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Things 1989

  • Andrew Jordan
  • September 1, 1989
  • 83 mins
  • English
  • Horror
Conceived by a lunatic, hatched within a human womb...
THINGS is a 1989 low budget independent feature length B-movie grade horror exploitation film written and produced by Andrew Jordan & Barry J. Gillis. Marking the 1989 mainstream film debut of porn star Amber Lynn, the film has a cult following of fans who call themselves "Things-ites".

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So this is... uhh... this is a thing alright. It has been a little while since I watched it, but I have a pretty good memory of how terrible it really is. I mean, if you're rating a terrible movie on a scale of how terrible it is, this gets a 10 out of 5. I think I'd rather watch a high schooler's movie they made on a VHS camera.

Frankly, it might be the worst thing I've ever seen. For about 30-45 minutes it is so bad that it is fun to watch with a group. But after that it gets a little depressing that someone did this with their life.

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