7x01 Show #1279
September 7, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave rants about the CBS/Viacom merger; Kevin James promotes a new comedy special.
7x02 Show #1280
September 8, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave tries to call Sumner Redstone's office, then persuades Ricki Lake to make a crank call to Oprah.
7x03 Show #1281
September 9, 1999 11:35 pm
Craig Kilborn promotes some talk show that comes on after Dave's.
7x04 Show #1282
September 10, 1999 11:35 pm
John Popper sits in with the band, while Alan punches Sumner Redstone during CBS Mailbag.
7x05 Show #1283
September 13, 1999 11:35 pm
George Clarke dances in a diaper; Dave shows a ""highlight"" from last night's Emmy win: a clip of Rob Burnett kissing his wife at the ceremony (he forgot last year).
7x06 Show #1284
September 14, 1999 11:35 pm
Andrea Sande and Nadine Hennelly help Joe G's with a Y2K Inspection. They pass, of course.
7x07 Show #1285
September 15, 1999 11:35 pm
Throughout the night, staffer Brian Donahue falls down staircases. Later, Meatloaf promotes ""Crazy in Alabama.""
7x08 Show #1286
September 16, 1999 11:35 pm
With the possibility of a rare hurricane hitting New York City, Paul checks for ""talk show closings"" and Dave comes on stage in a poncho and galoshes. Meanwhile, Jenna Elfman hijacks Anton's drumset, and Christina Aguilera performs ""What a Girl Wants.""
7x09 Show #1287
September 17, 1999 11:35 pm
During CBS Mailbag, Alan threatens to beat up Secretary of the Treasury Lawrence Summers, but he goes to his anger management counselor instead.
7x10 Show #1288
September 20, 1999 11:35 pm
Joe Haden fills in for Alan; Warren Zevon fills in for Paul; Rupert walks over to the CBS Store and reviews the new fall shows on CBS.
7x11 Show #1289
September 21, 1999 11:35 pm
Paul and a local high schooler try their best to learn how to parallel park, while Robin Williams promotes ""Bicentennial Man.""
7x12 Show #1290
September 22, 1999 11:35 pm
Alan, Regis, Bill Delace, and Mike McIntee portray members of the audience during ""Who Asked For It?""; Ashley Judd promotes ""Double Jeopardy.""
7x13 Show #1291
September 23, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave announces that next year, the show will be rechristened ""Late Show 2000,"" while Roger Ebert promotes his revamped talk show.
7x14 Show #1292
September 24, 1999 11:35 pm
During CBS Mailbag, Harold Larkin comments on body piercing, while Dave ""appears"" in a Gap commercial.
7x15 Show #1293
September 27, 1999 11:35 pm
Biff gives a blanket to a cold audience girl; Chewy the Dog looks for truffles; Tom Waits sings with a bullhorn.
7x16 Show #1294
September 28, 1999 11:35 pm
Nadine, Andrea, Sirajul (but not Mujibur) and Joe G. play ""Who Wants to Win a Giant Phony Check for $1,000,000?"" Later, Alan promotes a film he just produced called ""For the Ladies"" (which turns out to be weightlifting porn flick).
7x17 Show #1295
September 29, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave tells another dentist-related horror story; in ""New for Fall,"" Mujibur and Sirajul star in the Bollywood musical ""Basanta Gan Gaibay""; Evander Holyfield presents the Top Ten, but Lennox Lewis interupts to introduce #1.
7x18 Show #1296
September 30, 1999 11:35 pm
Kevin Spacey promotes ""American Beauty,"" then gives Dave a bag of Presidential M&M's. Later, Harold Larkin tells one of the ""True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands"": He walks into a mysterious closet backstage, falls into a black hole, then walks out in a nonchalant fashion.
7x19 Show #1297
October 1, 1999 11:35 pm
Alan's angry because he's not allowed to punch anybody; Dave goes berzerk adjusting his tie; Alan beats up writer Joe Toplyn under Mujibur and Sirajul's supervision.
7x20 Show #1298
October 4, 1999 11:35 pm
""Biff Henderson's America"" spends four days in Turkey, Texas; David Bowie performs ""Thursday's Child.""
7x21 Show #1299
October 5, 1999 11:35 pm
Mujibur and Sirajul sample food at Hello Deli; an ad for ""Late Show on Tour,"" with Jackie Mason playing Dave; In honor of tonight's guest, Dave announces that he will no longer make any more jokes relating to Dan Quayle.
7x22 Show #1300
October 6, 1999 11:35 pm
Tonight's edition of ""True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands"" finds Pat and Kenny in a plane crash over the Andes, where they're reduced to cannibalism.
7x23 Show #1301
October 7, 1999 11:35 pm
A 100-year-old man presents the Top Ten; Biff waits on the fire escape by 53rd street and yells to President Clinton's motorcade that he has snacks.
7x24 Show #1302
October 8, 1999 11:35 pm
1999: During CBS Mailbag, Pat Farmer presents ""Great Pats throughout History."" Later, Sting performs ""Brand New Day.""
7x25 Show #1303
October 11, 1999 11:35 pm
Carole King sits in with Paul, then sings a duet with Bruce Willis.
7x26 Show #1304
October 12, 1999 11:35 pm
Joe G. joins Mujibur and Sirajul to play ""Where Can I Get a Decent Meal in This Town?"" Later, Billy Blanks does a Tae-bo demonstration.
7x27 Show #1305
October 13, 1999 11:35 pm
The outside cam presents Paul Fiore's driver's test in New Jersey, with commentary by Biff and pictures from the WCBS-TV helicopter. When he finishes the test, a babe presents him flowers and Gov. Christine Todd Whitman presents Paul's license.
7x28 Show #1306
October 14, 1999 11:35 pm
Warren Zevon fills in for Paul yet again; Dave wants to say the s-word ""because they did on ‘Chicago Hope,'"" tries it, and gets beeped; Biff gives Yankees tickets to an audience member.
7x29 Show #1307
October 15, 1999 11:35 pm
During CBS Mailbag, Alan Kalter promotes his Millenium Party, which looks like a disaster in the making. Later, Dave presents ""Top Ten Things That Sound Creepy When Said by John Malkovich.""
7x30 Show #1308
October 25, 1999 11:35 pm
Paul and Dave talk about the band's weekend gig at the White House; for his latest World Series report, Biff interviews, amongst others, Evander Holyfield and John Rocker; the octogenarian stars of the hit documentary ""The Buena Vista Social Club"" perform.
7x31 Show #1309
October 26, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave shows a clip from the recently cancelled CBS sitcom Work With Me. Later, David Diaz of WCBS-TV beats up a punk during an on-the-street report.
7x32 Show #1310
October 27, 1999 11:35 pm
Martha Stewart makes Halloween treats; Jets QB Vinny Testaverde helps with the annual ""Halloween Costumes"" segment.
7x33 Show #1311
October 28, 1999 11:35 pm
Security boss Bill DeLace disrupts last night's Gore-Bradley debate; your 1999 World Champion New York Yankees present the Top Ten; Denzel Washington plugs ""The Bone Collector.""
7x34 Show #1312
October 29, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave shows a dumb picture of him outside, then gets marksman Armando Aiello to shoot paint balls at it; Dave disses Harmony Korine, who made some choice comments after getting bumped the other night; Mike McIntee and Bill DeLace guard the world's largest pumpkin (1131 pounds).
7x35 Show #1313
November 1, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave tells a lengthy Halloween candy story, then incorporates his voice into the talking dog from those ""Taco Bell"" commercials.
7x36 Show #1314
November 2, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave says hello to all the folks in King's Height Rest Home in New York; Rage Against the Machine performs ""War Within a Breath"" on the roof in pouring rain.
7x37 Show #1315
November 3, 1999 11:35 pm
14-year-old music prodigy Shannon Kerman sits in; Paul's most vivid memory of this year's World Series is reinterpreted by Martin Scorsese and Ricky Martin; after Mujibur and Sirajul play ""Where Can I Get a Decent Meal in This Town?"" at the trendy Ranch 1 restuarant, Biff brings in fried chicken, an item that they claimed they didn't have.
7x38 Show #1316
November 4, 1999 11:35 pm
A cannon called the Alludium 2000 Pumpkin Modulator, along with its operator Max Teasdale, wait to launch a giant pumpkin into orbit on 53rd Street. Also, Roberta Glasspari and The East Harlem Violinists (subjects of the film ""Music of the Heart"") perform with soloist Mark O'Connor.
7x39 Show #1317
November 5, 1999 11:35 pm
Live via satellite, a lone microphone stands in the sun for an open mike night in the Mojave Desert. Also, Dr. Lou Arrone gives flu shots to the audience.
7x40 Show #1318
November 8, 1999 11:35 pm
NYC Marathon winners Joseph Chebet (of Kenya) and Adrianna Fernandez (of Mexico) run across the stage; Dave mentions that staff members Jay Johnson, Fred Dhimizu and Patty McDonald ran in the same marathon; Kenny Sheehan performs in the Broadway revival of ""Annie.""
7x41 Show #1319
November 9, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave mentions that he's #64 on Entertainment Weekly's list of 100 Greatest Entertainers (inbetween Joni Mitchell and Jim Carrey); live via satellite, it's another Open Mic Night in the Mojave Desert; Boots Randolph sits in on sax; Jane Clayson plugs ""The Early Show.""
7x42 Show #1320
November 10, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave announces the premiere of ""Good Old-Fashioned Fun,"" which includes Harold Larkin making a snow angel in mayonnaise and Mujibur and Sirajul racing to the death in a soap box derby. Later, former Spice Girl Melanie C sings ""I Turn To You.""
7x43 Show #1321
November 11, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave shows a tape of stunt biker/scheduled guest Travis Pastrana's mishap that afternoon, and the injured daredevil later hobbles onstage. By the end of the show, the Hi-Ho Girls are helping Travis repair his bike.
7x44 Show #1322
November 12, 1999 11:35 pm
Jay Johnson gives a tour of the set of ""The Early Show with Bryant Gumbel and Jane Clayson."" Also, Dr. Lou Arrone does his seasonal audience flu shots.
7x45 Show #1323
November 15, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave shows a clip that shows that even though he's only been on the network for two weeks, but there's already trouble on Bryant Gumbel's Early Show. Midway through an interview, a guy accidentally has his arm cut off. Later, Dave and Claudia Schiffer blow up chestnuts in a microwave oven.
7x46 Show #1324
November 16, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave looks over the 2000 Places Rated Almanac, and then calls Donald Green, the mayor of Kankakee, Illinois, the city which rated lowest. As a condolence, Dave presents the mayor with a gazebo, courtesy of ""Gazebo Weekly.""
7x47 Show #1325
November 17, 1999 11:35 pm
During a segment called ""What They're Doing to Boost Their Ratings,"" magician John Bundy makes a cue card disappear.
7x48 Show #1326
November 18, 1999 11:35 pm
Ted Danson plugs ""Becker,"" while Dave demands that #5 in the Top Ten be rewritten at the last minute.
7x49 Show #1327
November 19, 1999 11:35 pm
Gabriel Bryne plugs ""End of Days,"" while Dave says hi to Mark Borchardt's friend Mike.
7x50 Show #1328
November 22, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave, Bill DeLace, Pat Farmer, Biff, intern Laura McCloud, Mike McIntee, Harold Larkin, Paul, Tommy Gordon, and George Clarke comment on ""What They're Thankful For.""
7x51 Show #1329
November 23, 1999 11:35 pm
Tony Mendez and Bill DeLace star in the new CBS midseason replacement series ""Next Time Bring Your Sister, You Hump."" Also, Kathie Lee Gifford delivers a turkey to Dave.
7x52 Show #1330
November 24, 1999 11:35 pm
""Biff Henderson's America"" visits the ranching community of Meeteetse, WY.
7x53 Show #1331
November 25, 1999 11:35 pm
Live via satellite from Indianapolis, Mrs. Dorothy Letterman stands in her kitchen while Dave guesses what pies she baked for Thanksgiving. Afterwards, Dorothy shows her refrigerator is loaded with bottle after bottle of Colt 45® malt liquor.
7x54 Show #1332
November 26, 1999 11:35 pm
A dog that fetches beer appears on ""Stupid Human Tricks""; Dave rants that all the other talk shows are copying the aforementioned segment; another Open Mic Night in the Mohave Desert turns up nothing; Rudy Giuliani presents the Top Ten.
7x55 Show #1333
November 29, 1999 11:35 pm
During the segment ""The Best and Worst of the Millennium,"" an image of Sam Donaldson's eyebrows suddenly comes to life. Also, during tonight's Open Mic in the Mojave Desert, a technician tests the open mike and adjusts the height.
7x56 Show #1334
November 30, 1999 11:35 pm
Dave announces Monica Lewinsky is dating a former LSDL writer; a customer at Joe G's becomes the subject of his own ""E! True Hollywood Story""; Jenny McCarthy plugs ""Scream 3.""
7x57 Show #1335
December 1, 1999 11:35 pm
Glen Campbell sits in; Dave discusses the list of good and bad cities that he mentioned on the show last month, then checks in with Kankakee, IL mayor Donald Green, who receives another gazebo from Dave; Tim Robbins gets clobbered playing ice hockey.
7x58 Show #1336
December 2, 1999 11:35 pm
For the umpteenth time this year, Dave orders Inky to spit out his gum; in honor of the Pokemon craze, Dave and the audience play ""Know Your Japanese Cartoon Crap.""
7x59 Show #1337
December 3, 1999 11:35 pm
7x60 Show #1338
December 13, 1999 11:35 pm
7x61 Show #1339
December 14, 1999 11:35 pm
7x62 Show #1340
December 15, 1999 11:35 pm
Throughout the night, various members of the Philadelphia Flyers shoot pucks at a cardboard cutout of Dave. Also, the Turkish guy has been promoted to stagehand.
7x63 Show #1341
December 16, 1999 11:35 pm
7x64 Show #1342
December 17, 1999 11:35 pm
7x65 Show #1343
December 20, 1999 11:35 pm
7x66 Show #1344
December 21, 1999 11:35 pm
7x67 Show #1345
December 22, 1999 11:35 pm
7x68 Show #1346
December 23, 1999 11:35 pm
7x69 Show #1347
December 27, 1999 11:35 pm
Feeling a little warm, Dave takes off his coat and does most of the show in just his shirt and tie; in ""Who Asked For It?"" Patrick Stewart and the Taco Bell chihuahua star in ""A Christmas Carol;"" Biff performs a holiday-themed duet with a cardboard cutout of Celine Dion.
7x70 Show #1348
December 28, 1999 11:35 pm
7x71 Show #1349
December 29, 1999 11:35 pm
7x72 Show #1350
December 30, 1999 11:35 pm
7x73 Show #1351
December 31, 1999 11:35 pm
7x74 Show #1352
January 3, 2000 11:35 pm
7x75 Show #1353
January 4, 2000 11:35 pm
7x76 Show #1354
January 5, 2000 11:35 pm
7x77 Show #1355
January 6, 2000 11:35 pm
7x78 Show #1356
January 7, 2000 11:35 pm
7x79 Show #1357
January 10, 2000 11:35 pm
7x80 Show #1358
January 11, 2000 11:35 pm
7x81 Show #1359
January 12, 2000 11:35 pm
7x82 Show #1360
January 13, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave thanks Rob Burnett for landing Hillary Clinton on the show; Art Donovan plays ping pong with the disgusting Turkish guy; Lynyrd Skynard performs ""Sweet Home Alabama.""
7x83 Show #1361
January 14, 2000 11:35 pm
Regis comes out for his interview with the disgusting Turkish guy, and later Dave tells him he's scheduled for an angiogram tomorrow morning.
7x84 Late Show: Backstage #1
February 7, 2000 11:35 pm
It's the debut of Late Show Backstage, a clip show hosted tonight by Charles Grodin while Dave recovers from his quintuple-bypass surgery three weeks before. Amongst the highlights: Charles chats with Julia Roberts, Dave's interview with J.Ro from May 17, 1999, a Top Ten list from John Malkovich (see Show #1307), and to cap the night, Charles and surprise guest Regis Philbin.
7x85 Late Show: Backstage #2
February 8, 2000 11:35 pm
""Backstage,"" Day 2: Regis is now sitting in a whole new ""hot seat"" as the clip show's second host in as many nights. Tonight, he chats with Jerry Seinfeld, who introduces footage of Dave doing the Top Ten without pants, and Danny DeVito, who for one reason or another shows a clip from Taxi.
7x86 Late Show: Backstage #3
February 9, 2000 11:35 pm
Backstage #3: Paul appears on the Late Show for the first time since Dave's surgery, sitting on a movie set with Bruce Willis and his old friend Martin Short. Amongst tonight's clips: Bruce doing various stunts; Casey Kasem presents the Top Ten (see Show #0005); Dave makes crank phone calls (also Show #0005); Martin Short sings a selection from the musical Little Me.
7x87 Late Show: Backstage #4
February 10, 2000 11:35 pm
Backstage, Day 4: Regis hosts again, chatting with Bill Cosby, Sarah Jessica Parker, and ""the great"" Pat Farmer. Amongst the clips: Bill goes to the balcony via a ladder; a Top Ten featuring Barry White; Dave and Sarah mingle with Kid Scientists.
7x88 Late Show: Backstage #5
February 11, 2000 11:35 pm
Backstage, Day 5: Paul hosts again, this time with Dave's buddies Steve Martin and Billy Crystal. Amongst the clips: Steve mans a projector to show a clip from his latest movie (see Show #0499); the Top Ten list from the fifth anniversary special, with Jerry Seinfeld escorting Dave's mom onstage; Dave hangs out with Olympic judges (see Show #0963). At the end of the show, Paul and Billy goof around behind the scenes at The Price Is Right.
7x89 Late Show: Backstage #6
February 14, 2000 11:35 pm
Backstage, Day 6: In the cold opening, Paul tries to hit on Drew Barrymore. Amongst the clips: Drew flashing Dave on his 48th birthday; Drew and Dave getting married one month after said clip; ten beautiful women present the Top Ten (see Show #0543); Ray Romano singing ""Silent Night"" as his kids beat each other up.
7x90 Late Show: Backstage #7
February 15, 2000 11:35 pm
Backstage, Day 7: Comedian David Brenner interrogates Kathie Lee Gifford and Alec Baldwin. Tonight's clips: Dave hijacks the Butterball turkey hotline (see Show #1345); a Top Ten remote from Bill DeLace; Alec shares child-rearing tips with Dave.
7x91 Late Show: Backstage #8
February 16, 2000 11:35 pm
Backstage, Day 8: Former ""Tomorrow"" and ""Late Late Show"" host Tom Snyder trades a bon mot or two with Norm MacDonald and Don Rickles. Tonight's clips: Norm vents after being demoted on SNL (see Show #0936); a Top Ten from Demi Moore; Don tells Dave how he met Frank Sinatra.
7x92 Late Show: Backstage #9
February 17, 2000 11:35 pm
Backstage, Day 9: Tom Snyder's still here, and this time he hosts Mike Myers, Roseanne Barr, and Bonnie Hunt. Tonight's clips: Dave shows film footage of Mike as a Canadian Cub Scout; Mike wishes his mom a happy birthday (see Show #0960); a Top Ten from James Earl Jones; Roseanne talks basketball.
7x93 Late Show: Backstage #10
February 18, 2000 11:35 pm
""Backstage,"" Day 10: After chatting with Robin Williams, Tom Arnold openly comments that he's disappointed that Jack Hanna didn't bring any animals to the set. Tonight's clips: Robin storms out of the backdrop (see Show #0001); Dave meets Frisco hippie Manny Papp (see Show #0589); Dave makes baby talk with a monkey.
7x94 Show #1362
February 21, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave introduces the surgeons that saved his life and welcomes (for the third time in two months) Regis.
7x95 Show #GH1
February 22, 2000 11:35 pm
Bill Cosby opens up a box of basketball cards with Vince Carter.
7x96 Show #1363
February 23, 2000 11:35 pm
In his first post-surgery rant, Dave hollers about having to be driven to work for a while, and then really fumes about having to drink decaffeinated coffee; during a segment called ""How The Media Covered Dave's Surgery,"" Dave shows a (bogus) supermarket tabloid stating that he had actually given birth to quintuplets.
7x97 Show #GH2
February 24, 2000 11:35 pm
Kathie Lee Gifford becomes the latest guest host to alternate with Dave while he continues to recuperate from heart surgery. Tonight, she gets heckled by an audience member who notices that she's not wearing a bra, to which she snaps back, ""Go wear a jock strap!""
7x98 Show #1364
February 25, 2000 11:35 pm
Mailbag: George Clarke addresses the comments made about his weight problem, and Dave flashes back to when he woke up from surgery resembling Don King. Also, Hank Hill (of ""King of the Hill"") wishes Dave to get well.
7x99 Show #1365
February 28, 2000 11:35 pm
""Biff Henderson's America"" wrecks havoc in Badger, Minnesota, while Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull performs from his new album.
7x100 Show #GH3
February 29, 2000 11:35 pm
David Brenner fills in for Dave and does about ten minutes of stand-up. Later, he chats with Aida Turturro of The Sopranos.
7x101 Show #1366
March 1, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave continues to rant about decaffeinated coffee; George W. Bush is interrogated live via satellite; Fiona Apple performs ""On The Bound.""
7x102 Show #GH4
March 2, 2000 11:35 pm
Nathan Lane is the latest fill-in host, and he introduces a short film about the many perks of taking over for Dave. Later, he sings a song from the musical You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown with Kristin Chenoweth.
7x103 Show #1367
March 3, 2000 11:35 pm
Steely Dan promotes its first album in two decades, ""Two Against Nature.""
7x104 Show #1368
March 6, 2000 11:35 pm
Paul is wearing a white tailored suit tonight, prompting Dave to point out that the bandleader is the musical director of the upcoming Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies. Also, Sandra and Nadine help Dave celebrate eighteen years in late night, even though the anniversary was over a month ago.
7x105 Show #GH5
March 7, 2000 11:35 pm
Janeane Garofalo becomes the latest guest host; ""slide whistle legend"" Bazeel sits in; Janeane does tonight's interviews sitting in a school desk placed in front of Dave's desk; Bob Odenkirk and David Cross make funny noises; Bazeel and the band performs ""Wipe Out.""
7x106 Show #1369
March 8, 2000 11:35 pm
During ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria fills in for Rob, who's too busy working on the NBC pilot Ed; Biff presents the winning contestant of tonight's ""Beat the Clock"" with the home version of the game (a checkerboard); ""Phil Carmichael"" of CBS Promotions (Bill DeLace) does a presentation on ratings stunts.
7x107 Show #GH6
March 9, 2000 11:35 pm
Guest host Dana Carvey chats with former ""SNL"" cronies Jon Lovitz and Al Franken.
7x108 Show #1370
March 10, 2000 11:35 pm
7x109 Show #1371
March 20, 2000 11:35 pm
In a remarkably lengthy edition of ""Campaign 2000,"" Dave decides not to perform a piece comparing Bush and Gore, and then rants about his cable service. Afterwards, he admits that this is his last night in television, so he introduces his family, then claims he's moving to St. Louis to work for Ralston Purina. Also, while cooking with Martha Stewart, Dave attempts to juggle eggs.
7x110 Show #1372
March 21, 2000 11:35 pm
Biff devours the first robin of spring; the disgusting Turkish guy disappears; Pat and Kenny toss Matthew Broderick's birthday cake off the roof.
7x111 Show #1373
March 22, 2000 11:35 pm
Out on 53rd Street, Biff has a hand counter to help with the ongoing US Census; Dave shows a clip of Barbara Walters making a weird facial reaction during her latest Oscar special; the Gore-Bush bit from two nights ago is finally performed in its entirety; Biff counts a total of 1,482 people in the United States.
7x112 Show #1374
March 27, 2000 11:35 pm
Rob Burnett returns to his desk on the corner of the stage; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Dave comments on CBS' new slogan (""The address… is CBS"") and cracks wise on Gene Keady's hair; during the Top Ten, Dave makes a rare bald joke aimed at Paul.
7x113 Show #1375
March 28, 2000 11:35 pm
Cold opening: Dr. Henry Kissinger announces that he's Dave's latest guest host, only to learn rather abruptly that Dave isn't sick anymore. Also, Dave has Rupert make a Hello Deli's latest menu addition, the kosher-friendly ""Paul Shaffer Sandwich,"" and a few minutes later Rupert delivers it to its namesake.
7x114 Show #1376
March 29, 2000 11:35 pm
Paul is introduced as Gaston Mazacani; Rob tells a funny story about an incident he had with a cab driver; during a segment called ""What I like about Spring,"" Alan unwittingly admits that he's on the down low.
7x115 Show #1377
March 30, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave demonstrates the ""magic"" of decaffeinated coffee by mixing food coloring in water.
7x116 Show #1378
March 31, 2000 11:35 pm
During Campaign 2000, nobody can muster up any interesting topics, so Dave discusses Daylight Savings Time. Later, Dave brings up the recently-announced discovery that most gay men have unusual finger length, so Dave, Paul and Biff (in a dress) check their hands.
7x117 Show #1379
April 3, 2000 11:35 pm
Campaign 2000: Dave finds a tick on his suit, panics, calls Dr. Lou Aronne, then shows three ticks close-up using a special camera.
7x118 Show #1380
April 4, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave announces that the show is adopting (and thus protecting) Cuban refugee Elian Gonzalez; Rupert makes a Biff Henderson sandwich for Paul, but not for Biff; Dave mentions that he received a phone call from Johnny Carson shortly after his shout-out last week.
7x119 Show #1381
April 5, 2000 11:35 pm
7x120 Show #1382
April 6, 2000 11:35 pm
7x121 Show #1383
April 7, 2000 11:35 pm
Actor Stephen Tobolowsky sits in; during Mailbag, we learn that Tony is Fidel Castro's estranged son; Jon Stewart tries to give Dave a human heart, and after Dave declines, Jon walks offstage and puts it back in a very annoyed Tony Randall.
7x122 Show #1384
April 10, 2000 11:35 pm
7x123 Show #1385
April 11, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave shows a clip of the recent live television remake of Fail Safe to demonstrate how lax CBS is at preventing profanities from being heard on-air. Also, Jenna Elfman promotes Keeping the Faith.
7x124 Show #1386
April 12, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave announces he's 41 today because he's not counting his 12 years at NBC; during a segment called ""Job Hunting Tips,"" a barbershop quartet sings intern Bob Dickerson's resume; Richard Simmons calls up Daddy to wish him a happy birthday, and Dave promptly hangs up on him.
7x125 Show #1387
April 13, 2000 11:35 pm
Campaign 2000: Dave honors a bald audience member. Later, Biff hands out Broadway tickets to two couples in the audience.
7x126 Show #1388
April 14, 2000 11:35 pm
Mick Taylor of the Rolling Stones sits in; with nothing to discuss, ""Campaign 2000"" lasts exactly six seconds; during Mailbag, Dave and Paul star in the new crime drama ""Good Cop, Good Cop.""
7x127 Show #1389
April 24, 2000 11:35 pm
Paul says his 86-year-old father, Bernard Shaffer, had a quintuple bypass yesterday and later Bruce Kapler admits that his dad had a mere double bypass a year ago. Also, Dave stops the show to read the latest issue of Oprah's magazine.
7x128 Show #1390
April 25, 2000 11:35 pm
After discussing Oprah's magazine on and off for the last few weeks, Dave announces that the first issue of ""D,"" the Dave magazine, has finally been rolled out. Also, Alan interrupts ""Campaign 2000"" to announce he's been reunited with his fat German son.
7x129 Show #1391
April 26, 2000 11:35 pm
The INS captures and seizes Tony (twice); Purdue University basketball coach Gene Keady presents the Top Ten; The Smashing Pumpkins perform ""Blue Skies Bring Tears.""
7x130 Show #1392
April 27, 2000 11:35 pm
The INS harasses Tony again; Rob Burnett appears live via satellite from LA for ""Campaign 2000""; Alan and his fat, gender-confused German son celebrate Take Your Daughters to Work Day.
7x131 Show #1393
April 28, 2000 11:35 pm
During Mailbag, Alan admits to doing the deed with Janet Reno; production assistant Jeremy Weiner is subjected to Paul's favorite game, ""Staffer/Not a Staffer""; David Wells and Bernie Williams present the Top Ten.
7x132 Show #1394
May 1, 2000 11:35 pm
Jimmy Webb and Glen Campbell sit in; Dave announces the blood test following last week's tick incident came out negative; in homage to a trend that sweeping various TV shows nowadays, ""Campaign 2000"" is shown in letterbox; independent film maker Mark Borchardt presents his interview with former Presidential candidate Gary Bauer.
7x133 Show #1395
May 2, 2000 11:35 pm
Live via satellite, we go to Preston Luggage in Dallas for another lengthy chat with Al Cordova and his assistant Kathy. Also, during ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria Pope introduces Rob Burnett, who walks onstage to a standing ovation.
7x134 Show #1396
May 3, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave honors ""Great Bald Men throughout History"" (him, Paul, and Dwight D. Eisenhower), while we watch the latest round of ""Biff Henderson's Fun with a Stopwatch.""
7x135 Show #1397
May 4, 2000 11:35 pm
Julia Louis-Dreyfus sings a song from West Side Story, and Jerry Seinfeld shows up to ""sing"" with her. Also, Dave shows footage of a woman dropping a bowling ball on her husband's noggin.
7x136 Show #1398
May 5, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave announces he was pulled over for speeding again, then kisses up to the New York State police; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Dave sings the praises of Tivo; ten jockeys present the Top Ten.
7x137 Show #1399
May 8, 2000 11:35 pm
Apparently, Michelle O'Calaghan had another baby over the weekend; Dave says he's been called to jury duty, prompting a brief state of panic; during another ""What's New"" segment, Pat and Kenny attempt to recite Shakespeare; a morbidly obese man is introduced as the winning jockey of last weekend's Kentucky Derby.
7x138 Show #1400
May 9, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave continues to comment on the jury duty situation; the outside cam heads for Joe G's to play ""Would You Like To Win a Phony Check for 350 Million Dollars?""; after three years of struggling, Rob Burnett finally shows footage of his daughters not being afraid of the Easter Bunny.
7x139 Show #1401
May 10, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave shows a CNN clip and a newspaper article pertaining to the jury duty controversy; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Paul admits he had a nightmare involving Maria Pope; Caroline Rhea discusses relationships.
7x140 Show #1402
May 11, 2000 11:35 pm
Kathie Lee Gifford discusses her pending departure from her talk show, then ""sings"" ""Love Never Fails.""
7x141 Show #1403
May 12, 2000 11:35 pm
Rob and Dave go over the ground rules for Richard Simmons' latest visit tonight, including permission to use a fire extinguisher on Richard if needed; during Mailbag, Dave becomes pen-pals with viewer Tyler Gatlin; ten celebrity moms (including Gerard and Dorothy) present the Top Ten, though it wouldn't become a yearly tradition until 2002.
7x142 Show #1404
May 15, 2000 11:35 pm
Peter Frampton fills in for Felicia Collins, who had a gig; Paul mentions that Anton is getting married over this coming weekend; Rob announces that Ed has officially been picked up for NBC's fall schedule.
7x143 Show #1405
May 16, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave mangles the song ""Memory,"" while Rupert and Tony Randall are invited to ""Campaign 2000"" but have absolutely nothing worth saying.
7x144 Show #1406
May 17, 2000 11:35 pm
Campaign 2000: Dave mentions the final episode of Beverly Hills, 90210, which proceeds into another one of Alan's crying jags.
7x145 Show #1407
May 18, 2000 11:35 pm
A man pretending to be Les Moonves delivers a Murder, She Wrote to Dave; the retirement of longtime White House press corps member Helen Thomas is discussed, so Dave shows a gag reel showing memorable moments of her career dating back to 1492; Dave promotes tomorrow night's bowling ball stunt.
7x146 Show #1408
May 19, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave announces that this is the season finale; Dave and Maria bid farewell to Rob Burnett, who will now be busy at work with Ed; Tonya Smith drops a bowling ball on the head of Ken Richmond from 12 feet above the stage; Ringo Starr and the All-Starr Band sing ""With a Little Help from My Friends.""
7x147 Show #1409
May 22, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave has problems adjusting the lumbar of his chair; Maria Pope brags about sleeping 21 hours straight; Michael J. Fox discusses his health-related ""retirement"" from television.
7x148 Show #1410
May 23, 2000 11:35 pm
Buzz Aldrin interviews this year's nominees for the Daytime Emmys in a spacesuit; Mujibur and Sirajul make a basketball wager with Rupert; Dave flips through a furniture catalog; Matchbox Twenty performs ""Crutch"" out on the sidewalk.
7x149 Show #1411
May 24, 2000 11:35 pm
James Earl Jones reads excerpts from Richard Simmons' new autobiography; ""Biff Henderson's America"" spends a couple of days in Calhoun, Missouri; a man pretending to be Les Moonves promotes the new game show Survivor while dressed up as Moses.
7x150 Show #1412
May 25, 2000 11:35 pm
""Biff's Fun with a Stopwatch"" goes to a Pacers playoff game, during which he shoplifts, then harasses a fat guy.
7x151 Show #1413
May 26, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave drops his flipped pencil; during Mailbag, ""Bob Knight"" (Gerard) cannibalizes one of his players; Dave discusses his new chair.
7x152 Show #1414
June 5, 2000 11:35 pm
7x153 Show #1415
June 6, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave makes his first-ever comments on the CBS' latest hit Survivor, and then brings up jury duty again, exclaiming ""Some dudes will be going down!""
7x154 Show #1416
June 7, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave says Campaign 2000 is ""largely void of content, (and) just a big waste of time."" During tonight's segment, however, Paul openly wishes that they would use his name as a clue on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Also, Alan gives tips for summer safety, which quickly morphs into an excuse to rip off his shirt and pour suntan lotion all over his body.
7x155 Show #1417
June 8, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave introduces Paul as Wayne ""Fat Boy"" Ewing; in honor of Survivor, George Clarke locks himself in the boiler room with nothing but a video camera and some rations, and eventually ends up chewing his arm off; Biff reports from Game 1 of the NBA Finals in Los Angeles.
7x156 Show #1418
June 9, 2000 11:35 pm
Paul hosts a game called ""Staffer / Not a Staffer,"" in which Dave must guess if the person onstage is one of his underlings. He correctly guesses that it is a staffer; talent researcher Nick Prueher. Also, Maria Pope discusses a recent trip to Hooters.
7x157 Show #1419
June 12, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave announces that he's fulfilled his jury duty up in Connecticut (he didn't make the cut); George Clarke continues to hold on for dear life in the boiler room; Biff visits the NBA Finals in LA; Maria and Paul offer their condolences to Dave.
7x158 Show #1420
June 13, 2000 11:35 pm
Pat Farmer fixes Dave's chair; during an outside cam bit involving the CBS Store and a new electronics shop next door, Tony Randall is found standing on the roof for no particular reason; the 2000 Stanley Cup Champion New Jersey Devils walk onstage for ""Campaign 2000,"" then hang out at the CBS Store.
7x159 Show #1421
June 14, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave announces the birth of Kathy Mavrikakis' daughter; George Clarke is now trapped in the boiler room with two prostitutes, and then declares himself a ""Volcano God""; Isaac Hayes conducts an orchestra performing the theme from Shaft.
7x160 Show #1422
June 15, 2000 11:35 pm
An old man (not Calvert) shuffles his feet onstage at the end of the monologue, then walks away; for Campaign 2000, Maria introduces Stacey Stillman, the first Survivor loser to appear on the Late Show; Dave tastes Naomi Campbell's new shower gel.
7x161 Show #1423
June 16, 2000 11:35 pm
Laurie Diamond brings Dave a new cup of coffee after someone steals his mug; during Mailbag, Gerard comments on Survivor; during ""Stupid Pet Tricks,"" Dave accidentally steps on dog's tail and gets bitten on the face.
7x162 Show #1424
June 19, 2000 11:35 pm
7x163 Show #1425
June 20, 2000 11:35 pm
Paul Rodgers of Bad Company sits in on vocals; after Dave worries about possible civil disobedience in downtown LA after the Lakers' NBA Championship, Harold Larkin opens the door to reveal rioting outside the theater; Mark Wahlberg promotes The Perfect Storm.
7x164 Show #1426
June 21, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave shows a (phony) tape of Tiger Woods disintegrating opponents' balls with his laser eyes; during Campaign 2000, ""Rita Buttgas"" (Jude Brennan) returns to celebrate the one-year anniversary of her $100 victory on ""Alan's Secret Word"" and discusses the hardships she's had since her fleeting fame fizzled; Dana Carvey and Dave share stories about their heart problems.
7x165 Show #1427
June 22, 2000 11:35 pm
George continues to hold on to dear life in the boiler room; ""non-surviving Survivor"" Ramona Gray interrupts ""Campaign 2000""; PJ Olsson performs ""Visine.""
7x166 Show #1428
June 23, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave demonstrates troubles with newscasters who look at the wrong camera by moving his head every five seconds; during Mailbag, Biff chats with (pre-recorded) footage of Shaquille O'Neal; Worldwide Pants production assistant Allison Abbate is the latest to be subjected to ""Staffer- Not a Staffer.""
7x167 Show #1429
June 26, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave repeats the footage of the dog bite from last week, now claiming that a ""wild dingo"" gave him rabies; Dave says George W. Bush is ""(as) dumb as a box of tools""; after his interview, Tom Brokaw walks straight back to Rockefeller Center.
7x168 Show #1430
June 27, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave confesses that he has a slight crush on British news anchor Daljit Dhaliwal. Later, Alan interrupts Dave to congratulate the genetics scientists for cracking the genetic code, then offers ""specimens"" for the lady researchers.
7x169 Show #1431
June 28, 2000 11:35 pm
Ted Nugent sits in; Dave rants about the ""wild island sex"" on Survivor; Martha Stewart arrives onstage on a red, white and blue bike, then gives The Nuge a guitar case made entirely of pinecones.
7x170 Show #1432
June 29, 2000 11:35 pm
Maria tells Dave that newscaster/hottie Daljit Dhaliwal has been booked for next week, while Dave announces that he's doing a favor for a cop who stopped him for speeding recently by having him appear on the show. Also, Dave and Survivor loser Dirk Been comment on how everybody's losing weight on the show except Richard Hatch.
7x171 Show #1433
June 30, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave brags that he's going to a gin n' tonic party after the show to look for some babes; during Mailbag, Biff blows Dan Rather's head off; a social worker named Lauren is the first real decoy to appear on ""Staffer- Not a Staffer.""
7x172 Show #1434
July 3, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave plays the tapes of the dog bite and the deer attack yet again; during Campaign 2000, Maria introduces Dave to a First Mate in the US Navy, and 200 sailors from the USS Nassau storm the stage right afterward; Brian Wilson and Friends perform ""Sloop John B.""
7x173 Show #1435
July 4, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave introduces the ""Late Show Liberty Dancers""; live via telephone, the owner of a nearby fireworks shop shoots explosives; the finalists of this year's National Hollerin' Championship perform onstage.
7x174 Show #1436
July 5, 2000 11:35 pm
The ""Liberty Dancers"" are rechristened ""The 5th of July Dancers""; an audience guy with a very distinctive goatee is the subject of a reality show-themed Top Ten; Dave bullies Tony into promoting his self-titled internet program.
7x175 Show #1437
July 6, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave finally meets Daljit Dhaliwal, who seems more interested in discussing world affairs then responding to Dave's thinly-veiled flirting. Also, Shawn Wayans promotes Scary Movie.
7x176 Show #1438
July 7, 2000 11:35 pm
Pat and Kenny replace Dave's chair; Dave welcomes Sgt. John Best of the Marshall (Texas) Police Department as the new co-host of the show; Jerry Foley appears on ""Staffer- Not a Staffer"" and nearly stumps Dave.
7x177 Show #1439
July 17, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave asks the viewers at home to have a nice, tasty beverage while they watch the show; Survivor tenth-place finisher Gretchen Cordy drops by; Elliott Smith performs ""Somebody That I Used to Know.""
7x178 Show #1440
July 18, 2000 11:35 pm
Live from the theater basement, it's ""Let's Look for Rats."" The piece gets off to a slow start, until Alan runs downstairs to scare them into appearing on camera.
7x179 Show #1441
July 19, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave continues to refer to Paul as Wayne ""Fat Boy"" Ewing; Alan shows Dave photos from his recent vacation; Maria confirms that Al Gore's interested in being a guest on the show; Ben Folds Five (in their last TV appearance) performs ""Regrets.""
7x180 Show #1442
July 20, 2000 11:35 pm
Continuing with a running gag that started the previous week, Dave shows a ""Anna Kournikova Play of the Day"" (footage of her drinking a water bottle), followed by similar clips from Don Zimmer and Larry King. Also, Gerard impersonates Survivor loser Greg Buis (who was sick) for a spirited chat during ""Campaign 2000.""
7x181 Show #1443
July 21, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave trims off half of his tie; Alan has a crying jag over Kathie Lee Gifford's departure from her daytime talk show; Dave and Jon Stewart discuss politics.
7x182 Show #1444
July 24, 2000 11:35 pm
Pat and Kenny play Frisbee on the roof; the latest roll call introduces us to such people behind-the-scenes as Tony Mendez's puppet-master, Dave's fiancé and Paul's girlfriend (the same woman), and a staffer who's still living in his Y2K bunker; Dave suggests that a proposed Bush-Gore debate on the show will utilize Jai Alai scoring.
7x183 Show #1445
July 25, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave suggests that someone on the staff is messing around with his chair; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria Pope tells Dave that there has been no word from the Bush camp; George Plimpton reads the new Harry Potter book, but not aloud; Ween performs ""Even If You Don't.""
7x184 Show #1446
July 26, 2000 11:35 pm
A new controversy brews as Dave claims he's going to dust his chair for ""ass prints""; Harold Larkin is attacked by a giant can of Off! bug spray; Kathie Lee Gifford receives a farewell present from Dave.
7x185 Show #1447
July 27, 2000 11:35 pm
An audience member names all ten of her grandkids; the entire theater is filled with mosquito spray; Kathie Lee returns to present the Top Ten.
7x186 Show #1448
July 28, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave hits Alan with a baseball bat; a blonde woman pretending to be Kathie Lee says goodbye forever to Dave; David Gray performs ""Babylon.""
7x187 Show #1449
July 31, 2000 11:35 pm
Dave shows (bogus) footage of a guy with defibrillator paddles standing near Dick Cheney during a television interview. Later, Macy Gray sings ""I Try.""
7x188 Show #1450
August 1, 2000 11:35 pm
During ""Campaign 2000,"" Tony Randall botches a comedy piece. Later, Nathan Lane talks about his dog and sings.
7x189 Show #1451
August 2, 2000 11:35 pm
Alan goes berzerk and chases a man outside. Later, Dave chats with President Clinton's press secretary Joe Lockhart.
7x190 Show #1452
August 3, 2000 11:35 pm
Maria introduces Dave to ""Survivor"" contestant Gervase Peterson. Later, NBC weatherman Al Roker promotes his new book.
7x191 Show #1453
August 4, 2000 11:35 pm
During CBS Mailbag, Mujibur and Sirajul debate ""Do you like monkeys?"", which results in a lengthy fistfight. Later, after another one of Inky Mendez's tantrums, we see an ad for ""Dave and Tony's How to Rant In Spanish"" educational videotape.
7x192 Show #1454
August 7, 2000 11:35 pm
For no apparent reason, the CEO of Qualcomm presents Dave with a check for $25,000. Later, Dave chats with Jean Jordan, the stripper-turned-writer who was eliminated from ""Big Brother 1.""
7x193 Show #1455
August 8, 2000 11:35 pm
""The Late Show Iron Chef"" pits Rupert Jee against Joe G. Rupert wins decisively with his chicken rollatini.
7x194 Show #1456
August 9, 2000 11:35 pm
Biff goes outside to count sweaty people; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Alan interrupts Maria with a soulful rendition of ""Send in the Clowns.""
7x195 Show #1457
August 10, 2000 11:35 pm
Paul joins Dave for ""Know Your Jewish U.S. Senators."" During ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria introduces Dave to ""Survivor I"" runner-up Colleen Haskell.
7x196 Show #1458
August 11, 2000 11:35 pm
Vince Vaughn promotes ""The Cell,"" while Maria expresses her optimism in a possible debate between George W. Bush and Al Gore right here on the show.
