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Private Notes
Former wild child Mel Burke has just been elected as city council person for Toledo, Ohio. However, in addition to her new job, she is also forced into raising her niece, Lennox, and her nephew, Ryder. Lennox and Ryder's father, Louis Scanlon, was part of a ponzi scheme and fled the country. Their mother was sent to prison, leaving Mel as the only option. Joe Longo, a former employee of Louis and lost all of his money. His wife kicked him out and left him with nothing. Joe tracks down Mel for information on Louis. Their paths continue to cross until Mel accidentally offers Joe a job to help her take care of the kids. Lennox got suspended from school and Joe saves the day getting Lennox to talk to the principal and accept her punishment.
Mel dates a guy with ulterior motives. Joe deals with getting his stuff back from his ex-wife, most importantly his flat screen TV. Lennox tries to make friends in her new school.
Joe fears that being a nanny will prevent him from having a love life. Mel is worried that a depressed Joe means no more gourmet food so she lies to help him get a date with her former sorority sister. Joe needs to keep the lie going to help out Mel in her job.
Lennox starts dating a bad boy that Mel disapproves of, while Mel is also dating a bad boy of her own. Joe takes it upon himself to reorganize Mel‘s closet.
Mel grounds Lennox because she is failing chemistry and needs to study. However, when Senator Russell Burke, Mel‘s father, shows up unexpected, he undermines her authority. Senator Burke sweet talks Joe and takes the kids out for a night of fun against Mel‘s wishes. Seeing the conflict between Mel and Lennox, Senator Burke invites Lennox to move in with him and her grandmother in Washington, D.C.
Mel catches Joe having secret meetings with a girl named Tessa in the basement. When Mel begins to spy, she learns that Joe & Tessa are on a manhunt for her brother-in-law Lewis Scanlon. Mel & Joe think Ryder is getting bullied at school because he keeps losing his stuff. Joe & Mel come to his rescue by getting his stuff back, but proceed to make everything worse.
Mel is working on her public image and invites a TV reporter to do a story on her and the kids. Celeste Vega (Valery Ortiz) finds out that Mel has a male nanny working for her and shifts the story to Joe. Stephanie alerts Joe that the piece is not flattering for Mel. Joe goes down to Celeste‘s office to defend Mel.
Mel agrees to dance with a dancer from "Dancing with the Stars'' at a charity event.
Due to a recent scandal at the city council, Mel is asked to prove Joe’s legal working status in the United States. Much to her surprise, Joe was born in Korea while his family was stationed abroad, and he can’t find his legal documents. Meanwhile, when Lennox decides to go to a school dance with one of her girlfriends, rumors start circulating about her sexuality.
Lennox dates the Mayor's son, who may not be the good influence Mel thinks he is.
Mel hears something in the attic but when she goes to investigate it is the last thing she expected.
Lennox has a crush on her tutor. Joe creates a web site where he gives financial advice.
Joe's ex, Tiffany, tries to rekindle their relationship
Melissa's trainer, "Lindsay Gates" (Jessalyn Wanlim) has a physical thing for Joey.
Mel has an important deal with a Japanese businessman and asks Joe to teach her Japanese. When the businessman's son arrives in his place and speaks no English, Joe has to translate between the two. When the Japanese businessman develops a romantic interest in Mel, Joe sabotages the translation. Meanwhile, Lennox is forced to work with her ex-best friend on a school project, and Ryder tries to mediate.
After debating whether to show his face after the tumultuous year he's had, Joe ultimately decides to go to his 10-year college reunion. On the same evening, per the Mayor's request, Mel goes out to dinner with an artist to discuss bringing his installations to Toledo. But when Mel gets a call from a depressed Joe at his reunion, she rushes over there to surprise him by posing as his girlfriend and save the day - only to realize that in the meantime, Joe has found and reconnected with an old flame. And Lennox and Ryder decide to throw a party with Mel and Joe out for the evening, but it does not go as planned.
Lennox is asked to be a model but she must get permission from Mel. Joe helps Ryder ask a girl out.
Mel plans a wedding at her home; Lennox and Ryder work on a documentary.
Mel volunteers Joe for a school charity auction but the winner of the auction may have ulterior motives.
Mel feels the pressure to find someone after her last single friend gets engaged.
Mel begins dating a younger man (Scott Michael Foster). Elsewhere, Lennox encourages her classmate to edit the school blog
George has a party to introduce Mel to his friends. Meanwhile, Joe gets upset at his ex-wife for disrespecting their anniversary.
Mel reexamines her romance with George. Elsewhere, Holly introduces her folks to Ryder.
Mel's dad comes back to town to support a bill Mel opposes. Meanwhile, Lennox's poetry proves popular with a classmate who's an aspiring singer.
Joe's younger brother visits and takes an interest in Mel.
Joe gets Ryder in trouble with his teacher; Mel sneaks Lennox into an 18-and-over concert.
Mel recruits Joe to play on her office softball team, as she is determined to beat her rival's team (Tom Wilson). Meanwhile, Ryder wants Lennox to feature Holly's short story in the school blog.
Mel and Joe get into a property dispute with their neighbor; Ryder films a PSA starring Lennox.
Fearing that she will give into peer pressure, Mel and Joe follow Lennox to her all night after-party. Meanwhile, while studying with another girl, Ryder seizes the opportunity to stand up to Holly.
Joe considers newfound possibilities, when he comes into a large sum of money. Meanwhile, a water leak is found on the living room ceiling.
In the second-season opener, Mel has her home renovated, but the construction work does not go smoothly. Meanwhile, Lennox's school puts on a play she wrote, but the audience reaction is not what she anticipated.
Mel and Joe attempt to respect each other's privacy after they have a quarrel about boundaries. Elsewhere, Lennox dreads working on the spirit committee at school, but her attitude changes after she meets the president of the club, Aidan (Cody Linley).
When Mel and Joe walk in on Lennox and Aidan in bed together, they try to steer her away from sex, while Aidan's parents are delighted at the idea of the two being each other's "first." Holly tries to get Ryder to shave for the first time.
Joe thinks that Mel is having an affair with a married man and seeks to expose her. Lennox's friend has a boyfriend, Haskal (Gregg Sulkin), that has been crushing on her and she tries to find the right words to tell Scarlett. Ryder looks for a perfect birthday present for Holly.
Mel punches a person in Ryder's defense, then must think fast when video of the altercation is posted online. Meanwhile, Lennox attempts to befriend a new girl at school, but the girl takes advantage of Lennox's kindness, which dismays Joe.
Mel plans to break up with her boyfriend, but seeks Joe's help in boosting his confidence before she gives him the bad news. Meanwhile, Ryder's girlfriend Holly confides a secret to Lennox and asks her to keep it from Ryder.
Mel and Joe arrange blind dates for each other, leading to an uncomfortable double date for the group. Meanwhile, Lennox decides to start her own blog after being kicked off the school website, but it consumes all of her time, leaving her boyfriend Haskal feeling ignored.
Mel's friend declares she wants to have a baby, and thinks Joe should be the father.
Mel's date thinks Joe's cooking is something Mel made; Lennox's friend has a crush on Ryder.
After Lennox breaks up with her new boyfriend, Mel starts dating his father behind her back. Joe tries to teach Ryder a lesson about how to invest in the stock market.
Joe gives Lennox driving lessons without Mel's consent. After Lennox gets into a minor accident, Joe tries to cover it up from Mel. Mel & Ryder are keeping a secret of their own.
During her first visit in a few years, Joe gives Mel's mother, Monica some advice that upsets Mel. Meanwhile, Lennox gets into some hot water when her gym teacher assumes that she is pregnant.
Joe works as a financial consultant over the internet.
The visit of Elena, Joe's Russian colleague and on-line crush, disrupts the life in the Burke household.
Mel decides to perform the wedding ceremony between Joe and Elena so the Russian can get a green card.
Mel tries to convince Joe of his importance to her and the family after she learns that he has been looking for another job.
Melissa and Joe are both happy in their new relationships, until they discover they are dating a divorced couple. Meanwhile, Lennox decides to get a tattoo after her boyfriend Zander forbids her and Ryder is surprised to find he actually misses school.
Joe paints Mel into a corner, forcing her to get him a job at City Hall with fellow City Council member Paul. Once there, Joe gets wrapped up in another potential financial scandal, leading to all sorts of headaches for Mel. Meanwhile, Lennox is torn between her boyfriend Zander and her hot co-star in the school play, Archer.
Joe dates his chiropractor following a back injury, and he doesn't want to rush their new romance. Elsewhere, Ryder and Zander team up to work on a graphic novel, but the project hits a sour note when Lennox becomes their editor.
Mel's childhood friend, Austin, moves back to Toledo, and he and Mel quickly take their old friendship to a new level. But Joe starts to think that Mel and Austin may in fact be related, and schemes to break them up. Meanwhile, enterprising Lennox sells ads on her blog to earn extra money, but is horrified to discover her first sponsor may participate in unfair labor practices.
Joe accidentally injures Mel's boyfriend, Austin, during a competitive game of pool. Mel accuses Joe of doing it on purpose to ruin her romantic weekend getaway. Meanwhile, Joe invites a nerdy kid to join Ryder in his home school studies, and Lennox takes to psychoanalyzing everyone in the house.
Mel is taken aback when she finds out that Austin may not share her vision of their future and is resolute in his belief he never wants children. Meanwhile, Joe's new girlfriend is only interested in a physical connection, which leaves him confused and wanting more in the relationship. And, Lennox can't motivate herself to write her college entrance paper, so she hires Ryder to be her full time babysitter until she does.
After Joe convinces Mel to dump her needy friend Anita, he secretly starts dating her. Meanwhile, Lennox gets super competitive and becomes determined to beat Zander’s test scores. And Ryder is bummed when all of his friends delete him from their social media sites.
Mel desperately wants to be the cool aunt after she discovers that Lennox has taken her relationship with Zander to the next level, but Joe just wants to kill Zander. Meanwhile, Ryder's naïve girlfriend Keira is impressed with his undeserved bad boy reputation, but he discovers her parents are not.
Mel and Joe are invited to co-host a week of “Good Morning Toledo” which Mel thinks will help her earn voters. Their constant bickering on air garners rave reviews with the audience and they’re an instant hit. But when the secret to their popularity turns out to be talking a little too personally about Lennox and Ryder, they have to decide if fame or family is more important.
When his apartment needs to undergo emergency renovations, Mel invites her new boyfriend Noah to temporarily move in with her, accelerating their relationship.
When Joe and Ryder sell Mel's old belongings, they inadvertently sell a very personal item of hers. Desperate to reclaim her property, Mel and Joe turn to crime to get it back. Meanwhile, Lennox's new pen pal is eager to meet her in person, after his release from prison.
Joe works out an alternative payment plan when he begins dating the mom of one of his students, which unintentionally earns him a reputation among the other mothers in the neighborhood as a tutor-prostitute. Meanwhile, Zander and Lennox decide to skip college and drive around the country in a motor home – which doesn't sit well with "cool" aunt Mel. And Ryder introduces his vegan girlfriend to the joys of meat.
In failing health, Joe's grandmother Sofia begs him to come visit her one last time for her birthday, and to bring his beautiful wife Tiffany along. Since Joe never got around to telling "Nona" he and Tiffany got divorced, he's forced to beg Mel to pretend to be his trampy ex. Soon, Joe and Mel are on the road to Jersey with Lennox and Ryder tagging along.
Mel's sister, Meredith (Jaime Pressly), comes home from prison on furlough to celebrate Christmas with the kids and Mel, and seems unruffled by Joe's obvious animosity towards her. Note: this episode is a Christmas special and was only put in after EP15 because it was near Christmas. Episode 15 ends on a cliff hanger and is continued in episode 17.
Mel's sister Meredith comes home from prison on furlough to celebrate Christmas with the kids and Mel, and seems unruffled by Joe's obvious animosity towards her.
Joe rushes home to tell Mel that he has feelings for her after their romantic night together in New Jersey. When he arrives, he's shocked to find Austin has shown up and wants to give his relationship with Mel another try. Deciding he can't stay and watch them fall in love all over again, Joe quits. Meanwhile, Lennox plots to get Joe and Mel together and Ryder gets sick from his own cooking.
Mel insists on Joe "courting" her, but soon becomes frustrated at their lack of time together. Desperate to spend time with him, Mel sneaks over to his new digs, where he works as a live-in nanny, risking getting him fired—for a second time in as many weeks. Meanwhile, after witnessing a robbery, Ryder expects a hero’s welcome, but is horrified to discover that his interview with the local news has been turned into a viral video called "I Peed My Pants."
Mel joins an exercise boot camp to lose weight before an eight-course meal; Joe clashes with a celebrity chef; Lennox and Zander try to sell their Internet series.
Mel takes Joe to a work dinner. Upon meeting the press, Joe starts to spout his—and Mel’s—opinions on issues, which garners Mel bad press. Meanwhile, Ryder musters up the courage to ask his new Chem partner Stella out on a date.
Mel adopts a dog despite knowing that Joe doesn't want one, then feels ignored when he forms a bond with the pooch; Ryder spends time with Stella's daughter.
Mel gets a reluctant Joe to agree to couple’s therapy to work on their constant arguing. But she’s completely caught off guard when the therapist turns out to be Joe’s ex-girlfriend. Meanwhile, Lennox is conflicted about dating her Teaching Assistant after Zander shows up on her porch.
Mel and Joe have a fun game night with married couple Nate and Gillian, whom they hope to remain good friends with. But then Nate tells Joey a big secret…that Joe in turn tells Mel…who then tells Gillian… Meanwhile, after flunking out of art school, Zander shows up begging Ryder to let him secretly hide out in the basement without Lennox knowing.
Lennox moves out after Mel forbids her from dating her teaching assistant; Ryder is stuck at the Canadian border when he can't find his passport.
Mel and Joe serve as chaperones at Ryder's school dance, then get kicked out of the event; Ryder changes his mind about breaking up with Stella.
Mel is completely on Joe’s side when he’s involved in a hit and run, until she discovers the other driver is her beloved hairdresser Calista. Meanwhile, Ryder tries to win Stella back with a grand romantic gesture during class — much to the frustration of her teacher.
Joe gets into hot water when he tries to help a recently divorced friend get back into the dating game; Zander's decision to move in with two female coeds does not sit well with Lennox.
Mel's wild father sends out an inappropriate photograph that could harm her run for the state senate; Ryder tries to come up with a winning idea for a business club.
Mel wants to get rid of the ugly chair that Joe inherited from his late grandmother; Ryder pretends to be a college student to get close to one of Zander's roommates.
Mel gets surprising news from her doctor, but is not sure if the timing is right to share it with Joe; Ryder forms a study group with an attractive student and the class genius.
Mel has everything she needs for the perfect wedding after a close friend unexpectedly calls off her nuptials; Lennox helps Ryder construct an untruthful resume.
Mel and Joe recall the years they have spent together as they try to convince a counselor that they have the perfect relationship.
Mel is less than thrilled when Joe’s mom drops by, but it’s Joe who hits the roof when his estranged brother Tony turns up unannounced. Meanwhile, Lennox insists on helping Ryder get into college even though he has plans of his own.
It’s Mel and Joe’s wedding weekend, but things aren’t running as smoothly as they’d hoped. Before they can even make it down the aisle, Joe sees her in her dress, prompting Mel to trash it and get a new one. Plus, someone is injured during Joe’s bachelor party, Mel’s father is MIA, Marco’s making the moves on Lennox in front of Zander and someone accidentally confesses a hidden secret.
Joe is forced to make a quick decision when Mel drops a bombshell on him during their wedding; Lennox is caught between Marco and Zander; Ryder tries to find the perfect time to reveal news about his future.
Mel considers breaking things off with Joe after he invites his family to move into the house; Zander attempts to win Lennox back from Marco; an online course earns Ryder an unusual credential.
A doctor's Halloween house call is anything but ordinary when it is revealed that Mel was once a teenage witch and her help is needed in a battle against an evil foe.
New couple Mel and Joe have a disagreement over whose family ornament gets to adorn the top of their Christmas tree.
When their honeymoon to Tahiti gets canceled due to Mel's broken leg, Joe surprises her with a cabin getaway. But their dream vacation quickly becomes a nightmare. Meanwhile, Lennox tries to hide her relationship with Marco.
Dani wants to go on a date with a boy at school, but Joe tells her she’s too young. So she tricks Mel into taking her anyway, putting Mel in the awkward situation of wanting to be the cool stepmom but having to lie to Joe. Meanwhile, Lennox and Marco run into Zander and are outed as a couple.
Joe wants Mel to stop taking birth control so they can start a family, but she's unsure. So he invites Nate and Gillian over with their new baby to see if he can change her mind. Meanwhile, Lennox tries to help Zander move on by setting him up with her friend Lilah, and Ryder announces his unexpected plans for the future.
It's Ryder's 18th birthday, and the family gathers to video chat with him, but the computer crashes before they get a chance to talk. Joe insists he can fix it, but Mel is afraid they'll run out of time, so she secretly hires a Jiffy Nerd computer technician behind Joe's back.
Joe has to return a fancy wedding gift from her relatives and then learns that they are going to pay a visit.
Mel learns the true reason why Joe is unsupportive of Dani's musical talents.
Joe, wanting the family to spend more time with each other, puts a ban on cell phones and computers all weekend long. But it may come back to haunt him when he's offered a job if he gets back to the guy in time.
Joe is shocked to learn that Dani snuck friends in to the house, drank wine and then lied about it. Meanwhile, Mel is less than thrilled over Lennox's infatuation with her professor.
Lennox wishes to follow her professor to Colombia; Joe wants Dani to tell her mother about her irresponsible behavior.
Mel and Joe want to have a child as soon as possible. Ryder wonders what to do with his future.
Mel & Joe are reeling from both the pregnancy test results and Ryder's announcement that he's joining the Navy. Feeling Ryder is completely unprepared, they hatch a plan to have Joe put him through a rigorous mock Boot Camp.
When Joe learns the significance of the little devil tattoo on Mel's backside, it's a big turnoff for him in the bedroom. Meanwhile, Lennox and Zander are forced to work with an untrained actress on their "Cassandra" short film.
Joe finds himself in a compromising position with a famous “bondage romance” author that Mel invited to her book club.
After taking a new job with crazy hours, Joe has to down a bunch of energy drinks to stay awake for a meeting Mel has with Hank, a rich backer who might finance her Congressional run. But with Joe wired and acting weird, Hank fears he's is on drugs. Meanwhile, Lennox decides to kill off Cassandra to break up Zander and McKenna.
Mel tries to convince Joe to talk Gloria into drawing up a will, but Joe chickens out. So Mel invites Russell to come talk to her. Gloria is offended, but Russell soon charms her - a little too well for Mel's liking. Meanwhile, Lennox and Zander try to just be "friends with benefits."
After being frozen in an avalanche on a ski trip, Mel and Joe thaw out 100 years in the future.
Mel pretends to love her birthday gift from Joe. But that turns out to be a fake gift to throw her off. Instead, he had a one-of-a-kind wedding ring made for her that she hates even more and is horrified she has to wear the rest of her life.
On a family game night, questions and answers lead to a breakdown of Mel and Joe’s, as well as Lennox and Zander’s, relationship.
Mel decides to run on a Healthy Diet campaign for her senate run but is then caught eating a Piggy Burger by a voter. After he tweets a photo of her and calls her a hypocrite, she gets into a war of the words with him.
Mel and Joe both panic when she gets news that will directly affect her senate run. Meanwhile, Ryder gets his orders from the Navy, and Lennox and Zander both have life-changing epiphanies after they almost die in a car crash.
