5x01 Show #0863
September 1, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave shows highlights from the annual Labor Day staff cookout on 53rd Street; Terry Bradshaw and stagehand Corky Ramirez both inexplicably break into song.
5x02 Show #0864
September 2, 1997 11:35 pm
Warren is caught watching tennis on TV; Dave harasses teen talk show host John Hall; Beck performs ""Devil's Haircut.""
5x03 Show #0865
September 3, 1997 11:35 pm
Viewers at home receive the rare opportunity to see the new audience orientation tape (starring Leonard Tepper). Later, Fiona Apple performs ""Criminal.""
5x04 Show #0866
September 4, 1997 11:35 pm
5x05 Show #0867
September 5, 1997 11:35 pm
On Warren's last night filling in for Paul, he receives a ""Deputy of Comedy"" badge. Later, Sugar Ray performs ""Fly.""
5x06 Show #0868
September 8, 1997 11:35 pm
Paul returns from filming ""Blues Brothers 2000"" with a shaved head. Meanwhile, Dave, Biff, Regis, Al Roker, and Bob Barker harass people in Central Park.
5x07 Show #0869
September 9, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave calls the pay phone island outside so that an unsuspecting tourist could participate in a comedy skit. When nobody picks up a phone, Dave goes on the street and invites a guy from Vermont to perform a musical number with Tony Randall.
5x08 Show #0870
September 10, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave is so fascinated by Paul's shaved head (introduced last night) that he has to talk about it at the beginning of the show.
5x09 Show #0871
September 11, 1997 11:35 pm
Paul writes a song for a trucker who participated in ""Know Your Current Events,"" while Dave chats with WNBA MVP Cynthia Cooper.
5x10 Show #0872
September 12, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave chats with CBS star ""Steve Urkel"" (Gerard), while Star Jones plugs ""The View.""
5x11 Show #0873
September 22, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave listens to the philosophies of second-graders in ""Dave Talks to Kids""; George Clooney promotes ""The Peacemaker.""
5x12 Show #0874
September 23, 1997 11:35 pm
Biff delivers a housewarming gift to a Hooters franchise that just opened, and they send back buffalo wings. Later, an NBC nurse tends to Nicole Kidman's cold.
5x13 Show #0875
September 24, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave discusses aerosol cheese with last minute guest Chef Michael Lomonaco who says, ""It's great when you're driving, actually. You get a little squirt when you're driving.""
5x14 Show #0876
September 25, 1997 11:35 pm
Richard Simmons interupts ""Know Your Current Events""; Drew Carey presents ""Top Ten Signs You Work in a Bad Office""; 7-year-old Jonathan Lipnicki promotes his new sitcom, ""Meego.""
5x15 Show #0877
September 26, 1997 11:35 pm
In a return to the popular theme nights of yore, the entire LATE SHOW audience consists of freshmen from NYU. During the show, Candice Bergen presents a special college-themed Top Ten list.
5x16 Show #0878
September 29, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave shows some of his favorite remotes, segments, and comedy clips from the first four years of ""The Late Show.""
5x17 Show #0879
September 29, 1997 11:35 pm
Bob Borden finally gets to meet Jaleel ""Urkel"" White, while Paul composes a musical number about pastries that resemble celebrities.
5x18 Show #0880
September 30, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave gives a local named Tom Worzall ten seconds of air time, then chats with Wonderbra model Sarah O'Hare.
5x19 Show #0881
October 1, 1997 11:35 pm
Cameron Diaz promotes ""A Life Less Ordinary,"" while the famed contortionist Veniamin does a demonstration.
5x20 Show #0882
October 2, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave comments on the Yankees playoff chances, then chats with new ""Today"" co-host Matt Lauer.
5x21 Show #0883
October 3, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave shows (bogus) NASA footage of Mir; the Dutch Mariachis sing ""Happy Birthday"" to Biff.
5x22 Show #0884
October 6, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave and Paul visit the ""International Hair Forum""; Dan Aykroyd promotes ""Soul Man"" and plays the harmonica.
5x23 Show #0885
October 7, 1997 11:35 pm
Joe G. stars in the new crime drama ""Joey Ventura,"" and clips from the show are scattered throughout the night; Dave gives Paul crap for bumping into a cameraman; Bryant Gumbel promotes his soon-to-debut news program.
5x24 Show #0886
October 8, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave watches leaves turn and nails dry, and an audience member's receives and smokes his first cigar.
5x25 Show #0887
October 9, 1997 11:35 pm
Throughout the night, Leonard plugs his new show, ""Leonard Tepper's Hidden Video."" Later, Jim Belushi promotes ""Total Security.""
5x26 Show #0888
October 10, 1997 11:35 pm
""Dr."" Bill DeLace comments on seasonal allergies; Mark Wahlberg promotes ""Boogie Nights.""
5x27 Show #0889
October 13, 1997 11:35 pm
1997: Stagehand and accomplished thespian Kenny Sheehan is seen in clips from ""The Today Show,"" ""Guiding Light,"" ""Cosby,"" ""The People's Court,"" and ""Spin City.""
5x28 Show #0890
October 14, 1997 11:35 pm
After Dave shows clips of past bunny antics, the Late Show presents ""How Many Guys in Bunny Suits Can Get in the Times Square Disney Store?"" The answer: Three. Later, Stevie Starr shows Dave the magic of forcing yourself to regurgitate.
5x29 Show #0891
October 15, 1997 11:35 pm
Paul introduces this year's National League champions, the Atlanta Braves, until Dave tells him that the Florida Marlins actually won. Later, Carly Simon and Jimmy Webb perform a duet.
5x30 Show #0892
October 16, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave presents ""The Story Behind the Story: The Rolling Stones,"" which looks at the dramatic and emotionally draining production of a ""Behind the Music""-type show.
5x31 Show #0893
October 17, 1997 11:35 pm
WCBS-TV presents a skit about a pancake that looks like Paul. Later, Robert Pastorelli promotes his new drama ""Cracker.""
5x32 Show #0894
October 27, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave shows (bogus) footage of businessmen jumping out of windows on Wall Street; we take a look at ""What Dave Did with the Extra Hour from Standard Time""; Mariah Carey sings ""Butterfly.""
5x33 Show #0895
October 28, 1997 11:35 pm
Following yesterday's sell-off on Wall Street, Dave shows footage of deceased stockbrokers ascending back through windows after today's market recovery. Later, Penn and Teller perform a new trick.
5x34 Show #0896
October 29, 1997 11:35 pm
Biff plays ""Let's Scare the Crap Out of Rupert Jee,"" while Dave interviews Bobby Bonilla of the World Series Champion Florida Marlins.
5x36 Show #0898
October 31, 1997 11:35 pm
In honor of the new movie ""Boogie Nights,"" Dave shows bogus clips of Paul and Nadine Hennelly in 70's-era porno films. Meanwhile, Tony impresses Dave with his clown costume.
5x37 Show #0899
November 3, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave shows a picture of production associate Tara Callahan, who ran in the New York Marathon; John Travolta plugs Face-Off; Martin Short appears for exactly thirty seconds.
5x38 Show #0900
November 4, 1997 11:35 pm
1997: We go to Joe G.'s in search of a political candidate, and we find an unsuspecting patron named Lee Holt. Later in the show, Lee becomes the subject of a hastily-produced attack ad.
5x39 Show #0901
November 5, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave, Paul, Alan, Calvert, and Anton (as ""Buddy"") star in ""Late Show: The Movie."" Also, Rudy Guiliani (poorly) disguises himself as a audience member in the latest edition of ""Who Asked For It?""
5x40 Show #0902
November 6, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave shows a fake ad for a PBS documentary about the band KISS. Later, a lady in the audience who Dave accidentally threw a blue card near is now wearing a cervical collar.
5x41 Show #0903
November 7, 1997 11:35 pm
Casey Kasem introduces the ""Late Show Chair of Mystery."" Also, BB King and Tracy Chapman perform a soulful duet.
5x42 Show #0904
November 10, 1997 11:35 pm
""Master Mentalist"" Pat Farmer does a demonstration on Kenny Sheehan; singer-restaurateur Naomi Judd cooks a family recipe for Dave.
5x43 Show #0905
November 11, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave makes a bad phone call for an audience member, then comments on Marv Albert's legal troubles.
5x44 Show #0906
November 12, 1997 11:35 pm
The greatest six minutes in Late Show history: When the Top Ten card is missing, Dave runs out of the theater, is hit by a cab, runs into Al Roker, and goes into Flashdancers and takes the card off one of the strippers. Shortly afterwards, Paul, missing his sheet music for the Top Ten, runs out of the theater, is hit by a tour bus, runs into Regis Philbin, and goes into the NY Stock Exchange, where he finds his sheet music on the floor. Just as Dave begins the Top Ten, Biff is missing his headset, so he runs out of the theater, is hit by a police horse, runs into Gavin MacLeod, and goes into a Burger King to grab a headset off a sales clerk. When he finally returns, there is no time left for the Top Ten.
5x45 Show #0907
November 13, 1997 11:35 pm
Live from the Edwards Air Force Base, Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thornton race to earn the title of ""World's Fastest Movie Star."" Also, Bill Murray plugs ""The Man Who Knew Too Little.""
5x46 Show #0908
November 14, 1997 11:35 pm
During Mailbag, Gerard performs a Broadway-style number about the possibility of him getting fired. Also, Heather Graham plugs ""Boogie Nights.""
5x47 Show #0909
November 17, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave plugs the new CD ""Live on Letterman,"" then goes door-to-door offering to rake leaves.
5x48 Show #0910
November 18, 1997 11:35 pm
It's another ""Quarterback Challenge"" as Pittsburgh Steelers field general Kordell Stewart and Dave aim footballs at a water tower across the street from the Ed Sullivan Theater.
5x49 Show #0911
November 19, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave (supposedly) calls the Butterball Turkey Handling Hotline, while two mailmen (Leonard and Gerard) present a U.S. Post Office-sanctioned message about on-the-job safety.
5x50 Show #0912
November 20, 1997 11:35 pm
Tony Mendez interrupts Dave, pointing out that he's missing a cue card. It turns out it was with Tony Randall all along.
5x51 Show #0913
November 21, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave shows a (bogus) ad for a Clinton phone sex hotline, while Kirstie Alley plugs ""Veronica's Closet.""
5x52 Show #0914
November 24, 1997 11:35 pm
Paul leaves the show to hosts his own spinoff chatfest; comedian Bill Irwin; the cast of ""Stomp"" performs.
5x53 Show #0915
November 25, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave brings in cab driver Carlos Andrede, who becomes the master of ceremonies in the hastily-produced ""Carlos Andrede Thanksgiving Day Parade,"" featuring performances from Miss New York 1998 and the Rutgers University Marching Band.
5x54 Show #0916
November 26, 1997 11:35 pm
A high school marching band from Memphis storms through the audience after ""Know Your Current Events.""
5x55 Show #0917
November 27, 1997 11:35 pm
It's time for another call to Dave's mom to play ""Guess the Pies""; tonight, she's baked coconut butterscotch pecan pie and cherry pie as well as a sculpted head of Dave made of stuffing. Also, George Clarke starts singing to the new live CD.
5x56 Show #0918
November 28, 1997 11:35 pm
During Mailbag, Dave bags groceries. Also, in spoof of those high-related FOX specials, Dave and Paul reveal one of the magician's secrets.
5x57 Show #0919
December 8, 1997 11:35 pm
Grover Washington, Jr. sits in; Dave shows a Sing and Snore Ernie that he bought yesterday, and it's head tragically comes off with blood gushing out; Dave and Heisman Trophy candidate Peyton Manning go one-on-one in the latest Late Show QB Challenge.
5x58 Show #0920
December 9, 1997 11:35 pm
5x59 Show #0921
December 10, 1997 11:35 pm
5x60 Show #0922
December 11, 1997 11:35 pm
The outside cam reveals Buddy (Bill Clinton's dog) trying to get inside Hooters. Also, Nathan Lane sings a brief song about Hanukkah.
5x61 Show #0923
December 12, 1997 11:35 pm
During Mailbag, Dave and Paul give birth to septuplets. Also, child actor Alex D. Linz plugs ""Home Alone 3.""
5x62 Show #0924
December 15, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave and Tony go to Giants Stadium so Tony can be a kicker, with a little help from Giants coach Jim Fassel, plus kickers Brad Daluiso and Danny Kanell; a man claiming to be the new president of Iran promotes the ""Live on Letterman"" CD; Tyra Banks shows Dave her $3 million bra.
5x63 Show #0925
December 16, 1997 11:35 pm
A plastic Statue of Liberty, a giant meatball, and a pile of bagels are placed on top of the Late Show Christmas Tree. Later in the show, a preacher in the audience puts sauce on the meatball.
5x64 Show #0926
December 17, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave annoys Paul with his impersonation of John Wayne speaking French: ""Bonjour, mon ami.""
5x65 Show #0927
December 18, 1997 11:35 pm
Dave shows a (bogus) clip of him as a 50's-era child actor, while Biff receives Foster's Lager ® from an Australian audience member.
5x66 Show #0928
December 19, 1997 11:35 pm
""James Bond"" (Tom Manino) comes up from the audience at Dave's insistance. Later in the show, Pierce Bronson and his doppleganger go one-on-one. Also, Paul wears his christmas present from Dave: a Jerry Springer-style wig.
5x67 Show #0929
December 22, 1997 11:35 pm
In honor of the week's top-grossing film, Titanic, the stage floods with water. Also, Rupert introduces ""Rudolph, the Littlest Reindeer.""
5x68 Show #0930
December 23, 1997 11:35 pm
It's ""Holiday Tradition Night"" on the Late Show: Another Darlene Love/Bette Sussman performance of ""Christmas (Baby Please Come Home),"" along with another Paul Shaffer impression of Cher's ""O Holy Night,"" not to mention another Late Show QB Challenge with Jay Thomas. Also, Biff goes to Queens to look for Santa.
5x69 Show #0931
December 26, 1997 11:35 pm
During Mailbag, ""The Biff Henderson Celebrity Telephone Interview"" interrogates a man claiming to be Dick Clark. Later in the show, during Dave's interview with Anne Heche, Ellen Degeneres walks onstage with ""their"" baby (actually Michelle O'Callaghan's).
5x70 Show #0932
December 29, 1997 11:35 pm
David Sanborn sits in; Ms. Markey's kindergarten kids in Bowie, MD each write an essay titled ""If I Could Have One Wish""; Bridget Fonda promotes ""Jackie Brown.""
5x72 Show #0934
January 5, 1998 11:35 pm
Like he does every year, Dave regales us with another one of his far-fetched New Year's stories. After Leon Pendarvis brings him down to earth, Dave confesses that he and Biff celebrated by photocopying their face at Kinko's.
5x73 Show #0935
January 6, 1998 11:35 pm
Leon's still here; a customer from Joe G's stars in the quickie movie ""Titanic: Death Boat ‘98""; the outside-cam reveals radioactive steam coming out of the Chrysler Building.
5x74 Show #0936
January 7, 1998 11:35 pm
Recently deposed ""Weekend Update"" anchorman Norm MacDonald vents his anger to Dave; daredevil dance group Streb performs.
5x75 Show #0937
January 8, 1998 11:35 pm
Marc Anthony and the Broadway cast members perform a song from Paul Simon's new musical ""The Capeman.""
5x76 Show #0938
January 9, 1998 11:35 pm
CBS Mailbag: Chris Schmitt of Ottawa, Kansas asks why Biff has a scowl on his face. Biff comes onstage as a lobster is hooked on his backside. Later, Dave explains the formula for comedy success: ""Lobster + Ass = Funny!""
5x77 Show #0939
January 12, 1998 11:35 pm
Mick Fleetwood sits in, and later he plays drums for tonight's musical guests, fellow Fleetwood Mac members Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham.
5x78 Show #0940
January 13, 1998 11:35 pm
Mick Fleetwood sits in again, now joined by pianist Allen Toussaint. Also, tonight's ""May We See Your Photos, Please?"" is a surprising disappointment, as there was only one customer, and he was dropping off a roll of film.
5x79 Show #0941
January 14, 1998 11:35 pm
""Dave Sucks"" is spray-painted onto the World Trade Center, while ""The Masked Magician"" (Pat Farmer) performs a dangerous trick on Kenny Sheehan.
5x80 Show #0942
January 15, 1998 11:35 pm
Biff has hot towels for the audience, while the Spice Girls perform ""Stop.""
5x81 Show #0943
January 16, 1998 11:35 pm
Mailbag: Biff stars in the Swedish sitcom knockoff ""Mjørk and Minde."" Also, famed session keyboardist Chuck Leavell sits in.
5x82 Show #0944
January 26, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave finds three girls in the audience that have never slept with President Clinton; Bob Borden covers the Super Bowl, so Dave implies that Sparky Mortimer can actually get some studying done this year; for one night only, the Top Ten Office moves to Worchester, Pennsylvania; Dave chats with the Newsweek reporter that broke the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
5x83 Show #0945
January 27, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave brings out his top intern Duane, who might be a Chippendale dancer on the side. Also, Dave complains about Late Show knockoffs and shows as an example ""The Simon Harvey Show"" from Australia. The host: Tony Randall.
5x84 Show #0946
January 28, 1998 11:35 pm
John Popper sits in; Dave does the first of his many all-Clinton monologues.
5x85 Show #0947
January 29, 1998 11:35 pm
Ruth Brown sits in, while Dave makes crepes with child cooking prodigy Justin Miller.
5x86 Show #0948
January 30, 1998 11:35 pm
Paul performs a song promoting Tom Selleck's appearance next week, while Dave and Merrill Markoe pretend to flirt.
5x87 Show #0949
February 2, 1998 11:35 pm
Throughout the week, guitarist Mike Campbell fills in for Felicia, who has the flu; Dave mentions that yesterday was the sixteenth anniversary of the debut of Late Night; Tom Arnold promotes his struggling, self-titled WB sitcom.
5x88 Show #0950
February 3, 1998 11:35 pm
Anton introduced as Prince Randusi of Senegal; Mike Campbell is still here; ten interns present the Top Ten; John Goodman shows a clip of him jumping into a fountain pool.
5x89 Show #0951
February 4, 1998 11:35 pm
Dan Aykroyd promotes Blues Brothers 2000, which, might I add, co-stars Paul Shaffer. Also, Duncan Sheik performs ""Everyone, Everywhere.""
5x90 Show #0952
February 5, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave chats Pam Amba and ""Honeymoon,"" the pig that saved her life.
5x91 Show #0953
February 6, 1998 11:35 pm
It's the opening of the Winter Olympics, so Dave announces miniature Ski-Jumping Dogs in the backdrop. Also, live via satellite, Dave chats with his mom in Nagano, Japan.
5x92 Show #0954
February 9, 1998 11:35 pm
Throughout the night, ski-jumping dogs perform in the backdrop; Felicia returns; Dorothy Letterman makes her first report from Nagano.
5x93 Show #0955
February 10, 1998 11:35 pm
Remote: Dave goes door-to-door in New Jersey again, this time to ask about the Winter Olympics. Also, to promote their new film, the reunited Blues Brothers Band (including Paul, Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman, and a twelve-year-old boy) perform ""Sweet Home Chicago.""
5x94 Show #0956
February 11, 1998 11:35 pm
Jonny ""Big Air"" Moseley, Gold-medal winner for Mogul Skiing, shows off the large pieces of whitebread being served to the American Olympians.
5x95 Show #0957
February 12, 1998 11:35 pm
While playing ""Know Your Current Events,"" a soon-to-be unemployed stewardess for United Airlines tells Dave, ""Passengers are our worst enemy."" Also, ten US Olympic hockey players present the Top Ten, while Dorothy interviews Kristi Yamaguchi, Jim Nantz, and K. C. Boutiette.
5x96 Show #0958
February 13, 1998 11:35 pm
Live via satellite, it's Dave's mom at the Winter Olympics in Nagano, Japan, where she introduces a skiing monkey. She also presents the Top Ten.
5x97 Show #0959
February 16, 1998 11:35 pm
Live via satellite in Nagano, Japan: Dorothy's feeling under the weather, Biff and his wife Carolyn chat with Winter Olympic athletes. Also, Tony shows us a cue card supposedly burned in an office fire that weekend, while Dale Earnhardt, Sr. presents the Top Ten.
5x98 Show #0960
February 17, 1998 11:35 pm
Mike Myers chats with (live via satellite) his mother, while Dorothy interrogates Picabo Street.
5x99 Show #0961
February 18, 1998 11:35 pm
Regis, Paul, Mujibur and Sirajul help Dave learn how to skate a la Kristi Yamiguchi, while Dave and Jerry Foley observe and interview ""Future Olympic Hopefuls.""
5x100 Show #0962
February 19, 1998 11:35 pm
Almost halfway into the show, Dave suddenly leaves and gets into a cab that drives to Mexico, then San Francisco. Dave then boats across the Pacific, stops in Japan and sweeps the ice during an Olympic Curling competition in Nagano. Also in Nagano, Dorothy stumbles upon Bob Dole, while Biff searches for celebrity look-alikes.
5x101 Show #0963
February 20, 1998 11:35 pm
In ""Day in New York City with Olympic Judges,"" the one female judge gives Dave's performance in bed a 2.8; during Stupid Pet Tricks, Biff demonstrates a trick he learned in Nagano; throughout the night, Jonny Moseley ski-jumps outside the theater on 53rd Street.
5x102 Show #0964
February 23, 1998 11:35 pm
Paul Newman drops by to annoy Dave; outtakes from last week's ""Olympic Hopefuls"" piece are shown; Dave persuades a less-than-homesick Dorothy to go back to Indianapolis.
5x103 Show #0965
February 24, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave points out that Rob Burnett made a cameo on last night's episode of Cosby; the editors of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue reveal that most of the photo shoot was done at the White House; Dave chats with Cammi Granato and Sarah Tueting of the gold medal-winning US women's hockey team.
5x104 Show #0966
February 25, 1998 11:35 pm
David ""Fathead"" Newman sits in on sax; Bob Borden reports from the Grammys; Dave shows an ad for ""Saddam's Beret Bazaar.""
5x105 Show #0967
February 26, 1998 11:35 pm
5x106 Show #0968
February 27, 1998 11:35 pm
5x107 Show #0969
March 2, 1998 11:35 pm
As usual, Dave cheats in his annual competition with the World Grocery Bagging Champion. This years' sucker: Frank Urbancic. Also, Dave shows a (bogus) clip of President Clinton skiing, then shows a preview of the upcoming CBS special ""Pat Farmer: Master Escape Artist"" (co-starring Kenny Sheehan).
5x108 Show #0970
March 3, 1998 11:35 pm
In the latest ""Kid Scientists"" segment, Lee Marek and his prodigies demonstrate the concept of heat. Also, Richie Sambora performs ""All That Really Matters.""
5x109 Show #0971
March 4, 1998 11:35 pm
Biff's latest celebrity interview involves a fat, bald guy claiming to be Leonardo DiCaprio.
5x110 Show #0972
March 5, 1998 11:35 pm
Gerard hosts ""The Making of the Top Ten,"" a short documentary that reveals more about the writers' animosity towards Dave than the comedy bit that's being profiled. Also, Mark Chesnutt sings ""Useless.""
5x111 Show #0973
March 6, 1998 11:35 pm
Mailbag: Dave and his bodyguard (Bill DeLace) have a falling out. Also, Dave chats with 12-year-old inventor/entrepreneur Richie Stachowski, creator of Water Talkies.
5x112 Show #0974
March 16, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave wears glasses for the duration of the show (a sign of things to come); Sean Pelton fills in for Anton, whom Dave dubs ""Anton Zippy Stickwork;"" Wilford Brimley sits in ""Paul Shaffer's Chair of Mystery;"" Formula One racing star Alex Zanardi cooks.
5x113 Show #0975
March 17, 1998 11:35 pm
It looks at first like the studio is being filled with green beer, but it turns out that one of the camera lenses have been tinted; ""Leonardo DiCaprio"" (Gerard) gloats over his newfound stardom; Dave chats with child actor Jack Johnson.
5x114 Show #0976
March 18, 1998 11:35 pm
5x115 Show #0977
March 24, 1998 11:35 pm
5x116 Show #0978
March 25, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave shows a (bogus) ad for British Airways that is bursting with disclaimers; Laurie Diamond milks a cow backstage; another edition of ""Please Stop Calling Me Chief"" provides entertainment only to Dave; Charles Grodin acts remarkably hostile during his interview.
5x117 Show #0979
March 26, 1998 11:35 pm
Biff hangs with the New York Yankees during Spring Training, while everybody in the audience gets free tickets to fly on British Airways.
5x118 Show #0980
March 27, 1998 11:35 pm
Paul is introduced as ""Ramone Conde""; Dave introduces Mishi, the world record holder for smallest man alive, and later Mishi holds a kitty to demonstrate his miniscule size on camera; Helen Hunt (live via satellite) presents the Top Ten.
5x119 Show #0981
March 30, 1998 11:35 pm
Paul is introduced as Al Roker; throughout the night, Pat Farmer throws basketballs from the roof and into a bathtub on 53rd Street; Dave complains that the balls are ""fruity""; Dave chats with a man who found $70,000 in a garbage can, then returned it to its rightful owner.
5x120 Show #0982
March 31, 1998 11:35 pm
Biff reports on Yankees Spring Training, where he follows/stalks Paul O'Neill. Also, Steve Miller performs ""Fly Like An Eagle.""
5x121 Show #0983
April 1, 1998 11:35 pm
Paul is introduced as Cubby O'Brien; Heather Graham meets The Guy on Fire; Alec Baldwin helps Heather in a weird April Fool's gag in which they sign off and wish everybody a good night a la Saturday Night Live.
5x122 Show #0984
April 2, 1998 11:35 pm
Bruce Willis is live via satellite in Idaho from the set of his upcoming film ""Breakfast of Champions."" All night long he's inside a television monitor that bungee jumps off the roof, then gets dropped onto glass, a bathtub of pudding, and finally gets smashed from six stories onto the street. Also, Tom Brokaw gets annoyed by Dave and in mid-interview walks right back to 30 Rockefeller Center.
5x123 Show #0985
April 3, 1998 11:35 pm
Tom Hanks interrupts the monologue because he and Dave are dressed alike; throughout the night, spelling bee champ Edmund Gillette stands next to Rob's desk and spells words; during Mailbag, Alan Kalter reacts badly to a letter asking if he's a freak by visiting the letter-writer (Jay Johnson) and punching in his face; Tom gets a new suit.
5x124 Show #0986
April 6, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave appears in student films as a side income, while Bob Borden runs throughout the city searching for Leonardo DiCaprio.
5x125 Show #0987
April 7, 1998 11:35 pm
Clint Black sits in; Dave comments on the hot new drug Viagra, then shows a bogus ad for The Teletubbies.
5x126 Show #0988
April 8, 1998 11:35 pm
Throughout the night, Bob Borden tries to set off car alarms directly outside the theater; Dave announces that The Guy on Fire is willing to perform for $2700 a pop, though the guy will come out sans flames for only $700; Jim Belushi attempts singing a old Perry Como song.
5x127 Show #0989
April 9, 1998 11:35 pm
After mentioning a minor disagreement from earlier today, Dave announces his ""blood feud"" with director Jerry Foley; Mujibur and Sirajul appear on Jerry Springer, and no one's surprise, beat the crap out of each other; Dave starts ostracizing all the people who support Jerry in the ongoing squabble; Alan Cumming and the cast of the Broadway revival of Caberet perform the opening number.
5x128 Show #0990
April 10, 1998 11:35 pm
During CBS Mailbag, a viewer asks if Dave has any plans to air his show from the space shuttle. Somehow as a response, astronaut Buzz Aldrin is seen hitting golfballs on the theatre roof.
5x129 Show #0991
April 20, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave announces the birth of Jerry Foley's son; after showing footage from last year of Rob Burnett unwittingly scaring his young daughter in a Easter Bunny suit, he tries on a different outfit with more or less the same results; Harmony Korine almost says something coherent while being interviewed about his new book, which he wouldn't particularly recommend, so Dave tells him to go back to his hotel and take a shower.
5x130 Show #0992
April 21, 1998 11:35 pm
The Guy Not on Fire announces that he is now available for commercials and endorsements, and later in the show he is seen in an ad for Sizzler. Also, Danny DeVito comes out onstage twice to protest Dave's jokes about him being a car hood ornament.
5x131 Show #0993
April 22, 1998 11:35 pm
The Guy Not on Fire appears in his first paid ad (for Elite Computers); a chat with Jason Alexander is interrupted by another inane special report by Alan Richardson; Steve Earle and the Dukes perform ""I Still Carry You Around.""
5x132 Show #0994
April 23, 1998 11:35 pm
""Know Your Current Events"" is interrupted so that The Man Not on Fire can pitch the Biore® self-heating mask. Later in the show, Dave admits that he's on a guilt trip for bumping an audience member for the shameless plug.
5x133 Show #0995
April 24, 1998 11:35 pm
Amongst the festivities of ""Chicago Night"": Jerry Springer's bouncers stand on opposite sides of the stage; The Man Not on Fire appears in an ad for Gold Coast Drugs; the Top Ten home office is temporarily moved to nearby Schaumberg, Illinois; local blues singer (and frequent guest) Taj Mahal presents the Top Ten; Bob Borden goes on a frantic pursuit through the Windy City attempting to get an interview with Oprah.
5x134 Show #0996
April 27, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave persuades an audience member named Gary to shave off his beard; The man who was on fire, then wasn't and is now on fire again promotes Kraus Chiropractic in Iowa; Gary orders a sandwich at Hello Deli; Dave and recent NFL draft pick Ryan Leaf throw footballs at a manhole.
5x135 Show #0997
April 28, 1998 11:35 pm
Willie ""Blue Moon"" Watts sits in on pedal guitar; Dave announces that there have been some technical difficulties they may prevent Johnny Depp from appearing on the 1000th show later in the week; The Man on Fire sings the praises of Feline Pine kitty litter.
5x136 Show #0998
April 29, 1998 11:35 pm
The latest roll call suggests that The Guy on Fire has officially sold out when he runs across the stage (in flames, of course) holding a sign for Highland Metals, Inc.
5x137 Show #0999
April 30, 1998 11:35 pm
A monkey assumes power in the control room, while the Top Ten is interrupted by Antoine's Po' Boys and Deli spokesperson The Man on Fire.
5x138 Show #1000
May 1, 1998 11:35 pm
Tonight's ""Stupid Human Tricks"": Richard Anthony of Ontario reaches back over his shoulder and gives himself a wedgie; John Rites of Nebraska fits three McDonald's burgers into his mouth; and Mike Garcia and Craig Love of Milwaukee do an impression of a helicopter as one spins on the other's head; Gene Siskel makes his first public appearance since undergoing brain surgery that April; Dave announces Johnny Depp cancelled due to the technical difficulties from earlier in the week, and Paul goes on a tirade about it.
5x139 Show #1001
May 4, 1998 11:35 pm
Maynard Ferguson sits in again; Paul runs the Kentucky Derby; Dave shows a microphone plaque he got from the staff.
5x140 Show #1002
May 5, 1998 11:35 pm
The cast of the faux musical ""Homecoming"" performs a show-stopping number. Also, Trisha Yearwood performs ""Never Let You Go Again.""
5x141 Show #1003
May 6, 1998 11:35 pm
Biff tries out tobacco juice spin art; Dave shows a clip from last night's show in which he mixed up ""Viagra"" with ""Niagara""; Biff teaches Sally Field how to spit tobacco juice.
5x142 Show #1004
May 7, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave promotes his new talk show summer camp, while Green Day performs ""King for a Day.""
5x143 Show #1005
May 8, 1998 11:35 pm
Biff goes to Texas to learn to be a cowboy, and to make tonight's audience (residents of Houston) feel more at home, Lyle Lovett shows up to sing an old Hank Williams song, with Biff riding his horse onstage.
5x144 Show #1006
May 11, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave visits a group of sailors on the audience, and one of them does a push-up onstage; Dave shows the audience today's (bogus) edition of The Family Circus; Faith Hill performs ""This Kiss.""
5x145 Show #1007
May 12, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave shows another bogus ""Family Circus"" cartoon; Paul is discovered cheering on Hanson with a small army of teenyboppers outside.
5x146 Show #1008
May 13, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave notices the standby audience really has nothing to do, so makes them do a jigsaw puzzle. When they finish it at the end of the show, we see that it's an image of Al Chez.
5x147 Show #1009
May 14, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave gripes about the eight-minute late start for the show tonight due to golf coverage. Rapidly becoming despondent, he picks up a bottle of tequila and tosses back a few at the desk. Also, Dave mentions that the CBS program Diagnosis Murder had the unfortunate distinction of airing a brand new episode up against the Seinfeld finale, and shows a clip that proves that they were phoning it in.
5x148 Show #1010
May 15, 1998 11:35 pm
Continuing a sweeps period trend of having the audience represent a different city, Dave greets 700+ residents of New Orleans, Louisiana. Keeping up with the theme, Mayor Mark Morial presents Paul with a key to the city, Na'lens native John Goodman presents the Top Ten, and Biff visits Bourbon Street.
5x149 Show #1011
May 18, 1998 11:35 pm
The outside cam peers through the window of Dave's office to show the world a very hideous billboard promoting the sitcom Friends. Matthew Perry drops by to vandalize the advertisement.
5x150 Show #1012
May 19, 1998 11:35 pm
The outside cam returns to the Friends ad that Matthew Perry wrecked last night, and Dave explains why he shouldn't be sued; Rob Burnett draws another doodle of Dave's lawyers; the Top Ten list is interrupted by the office manager in Wahoo, Nebraska (voice of Charles Grodin).
5x151 Show #1013
May 20, 1998 11:35 pm
Biff reports from a Bulls-Pacers playoff game; teen actress Scarlett Johansson promotes The Horse Whisperer; Rob Burnett is dressed to the nines tonight, so Dave asks him to host the last twenty minutes of the show.
5x152 Show #1014
May 21, 1998 11:35 pm
A hairstylist that appeared in tonight's ""Know Your Current Events"" cuts Dave's hair for twenty bucks. He later gives her a $1000 tip.
5x153 Show #1015
May 22, 1998 11:35 pm
A parody of VH-1's ""Behind the Music"" features Paul Shaffer's rise and fall and rise again, with testimonials from Kris Kristofferson, Eddie Vedder, Sting, Erik Estrada (who replaced Paul as bandleader), Lou Reed, and WCBS-TV's local news anchor Dana Tyler (see recap).
5x154 Show #1016
June 1, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave updates his map of the various locales in which he has received speeding tickets; Dave mentions that the son of Dave Dorsett was selected in today's MLB draft; Biff promotes his new culinary program ""Cookin' Naked with Biff""; Art Garfunkel shoots free throws, and then goes one-on-one with a lookalike staffer named Gary.
5x155 Show #1017
June 2, 1998 11:35 pm
All night long, animals lick the camera lens. Included are a pot-bellied pig, lemur, a skunk, a miniature horse, and a guy dressed as a cat (Film Coordinator Rick ""Shecky"" Scheckman). Also, Dave announces his new catchphrase: ""Holy crap!""
5x156 Show #1018
June 3, 1998 11:35 pm
Sarah Jessica Parker promotes her new HBO comedy Sex and the City, while ""Paul Shaffer's Chair of Mystery"" reveals the uglier side of Julia Roberts (played by Kenny Rogers).
5x157 Show #1019
June 4, 1998 11:35 pm
After being bumped the last two nights, Late Show intern Jeremy Weiner finally gets his moment in the sun in ""Dave Hangs with Interns,"" a segment that lasts around five seconds.
5x158 Show #1020
June 5, 1998 11:35 pm
Live via satellite at the Beverly Hills Hotel in sunny Southern California, Walter Matthau gets a haircut. Also, Luscious Jackson, Emmylou Harris, and the Indigo Girls perfrom together to promote Lilith Fair '98.
5x159 Show #1021
June 8, 1998 11:35 pm
Tonight's remote: Delivery guys deliver stuff to Dave's ""apartment"" in Flushing Meadows; items include a tree, a clown, beer, a sofa, a TV, and a singing telegram.
5x160 Show #1022
June 9, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave tries to call Merv Griffin, but ends up chatting with his clueless receptionist; Dave shows a subpoena caddy he claims Martha Stewart made for President Clinton; Bill Cosby performs stand-up in a chair.
5x161 Show #1023
June 10, 1998 11:35 pm
5x162 Show #1024
June 11, 1998 11:35 pm
A Starbucks is opened inside the band section, while actor-comedian Dane Cook makes his television stand-up debut.
5x163 Show #1025
June 12, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave obsesses over some new words in the Merriam Webster Dictionary, and then reads definitions from an advance copy to the audience.
5x164 Show #1026
June 15, 1998 11:35 pm
Live from the Beverly Hills Hilton, Casey Kasem arm wrestles bellhops; Dave and Tony look for the best steak restaurant in NYC; Dave chats with a boy from Jersey who had seven prom dates.
5x165 Show #1027
June 16, 1998 11:35 pm
The outside cam reveals the long line of people waiting with anticipation to see the next ""Charts and Graphs"" segment on June 30. Also, Dave is started to find that tonight's Top Ten has no title, but counts down anyway.
5x166 Show #1028
June 17, 1998 11:35 pm
An audience member walks out in disgust when Dave reminds everyone that the next ""Charts & Graphs"" segment in not for another two weeks. Also, Tony forgets a cue card and Dave gives him considerable grief.
5x167 Show #1029
June 18, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave promotes the overhauled Late Show site, while Tony Randall brags about having a baby (his second) at age 78 with his own Top Ten list.
5x168 Show #1030
June 19, 1998 11:35 pm
Overexcited soccer commentator Andres Cantor presents the Top Ten; Sean Lennon performs ""Home.""
5x169 Show #1031
June 22, 1998 11:35 pm
The Piedmont Bird Callers, once a favored act on Johnny Carson's show, make their third-ever appearance on Letterman. Also, Dave chats with Steve Yzerman, captain of the back-to-back Stanley Cup champion Detroit Red Wings.
5x170 Show #1032
June 23, 1998 11:35 pm
Al Norwood stirs Dave's coffee with the boom mike; Biff attempts to play the sax; Dave shows a clip of his supposed cameo in the ""X-Files"" movie.
5x171 Show #1033
June 24, 1998 11:35 pm
Tony gives Dave the finger, while up-and-coming singer/actress Jennifer Lopez promotes Out of Sight.
5x172 Show #1034
June 25, 1998 11:35 pm
Inspired by watching an episode of Wall Street Week where the panelists sit at a coffee table, Dave asks Biff to ""host"" the guests in the green room.
5x173 Show #1035
June 26, 1998 11:35 pm
Mailbag: Paul goes to desperate measures in order to get a raise, while Mujibur and Sirajul go on a wild goose chase for one of Dave's blue cards.
5x174 Show #1036
June 29, 1998 11:35 pm
Throughout the night, Pat and Kenny throw stuff off the roof, including two 5-gallon water jugs, a pinball machine, twenty gallons of paint, and a TV/VCR set playing a Jerry Springer tape.
5x175 Show #1037
June 30, 1998 11:35 pm
After several weeks of hype, hoopla, and anticipation, Dave finally does a ""Charts and Graphs"" segment; Dave claims that there's a webcam of him on the CBS site; child hollerin' champion Martha Anne Goodwin attempts to shatter Dave's eardrums.
5x176 Show #1038
July 1, 1998 11:35 pm
Thinking that it's robbing him of half of his audience, Dave shows phony clips of the X-Games competition being aired on cable; The Dixie Hummingbirds (featuring Stevie Wonder and Paul Simon) perform ""Loves Me like a Rock.""
5x177 Show #1039
July 2, 1998 11:35 pm
In honor of Independence Day, Biff does a report from Colonial Williamsburg; Ben Stiller promotes There's Something About Mary; The Spice Girls make their first television appearance since the departure of Geri ""Ginger"" Halliwell.
5x178 Show #1040
July 3, 1998 11:35 pm
During Mailbag, various staffers show the audience their baby pictures; Dave introduces a musical comedy troupe called ""The Beltway Bunch"" (a rip-off of The Capital Steps), and Tony runs them offstage; just before introducing tonight's ""Stupid Pet Tricks,"" Dave thanks Merrill Markoe (who underwent surgery earlier in the day) for giving him the idea to do this segment.
5x179 Show #1041
July 13, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave points out an audience member that resembles Rupert; Dave gives a little league baseball team a pep talk; Cherry Poppin' Daddies perform ""Here Comes the Snake.""
5x180 Show #1042
July 14, 1998 11:35 pm
Soul singer Chuck Jackson sits in; Dave shows the audience what a laugh track looks like; the audience is forced to sit through another edition of ""Please Stop Calling Me Chief.""
5x181 Show #1043
July 15, 1998 11:35 pm
Some guy in a kimono sits in with the band; in honor of Antonio Banderas' new movie, Rob doodles on a legal pad to show what Dave would look like if he was Zorro; Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan do a taste test.
5x182 Show #1044
July 16, 1998 11:35 pm
Know Your Current Events: the husband of one of tonight's contestants volunteers to be put to sleep by hypnotist Dr. Neil Cavey. Feeling anxious due to all the attention, he never falls asleep.
5x183 Show #1045
July 17, 1998 11:35 pm
The ""Top Ten Cool Ways the Government Could Spend $63 Billion"" is followed by an investigation by WCBS reporter David Diaz, who scrutinizes the lack of effort put into the long-running comedy piece. Interviews with Gerard, Biff, Richard Jewell and FBI Agent Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) leave the mystery unsolved.
5x184 Show #1046
July 20, 1998 11:35 pm
Live out on the street, we see the traffic ""congestion"" created by New York hosting the Goodwill Games; Dave changes his tie midway through the show; James Caan shaves his mustache.
5x185 Show #1047
July 21, 1998 11:35 pm
In the latest roll call, Dave signs ""Zorro"" (Anton), an audience member with an enormous cold sore, and ""Lynette the Late Show Opera Singer"" off the checklist.
5x186 Show #1048
July 22, 1998 11:35 pm
Biff stands on the sidewalk in 95 degree heat as he tries to determine once again whether a Popsicle® or a Fudgesicle® will melt faster; around the corner from the theater, Dave hoses down passerby; The Farrelly Brothers promote the sleeper hit of 1998, There's Something About Mary, while they strut their ""knowledge"" of sumo wrestling.
5x187 Show #1049
July 23, 1998 11:35 pm
Biff visits Branson, Missouri, while Marilu Henner unsuccessfully tries to persuade Dave into doing some calisthenics.
5x188 Show #1050
July 24, 1998 11:35 pm
A new feature debuts, as Dave announces #3 on the Top Ten List at the start of the show; Mujibur and Sirajul lose their virginity on an internet webcam, and later they hop in bed with Pauly Shore; Natalie Imbruglia performs ""Smoke.""
5x189 Show #1051
July 27, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave has a lengthy discourse on an article he read in Martha Stewart Living; ""Late Show Meteorologist"" Skip Hopson reports from 53rd Street; Tori Amos performs ""Spark.""
5x190 Show #1052
July 28, 1998 11:35 pm
A softball game between Late Show staffers and the cast of Miss Saigon is rigged by Dave; Anton goes into ""Buddy Rich, Jr."" mode and performs drums solos throughout the night; The Goo Goo Dolls perform ""Iris.""
5x191 Show #1053
July 29, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave shows a personal ad from the Washington Post that looks like it was written by President Clinton; Alan fantasizes about waffles; Paul serenades Yasmine Bleeth.
5x192 Show #1054
July 30, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave chats with Jennifer Ringley, the Seattle-based college student best known for operating the voyeuristic website JenniCAM.
5x193 Show #1055
July 31, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave points out an audience member who looks like Kenny Rogers; during ""Late Show en espanol,"" Tony walks out in a suit and bad wig and does a Letterman-type monologue; Dave chats with George Firestone, America's oldest living Boy Scout.
5x194 Show #1056
August 3, 1998 11:35 pm
During a segment in which he shows real and doctored Clinton and Gore news articles, Dave announces that his pants are too tight.
5x195 Show #1057
August 4, 1998 11:35 pm
Paul and Anton Fig participate in a game called ""Average Television Viewer vs. Late Show Television Viewer.""
5x196 Show #1058
August 5, 1998 11:35 pm
During the annual ""New for Summer"" segment, Mujibur and Sirajul are declared ""Late Show Prom King and Queen."" Later, Penn and Teller perform their new magic act.
5x197 Show #1059
August 6, 1998 11:35 pm
Dave feels highly suspect of the audience's intelligence during ""Know Your Current Events""; John Popper sits in with the band; Dave chats with Hunter Scott, a 13-year-old WW II history buff.
5x198 Show #1060
August 7, 1998 11:35 pm
John Popper is still sitting in with the band, while Doris Roberts promotes ""Everybody Loves Raymond.""
5x199 Show #1061
August 10, 1998 11:35 pm
Biff goes outside to annoy people with a bullhorn. Later, Dave meets David Roth, a noted coin magician.
5x200 Show #1062
August 11, 1998 11:35 pm
Throughout the show, stockbrokers jump out of a fifth-story window.
5x201 Show #1063
August 12, 1998 11:35 pm
""Riverdance"" performs live via telephone from Cincinnati. Later, Liz Phair promotes her new album, ""WhiteChocolateSpaceEgg.""
5x202 Show #1064
August 13, 1998 11:35 pm
Paul and somebody named ""Mary Beth"" host a spoof of ""Regis & Kathie Lee"" with Inky Mendez playing Gelman. Regis suddenly pops out of the audience, heckles them, and gets thrown out of the theater.
