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Private Notes
There is a quick re-cap of the concept of the show - a fictional reality has been concocted where everyone is in on the joke except for 27-year-old Hastings farm worker Sam Chambers. Nine actors, each adopting a readily identifiable stereotype, are there to push Sam to the limit in all sorts of extreme scenarios. As he approaches the house in a limo, Sam expresses his nervousness at appearing on television. Sam is the first to arrives at the palatial beach front house where the ""contestants"" will be living and hovers by the pool. Mark Ferguson, the smug host, next cruises into the property on a horse. He introduces himself and makes grandiose statements about where the reality show will take them. He also announces that in a few days, they will vote to eliminate the first contestant, and says that whoever is left at the end of the game will win $50,000. But along the way their will be challenges for luxury items and immunity from elimination. Mark explains that earlier that day they to
The ""Horizontal Bungee Challenge"" nearly ends in tragedy. Sam starts to stand up to Mick, but freaks out when Billy finds pictures of Mick's bum in his photo album and has a tantrum. Who will be voted out in the first fake elimination ceremony? At the first elimination ceremony, all the actors vote for who they are supposed to. Sam votes for Billy the gay guy, having explained earlier that because Mick has immunity, he thinks Billy should go because his and Mick's conflict creates tension in the house. As the votes are being read out, one comes up for Sam. The rest are for Rima and Billy, with Billy just getting the most. Tearfully addressing the group, Billy thanks them and says he didn't have a game plan. Then Mark smashes Billy's commemorative plate into the fireplace. Mick makes a parting shot, and Mule tells him to shut up. In a post-show interview out of character, Jeremy (who played Billy the gay guy) says the whole thing was exhausting and he's looking forward to seeing his gir
Sam is sleeping in the master bedroom so he can be kept secret from the other contestants. Awanui (who plays Rima the Schemer) observes that Sam may have overheard them talking about their ""performances"". But Sam says he didn't really stick around to listen. The contestants are all dressed up as French painters, and to win a lounge suite, they must paint a picture on various body parts of a model of the opposite sex. Special guest Charlotte Dawson will judge the contest. Mark the host talks about his career at dinner. Mary is clearly enamoured of his celebrity. He then hands out signed photos. But on Mary's photo, he has written her a note in which he dotes on her with ""sexy language"" (Sam's words). The majority of votes are for Mule, who proceeds to make his leaving comments: he tells Sam he shouldn't feel bad for what happened, and that he wants Sam to ""take this game by the scrotum and shake it like an English bulldog."" He then reads a poem he wrote about Sam. He then says that he s
Sam is still dealing with last week's accusation that he kissed Rima. He brings it up in front of everyone at dinner, and asks Rima to admit that it was a fabrication. Rima tells Mary in private that they did, again. Although he remains calm, it is obviously riling Sam up. But while they eat, he finally gets Rima to admit to everyone that she made it up. Rima says she was playing the game, and that Tiffany fell for it because she likes Sam. In interview, Sam is perplexed by Rima's actions. In a challenge for a widescreen TV, contestants must identify who is being referred to in statements about their drinking habits. If you get it wrong, you have to change into a crazy outfit. Sam gets his wrong and has to change into a school girl's uniform. When Mary the virgin changes into a French Maid's outfit, she comes out and sits on host Mark's lap. ""For such an innocent girl, she's very flirty,"" observes Sam in interview. Even though Tiffany gets her question right, Sam insists she dress up a
Last episode, host Mark said that the producers were angry that one of the contestants hadn't revealed a certain aspect about their past. It is planned that at dinner, it will be revealed that a former boyfriend of Tiffany's has posted a home video of them having sex on the internet. But the morning before that, in his room, Tiffany reveals to Sam that she is the contestant Mark referred to, but doesn't say what it is. At lunch, Mick the Prick hassles Tiffany that she is the one with the secret. Sam is clearly not impressed, but does nothing. But after lunch, Sam checks in with Tiffany to see if she's alright, and gives her a hug. Following the challenge, the contestants combat the terrible weather by warming up in the spa pool. Mark comes in and announces a special guest has arrived - it's Mary the Virgin's fiancé William! He comes in playing a guitar and singing a song about his cupcake Mary. She emerges from the spa to embrace him, but William is shocked that she is wearing a bikini
As revealed at the end of last episode, Sam is seriously considering leaving the programme, saying it just isn't his scene. This naturally sends the crew into a tizzy. Sam's concern that it isn't his scene will be further tested by the upcoming challenge that will have the contestants dressing up in bondage gear. Pairs of contestants are chained together. They must then search through whipped cream while dressed in bondage gear to find keys to free their partner. Before the challenge begins, Mark (who is dressed in the nuttiest bondage gear of all) announces that Mick was evicted unlawfully, and that he is back in the game. Mick strides back in dressed in really gross bondage gear. Sam hisses disapprovingly. Sam and Tiffany go first, and execute the task very efficiently. No one is able to beat them, so they win. It is hoped that his challenge win will boost Sam's enjoyment of the whole thing, ensuring he stays. After the votes are cast, Mark informs the room that before they are count
Tiffany is in the lounge discussing with Mary and Sam the possibility of selling the story about her sex video on the internet (which everyone now knows) for $25,000. Apparently smarmy host Mark suggested the notion. Sam observes that Mary appears slightly irritable this evening. As Victoria (who plays Mary) reveals in interview, the idea is that Mary is jealous that Tiffany is getting all the attention. The crew plan for the evening's meal challenge, where the contestants will all be served disgusting items - if one person refuses to eat their meal, no one will get the allotted prize of a video camera. . But the contestant's food will all be normal food dressed up to look like nastiness. Sam, however, will be served real life cockroaches. But the plan is for the contestants to revolt so Sam won't have to eat the insects. Sam tells Tiffany that they'll all get the cameras if she pashes Mary. They're discussing it in Sam's room, when Mary suddenly rips into it with Tiffany, pashing pass
The remaining four contestants - Mick, Ben, Tiffany and Sam are eating dinner. It appears Mick has somehow found out about Tiffany's pash with Mary, and hassles her about it. Tiffany looks mortified- Sam instantly denies telling him about it. Tiffany continues to look at Sam accusingly. Mick continues to hassle Tiffany. In interview, Sam discusses how much luck has played a role in Mick staying on the show. Sam does not like Mick at all. Mark announces a prize challenge called ""Master Debater"", in the contestants must speak on a chosen topic for the longest without hesitating or laughing. Another player will be chosen to distract the speaker. Sam goes first - he is talking about why home kills are best. Mick is chosen to distract him. Sam has a lot to say, but Mick proceeds to undressed, slapped his butt checks, wield his smelly shoes in Sam's face. But Sam remains stoic. Tiffany then talks about credit cards, with Sam distracting. He cracks her up pretty quickly with his stomach conto
The three remaining guys - Sam, Ben and Mick, come out dressed in togas. They are to participate in a challenge where they must bite into a hanging lamb carcass while handcuffed. Whoever can deposit the most amount of gnawed meat into their bowl wins. Gross. Mick says it was probably one of the most disgusting things he's ever done. Ben wins with 574 grams. He wins ""the latest in 4 wheel technology"" - a remote control car. The cast members discuss their nervousness about Sam learning the truth. Some are worried, some are excited. When the final vote is about to occur, Mark re-introduces all the eliminated contestants, who will decide the final winner. The contestants all get to ask the final three a question. Plentiful platitudes follow. The final three find themselves justifying why they each should win, and recalling some of the more extreme moments in the house. The votes are not anonymous this time around - each person must hold on to their's and read it out themselves. Rima: Sh
Following directly on from last week's cliff-hanger, Tiffany reveals her deciding vote to be for...Mick! Mick! Mick!Streamers reign down as Mick jumps for joy. Sam claps with an awkward smile on his face. Then Mark tells everyone to stop - he is getting direction in his ear piece. The Network Executive (played by real-life exec Andrew Shaw) enters the scene and whispers something in Mark's ear. The contestants all look on eagerly. ""We have a problem,"" says Mark. ""There is someone here who has grossly broken the rules of the game - this person is not who they claim to be. We have an impostor in the house. I would like that person to own up. Who is the impostor?!"" After a sustained silence, Mick announces sheepishly ""It's me. But I won this fair and square. My name's Jason Fitch, I'm not a security guard, I'm an actor."" ""We're screwed! We can't put this to air now!"" screams Mark. ""It's not fair,"" whines Jason. ""They say actors can't go on these things. Besides, I'm not the only actor her
