3x10 Plato's Stepchildren

[4.4/10] Welcome to Filler: The Episode. What a waste. There is so much promising material in this one, so many things that could otherwise be really cool or interesting, but it gets pretty interminable at points and so on the nose and obvious and uncomfortable in places that the entire thing falls apart. Let’s talk about the three worst scenes of the episode, two of which should be the best scenes.

The first is the one where the Platonians screw with Kirk and Spock in order to try to get McCoy to agree to stay with them. It goes on forever. We get it -- these guys are cruel and will use torture and humiliation to get what they want. Having Kirk and Spock do fifteen different varieties of some horrible or embarrassing thing does nothing to drive that point home any more. It’s a big instance where it felt like this episode was running short, and this was an easy place to put padding.

The other side of the coin is that this should have been a highlight of the episode, and not just the ironic “this is garish, entertaining garbage” sense. Seeing dignified Captain Kirk and stoic Spock have to dance and play should be, alternatively, unnerving or fun. “Plato’s Stepchildren” never really hits either mark (though their initial little jig gets a bit of it). Instead, it’s all so over the top and lengthy that it robs the sequence of any power.

The second is the scene where Kirk, Spock, Bones, and Alexander (the little person “jester” of the other Platonians) come up with the scheme to give themselves the godlike powers. On a minor note, it opens up all sorts of plot hole problems when having telekinesis would be super useful down the line, but whatever. More importantly, it is just an unending scream of exposition and repetition. Again, the thrust of the scene is clear -- we can use this chemical to out-power the bad guys. It’s a little dumb, but it’s not the dumbest treknobabble solution to a problem these three have come up with.

The rub is that they explain it and explain it and then explain it again just to make sure you understand every niggling detail. The script is flabby as hell, robbing this big solution scene of having momentum because the show gets so bogged down in explication.

Then there’s the last sequence featuring the addition of Uhura and Nurse Chapel, which has a myriad of problems. Let’s get this part out of the way first -- this is another instance of Trek using something very rape-y as an incidental plot point, and not really having the facility or tone as a series to handle it. That’s a big problem and makes a lot of those closing scenes tough to watch (and not in the way the show intended). It’s a recurring issue on the show, which is troubling, but I try to make allowances for this just being one of those Sixties things that are a little horrifying now but were taken for granted at the time. It’s still pretty rough though.

(Though hey, credit where credit is due, the scene also includes the first interracial kiss on television, so there’s that.)

But even apart from the broader social issues that scene raises, it also doesn’t work for its intended purpose. It should be horrifying to watch people forced to be sexual with one another or torture one another against their will, and in different hands, you could explore that in a really interesting way. (See: Jessica Jones). Something like turning Nurse Chapel’s dreams of being with Spock into a nightmare because of the lack of consent could be a legitimately chilling and interesting thing to examine.

“Plato’s Stepchildren” just uses it for set dressing though, just something else that escalates the danger and shows the Platonians are bad guys. We already knew that, and it shortchanges the characters at the center of the sequence. Nevermind that the lines and acting are over the top and overdone, and again, go on forever, taking away and zip or poignancy that they might otherwise have.

Again, there’s some decent material buried within the episode. I love the character of Alexander. The actor gives a good performance, and there’s some real pathos to him, being made to think he is something lesser and subject to the whims of those around him. His desire not to become a god like the Platonians but just to be taken away from them, to be anything but them, is heart-rending. The show again lays it on too thick with his attempt on the Platonian leader and Kirk’s usual effort at speechifying at the end of the episode, but there is, as usual, the germ of something good.

There’s also the germ of something worthwhile in Bones having to choose between honoring Kirk’s wishes that he not give in to the Platonians demands and sparing his friends from their torture. The decision doesn’t carry the weight that it should because the “tortures” are all so miscalibrated, but it’s a legitimate idea.

It’s also really frustrating that the episode basically squanders getting Kirk and Spock to be able to sing and dance and do other goofy stuff. They could go really fun and bonkers with the whole thing (something the show’s done in prior “everyone’s acting funny for reasons beyond their control” episodes) but instead the results just feel like a bad local talent show. Nevermind the fact that the cast’s ability to successfully mime being pulled around via telekinesis varies widely throughout the episode.

The theme of “Plato’s Stepchildren” is clear -- even people supposedly devoted to classic philosophy and the mind can be corrupted by power -- Kirk and the Platonian leader basically announce as such at the end of the episode. But it’s a trite lesson, one Star Trek has hit several times before, and the buffoonery at the center and numerous, needless reaction shots all make “Plato” feel like a thirty minute story that left the producers stalling for time. There’s some good idea and good scenes, but for the most part, this one is a mess, and a plodding mess at that.

WTF did I just watch?

Whenever they beam down to a planet that again (AGAIN!) features classical Greek or Roman names, architecture, garments or - oh gosh! - ancient mythology or philosophy, my klaxon begins to ring. Plus: a dwarf. Before the title theme has even been played, I'm very angry and I expect the worst.

With every minute passing, it gets worse and worse: Kirk wrestling and choking a dwarf, a telepathic malfunction (?) making dishes fly, Caesar (?), actors impersonating the movement of marionettes, Kirk and Spock performing a dance (? What is that? That's worse than DS9's Allamaraine, count to four, - Allamaraine, then three more) and recite a play (?). That's note ven funny. I refuse to give more examples of the madness.

If you want to be [very, very, very!] generous there's a philosophical core to that: A society controlled by a telepathic system (?) and a philosopher emperor with a flawed definition of democracy. Unfortunately the (mind-control) system is malfunctioning and - if there's a higher being behind it all - this being is not as benevolent as you might expect in utopia. A utopia in which god-like people don't age, don't work, don't encounter illness, never get in an argument but in turn are very vulnerable to the malfunction of said system, to criticism in general, and in case of a medical emergency. There's even the issue how beautiful and powerful people treat people (namely the dwarf) that don't meet their expected standards.

If the writers ever had the idea to discuss issues along these lines, they failed miserably. But I guess that was never the point. They probably found the stage somewhere in a movie studio they could use free of charge. Then they decided to make the actors perform a profoundly silly and mad play, so that Nimoy, Kelley and Shatner can be shamed and ridiculed for this episode for years to come.

0.5 points for Uhura in Aphrodite's nighty. 0.5 points for Nimoy's singing voice. One point for historic significance of the interracial kissing scene (allegedly!). 2/10. And that's generous.