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Private Notes
Drew suffers a constant series of mishaps at work, from dumpsters blocking his parking space to broken chairs and a seemingly endless supply of faulty pencil points. He begins to suspect that someone is out to get him, but his friends feel that he is just paranoid. However, Chuck shows Drew a videotape in which three men sit around discussing how much they hate Drew, and all the things they have done to make him miserable for the last decade. The men indicate that they will pull their ultimate prank the next day. When they cannot be found at work, Drew evacuates the store. The men then show up, and Drew demands to know why they dislike him. One of them says that Drew caused him to lose his fiancée by getting jelly on his collar; she mistook it for lipstick and dumped him. Drew got the second man in trouble by repeating his insults about the boss when he was in earshot, and the third guy didn't like being reported for drinking at work. The guys decide that they are tired of hara
Drew entertains a group of investors from Vietnam who are considering opening a store in Hanoi. They have drinks at the Airport Ramada Inn. When the house band goes on break, Drew and the guys fulfill the investors' request for music by taking the stage for a song. The manager feels that they are better than the regular band and asks them to play for a week. Drew fears that this would be too much of a distraction and wants to focus on his new job. He changes his mind after a groupie hits on him in the parking lot. The guys audition guitar players, and hire a free-spirited guy named Ed. Kate becomes dissatisfied with her job and tries to get fired. Drew agrees to let her go, but promises to re-hire her if she can't find a better job in a week. She doesn't have any luck, but Drew backs out of the deal because he wants her to find the kind of happiness he now has with his band. Drew blows off a party at Mrs. Louder's house, and later skips work to fool around with Darcy. The ho
Drew lets Darcy dye his hair blonde and grows a goatee so that he will look more like a musician. Larry discovers that someone has been doing cocaine in the men's room at Winfred-Louder. Wick orders Drew and Mimi to collect specimens from every employee for drug testing. Drew does not like invading everyone's privacy. After the men accuse him of being a narc, he throws out all the samples. Wick orders him to give his own sample. Drew refuses and brings in a drug-sniffing dog. Wick becomes furious and fires him. Drew goes into Wick's office and discovers that Wick is the one who is on drugs. He helps him get into rehab. Oswald and Lewis become jealous of Drew's musical success and try to talk him into letting them back into the band. Mimi ends her relationship with Ron after she receives an unpleasant visit from his wife.
Mrs. Louder asks Drew to fill in as store manager while Mr. Wick is in rehab. He refuses, as he is having a great time with his band and doesn't want to deal with all the hassles of the job. Mrs. Louder reluctantly gives the job to Larry. A man approaches Drew and offers the Horndogs the chance to go on a tour of all the Ramadas in Ohio. He decides to accept the offer and quit his job. Kate doesn't think this is a good idea, as she ended up working as a ""booze wench"" at the Ramada after quitting Winfred-Louder. A plastered Wick shows up at Drew's show and says that he was kicked out of rehab because of a change in his health insurance. Drew discovers that Larry changed the employee coverage to an HMO so that he could spend $100,000 on a Jacobs Field skybox for Mrs. Louder. Drew is upset because he had fought hard to get good coverage for everyone. The employees plead with him to go through the budget and find some way to make up the lost money and get their health plan back.
Darcy breaks up with Drew after he admits that he is not a full-time musician. He starts spending a lot of time at his computer, and begins a steamy on-line affair with an anonymous woman. He becomes concerned after learning that his chat room girlfriend works at a department store and has a large collection of troll dolls. When he confirms that it is Mimi, Drew begins showering compulsively. He feels extremely awkward when he and Mimi run into each other while visiting Wick in rehab. Mimi does not realize that she was involved with Drew, and is angry that she hasn't heard from her online man for a while. Drew gets really drunk and writes her a kiss-off note in which he claims to be Bill Clinton. Meanwhile, Oswald grows concerned about his mother's financial status after her birthday check to him bounces. He learns that her business partner deserted her, and that she may lose her beauty salon and house. Oswald follows Lewis's advice and agrees to test breast implants for DrugC
Steve comes to the Warsaw while dressed in drag. A man mistakes him for a woman and tries to buy him a drink. He gets angry when he learns the truth about Steve, and insults him. Drew stands up for his brother. Steve's transvestite friends begin frequenting the Warsaw as a show of solidarity. They dance and play loud music all of the time. Drew, Lewis and Kate become annoyed when other customers begin staying away, as this makes it even harder for any of them to find a date. Drew suggests that the bar get the female customers back by holding a ladies' night with half-price drinks. Steve is outraged when the bartender only gives the discount to actual women, not the cross-dressers. Drew refuses to take his side. Steve accuses Drew of trying to force him out of the Warsaw because he is ashamed of him. Drew insists that he is actually upset because Steve is trying to take away his bar. He says that Steve has been stealing things that Drew liked since they were children. Steve
Mimi runs into Nicki at the store's bridal registry. Nicki has to race upstairs to try to keep Mimi from telling Drew about her wedding plans; she had wanted to share the news herself. He claims that he is happy for her. Drew is surprised when Nicki sends him a wedding invitation. Kate, Lewis and Oswald insist that it is only a courtesy invitation and try to discourage him from attending. They plan to stay away as well, but Drew urges them to go to the wedding. Oswald is really excited because the wedding is on a boat. Drew goes on a date with a video store clerk, but suddenly decides to take her to the wedding. Nicki's parents cannot believe that he had the nerve to show up. Drew makes a complete fool of himself while trying to prove how mature he is. He actually manages to give a toast that isn't totally humilating, but throws out his back while trying to show up the groom on the dance floor. As Drew waits for the helicopter to lift him off the boat to take him to the hosp
Drew must submit candidates for Winfred-Louder's employee of the year, who will win a trip to Hawaii. A legitimate employee may win for the first time in history, as all of the Louders have (apparently) already received the award. Mimi tricks Drew into including her name on the list. She attends sobriety events with Mr. Wick in the hopes of getting his vote. Oswald receives another $10,000 by posing for the DrugCo calendar before his implants are removed. He decides to use the money from his ""man boobs"" to repay his debts to his friends. Drew's car rolls down a hill and gets wrecked. Oswald and Kate decide that they should pool all of the money and buy Drew a VW Bug. Lewis doesn't want to cooperate, but has no choice because Oswald hadn't actually given him his money yet. Drew is touched, but elects to sell the car and use the money to help his friends. Kate, Lewis and Oswald take offense to his actions. Drew tries desperately to get the car back from Mimi. She will only ag
Drew pulls off an elaborate practical joke against Mimi and boasts that she will never be able to top it. A few days later, he wakes up to find himself on the Great Wall of China with no money or passport. Mimi has left a tape recording in his pocket in which she taunts him. Drew gets a ride into a small town, where a young woman who speaks English offers him shelter. She gets him a job helping her family sell chickens so that he can eventually afford bus fare to Beijing and go to the U.S. embassy. Kate, Lewis and Oswald grow concerned after they discover that Drew never made his scheduled business trip to Winnipeg. Mimi brags about sending Drew to China. She explains that she had her father's secretary drug Drew and put him on a courier flight. The gang has no idea what to do to help him. Ming finally agrees to drive Drew to Beijing, but the embassy is closed for Thanksgiving. He tries to make enough money to get himself a hotel room by putting on a sock puppet show, but onl
A flashback show that features clips of some of the series' music-video segments.
After Kate loses another job, Drew suggests that she contact his neighbors about a paid housesitting gig. She meets Scott, a handsome plumber working on the house, and they become attracted to each other. The couple's two children are supposed to stay with a babysitter while their parents are away, but the woman has to leave town because of a family emergency. She leaves the kids with Kate. Scott offers to help her out, and the foursome begins acting like a family. Kate gets a little too caught up in the charade, and freaks out when Scott decides to go out with his buddies instead of staying over with her. She leaves the kids with Drew and tries to win him back, but Scott has tired of the situation and dumps her. Kate becomes depressed when the Fosters return early and reclaim their kids. Drew takes up swimming in the hopes of impressing avid swimmer Sharon, but only ends up with an ear infection. Sharon still refuses to date him. Mimi worries about how Drew will get his reven
Drew decides to take night school classes to pursue a master's degree after a young man he was mentoring suddenly receives an executive position at Winfred-Louder. When his statistics professor recommends that the students find study partners, Drew pairs with Celia, a 62-year-old woman who is the only other ""old person"" in the class. They have a good time hanging out at Drew's house after a study session, and soon realize that they are attracted to each other. Celia stays the night, although they do not have sex. Drew's friends mock him after learning of the age difference, but he insists that he really likes Celia. He is puzzled when Celia ignores him in class and says that she doesn't want to see him anymore. Drew shows up at her favorite bingo parlor, and Celia explains that she dumped him because she thought he would eventually become embarrassed by her. Drew proves himself by taking over for the bingo caller and publicly announcing his feelings. Celia agrees to date him.
Drew's parents arrive unexpectedly for Christmas. They assume that Celia is his maid, and he is reluctant to reveal the true nature of their relationship. Celia's son, Chip, shows up at her house in the middle of the night. He has come to visit for the holidays. When Drew comes downstairs in Celia's bathrobe and tries to make conversation, Chip punches him in the face. Drew's parents are horrified when he finally tells them that he and Celia are dating. Celia and Chip come over to Drew's house to have dinner with Drew's parents and Steve. It proves to be a disaster. Meanwhile, Lewis and Oswald agree to help Mimi with door-to-door Christmas tree sales after she fires an associate. Kate comes along to help supervise the guys. They make very few sales (aside from Wick buying two trees to get them to go away), and accumulate several fines.
A corporation tries to convince everyone in Drew's neighborhood to sell their houses to make way for a new mall. Drew is reluctant, but agrees to think it over. Mrs. Louder reveals that Winfred-Louder is behind the project. She and Mr. Wick try to sweet-talk Drew to get him to sell. He is interested in moving to lakefront property, but does not want to give up his family home. Mimi suggests that Winfred-Louder move the entire house, and Mrs. Louder agrees. Mimi later tells Drew that she has accessed Wick's E-mail and learned that the house will not be moved to the lake. Drew goes home and discovers that half of his house has been taken away, a week earlier than scheduled. Mrs. Louder and Wick claim that Drew's house was rejected by the lakeside property owners' association. They offer him another lot, which he accepts. Oswald, Kate and Lewis lodge a protest against the homeowners association, only to learn that Winfred-Louder never bought a lot in the area or submitted Drew's
Celia returns from an out-of-town trip and learns about Drew's fight with Winfred-Louder. She offers her support. The store recruits Mimi to try to drive Drew out of the house. She points blinding lights at the house and constantly blasts ""Panama"" by Van Halen. Larry and Chuck later tell Drew that Winfred-Louder's investors gave up and backed out of the mall project. The store decides to rent all of the houses it had purchased to employees. After learning that Mimi continued to torment him for days after he had already won the battle, Drew gets revenge by tricking her into sending her outfits to a fake dry cleaner, who ruins them. Drew asks Celia to move in with him. Lewis, Oswald and Kate become creeped out by Drew's relationship with Celia, as they feel that they are acting like mother and son. The store's contractor reassembles Drew's house in an improper fashion, causing the kitchen to slope. Wick refuses to pay for the repairs, so Drew has to contact a lawyer. Drew and
The Warsaw must temporarily close after it is taken over by super-intelligent rats from DrugCo, which escaped from a cage in Lewis's apartment. In order to keep Buzz Beer afloat in the meantime, the gang asks a popular pro wrestler to serve as spokesman. The company begins making a profit for the first time. Kate begins dating The Disciplinarian, much to Drew's chagrin. They get into an argument after Drew notes that all of her relationships end in disaster. The Disciplinarian, once devoted to his fitness routine, starts getting drunk all the time and missing public appearances. Drew warns Kate to cut him loose, while she feels that the gang is working him too hard. Kate nearly ruins The Disciplinarian's career when she takes him to Atlantic City, where he loses $20,000 and winds up naked in a fountain. He breaks up with her and denounces Buzz Beer. However, his comments actually lead to more business, as everyone wants to try the beer that could ""kick The Disciplinarian's ass
Lewis meets a woman at a Babylon 5 convention and gets a date with her. Oswald gets a date with the same woman, Tracy, when he delivers a package to her house. It is an ice cream maker from Lewis, but Oswald doesn't know this because Lewis wrote his name and address in an alien language from Babylon 5. Drew meets Tracy when she complains to him about the store's reluctance to exchange the broken ice cream maker. He also gets a date with her. The guys are excited to have found possible girlfriends, and have no idea that they are dating the same woman. They seek advice from Kate on how to make a first date special. They follow her suggestions a little too literally and freak out Tracy by each following the same routine (paying everyone at the Warsaw to yell out his name when he enters, pulling out a pocket watch, and singing the Commodores' ""Three Times a Lady""). The guys finally run into each other during Drew's date and realize what has happened. Tracy is mortified. Drew late
Drew has trouble getting another date with Tracy because Lewis and Oswald are keeping her booked. He meets one of Winfred-Louder's catalog models, who complains that she and her model friends haven't been invited to any parties while in Cleveland. Drew follows Kate's suggestion by organizing a slumber party at his house for the models. Drew plans to sneak out for a date with Tracy during the party. Unfortunately, a blizzard keeps the models away and prevents Drew from going on the date. Lewis and Oswald learn of his plans and vow revenge. They suggest that the guys at the party learn swing dancing to impress the ladies, and proceed to injure Drew as many times as possible. They decide to set aside all rules or attempts to act gentlemanly as they pursue Tracy. Mimi holds a women in business seminar, where Kate sucks up to Mrs. Louder to get her job back. Steve also attends, explaining that the fact that he dresses as a woman means that he faces the same disadvantages as women i
The guys vie for the right to take Tracy to a wedding. The winner will officially be in a relationship with her, as he would have to travel out of town with her and meet her family. Sports broadcasters Bob Costas, Lynn Swann and Kenny Mayne provide a running commentary during the competition. Drew and Oswald separately slip Lewis strawberries and put fish oil in the wine in order to trigger his allergies during a dinner date with Tracy. The combined effects cause his face to puff up. He requires medical attention, and Tracy freaks out. Drew feels guilty and suggests that he and Oswald sabotage their own chances with Tracy so that Lewis can get the girl for a change. Oswald agrees, and makes himself look bad by parking in a handicapped space. Drew does not go along with the bargain, and Tracy rejects Oswald. Oswald and Lewis are furious at Drew for stabbing them in the back. Drew rigs a fortune telling machine at the Warsaw to say bad things about him, and blames it on Lewis.
Drew's dog Speedy disappears from DrugCo while taking part in clinical trials for a new canine medication, so the gang breaks into the facility to find him.
Drew's shocked to find his cross-dressing brother sampling Mimi's lipstick--while it's still on her lips.
Drew suspects that his mother and his barber may have carried on a long-term affair.
Drew's dream comes true when he starts seeing a woman who doesn't want to date him but does want to sleep with him.
Drew is the butt of all jokes at a convention after security finds a naughty little something hidden in his luggage.
Drew and Mimi strike gold--and become secret allies--after they pair up to hustle bowlers in their spare time. But the winning streak fades when one of them says three dreaded words.
Oswald's mom is floored when Sharon's roof job on her salon blows off during a storm. Meanwhile, Kate sings the blues after voicing her disdain for Mrs. Louder.
The store's Dutch owner draws Drew into his plans to demolish Winfred-Louder to build a parking garage.
