7x03 A Town Called Mercy

This wild west episode was quite a fun episode.

I liked the discussions of morality between the doctor and the kahler, but i would have liked the doctor to talk about his own experiences.

The cyborg character isn't particularly deep and doesn't have much dialogue.

I would like to talk about the doctor for a bit, like when he almost gave kahler over to the cyborg and put a gun to his face.

Amy points out the doctor is darker and more prone to violence when he travels alone. And so many people (which used to include myself) cheer when they see that, knowing that the doctor is better off with companions.

Yet isn't it terrible that just because the doctor, this godly being is alone, that he becomes much darker and prone to violence? That he can't even handle himself and his emotions like that? This god of a being, and what he's capable of.

He needs companions in order to help him be more on the side of good. It's a damning indictment of the doctor.

He seems so emotionally unstable, prone to outbursts of anger and violence and happyness and sadness. Sure, part of it is PTSD from the time war and all the suffering and casualties he's endured.

He seems young to me. His age has given him this immense knowledge and bouts of great wisdom, yet he still seems young.

He's a hero, and a villain.

Part of what started this journey of thinking about the doctor differently is the finale of season 1.

All he had to do was press a button.

The daleks were there, and he knew how powerful and hateful they were. They were going to destroy earth, and yhe doctor knew they would then spread throughout the universe and wipe out every other living being.

By pressing the button he would stop that. He would kill the daleks, but it would also mean killing all the humans on earth.

It's a hard choice, but anyone with enough common sense or good morality or weighs the greater good (and even the individual good of every other living being in the univserse) would push the button. It's a simple choice.

But it's even worse. This is far into the future, where humanity has many colonies on other worlds, so the human race would not be wiped out. The choice is much more straight-forward.

But the doctor did not push the button. He was so egotistical. He was so selfish. He was so weak, he let the daleks wipe out every being in the universe.

That is the doctor. He's both brave and cowardly, a hero and a villain. A mad man. A god.

He's seen the good and bad of humanity. And i think he envies us. Most of us would have had the strength (and common sense, and less egotism) to push the button. But he could not.

It's part of why he's humble towards many of us. Part of him wants to be like us, the best of us. We're his favorite race in the entire universe (well, after the timelords, but even then, maybe not).

And he knows about this darkness and weakness and egotism inside of him. He wants to change. After each regeneration he keeps trying to improve and be closer to humanity (but regenerations are also influenced by the immediate surrounding factors and experiences).

I pity him, i'm scared of him, i like him, i respect him and his bravery in the face of so many events and danger. But he's also unpredictable.

And with each regeneration he tries to start fresh. He's a new person with previous memories. He slowly learns from his mistakes, but he's never able to escape them.