Hardwicke House was a 1987 seven-episode sitcom produced by Central Independent Television for the ITV network. It was so negatively received that only the first two episodes were transmitted.
When Smutts van der Git, son of the South African Ambassador, enrols at Hardwicke House, he learns very quickly, as does his Mum, that an English 'comprehensive' education means just that. Self-defence, pyromania, extortion and blackmail are all part of a typical day at Hardwicke House -- of course there are things like reading and writing too!
It's the start of a new term at Hardwicke House. The teachers take stock and they'll do anything to get their filthy hands on Hardwicke House's paper and pens - and the kids are just as bad!