Personal Lists featuring...

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot 2019

1

All comedy movies, no BS sub genres.

6

christmas movies/tv shows

46

Feature films directed by Kevin Smith.

7

Trippy, Absurd, or Excessively Over The Top

6

All Feature Films in Kevin Smith's View Askew Universe including upcoming projects as found in the Wikipedia entry: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/View_Askewniverse

3

HollyWood Movies based on Popularity

23

Just the good ones... no Jersey Girl type shit

30

Maybe it’s the impending return of the Jedi, but we here at The A.V. Club believe in balance. Without dark, there can be no light—you know, that sort of thing, except applied to the varying quality of the new films hitting theaters or streaming platforms over a given 12 months. The good news is that the good movies of 2019 were very good indeed; in a few days, we’ll offer our annual ranking of favorites, which ran deep on the cusp of the new decade. The bad news is that the industry, to apparently tip those karmic scales back into alignment, didn’t skimp on bad movies, either. In fact, that’s the whole focus of the list below: a dire rundown of all that really irked us over the year, from lazy studio comedies to pointless remakes of ’90s hits to woeful star vehicles for the stars of Face/Off. We accept these abominations as the price to pay for the triumphs, taking extra consolation in the opportunity to dunk on them. Of course, not every film cited is universally loathed by our contributors. Some may even have their fans, outvoted but acknowledged. That’s balance, too.

2

Jay and Silent Bob flix

19

Woody Woodpecker. Dora the Explorer. Angry Birds (best video game movie ever). Rivers of penguins. Giant, fluffy puppies. Baboons in space. Shazam flosses. Hulk dabs. Emperor Nero raps. People and Pokémon merged. People and cats fused. Aliens smoking the damndest things. Hayley Bennett pooping the DAMNDEST things. Zombies like coffee. Zombies like cabbage. Dildo blade. Death by horse. The rich explode. Lesbian painter. Lesbian vampire painter. Jay and Silent Bob. Good Burger in 35mm. Space Jam in 35mm. Polynesian Jew Hitler. Adam Sandler’s colon. Eldritch alpacas. Huge vagina. Talking dogs standing up to gentrification. Todd Phillips for Best Director. CGI Will Smith in 120 FPS. CGI Will Smith in a pigeon’s body. Gay anime. Straight Frozen. Adam Driver double bill. Two popes. In this economy? Makoto Shinkai drew a cat. In THIS economy? Danny DeVito is Awkwafina. Danny Glover is a horse. Rian Johnson wins. Star Wars loses. Rian Johnson next to me. Céline Sciamma in front of me. Bong Joon-ho, in my presence, in a scarf! Oh, and so much horrible crud has been happening in real life, Disney owns everything and Britain, not to mention the free internet, are damned for eternity. You in the US of A should feel lucky your president is going to prison but as for us, there’s nothing left for us to do. There’s just no hope left. Boomers win.

And if all of that didn’t sound wild enough, I discovered I’m trans.

Hail Satan, amirite

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