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Private Notes
Victoria begins to tell us her story - a story of intense passion, of unimaginable pleasure, of sexual addiction, of giving up control. As she sets up a display of her designer jewelry in a shop owned by her friend, Matthew, Jack comes in. He's Matthew's best customer - young, handsome and incredibly wealthy. The sparks between Jack and Victoria immediately begin to fly. And it was instantly and absolutely clear to her that he would not disappoint her.
Before she knew what was happening, they were driving with the top down on the Pacific Coast Highway on the way to his beautiful Malibu beach house. Everything was moving so fast. So romantic, so exciting and very, very sexy. She had never made love on a first date before. And as soon as he touched her, she came. A first of many firsts.
In the blink of an eye, he had taken her over completely. Their lovemaking was as inventive and playful as it was sensual and passionate. "Do you remember the scene in "Last Tango In Paris" where Brando smears butter all over Maria Schneider's butt or the one in "9 ½ Weeks" where Mickey Rourke feeds Kim Bassinger all that food? Which chick do you want to be?" he asks her. But she matches him step for step. "I wanna be Mickey" is her instant answer.
As their sex games get more and more erotic and Victoria is up for every challenge. Dressed like a country singer in a cheap blonde wig and a slinky, beaded dress that they bought at a swap meet for just this purpose, he leads her through a role-playing fantasy in which she sneaks into his back yard and watches unobserved as he makes love to another woman. "What did you see?" he asks. "I saw everything," she answers. And then they proceed to act out that fantasy, every sensual detail. The sex is fantastic. Better than she has ever had. But then he amazes her, stops her dead in her tracks. He asks her to marry him.
"Of all the women in the world, why me?" she asks. "Because you're exactly what I want," he answers without a moment's hesitation. And this time, their sex is as sweet and romantic as it is hot, a commitment to their future together.
In his shop, Matthew tells Victoria the little of what he knows about Jack's past. How he was a tough street kid that came to this country from Greece. How he started buying up property downtown when no one else would. How where he got the money to do it was never known though there were rumors that the Mafia was involved. And how he had the most amazing penis. And that made Victoria instantly and intensely jealous. All Jack's other women. What they did with him in bed. What they had that she didn't. And the obvious question that went with that - "How do you keep a man like Jack faithful?" Victoria understands that she is going to have live fully n his world, act out all of his erotic fantasies. Sometimes the sex would turn rough. And to her surprise, she liked it, learned to crave it, had to have it.
Their wedding was incredibly romantic. Just the two of them and the Minister on a deserted beach. But Victoria can't let go of the images of all those other women. She can see it in her mind, feel it through her whole body. How every day at lunchtime, he would pick up another woman and take her back to his hotel suite that he kept for just that purpose and fuck them. "They had nothing to do with you," he tells her. "It was just the moment." "That's really sad, Jack" she answers. "I bet you didn't even ask them their names."
You can feel the tension between them. She presses him to talk about himself, to open up about his past, his feelings. He tells her about all the things he likes, how he has come to have everything that he needs. Until one day he found himself alone in his great big, beautiful house, talking to himself. And then he met her. He tells her about everything he loves about her especially her rage, her "great big cherry pink rage." And then their emotions spill over. Their sex is rough and violent and passionate. Victoria knows that she is out of control though she won't admit it to herself. "How could I?" she says. "I was in love... Or was it lust?"
"You have to find a way to come to terms with my past, Victoria," he warns her. But she is having none of that. She is determined to beat Jack at his own game. "What's the greatest sex you ever had?" she asks. "Besides you?" he answers. "Besides me." So he tells her the story of how he was once trapped in an elevator with a beautiful woman for twenty minutes. Just enough time to seduce her and unleash all of her repressed sexuality. But he doesn't just tell her that story... He makes her act it out. And their sex gets wilder and wilder.
Jack goes away on a business trip and sends in sexy, chic, beautiful Isabel, his "go to girl," to look after Victoria while he is gone, to amuse her. But Victoria is not fooled, not for a second. She knows that Isabel is Jack's next test and she is determined to meet it. When Victoria starts to design jewelry again, Isabel appears with Rita, sexy redheaded Rita, and introduces her as the housemaid. Isabel admires Victoria's jewelry but knows that it needs to be marketed. "What better way to show off a beautiful necklace, then against white, naked, female skin?" she says. Rita is the perfect model and Isabel has brought her camera. The photo shoot that follows gets sexier and sexier as the clothes come off. Soon, Victoria is the one taking the pictures as Isabel and Rita actively enjoy each other's bodies. And though Victoria stays behind the camera and doesn't join in, she realizes that she isn't at all turned off by this new experience. On the contrary, she is excited. Another first of many firsts yet to come.
The next morning, Jacks calls. "You've been a bad girl, Victoria," he says. Isabel has told him all about their little photo shoot and he wants Victoria to describe it to him. And she does, in exquisite, toe-curling detail. It is amazing phone sex. On either end of the phone, on opposite sides of the country, they each bring themselves to orgasm as Victoria tells her delicious story. Victoria knows that everything Jack did excited her, no matter how uncomfortable it made her at the beginning. "And I always had this massive, head-to-toe, screaming, body shaking, out of control orgasm," she confesses. She is hooked.
And then things escalate even higher. Isabel introduces handsome, buff, beautiful Antonio as Victoria's new chauffer "To take you wherever you want to go." Coming back from a run that day, she stumbles across Antonio making love to Isabel behind a corner of the house. Victoria can't help herself. She has to watch. They realize that she is there but she can't pull herself away. Victoria understands perfectly that Isabel has put there by Jack to push her buttons... and Rita... and now Antonio. All of them beautiful, all of them sexy and all of them dangerous. But she can't stop herself.
That night, Victoria finds Rita and a busty, blonde friend with Isabel in the living room practicing for an audition that the girls hope to go on for a television commercial for a sex toy company. "Ask Victoria if she wants to join us," Isabel commands Rita. Victoria is really embarrassed and the women realize that she has never used a sex toy before. They force her to admit it. Rita picks one out for her - the perfect beginner's toy. "If it makes you too uncomfortable, you can take it to your room and use it in private. Just tell me in the morning how you liked it. It'll make me a better saleswoman." Victoria is as intrigued as she is pissed off. So, back in her room, she does try it. And once she starts, she can't stop.
Victoria knows full well how Jack is playing with her - all these erotic temptations, all these sexy, beautiful people. To Victoria, the idea of a threesome seems entirely out of the question. Until she comes across Antonio with Isabel and Rita in the kitchen. Hot sex. Three gorgeous people enjoying themselves, and each other, to the fullest. No shame. Nothing held back. Just pure, unadulterated pleasure for the sake of it. Victoria watches until she it becomes too much for her and backs out of the room.
A brand new Range Rover complete with handsome Antonio as chauffeur. Victoria secretly loved it. And so did Isabel. Ever since she was a young girl, Isabel's favorite fantasy with a brand new car was to take off her panties and rub her naked pussy against the perfect leather seats. She urges Rita and Antonio to join her and they are happy to do it. She invites Victoria too. "Don't be silly," Isabel tells her. "It's your brand new car so you get first dibs on going down on Antonio." Victoria turns her down and leaves. But once she gets inside the house, she can't stop herself from watching the threesome in the car from an upstairs window. And it turns her on. It really turns her on.
Victoria knows that she has to assert herself with these people that Jack has put in the house to push her buttons while he is away. The best defense is a good offense. Rita is first to confront. "Have you ever slept with Jack," Victoria asks. "Yes" is Rita's unhesitating answer. "Once, maybe twice." But Rita expects nothing more than the pure sex. She's not the marrying kind. Not like Victoria. Next up is Antonio. But he turns the tables on her. "Are you satisfied, Mrs. Thornton?" he demands to know. And finally, Isabel. And that confrontation opens up feelings inside of Victoria that she never even dreamed were there.
Victoria now finds herself aroused from morning till night. She emerges from her shower to find a full man's tuxedo outfit laid out for her on the bed. Another test from Jack. She knows that. But this time she is determined not to be a passive player in the game. Dinner that night is incredibly formal - Victoria in her tuxedo and Isabel in a see-through evening gown. When Rita and Antonio join in, Victoria matches them every step of the way. It's her choice, Isabel tells her. Antonio or her. But why choose? Victoria lets herself do things that night that she thought she never would. And when it was over, all she wants is more. She is in heat.
When The Cat's Away: And now she gets the invitation. The next step. The one she knew was inevitably coming. To a secret, exclusive gentlemen-only club. Her outfit has been specially chosen for her for the occasion - black lace bustier, garter belt, thigh-high sheer stockings, a long red velvet cape and an intricate leather mask that covers most of her face. Antonio drives her there and she asks him to wait for her outside. The club is amazing - elegant, smoky, reeking with sexual energy. A fantastic singer/MC mesmerizes everyone inside with his erotic vocals. Two statuesque female attendants, totally naked, escort Victoria down the center aisle to the front of the room where a bound woman hangs from a long chain by her wrists. Another woman circles her slowly with a whip. Dom and Sub begin their erotic dance. Everyone seems to be expecting Victoria, knows who she is, who Jack is, and why she is there.
The Dom circles her Sub like a lioness stalking her prey. "Pleasure or pain?" the MC asks. "Pain," she responds without hesitation. The whip strikes across her thighs leaving angry red welts. But it is her choice. This is what she wants. Now, it is Victoria's turn. The same question: "Pleasure or pain?" "Pleasure," she answers in a whisper. A masked man approaches her chair from behind. It is Antonio. Slowly, gently, he begins to make love to her. Victoria loses herself in the sensuality. Then she looks up and sees Jack on the other side of the room. He comes closer and sits silently in front of her and watches as Antonio makes love to his wife.
Back at home, in bed that night, Victoria needs to know: Did seeing her making love to Antonio make Jack jealous? "It did," he answers. But it also made him understand how much he loved her. That's too much for Victoria. She asks for a divorce. And to her surprise, Jack doesn't put up a fight and she moves out into her own place. At first, she just stays inside. She's numb. Then Rita comes to see her. She's worried. Victoria needs to get out and start putting her life back together. You never know who your friends are. Victoria goes back to work and Matthew is thrilled to see her. He even takes her to a self-defense class designed especially for women. When it is her turn, Victoria knocks the instructor to the ground and pummels him. All of her bottled rage comes pouring out and it frightens her.
Victoria tries to start dating again but it doesn't work for her. None of them was Jack. And then, unexpectedly, Matthew invites them both to his house for Thanksgiving dinner with a small group of friends. The attraction was overwhelming. They fucked non-stop for a whole week. It was passionate, romantic. Like they were starting all over again.
Victoria jumps back into the relationship even more deeply than before. It's as though nothing had ever happened. She will do anything to please him. She even begins to accompany him on his hotel dates with the random women he picks up... all different kinds, shapes, attitudes. Sometimes, Victoria just watches Jack with these women. But more often, she joins in... a more than willing co-conspirator. They compete to see who can come up with new ways to feed their fantasies. Except this time, the stakes are higher.
Victoria lived for these new adventures. Had to have them. They both did. Fantasy after fantasy, each one wilder and more provocative than the one before. What could they do that was different? At Victoria's request, Jack even invites Rita back to the house for both of them to enjoy. And they do enjoy it... immensely. Until it seems like they'd done it all. No experiment that they haven't tried. There's nothing she won't do to please him. But it gets to the point where Jack no longer wants to make love to her. And that makes her crazy. He has Isabel bring home two blondes and forces Victoria to watch as they pleasure Jack and each other.
Victoria becomes obsessed with trying to find new ways to turn Jack on. Standing naked on the staircase, she waits for him to come home... But he just walks right past her without a word. He even takes Isabel to his bedroom, the two of them ignoring Victoria as though she wasn't even there. It's humiliating, but Victoria doesn't care. She just wants him back. But every time she does what he wants, he just pushes her further away. It's like he wants to make her crack so that she will decide to leave him again... But why? And then the straw that breaks the camel's back. Jack introduces her to his new girlfriend, Eve. Tall, leggy, beautiful, blonde. Just arrived in the big city from Oklahoma hoping for a career in porn. So what about a kind of informal screen test? Jack suggests. Just the two of them. Jack will be the director and Victoria can be the co-star... If she's okay with that, of course. "Whatever Jack wants, Jack gets," she answers.
It finally gets to the point where Jack tells Victoria that she has to leave. He knows that he's too far gone and will never change. The only thing that can still turn him on is the excitement of kinky sex. But she needs to save herself. Leave now, he tells her, before it's too late. They make violent, passionate love... perhaps for the last time. And then the final humiliation... They are interrupted by Eve who comes to ask Victoria to go with her to her first porno shoot... "As kind of moral support."
The end finally comes on a dark, rainy night. Jack, Victoria and her new best friend, Eve, are driving back from the country. Eve is totally jazzed by her new porn career. It makes her horny and a vibrator just won't do. She needs a dick. So she climbs into the front passenger seat, mounts Jack and fucks him. He just sits there watching to see the effect this will have on Victoria. It's the final straw. Victoria floors the accelerator, takes her hands off the steering wheel and sits there, silently crying, as the car plunges over a steep embankment. Eve is killed instantly and Jack is seriously injured. The doctors do everything they can. But, after two weeks in intensive care, he dies too. Victoria is left with the hope that, by telling her story, it can become a kind of cautionary tale for all women who fantasize about perfect love. How you can become addicted to the great sex, the constant sex. Kamikaze love - dangerous love, driven to the edge by love, willing to die for love... Ain't it a bitch.
