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Private Notes
A movie which actually wants you to take bunny rabbits as a SERIOUS, deadly, enemy. Guess they aren’t so cute anymore!…Well actually they look exactly the same.
What happens when someone knows the score of last summer’s game? They kill people that bullied them 20 years ago obviously!
When there’s no more room in hell garbage sequels will play on earth.
Hopefully this film doesn’t really define our culture because that'd be pretty sad.
Sometimes dead is MUCH better than a sequel.
Human inability to work together creates awful things… IN 3D!
Unfortunately Ian only stays dead about the same way as Phelous.
Who’s taking who to prom and what is party cop up to? All the questions you never wanted the answers to in Cabin Fever 2!
The big stars from Troll 2 actually appear in THIS Troll 3. Also known as Ator: Quest for the Mighty Sword!
Some weird movie no one has ever heard of before.
Eli Roth’s improvement from Cabin Fever, he can now offend entire countries.
Making the main cast females will improve this right? RIGHT!?
A prison haunted by silly effects and lackluster storylines.
They did it! They found Troll 4! OR DID THEY!? Either way Brad and Phelan apparently review it in front of the elevators at the Cameo Hotel.
Will Benzaie and Phelous survive a french horror movie about neanderthals stealing women in order to reproduce?
The plague of this film is certainly one which cannot be explained.
Sea Boredom
Such a clever little rip off title, THAT makes this good right?
Jumanji? Nah let’s play the knock off killer board game!
Better than Hostel? That’s not saying much.
As exciting as watching someone playing on the computer can be!
The movie where electronics are SCARY… boo.
Pulse, the movie about driving at night and making sense.
There are some movies we were never meant to watch!
It’s all about RED… actually it’s all about GREEN (screen).
You can’t stop the screening and nonsense plot lines!
With Pulse 3 out of the way it’s time for Pulse… ENOUGH WITH THE PULSES!
The final pulse and this time it’s FATAL! … What does that even mean?
The first direct-to-download film, how surprising it has no redeeming qualities.
Homecoming’s missteps prove you really can’t ever go home again… unless your home is the otherworld.
Phelous is put on the case of why this movie was delayed for 4 years.
The Anaconda has been framed but who did it!? The silly singer, the ice cubes, or the power legs?
The film of many surprises… for a monkey.
David Hasselhoff fights off giant black CGI snakes which claim to be anacondas.
You won’t believe the silliness the CGi creatures pretending to be Anacondas pull off on Johnny Cage in the final snakedown.
If you die in the review, you DIE FOR REAL!
Dead Phelous is in a house showing Uwe Boll’s destruction of the House of the Dead.
How can the sequel possibly hit the lows of it’s predecessor without Uwe Boll? Oh it found a way…
The ALMOST sequel in the HOUSE!!! … of the Dead.
Phelous returns to the damned Silent Hill film to finish what he started.
BACK IN THE HOUSE!!!… of the Dead, which sinks to all new lows when it actually tries to be funny!
Is there anything to be thankful about in this movie? … Oh what do you think?
A movie with “zombie-vampires” a gang of useless characters and void of any coherency, sounds like a DREAM!
Set course for the ship of time loops because contradictions come in waves!
This holiday season the word play on SLAY never gets old.
It’s Cry_Wolf… Nothing is real… or clever… or interesting!
