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Private Notes
After Terry marries and leaves for Australia without telling anyone, Arthur appoints his nephew Ray his new minder and assistant, on similar vague and ungenerous terms as with Terry. Ray proves himself as physically capable as Terry was, and also finds his French language skills of use when he is sent to Brussels to pick up a car. He saves Arthur from being arrested for drug trafficking.
Arthur is persuaded by Herbie Collins to buy a large consignment of British wine allegedly made by the 'Blessed Brothers of Saint Bidolph' in Kent. Before Arthur can collect the wine, Collins is arrested and the warehouse chained up prior to an inventory being taken. Ray and Arthur break in and take the cases they have already paid for. Arthur holds a official launch of 'Bulldog Wines PLC' at the Winchester, but discovers that all the wine has been 'corked' and is unsaleable.
Arthur’s bank won't extend his already large overdraft, the telephone and electricity in the lock-up have been cut off and the local council won't let him erect a flagpole on his car lot. Then Mrs Daly disappears without a word. Whilst Arthur is taken to court by the council, Morley and Park investigate his wife's disappearance. Arthur, defending himself in court, successfully has the case dismissed. But Morley has convinced himself that Arthur has killed his wife and buried her under a concrete slab on the car lot. Mrs Daley finally reappears; she'd decided, without telling anyone, to go to a health farm.
Three men who have been conned by Arthur decide to pool their resources to get back at him. He’s drawn into a card game for big money, and is landed with a Trabant,which is worth very little. Then he bids at an auction, thinking that he's buying furniture but finds himself buying a greyhound that proves to be a non-runner. Then Ray sells a car, taking a piano in part-exchange, thinking it's a rare and valuable item, but it proves to be worth only a hundred pounds. Arthur begins to realise who is behind the con and sets out to turn the tables on them. The greyhound proves its worth at a stud farm, the car is sold back to the man who sold it to Arthur - at ten thousand pounds. And Arthur presents the piano to the Winchester.
Arthur is invited to the funeral of big-time gangster Charlie Johnson and the wake afterwards. The funeral is being carefully observed by police and the palatial Johnson home in Pinner is bugged. Police identify Tommy Hambury, a major crook returned after many years abroad and conclude that something major is being planned. Ray starts romancing Joanna, a friend of the family, who is later revealed to be an undercover police officer.
Arthur’s doctor wants him to give up alcohol and tobacco if he wants to avoid an stomach ulcer, but this causes Arthur even more stress and he begins to believe that everyone's after him. The feeling is reinforced when building contractor Benny McLeish threatens him over a paint deal that goes sour. Arthur becomes so paranoid that he demands police protection.
Bookmaker Stan Sorrell and Billy from Bradford have a £10,000 bet on a pigeon race from London to Bradford. Billy asks Arthur to lend him Ray for this job, so Ray goes to Bradford with Billy. Whilst there, he falls heavily for Sorrell's daughter Donna. Back in London, Ray starts thinking about moving to Bradford to be with Donna. Arthur sets up Donna in a nightclub with 'Nostalgic' to break up the budding romance.
Arthur sets himself up as a 'security consultant', selling security alarms to business premises. He recruits Ron the Burglar, a reformed burglar, for his hard-won expertise, but when Ron installs a system on Arthur's lock-up, it immediately malfunctions. Arthur is unable to leave the premises and he's forced to stay there all night. A series of break-ins at premises that have installed Arthur's equipment soon arouse the suspicions of the police and Morley and Park investigate.
Arthur and Monty Hinchcliffe book a former music hall act for the “British Volunteer” - retired ventriloquist 'Professor Pickford and Mystic Micky'. The act goes down well with the punters - but Tommy Pickford suffers from heart trouble and can't continue the act every night. Then some karaoke gear that Arthur's rented from Mrs Gabadini is stolen from his van. He sees dire consequences from admitting it's loss to Mrs Gabadini and her sons, but then Ray strikes lucky. He does a deal with dodgy wheeler-dealer club owner Barry to sell the karaoke machine, which he stole, to the Gabadinis.
Gangland boss Billy Meadows comes to London from Birmingham for a meet with his estranged brother Vinnie to locate Henri, a French chef who has got his daughter pregnant. Henri is working for 'Daley Catering' who are about to cater for a police retirement party. He is kidnapped and returned to Birmingham for a shot-gun wedding, but all’s not well with Arthur. A police Superintendent at the party is admitted to hospital with possible food poisoning.
Businessman and former casino owner Lewis Nelson gives Ray the job of making sure that his wife Lorna, a compulsive gambler, doesn’t visit a casino (where she habitually makes a loss). But she persuades Arthur to do her gambling for her, using her money and her ‘system’. Arthur is initially successful but then the system instructions disappear and he starts losing heavily. To make matters worse, the flirty Lorna escapes Ray’s care and turns up at the casino. Ray and Arthur struggle to get her away before Lewis finds out.
DS Morley is ordered to sell a police bus to Arthur so that their accounts will balance. The latter starts using it for tourist purposes; taking punters through “The London The Tourist Never Sees”. The bus breaks down and the whole tour ends up at the Winchester. They become spectators at a fight between Denny Willis and Ray, which pleases them greatly and they are satisfied to have had their money’s worth. In the meantime, Arthur’s trying to join an exclusive golf club and Ray discovers that the current captain has an underhand scheme to sell the club’s land for executive apartments.
When Ray's van breaks down whilst delivering two hundred video recorders to a client in Limehouse Arthur needs alternative transport - and fast, especially as he learns they were stolen property and psychotic Big Dai wants them back. His answer is to take them by barge, the ancient 'Persephone', a journey which inevitably ends in disaster and some very wet video recorders.
