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Two and a Half Men

Season 1 2003 - 2004
TV-14

  • 2003-09-23T01:00:00Z on CBS
  • 17m
  • 8h 17m (24 episodes)
  • United States
  • English
  • Comedy
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

24 episodes

Series Premiere

2003-09-23T01:00:00Z

1x01 Pilot

Series Premiere

1x01 Pilot

  • 2003-09-23T01:00:00Z23m

Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

2003-09-30T01:00:00Z

1x02 Big Flappy Bastards

1x02 Big Flappy Bastards

  • 2003-09-30T01:00:00Z21m

Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

2003-11-16T02:00:00Z

1x09 Phase One, Complete

1x09 Phase One, Complete

  • 2003-11-16T02:00:00Z21m

Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

2003-11-24T02:00:00Z

1x10 Merry Thanksgiving

1x10 Merry Thanksgiving

  • 2003-11-24T02:00:00Z21m

Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

Mid Season Finale

2003-12-15T02:00:00Z

1x11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Mid Season Finale

1x11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

  • 2003-12-15T02:00:00Z20m

When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

2004-01-11T02:00:00Z

1x13 Sarah Like Puny Alan

1x13 Sarah Like Puny Alan

  • 2004-01-11T02:00:00Z20m

Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

2004-02-02T02:00:00Z

1x14 I Can't Afford Hyenas

1x14 I Can't Afford Hyenas

  • 2004-02-02T02:00:00Z21m

Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

2004-02-16T02:00:00Z

1x16 That Was Saliva, Alan

1x16 That Was Saliva, Alan

  • 2004-02-16T02:00:00Z21m

Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

2004-05-03T01:00:00Z

1x21 No Sniffing, No Wowing

Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

2004-05-17T01:00:00Z

1x23 Just Like Buffalo

1x23 Just Like Buffalo

  • 2004-05-17T01:00:00Z21m

When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

Season Finale

2004-05-24T01:00:00Z

1x24 Can You Feel My Finger?

Season Finale

1x24 Can You Feel My Finger?

  • 2004-05-24T01:00:00Z21m

Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

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