They were the glamour girls on James Bond's arm, the vestal virgins in Up Pompeii, and the girls-next-door in Man About The House. They were the vampire victims dispatched in the first reel of Hammer Horrors. And they were the Carry On dolly birds, guaranteed to elicit a 'Phwooar' from Sid James. They were Crumpet! And this is their story. Tony Livesey sets out to rescue Crumpet from the condescension of history. Recalling his own childhood, growing up in front of the TV in a Burnley terrace, Tony takes us on a trip through three decades of popular culture. How did our thirty year fascination with Crumpet come about - and why did it end? What does it say about the unique British sense of humour - and about our changing attitude to sex? With contributions from Honor Blackman, Ingrid Pitt, Madeline Smith, Hill's Angel Sue Upton, Leslie Philips and Wendy Richards, and with cultural commentators like Dylan Jones, Germaine Greer and Ned Sherrin, Tony gets to the bottom of this uniquely British phenomenon.