
May 11, 2004 11:35 pm
11x137 Show #2168
May 12, 2004 11:35 pm
11x138 Show #2169
May 13, 2004 11:35 pm
11x139 Show #2170
May 14, 2004 11:35 pm
A special edition of the show taped in the middle of the night. Dave arrives on horseback; vermin expert Robert Sullivan searches for rats; Dave shows footage of Eric Stangel trying to call Bob Borden from his apartment/hotel room; ten nighthawks present the Top Ten; Amy Sedaris takes a tour of her West Village neighborhood.
11x140 Show #2171
May 17, 2004 11:35 pm
11x141 Show #2172
May 18, 2004 11:35 pm
Chef Emil Castillo makes a $1000 frittata (read: omelet), and when completed, Dave smothers it with ketchup; Dave pays tribute to Tony Randall, who passed on that morning; Dave resolves a tickle in his throat with a bottle of Tanqueray.
11x142 Show #2173
May 19, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave gives Steph/Monty/Smitty another weird nickname (""Gunther"") while baseball star Randy ""Big Unit"" Johnson presents a perfect game-themed Top Ten.
11x143 Show #2174
May 20, 2004 11:35 pm
11x144 Show #2175
May 21, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave claims he has a rare form of tuberculosis, and that a Dave stand-in is waiting backstage for when the time comes; Kiva ""Grinder Girl"" Kahl reports from her apartment in Brooklyn to discuss a recent leg injury; Gary Mintz fills in for Kiva during ""Will It Float?""; The Strokes perform ""The End Has No End.""
11x145 Show #2176
May 24, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave's stand-in is still waiting for his cue; Dave demands to hear the airplane and Cold Mountain SFX again; the stars of The Sopranos perform the Top Ten; Nicole Kidman makes her first appearance on the show in three years.
11x146 Show #2177
May 25, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave congratulates Sid McGinnis on becoming a grandfather; karate expert Leif Becker attempts to break 500 boards in a minute, but ends up tying his personal record of 415; ten NBA legends present the Top Ten; for the fourth show in a row, the credits roll over footage of Alan presenting flowers to an unknown woman.
11x147 Show #2178
May 26, 2004 11:35 pm
Mailbag: Steph/Smitty/Gunther is dressed up as Rahal/Letterman racer Buddy Rice; the upcoming cable channel ""Logo"" declares the Late Show ""the gayest show on television;"" Dave is interrupted by ""Gerry the Cicada"" Mulligan, who attempts to dance the Lambada. Later, Gerry is invited back onstage to eat actual cicadas with Dave, Paul and bug expert Nate Erwin.
11x148 Show #2179
May 27, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave announces that he's had another falling-out with CBS, which may or may not give him the justification to mock the network again; hundreds of sailors walk onstage for ""Is This Anything?""; Darrell Hammond performs his best impressions, plus a new imitation of Senator John Kerry.
11x149 Show #2180
May 28, 2004 11:35 pm
A 1 1/2 pound Porterhouse steak is subjected to ""Will It Float?"" and despite Dave's scientific argument that a dead animal would more than likely float in water, the meat sinks. Also, Bob Woodward discusses his new book and recent interview with George Bush.
11x150 Show #2181
June 7, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave brags about his Indy 500 win last week; Alan's recap of the first game of the NBA Finals turns into a striptease; Bill Murray announces that he's now moonlighting as a circus clown, wearing an outfit to prove it.
11x151 Show #2182
June 8, 2004 11:35 pm
In honor of one of tonight's guests (a spelling bee champ), Dave mentions that the most commonly used word in the English language is ""biscuit""; a new game called ""Cicada/Secada"" is botched by Rupert's revealing of the game-board; Bette Midler promotes The Stepford Wives and discusses the joy of bowling.
11x152 Show #2183
June 9, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave and Paul have a heated discussion over who would win a fight- ""badass"" Kid Rock or ""nerves of steel"" Buddy Rice; during Mailbag, Biff goes to Wisconsin to help out a law student, and ends up smashing a bottle over the kid's head; Dave tries on a racing helmet given to him by 2004 Indy 500 winner Buddy Rice.
11x153 Show #2184
June 10, 2004 11:35 pm
In honor of his death earlier that day, Paul and the band performs Ray Charles' ""What'd I Say""; Dave sends Matthew Broderick outside to get hosed with water; jazz pianist Jamie Cullum performs ""All at Sea.""
11x154 Show #2185
June 11, 2004 11:35 pm
Jim Gaffigan comments on married life and becoming a father for the first time. Also, Paul Anka delivers Paul's cape for this Friday night James Brown homage, then in honor of the retirement of the long-standing gag, performs a parody of ""My Way.""
11x155 Show #2186
June 14, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave shows us another photo of Harry; Paris Hilton discusses The Simple Life and her now-infamous sex tape; Patti Scialfa (Mrs. Bruce Springsteen) performs ""23rd Street Lullaby.""
11x156 Show #2187
June 15, 2004 11:35 pm
To further promote Popeye's Green Beans, Dave and Paul eat Popeye's chicken and give fun facts; Ben Stiller attempts to break windows across the street with a dodge-ball, but ends up falling off the building.
11x157 Show #2188
June 16, 2004 11:35 pm
11x158 Show #2189
June 17, 2004 11:35 pm
11x159 Show #2190
June 18, 2004 11:35 pm
Michael Moore discusses his infamous speech at the 2003 Oscars and promotes Fahrenheit 9/11; Dave tries on Miss Universe's sash and tiara; Los Lobos performs ""Charmed.""
11x160 Show #2191
June 21, 2004 11:35 pm
Throughout the night, George Clarke eats fish sticks on the roof to honor a certain band performing on the marquee; for the third night in a row, Dave shows (well-edited) footage of a guy cheating on Jeopardy; Phish performs ""Scents and Subtle Sounds"" and unwittingly stops traffic in the process.
11x161 Show #2192
June 22, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave announces that he and Paul will be in this weekend's Gay Pride parade; past contestant Jennie Ford plays ""Super Trump or Monkey;"" Ken Griffey, Jr. presents the Top Ten; Nicole Richie (reality star and adopted daughter to Lionel Richie) tells Dave how she conquered heroin addiction.
11x162 Show #2193
June 23, 2004 11:35 pm
11x163 Show #2194
June 24, 2004 11:35 pm
During a ""New Products"" segment, Dave sinks his teeth into some charcoal briquets, which he swallows with mouthwash. Also, The Secret Machines (in their TV debut) perform ""Now Here to Nowhere.""
11x164 Show #2195
June 25, 2004 11:35 pm
""Know Your Current Events"" is played for the first time in over six months; Dave spills coffee on his lap, and Paul suggests hydrogen peroxide to clean it off; ""Dwight the Troubled Teen"" breaks character to remind people not to download illegally.
11x165 Show #2196
June 28, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave admits that after spending all weekend watching documentaries about building motorcycles, he wants a hog for himself. At the end of the show, Dave forms a motorcycle ""gang"" with Paul, Dave Dorsett, and Chris Robinson of the Black Crowes.
11x166 Show #2197
June 29, 2004 11:35 pm
A husband and wife combo plays the ""Late Show Bill Clinton Memoir Challenge,"" in which they must find the name ""Monica"" in his new book within thirty seconds. Later, Pat and Kenny recreate Oprah's recent interview with the former president.
11x167 Show #2198
June 30, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave turns on the hose-cam again, shooting water at unsuspecting passersby; during Mailbag, Dave shows footage from the new Spiderman movie (actually the classic 60's cartoon) of Doc Ock torturing Spidey with a clip from the Late Show; Jon Heder promotes Napoleon Dynamite.
11x168 Show #2199
July 1, 2004 11:35 pm
Two lumberjacks compete against each other out on 53rd Street, while Will Ferrell shows Dave a home movie of his four-month-old ""baby"" (a sports car).
11x169 Show #2200
July 2, 2004 11:35 pm
The musical talents of Paul, Felecia, and Bruce are laid to waste once more on ""Stump the Band""; ""Fat Spider-Man"" (George Clarke) presents a remote Top Ten; David Sedaris reads an except from his new book, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim.
11x170 Show #2201
July 12, 2004 11:35 pm
In the debut edition of ""Where They Would Have Gone For Their Summer Vacation,"" Biff tells Dave that Charles Bronson would've gone to Mohegan Sun Casino in Connecticut; Jeopardy! super-contestant Ken Jennings presents the Top Ten; Dave admits to Kristen Davis that he was ""watching hard"" while viewing Sex & the City reruns on TBS.
11x171 Show #2202
July 13, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave continues to discuss motorcycles; Alan's baseball commentary is interrupted by the return of that guy who used to beat the daylights out of him several years back; to prove some sort of point, Will Smith sticks his butt in Dave's face.
11x172 Show #2203
July 14, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave compares President Bush to Porky Pig; during Mailbag, a young, fairweather Letterman fan is thrown out of the theater; Hilary Duff promotes A Cinderella Story.
11x173 Show #2204
July 15, 2004 11:35 pm
11x174 Show #2205
July 16, 2004 11:35 pm
Audience Show & Tell: Dave chats with a meteorologist from Connecticut who was once mentioned on ""Know Your Current Events."" Also, Dorothy celebrates her 83rd birthday with a Dave stand-in and a refrigerator full of Red Bull and vodka.
11x175 Show #2206
July 19, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave gloats over Rahal/Letterman Racing's visit to the White House earlier in the day; three stagehands attempt to smear a camera lens with sunscreen from 90 feet above street level; Denzel Washington promotes The Manchurian Candidate.
11x176 Show #2207
July 20, 2004 11:35 pm
In honor of the 35th anniversary of the moonwalk, it's time for a new game at Hello Deli called ""Would You Like to Plant a Flag on the Moon?"" Rupert brings in a contestant from Yukon, Oklahoma, and Dave gives her a hard time about it.
11x177 Show #2208
July 21, 2004 11:35 pm
11x178 Show #2209
July 22, 2004 11:35 pm
We watch news footage of Pete Rose's restaurant being looted of everything except a Late Show t-shirt; while addressing the Sandy Berger controversy, Dave unwittingly spits on Tony; The Hives perform ""Walk Idiot Walk.""
11x179 Show #2210
July 23, 2004 11:35 pm
An audience member from Cincinnati suspends a grape in air by blowing on it; Dave comments on Krispy Kreme's new doughnut shake, followed by a fake ad for Burger King's new liquid Whopper; Britney Murphy and Dave pinky-swear; troubled comedienne Paula Poundstone jokes about her time in detox.
11x180 Show #2211
July 26, 2004 11:35 pm
11x181 Show #2212
July 27, 2004 11:35 pm
With the Olympics approaching, Dave reminds the audience that he's on steroids; a standby audience member calls up Regis and tells him to shove it; Biff makes his second report from Boston; Dave scratches his chin in a borderline-offensive manner.
11x182 Show #2213
July 28, 2004 11:35 pm
A remarkably ornery Dave attempts to apologize to Regis via telephone but hangs up on him, then answers every question on CBS Mailbag with a resilient ""who cares?"" Also, Bob Newhart discusses the statue built in honor of him in Chicago and then does a fairly decent impression of Dr. Henry Kissinger.
11x183 Show #2214
July 29, 2004 11:35 pm
Biff tries unsuccessfully to interview Michael Moore; Natalie Portman talks about sleeping with her dog Charlie; Ambulance Ltd. performs ""Primative.""
11x184 Show #2215
July 30, 2004 11:35 pm
Anton (still filling in for Paul) plays ""Will It Float?"" for the first time; Rosie Perez tells a funny story about an actor who spits when he speaks; Alan Kalter asks Dave to talk about his latest love of his life, then gets beaten up by the women's brother.
11x185 Show #2216
August 2, 2004 11:35 pm
The guest chairs are replaced and Dave's desk has been altered; during ""Who Asked For It?"" an audience member vaporizes himself; Pamela Anderson brags about having sex without dating.
11x186 Show #2217
August 3, 2004 11:35 pm
Former President Clinton discusses a wide variety of topics with Dave, then signs a copy of his book for Harry. Also, Natalie Merchant performs ""Sally Ann.""
11x187 Show #2218
August 4, 2004 11:35 pm
Michael Bearden and Anton continue to fill in for Paul, prompting Dave to ask Anton how Paul would respond to some of his comments tonight; during Mailbag, Pat Farmer determines the length of a ""New York Minute"" but ends up getting robbed and beaten instead; ""Tom Ridge"" (Gerard) discusses homeland security, then breaks into song; Tom Cruise promotes Collateral.
11x188 Show #2219
August 5, 2004 11:35 pm
Dave bids farewell to longtime writer Gerard Mulligan with a sitdown interview and a clip montage heavy on NBC-era footage.
11x189 Show #2220
August 6, 2004 11:35 pm
