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Private Notes
Beetlejuice needs some cash to buy Lydia a present so when she gets a job baby-sitting, he follows suit. But Neitherworld babies are a bit more of a handful than Outerworld ones, and Beetlejuice gets dragged before Judge Mental for a long string of offences. Can Lydia keep him from getting thrown to the Sandworms?
It's Beetlejuice and Lydia versus the reigning King and Queen of Gross on a popular Neitherworld TV show. Do our heroes have any chance of winning the big gross-off with Beetlejuice feeling below par?
The skeletons in Beetlejuice's closet have accumulated so much over the years that the closet finally bursts. The skeletons drift astray, telling people the truths Beetlejuice had always hidden from them.
Lydia is getting ready for the big photo show, but she can't decide which of her pictures is the best. Beetlejuice loves all of her work, and decides he wants to buy whichever photo she picks--but he doesn't have any money. (Un)fortunately, the Deetzes kitchen sink has sprung a leak, so Beetlejuice hatches a plan to pose as a handyman, fix the leak, and make a quick buck. But his Neitherworld tools won't stand for being used.
Beetlejuice and Lydia have a fight, and Lydia banishes the ghost to the Neitherworld. Beetlejuice foolishly makes the comment that he can't get Lydia out of his mind, and accidentally teleports her there. Lydia meets up with Beetlejuice's wimpy Will Power and overbearing Prank Factor--can she convince Will to stand up to Prankenstein? And how will she ever get out of Beetlejuice's head?
Miss Shannon's school is putting on Romeo and Juliet, and Lydia tries out for the part of Juliet. But Clare wants it too and sabotages Lydia's audition. For revenge, Lydia becomes the costume designer and designs a costume she knows Clare will hate-but Beetlejuice's got other plans for revenge.
Lydia's favourite tree, Spooky, is slated to be cut down so the road can be widened. Beetlejuice, in a fit of generosity, grants Spooky with the gift of locomotion, allowing the tree to run rampant through the town. Finally, kind-hearted Spooky is replanted somewhere he can be really happy.
Beetlejuice's neighbours kick him out, so he tries to be a 'good neighbour.' But unfortunately, Beetlejuice's idea of a good neighbour isn't quite the same one his friends have. It looks like Beetlejuice is out of a place to stay-until he proves to the others that there is one thing that he's good for.
Beetlejuice (disguised as Betty Juice), Lydia, Bertha and Prudence go camping in the Neitherwoods. Bertha and Prudence have never been camping and Beetlejuice is sure that they're just a couple of lost cases-until Bertha and Prudence convince him otherwise.
Miss Shannon teams up Lydia and Clare to run this year's haunted house at the bazaar. Lydia's got some good and scary ideas, but Clare's got other plans...Not to worry, because Beetlejuice's got some plans of his own.
Beetlejuice says he deserves a 'pat on the back' and he gets one, in the form of a weird little guy with an Irishoid accent who actually grows out of his back. Pat then proceeds to get Beetlejuice in a lot of trouble with the Mayor, and only Lydia has the insight to help him out of it.
Beetlejuice (disguised as Betty Juice), Lydia, Bertha and Prudence go camping in the Neitherwoods. Bertha and Prudence have never been camping and Beetlejuice is sure that they're just a couple of lost cases-until Bertha and Prudence convince him otherwise.
Beetlejuice's head is kidnapped by headhunters.
Lydia's Aunt Zapora and Uncle Danport (Delia's family) and Aunt May and Uncle Clyde (Charles' family) come for a visit. To liven things up, Beetlejuice poses as ""Cousin B.J."", and boy, does he liven things up!
Yes, you guessed it: Lydia and Beetlejuice go to see the latter's parents. His mother is a neat freak and his father is a workaholic-just how far from the tree did Beetlejuice fall?
Beetlejuice and Lydia decide that it's time for them to have a car of their own, so they rebuild a salvaged one they find in a Neitherworld wrecking yard. But BJ delivers Lydia an abnormal carburetor for installation and although the car they create looks normal at first, it soon becomes evident that he's abnormal.
It's Scary Fool's Day in the Neitherworld and Beetlejuice and Lydia are trying to outdo each other.
Beetlejuice, Lydia and Doomie enter the Neitherworld Groan Prix, where they face possible defeat by Scuzzo and Fuzzo.
Lydia's parents want to go on a vacation, so Beetlejuice, posing as Mr. Beetleman, offers his services as a tour guide in the Neitherworld so that he and Lydia can spend the summer together.
It's Halloween again, and Lydia is spending the night in the Neitherworld. Unfortunately, Percy tags along and gets catnapped by a witch and taken to the Witches' Ball. Beetlejuice and Lydia must masquerade as witches to sneak in and get Percy back.
Beetlejuice invents a cologne that changes the personality of anyone it comes in contact with into its polar opposite. When Lydia gets sprayed with it, she becomes a wild, prank-pulling criminal and, taking Beetlejuice along for the ride, wreaks more havoc on the Neitherworld than BJ's ever been responsible for.
Betty Juice runs for class president against Claire as Lydia watches helplessly. Both campaigns are hopelessly overdone. Will either of them get any votes?
When Beetlejuice blows up the Monster Across the Street's house, he is obligated to take the Monster and Poopsie in (or Jacques and Ginger will rat him out). Desperate to rid himself of his unwanted roommates, BJ even tries rebuilding the Monster's house for him -- only to find out that the Monster likes the Roadhouse! What will BJ do?
When Doomie disappears BJ becomes the famed Neitherworld detective Sherlock Homely in order to track him down.
Beetlejuice hosts a morbid Pee-wee's Playhouse-esque children's show.
Beetlejuice takes a job as a scarecrow at a beetle farm.
When Lydia is too busy to spend time with Charles, Beetlejuice (seeing a scam) steps in as Cousin BJ and cons Charles into spending time with (and money on) him.
When Beetlejuice is collared while in dog form, he gets stuck that way. Lydia calls him to the Outerworld where Delia promptly adopts him as the dog she always wanted.
When BJ's License To Drive People Crazy is revoked, he finds out that it's because he never finished kindergarten. He goes back, but can he pass the Final Final?
Doomie falls in love with the Mayor's pink car (which Doomie dubs 'Pinky'). The down side is, Pinky isn't alive like Doomie. Besides that, both Beetlejuice and Mayor Maynot are adamantly against the relationship. How can this story possibly have a happy ending?
Delia holds a seance and summons Lydia's favourite (deceased) actor, Boris To Death. Although Lydia is thrilled by the visit, BJ is less than ecstatic. But when Boris reveals his evil plan to kick the Deetzes out of their home, Lydia has to change her opinion, and quick.
When Beetlejuice gets split while in amoebae form, Lydia suddenly finds herself in double the weirdness as usual. And it just goes to prove that noone can get along with Beetlejuice--not even himself.
Prince Vince wishes that his subjects would love him, so he decides to be a rock and roll star. But his music is so depressing everyone would hate it--in order to spare his feelings, Lydia tells him his music is wonderful. The bad effect of this is, now Prince Vince is on perpetual tour. With the entire Neitherworld depressed beyond hope, it may be time for Lydia to tell Vince the truth.
Beetlejuice wins a whole lot of money -under one stipulation: he can't juice anyone or the cash gets revoked. The situation is embraced warmly by the Neitherworld's stinking rich (who stink in more ways than BJ does).
It's the Battle Of the Bands: Lydia's band, The Brides of Funkenstein, and Clare's band, The Clarenettes. Which band will get to perform at the annual girl's/boy's school mixer?
The Deetzes get new neighbours, and the new kid on the block, Ramon, wants to be just like Mr. Beetleman. But its a lot harder to get out of trouble after grossing people out when you don't have magic, so Lydia is forced to instruct Beetlejuice to "de-Beetlejuice" Ramon.
Lydia heads off to her Aunt May and Uncle Clyde's farm, and Beetlejuice tags along as Mr. Beetleman. But with all the work May and Clyde give Beetlejuice, how will he ever have any fun--and come to think of it, how will Lydia?
Beetlejuice gets a bunch of famous dead historical figures to appear on Neitherworld TV.
Jacques tries to achieve his afterlife-long dream of becoming Mr. Neitherworld, with one obstacle: namely, Armhold Musclehugger, the current reigning King of Fitness. How can someone with no muscles possibly compete with someone built like a Greek god?
Beetlejuice's feet decide they aren't being treated right and strike out on their own. BJ must find them before they get themselves in trouble.
It's BJ and Lydia's Frankenburgers vs. Scuzzo's Clown Burgers in the biggest fast-food-fight of the century.
Beetlejuice gets tired of Doomie's tendency to be nice, so he builds a new vehicle: Road Hawg, the meanest chopper around, but Doomie's the only one who can save BJ from Road Hawg's vicious new gang.
Delia's art is a flop in Peaceful Pines, so Delia and BJ decide to take her to a Neitherworld art colony, where her art will be truly appreciated. But with the good comes the bad!
When BJ's new, rich neighbours move in, Beetlejuice goes out and gets himself a Monster Charge Card so he can have a bigger house and more stuff. But when the repo men arrive, BJ has to make a tough choice.
BJ's got Scuzzo's brain, Scuzzo's got no brain, and BJ's brain is out to rule the Neitherworld. Get it?
Lydia is stuck competing against Clare in her school's golf P.E. course (hey, it's a private school, after all), and Clare just happens to be the reigning teen golf champ of Peaceful Pines. In an attempt to help Lydia out, BJ teleports Clare to a Neitherworld country club, where she is turned into a golf trophy. Now Beetlejuice and Lydia have to win the golf tournament and get Clare back.
Beetlejuice says the wrong thing and gets his head put onto the Monster's body--now the Monster's got two heads, and BJ's body is left to wander.
Coincidentally on the very same day Lydia has doubts about her own beauty, the great beast Thing Thong, who steals beautiful things because he feels he is himself ugly, kidnaps her. While Lydia helps Thong find confidence in himself, Beetlejuice tries to 'save' her in the guise of the famed adventurer Grimdiana Bones.
When Lydia joins the Happy-Faced Girls, Beetlejuice laughs--until he finds out how much money a cookie drive can pull in. He rushes back to the Neitherworld where he assembles the Sappy-Face Ghouls and gives them some of his homemade cookies to sell in Peaceful Pines. Too bad the cookies are haunted!
Edgar Allen Poe comes to BJ's Roadhouse in search of his lost Lenore. This is followed by a series of nightmares Beetlejuice experiences that are loosely based on Poe's works.
A Sam Spade spoof featuring two ears cut off from a family fortune.
Beetlejuice's sophisticated skeleton escapes from his skin and runs off. Lydia, Jacques, and BJ's skin must recapture Beetlebones--before the Skeleton Crew does.
When BJ finds out about the Save-The-Whales Telethon Lydia is involved in, he gets an idea: hold his own telethon and make a fortune! So he holds a Save-The-Smells Telethon to do just that--until he actually, truly, begins to believe in his cause. Who would have thought? Apparently nobody, because when the telethon money mysteriously disappears, Public Opinion rises squarely against Beetlejuice.
Beetlejuice wants to enter the First Neitherworld Beauty Pageant (the prize is a Ton O' Cash), but is turned down because he's a man. Determined to win the prize, BJ launches a ""Men Are Beautiful Too"" campaign, closely followed by a ""Disgusting Is Beautiful Too"" campaign. Finally, the pageant is opened to everybody. But if everybody is in the pageant, who's left to even watch it?
When the Happy Face Girls' outing is called on account of rain, BJ (as Denmother MacCree) takes them to Grislyland, the Neitherworld's newest theme park. But Grislyland's patron cartoon character, Bartholomew Batt, is out for more than a profitable enterprise...Why? Because he's a typical cartoon villain, that's why!
BJ, Lydia, and Doomie accidentally tumble into Brinkadoom, a cursed village which disappears for an eternity as soon as all its inhabitants fall asleep. Can they find their way out before that happens?
When a beautiful Scandinavian exchange student arrives at Miss Shannon's school, Clare thinks she will burst with envy--until she relieves her fury by embarrassing the exchange student in front of everybody. To get even, Lydia and BJ send Clare to be an exchange student herself--in the Neitherworld.
BJ's parents want to join the Society for the Oldest and Moldiest Families of the Neitherworld, but they need the Juice family coat of arms to prove their lineage. Unfortunately, the coat is somewhere in BJ's room, which hasn't been cleaned in, well...apparently it hasn't been cleaned.
Lydia is to MC at her school's talent night, but she's afraid she isn't funny enough. So--BJ lends her his funny bone. But what's Beetlejuice without a funny bone??
Charles really needs a weekend to relax, so Mr. Beetleman takes the Deetzes to Hotel Hello in the Neitherworld. But with Charles stressing out over every little thing, not to mention a vampire after Delia's neck, what kind of vacation will it turn out to be?
It's 'Good Neighbor Day' in the Neitherworld, when being nice is a law. Of course, BJ won't stand for it, and causes trouble...which lures in Goody Two Shoes, a Fairy from the Bureau of Sweetness and Prissiness (BSnP). With a wave of her wand, Goody turns everyone into denizens of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood--what a fate!
A video game called Scourge sucks Lydia and Beetlejuice into cyberspace, and they must outsmart the computer if they ever hope to escape.
Beetlejuice wins two tickets for an ocean cruise (illegally, I might add), and takes Lydia on a very...odd...vacation on the high seas.
A leftover chicken in BJ's fridge turns undead and haunts the Roadhouse in the form of the most dreaded of all spectres--a Poultrygeist! Can Beetlejuice and Lydia banish it before sleep deprivation claims BJ's last remaining shreds of sanity?
Yes, you've guessed it: Beetlejuice has an off day and wishes he had never met any of his friends. Clarence Sale shows up and shows him what the Neitherworld--and the real world--would be like without him. Seeing Lydia miserable and friendless convinces BJ to change his mind, and Clarence is rewarded for his trouble with a shiny new car.
Beetlejuice publishes his auto-dieography and is heralded as one of the finest authors of all time. But the lies he tells about his friends in the book come back to haunt him, big time.
After spending all day curing Lydia of her measles, Beetlejuice gets Cabin Fever--and then is quarantined to the Roadhouse. How can Lydia help BJ get over Cabin Fever if they can't go outside? They'll think of something!
While flipping through Beetlejuice's high school yearbook, Lydia is astounded to discover that her best friend was none other than Prom King! She presses BJ for the story, and he tells it--and it is one doozy of a tale.
Beetlejuice recruits Lydia to coach Team BJ in the Neitherworld All-Ghoul Games. But the team is hopeless and the opposition is fierce--Can Lydia motivate her friends enough to even dream of winning, especially Beetlejuice, who's devoted all his time to product endorsements?
When Mayor Maynot threatens to tear down the Roadhouse to make room for a new superhighway, Beetlejuice runs for office--and wins. But it is soon apparent that BJ is an even more corrupt mayor than the last one, and it's up to his friends to get him de-elected before he gets too out of hand.
It's the anniversary of the day BJ and Lydia met, and BJ presents Lydia with a watch. But time flies, and Beetlejuice and Lydia follow the escaped watch through the Sands Of Time, where they meet Grandfather Time. BJ gives the poor old geezer a cog-attack, thoroughly messing up the flow of Time. They must get Time restarted or nothing will be the same again.
Lydia has to write a paper on Shakespeare for her English class, but can't understand his plays. So BJ takes her to the Neitherworld to meet Shakey's characters, who turn out to be rather disgruntled with their roles. When they kidnap Lydia and try to force her to rewrite their plays, BJ must rescue her; then it's up to the both of them to cure Shakespeare of his monumental writer's block.
Beetlejuice becomes the Neitherworld's grossest movie star, and finds that fame isn't all it's cracked up to be. Lydia then has to help him back into poverty by ""cleaning up his act.""
Oh, horrors! Beetlejuice's perfect brother Donnyjuice comes to visit, leaving BJ feeling...a bit down and out. Down-And-Outback, actually. Donny and Lydia set out to cheer Beetlejuice up before he does something drastic.
Its Pranksgiving in the Neitherworld, and Beetlejuice's rival Pondscum (""Pondscum...Germs Pondscum"") looks as if he's going to beat out BJ for the title of Grand High Prankster. Pondscum proves himself to be lower than a Sandworm's belly when he frames BJ for a crime he didn't commit and gets him sentenced to rehabilitation in NeitherNeitherLand. (Have you seen NeitherNeitherLand? Shudder.) Beetlejuice comes out of the ordeal as Snugglejuice, the Cutest Being in the Neitherworld. Can Lydia reverse the process (and help BJ win the Prank Tournament)?
When Beetlejuice and Lydia pull a scam, Lydia gets sentenced to washing dishes at The Last Resort Resort on the River Schticks. Beetlejuice, haunted by memories of his Uncle Sid and Aunt Irma, who used to take him to the Last Resort Resort when he was a baby, rushes to Lydia's rescue. Can they survive the awful jokes that abound everywhere on the River Schticks?
Lydia's Caesar salad comes to life and attempts to take over the Neitherworld with his legion of surly vegetables. Can BJ and Lydia usurp Caesar and get the rightful rulers of Aroma back on the throne?
Lydia makes a (foolish) wish that Beetlejuice could teach her class for a day, and he grants it. He takes Lydia, Claire, Bertha and Prudence on a trip to ""Historyland"" in the Neitherworld, where they learn a bit more than history--like never trust a professor in a striped suit.
The Monster and Monstress have a falling-out, and Beetlejuice takes advantage of the situation by spinning their misery off into a highly rated TV program.
Beetlejuice inherits his Auntie Em's milk farm, located in the Wild West. But the infamous outlaw Jesse Germs has been threatening the locals--can BJ and Lydia thwart his insidious plan to scare everyone off the land?
Beetlejuice and Lydia put on 'Disasterpiece Theatre,' and decide to do Moby Dick as their first episode. But Moby ""Richard"" refuses to change the classic to suit Beetlejuice's notions of what a classic should be, and quits--but not without insulting BJ first. BJ lets the character of Captain Ahab take him over, and leads the others on a dangerous mission through Sandworm Land to get revenge on the whale.
It's BJ's team against Scuzzo's team in the baseball event of the century! But after a few...uh...setbacks, that becomes BJ and Lydia, all alone, against Scuzzo's entire team. It's Sudden Death for the losers--and who will those losers be?
Beetlejuice loses his memory (he's beaned by a satellite), so Lydia takes him to see Dr. Zigmund Void. Void splits BJ's personality, and takes the clone and Lydia within BJ's body by way of a shrinking submersible. They have to find out what is causing BJ's inability to access his memory banks before time runs out and they return to normal size.
Scuzzo frames Beetlejuice for stealing bad jokes, and gets him sent to The Big House. It's up to Lydia to gather up the evidence she needs to spring Beetlejuice--and then to get the Governor to listen to her story. Meanwhile, BJ copes with afterlife under the disturbingly nurturing watch of Warden June Cleaver.
Lydia trips on Beetlejuice's misplaced marbles and sprains her ankle, so BJ takes her to a Neitherworld hospital for treatment. But a greedy resident doctor is looking to make a quick buck and kidnaps Lydia with the intention of charging admission to the public to witness a 'total body transplant'--with BJ as the surgeon!
Beetlejuice tries to cash in on the superhero trend sweeping the Neitherworld by becoming...UltraBeetleMan! With Lydia as his cub reporter sidekick, UBM sets out to thwart crime. Uh...If only there was any. Suddenly, Mt. Gushmore, Scumdon Bridge, The Fallen Arches of Triumph, the Awful Tower--and Lydia--are shrunk by four menacing business tycoons (""Honey, I Shrunk the Lyds""). Can UBM save the day?
Lydia treats her grandmother as if she's too old to do anything, and Grandma gets sick of it. With the help of Beetlejuice (disguised as Mr. Beetleman's father Grandpa Beetleman), Grandma Deetz takes all the other disgruntled inhabitants of the old folk's home on a wild tour of the Neitherworld.
Beetlejuice is threatened into telling the Sappy-Faced Ghouls a fairy tale, and they don't want to hear one they already know. But they know them all! BJ finally resorts to inventing a story on the spot, featuring himself, Lydia, Flubbo, and other Neitherworld characters.
Yes, this is a Wizard Of Oz spoof. Lydia is Dorothy, BJ is the Scarecrow, Jacques is the Bone Woodsman, the Monster is the Lion, and Ginger is Toto. But you'll never guess who's the Wizard!
Mr. Monitor cancels Beetlejuice's show, and while Lydia gets her own children's show (which she hates), BJ goes to work in the mailroom. He quickly takes the opportunity to steal a colleague's show ideas and is rapidly promoted to Mr. Monitor's supervisor. But how long can it last?
Beetlejuice gets pulled into The Chromazone, a Twilight Zone spoof. There, BJ has to help Tod Sperling defeat Ima Loony, one of his creations who has begun writing her own scripts. But BJ loses his mind (literally) in the process. If Lydia can't get into the Chromozone in time, BJ will be brainless forever, not to mention vapid.
When Captain Kidder washes up on the beach babbling of a 90-ft-tall, singing, dancing ape on a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, chaos breaks out. Between BJ and Lydia, Jacques and Ginger, The Monster and Poopsie, The Mayor and Mrs. Bugsly, Chester Slime and Armhold Musclehugger, and Scuzzo and Fuzzo, who will reach the island--and the valuable ape--first?
Four of Beetlejuice's worst enemies--and LipScum--are organized together by a mysterious gangster named Mr. Big who's got BJ's number. His plan: trick BJ into separating his body parts and be unable to reunite them, until sundown does its dirty work (in case you didn't know, not only does BJ lose all his powers if he's fallen apart, but if he's not all back together by sundown, he's as good as exorcised. (Obviously a rule they made up just for this ep but I like it anyway.) Naturally, Mr. Monitor is on the scene to gather ratings.
BJ and Doomie are caught distributing phony driver's licenses and sent to traffic school. But BJ's got a plan to escape, and winds up as...a hero?
Yes, Beetlejuice moves to Sherweird Forest and attempts to steal from the rich and...what was that other part again? Oh well. But then the Sheriff of RottingHam kidnaps Lydia and he must rescue her from Prince John DonJuan, the Sherweird Florist, before she crumbles under his bad puns.
Donnyjuice is a wanted man with a huge price on his head--which makes for a perfect opportunity for Beetlejuice to get a little 'closer' to his brother (with the aid of handcuffs, of course). But BJ isn't the only reward-seeker on the scene: he must contend with Deader Alive, the famous bounty hunter from Neitherworld TV.
BJ is bitten by the gold bug (yes, literally), and contracts the dreaded Gold Fever. He must find some gold or he'll never get well. But a claim jumper has his eye on BJ's prospect...Can Lydia, Jacques and Doomie save him?
Beetlejuice inadvertently turns some ants into his Aunts--Auntie Pasto, Auntie Social, Auntie Septic, and Honey Aunt. The Aunts promptly begin getting Beetlejuice and Lydia into trouble (more than usual, anyway). If BJ can't get rid of them pronto, his landlord will throw him out.
Beetlejuice and Lydia go to visit Merlin and discover that the great magician is plotting to overthrow the King. But when BJ pulls the Board from the Bone, he becomes the new King, and Merlin summons the dreaded B.O. Wolf to wipe him out. It's a middle-age crisis for BJ.
A black cat burglar makes off with BJ's tongue and takes it to Catmandu. BJ, after 'borrowing' the Monster's tongue, joins the Forlorn Legion with Jacques to storm Catmandu and get his stolen property back.
To get out of housework, BJ passes the time away telling Lydia about the time he and Jacques journeyed to the centre of the Neitherworld to rescue Vern Jewels, who was being held prisoner by Captain Nemo (who wanted to be rewritten into a hero role).
Beetlejuice does the Mayor of Peaceful Pines a favour, but the Mayor reigns on his promise of a cash reward. So Beetlejuice, in a fit of anger, splits his personality into his good and his bad sides, and the bad side wreaks havoc on the town. Lydia and the good side are forced to fetch Dr. Zigmund Void to help remedy the situation.
