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Private Notes
Duncan summons the creatures of the ocean using his sonar abilities. Riding a manatee, Duncan visits the fishing village of Chumphon and stumbles into his old nemesis - Mr Sea Turtle, the leader of the dried seafood gang that runs this village like a slave camp. Duncan ducks into a ravine and makes some more Thai food while he calibrates his laser beams.
Struggling with the turtle gang and their evil dried seafood empire, Duncan falls in love with a family of rabies ridden bats. Desperate to be alone with his bats, Duncan escapes to the burning forest of Surat Thani. Near a cave, he uncovers an ancient tribe of Monks. Some of the monks are over 200 years old and Duncan makes them his world famous goat, frog, and cicada curry.
Duncan leaves the monks of Surat Thani and finds an island made entirely of discarded coconut husks. Duncan drinks too much of the fermented coconut water and is temporarily blinded by the methyl alcohol secretly added by the Turtle gang. Stumbling around, the sightless Duncan thinks he is hailing a Tuk Tuk, but is really forced to iron the slacks of all inhabitants of Koh Samui where Duncan must find his way free from the worlds largest miniature golf park.
After the methyl alcohol induced blindness wears off, Duncan finds himself seeking the healing waters of the great waterfalls and cinnamon sticks found in the national parks of Khao Lak. Using only a butane torch and a college softball cap, Duncan converts bananas into hot banana mush served with rice and leaves found on the ground, Duncan must stowaway on the next helicopter or risk attacks from giant fruit flies.
On Phuket, Duncan wakes from a hangover when the cold salt water sprays his face during a parasailing trip. On how he misses the chunky chicken and Wheat Chex curry in a tube from his home county of Antarctica. Oh well, this satay will have to do. Duncan gets another tattoo.
Kidnapped and drugged by the Thai mobsters known as the Turtle gang, Duncan must shake himself awake before slipping completely into the bottomless hot mud springs of Phnag Nga. He catapults himself to freedom and bids the right amount on a game show to win a speeding jet boat which he uses to impress the ladies while he sips on a coconut, Duncan gets another tattoo.
Recreating the best scenes from Brokeback Mountain and Escape from New York, Duncan challenges former WWE star, The Rock, to a climbing contest using only local crustaceans as mountaineering equipment. Buckets of shrimp are wasted as the two competitors exploit local peasants of Rai Leh beach. This funky world yields and even funkier curry made with seafood and shavings of aluminum. He thinks about retiring and reincarnation. Duncan gets a tattoo.
After losing to WWE star, The Rock, Duncan finds himself rejected by life and joins a commune where he raises free range humans, horses, and monster crabs. Duncan turns on the radio to catch Crystal Blue Persuasion whilst shucking oysters and shoeing the crabs and horses. He finds himself in the bowels of a prison, but is surprised to find out it is a leading cooking school in Krabi. Duncan gets a tattoo.
Duncan begins the episode captured by the Turtle gang and is tortured with early morning local coffee and whipped Yum Cha in this steamy shire of Nakhon Si Tammerat. Duncan deals with another infection following his amputation in season one. A yellow curry is made. Duncan gets a tattoo.
Duncan time travels to 1961 and inhabits the body of Kyu Sakamoto, but stuck in Thailand. As Kyu, he records the famous song Sukiyaki and then decides to make hot pot Sukiyaki. He is transported to the future island of Hat Yai which is now ruled by MechaTurtles armed with photons and Bermuda grass. Duncan tries the food replicator to summon his five star meals from his childhood. Duncan gets all of his tattoos removed.
