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Private Notes
Brian turns himself into a super hero. Josh won't act as his sidekick so Brian brings home eight-year-old CJ. Soon, the new boy is Brian's biggest fan – but alarm bells start to ring when CJ reveals he wants to stay on as part of the family.
Mel notices a hunky boy who seems to attract all the girls. He seems to know her too – but there's a shock in store for her when she discovers who he really is. She persuades Sophie to morph into a girl from school (played by Lucinda Rhodes-Flaherty of KateModern fame) and gets her to find out more about him. It turns out to be Andy The Freak. After Frankie and Pete refuse to hang out with Josh, he investigates and find out that they attend a stamp collecting club. He then hesitates to be seen with them, fearing people will think he too is a stamp collector. Mel bans Brian from playing with CJ, fearing he will 'break' him as he does with everything else. However, whilst playing pirates, Brian breaks CJ's leg after knocking him off the top of the sofa with a plank. Continuing to play pirates, Brian then goes onto bury all his 'treasure' including the TV, fridge, Microwave, and CJ.
Mel goes into training to become an ace pool player, so as to be able to play with the boys. Brian gets in touch with his 'feminine side'.
Brian is turned into a vampire for Hallowe'en and targets teacher Whiteside as his first victim, while Josh and Pete vow to take revenge on Poppy Manning for scaring them last year. Sophie finds a love letter that Mel has written to Trent and concocts a plan to bring them together
Dissatisfied with the level of affection his foster son is prepared to show him, Brian creates a robot double of Josh... and causes total chaos. The robot Josh in one scene parody's Johnny from The Shining.
Sophie starts to read fairy tales and soon notices that having a wicked stepmother is a necessary first step on the road to living happily ever after. Determined to ensure the children enjoy a blissful old age, she starts behaving in a thoroughly nasty fashion
Brian kills a spider and is so ashamed that he sets up an animal sanctuary – in the house. Sophie suspects Lucy has a secret boyfriend called Derek
Brian gives Mel an alien-style makeover in the middle of the night, but the effects prove short-lived
Josh finally manages to land a date with gorgeous Tania Thomas, the girl of his dreams, but it soon goes all wrong after Brian & Sophie have created a super strong glue mixture. This is one of the two episodes where the Bathroom in the Barker-Johnsons household is seen.
Brian looks for meaning in his life and invents a religion (which he names Brianism), while Sophie becomes obsessed with celebrity magazines. Lucy objects to CJ saying a certain word, so he tricks her into saying it herself
Josh's latest scheme ends in detention after he sells a computer password to Frankie, while Brian watches a series of sci-fi films and discovers the general public believe aliens to be bad guys – so he sets about changing people's opinions.
The children are outraged to discover Sophie has put them up for sale on the Internet – and what's even more mortifying is the price she's asking. The family also get involved in the school charity fair, where Mrs Hardman ends up dancing with three different Joshes.
Brian makes his first ever visit to the dentist – with predictably chaotic consequences. And Sophie tries out a bit of body improvement. She has blonde hair, a tan, a purple dress and very large breasts.
Lucy grumbles that her school work is too easy, but is horrified when Brian and Sophie tell her teacher about her complaints. Brian organises a break-in into the school in order to procure Lucy's school report, while Josh sets up an online dating agency and Mel encourages Trent to emphasise his masculinity
Josh builds up his muscles to impress a sporty girl, but Brian's attempts to help him land a date with her end in disaster. Sophie leads a classroom revolt against her teacher, and Trent blackmails Mel over a pair of pants.
Brian decides to take up a hobby and begins collecting spoons. Mel tries to express her feelings for Trent by putting together a tape of songs while Sophie becomes a rapper and disrupts the school concert with a raucous performance.
Brian adds canned laughter and sound effects to the house after watching too many sitcoms, even arranging a series of slapstick disasters in a bid to make Mel smile. Josh tries to steal Lucy's limelight in a painting competition and Sophie works as a toenail fairy.
Brian and Sophie are equally disturbed to learn the children will eventually grow up and leave home. So, Brian (with help from CJ) decide to ruin Mel & Lucy's hopes of future success and Sophie (acting all tough) gets the Barkers to train harder to feel more brave and strong to the outside world.
Brian is excited about what he will get for Christmas until he finds out that Santa has a "naughty" list, and he's afraid that he may be on it. Meanwhile, Sophie is trying her best to find out what Lucy has got her for Christmas and Josh is looking after Frankie's present from Pete.
In order to mend his friendship with Pete, Josh goes to the store and buys the last Samurai sword they have left, but once again it is accidentally broken. Brian aims to become to best Santa ever in town and things look bad for Christmas until the real Santa shows up.
