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Private Notes
Richard is back and exhausted from fatherhood and trying to remember how these work and he's smarting from Alan Sugar rejecting his proposed titles for the saggy-faced Lord's autobiography. And there are a few changes and additions thanks to the successful video Kickstarter campaign. The guest has worked with Richard before, but has no memory of it at all, it's Middlesbrough's finest Bob Mortimer. There is some quite specific conversation about the roads in Linthorpe, speculation that Richard may have unknowingly played with a future rock star in his childhood, and the revelation of why Chris Rea was quiet when he was on Shooting Stars. Plus some fantastically and worryingly detailed conversations about terrorist atrocities and how to dispose of a body. Where would we be in a world with no lime?
Many thanks to Duncan Thorley for gamely being the first person to sponsor an entire episode. Check out his minecraft sitcom, Maximum Whimsy. To sponsor a future episode, please contact Richard via herring1967 -at- gmail -dot- com
Richard chats to his audience, with faces old and new, including a mum and daughter that lead him to some dark thoughts and a laughing financial advisor. His guest is eccentric, comedic barmpot, Lou Sanders who reveals her sexy French inner clown, how she foresaw her own death and how she used comedy to cope with breaking up with her fiance. Richard reminisces about their short-lived show on Fubar radio, tries to discover what raiki actually is and is forced to contemplate whether aliens exist. Surely this is the guest most likely to have ever seen a Bigfoot. But even Lou isn’t as strange as the inhabitants of LA. You will see this fantastic comedian in all her confident fragility and uncompromising honesty as she achieves a rare accolade: confusing some Reeves and Mortimer fans.
Richard is reeling from a missed opportunity to assassinate a government minister and a mystery cloaca based attack, but is delighted to be chatting to a woman he’s been messing about with (not like that) since 1987, it’s Britain’s premier Subo impressionist and poo annecdotist, TV’s Emma Kennedy.
The pair revisit finding a Tardis in the lost basement of a Masonic Lodge, wonder when the people of Wales will finally all have shoes and discuss what fluids and solids there must be in every jacuzzi in the land (especially if Richard Herring has been in them). Find out how Emma almost killed Richard before he could go on to commit his atrocities, what kind of hands a 6 foot penis man would have and whether the pair will ever be married as they have always secretly dreamed.
Richard has a controversial theory about the recent FIFA controversy and gets paid by a man to call him a fucking idiot to his face before introducing former maths teacher and toilet cryer Romesh Ranganathan to the stage of Richard Herring’s Leicester Square Theatre.
In possibly the longest RHLSTP they discuss the problems of trying to procure adequate vegan cheese, cost analysis of airline food, whether a lazy eye is really a trademark and what it would take to get Romesh to have a tattoo of Richard on his arm.
Find out how you can break your penis and what to do if you then get some jalfrezi on it. Ramesh also has to answer the cash for questions that Richard forgot to ask Emma Kennedy. It goes on for a very long time and a lot of it is about babies, but remember you can stop listening any time you like, unlike the poor captives in the theatre.
Richard has been making T-shirts for Kickstarter donators but has made quite a basic error on one of them, and also considers a song-based justice system.
His guest is the scourge of continuity departments everywhere, Lincolnshire’s small-toothed Robert Webb. What was it really like working with Tim from the Office? Is Robert responsible for World War II? Worse is he responsible for the queues at Shepherd’s Bush Post Office? What went on in the Kinema in the Woods? Webb discusses how he felt about appearing nude in the film Confetti and plans an atrocity at a football stadium and reveals how he found out he wasn’t going to be doing the Apple ads any more.
Richard is very excited to meet the man who made him give up viewing porn (temporarily), Groove is in the Heart dancer and park ranger Louis Theroux. With a bad choice of words Richard almost Merchants the podcast early on and the interviewer becomes the interviewee as Herring gets Therouxed and opens up about his pre-marital life.
Will he be the subject of one of Louis’ future documentaries? Can there be a more insulting thing to happen to a person given the broken people he generally focuses on. Louis’ interview with Jimmy Savile is analysed in depth. Should he have spotted the monster lurking beneath the surface? Plus revelations about fagging for Nick Clegg, the bullying of Max Clifford and having your bits ripped off by a chimp. It’s a fascinating 90 minute chat, more serious than usual, but still very funny.
Richard has come close to death, choking on an apricot stone and in his possible final moments only felt embarrassment, but hopefully he has overcome the shame to interview the woman with the smallest oesophagus in showbusiness, Roisin Conaty.
They discuss the problems encountered in having 80 first cousins, the varying careers of East 17, whether it is considered cheating to have sex with a robot and anal itchiness. It’s literally got everything.
Giving away a prize to a lucky audience member, Rich reminisces about schoolday bags and realises how much work he has got to do to relearn his 11 old stand up shows for his insane attempt to do them all at the Leicester Square Theatre in August and September. His guest is a man who has done Chekov, Dickens and Celebrity Juice, Johnny Vegas.
It’s a truly fascinating discussion about the duality of the stand up and where a Johnny ends and Michael Pennington begins. Michael discusses the lengths that Johnny would push him to and his total commitment to being a dog on stage, whether contentment and success mean the death of the character, how to make your own audience out of balloons, why he got the worst degree in his year at University and how he got his revenge, how Monkey has clung to his back like a monkey and the funniest sex show in history. It’s really good.
Richard is reeling from forgetting about his daughter and another attack on his home (how will he ever sell it?), but excited to be welcoming the eponymous star of Improvisation, my Dear Mark Watson to the stage and hoping to talk about nothing but that title for a full hour.
Alas he gets distracted into discussing aversion to non-binding cheese, how thunder storms are the UK’s biggest killer, advertising pear cider and the criticisms that that engendered and Watson’s love of dry stone-walling. Richard continues to try and pinpoint where having sex with a machine counts as infidelity and tries to encourage Mark to enact some of his fans’ sexual fantasies. Also find out why Watson was the Rachel Dolezal of Wales.
Richard concludes the story of his disastrous romantic break with his wife and gives away an exclusive RHLSTP mug to one of the RHLSTP mugs. His guest is Britain’s premiere John Peel/Oliver Hardy/Stewart Lee impressionist, Robin Ince.
They discuss the autobiographies of Don Estelle and Syd Little, how Robin created the Office, a swearing Su Pollard, Iain Lee on a pink tricycle, the funniest serial killer and being the Giant Sand of comedy. Richard also quizzes about his decision to (at least temporarily) give up stand up. It would be a shame. He’s very funny. Having said that, he does seem to be in a very happy mood so why ruin that?
Richard has broken his mirror, but wondering if that gives him 7 years bad luck or frees him from the ghosts of the past. His guests are the non British writers and stars of Britain’s most exciting sitcom this decade, Rob Delaney and Sharon Horgan.
Does their onscreen sexual chemistry spill over into real life, even when Rob’s genitals are in a bag? Does a filling make you a robot? How exactly do you kill a turkey? Is there a wrong way to try and get Mark Lamarr’s attention in a bong shop? Is it better having a baby in America or the UK? And what things would our guests never tell their mother?
Richard rewards an audience member for his Top Cat like trick of never having to buy a poppy again and then introduces his guest, a woman who has tried out more different names than eskimos have for snow, it’s Jessica Hynes.
What’s it like working with Pudsey? Who was in Six Pairs of Pants? Why did Jessica sleep in an abandoned children’s home? Is there a God or just a hand chucking things up? Is the talc dispensing tit the safer option? Who would rule on an island of King Richards? Find out about the horrendous ant massacres perpetuated by a young Richard Herring and why refusing to cut your hair or put on a bikini can be bad for your career.
Richard has just had his third sixteenth birthday and has returned from Amsterdam with a hangover that might just last two weeks. His guest is former milk-maid, fellow West Country cheese enthusiast and Russell Brand lookalike, Bridget Christie.
They discuss webbed toes, being the responsible one in a gang of Hell’s Angels, John Inverdale’s slip of the tongue, the deferred creative revenge on the tedious admin of life and who of the two of them is a more realistic representation for the hopes and dreams of new comedians.
Plus a proper serious chat about feminism. Also ghosts that eat crisps and a disembodied hand that Richard somehow failed to equate to the time travelling finger or the ham hand, so seriously was he taking this as a proper interview.
Richard is still hungover from his birthday - what a day that was! He is joined by a man who once ran a strip club with his dad, Brett Goldstein. They talk about looking dead eyed into a camera on Weekend Kitchen at Waitrose, working with the Hoff, what it’s like on Halloween when you’re the only single man on your street, whether sex with a faceless robot counts as cheating and how important it is to get the full consent of the big man and the tiny man.
There’s another inexplicable ghost story and a disastrous meeting with a comedy hero and a discussion about whether we can ever be truly happy and what effect happiness has on a comedian.
Richard has witnessed a man carrying out his ultimate fantasy, but realises that sometimes maybe fantasies belong in our heads, not in reality. He is joined by the delightfully gossipy, quizzer, doctor, comedian and Sinnerman Paul Sinha.
Obviously they mainly talk about quizzes and their own disastrous TV appearances, but also discuss the least funny sitcom flatshare of all time, John Oliver’s tyre knowledge, the subplot running through these 78 podcasts, the difficulty of knowing it words begin and end with the same letter, notorious joke thieves, David Icke - madman or genius and Rich’s plans for an appearance on Tipping Point.
What happened when Sinha told Herring that he used to fancy him? And can you work out which famous comic asked him to diagnose a sexually transmitted disease? Who will be done for libel? There’s also a revealing discussion about the nature of happiness.
Richard delves into the seedy personal life of Dean and Matilda on the front row, before introducing failed politician and thwarted parachutist Al Murray.
They chat about whether it’s possible to gauge how an audience is laughing at comedy, running around in some wasteland in your pants at night, the Downfall of Farage and the bizarre social media exchanges that Al’s attempt to become an MP led to. Also some glider based history anecdotes, fears for the Westfield shopping centre and peach stones in the dishwasher. Will the audience choose to leave or encourage the two to waffle on into the night and what is the magic that holds them there? Is it due to their racism?
Richard is a bit worried about the psychological similarities he shares with murder spree killers, but maybe that’s just all comedians. If you read his book you might worry the same thing about this week’s guest, cult comedy genius and normal-faced man Limmy.
The pair try and fail to remember an ancient Twitter spat, and Richard threatens to reignite it by trying to welcome his guest by talking to him in his own language. There’s a lively discussion of Scottish politics, the sexual allure of fake tan and whether it’s funny to envisage the death of your own father. Plus an exclusive reading from Limmy’s highly entertaining book, Daft Wee Stories.
It’s the last show in series 7 and there’s an end of term atmosphere and a lot of good natured heckling from a slightly inebriated crowd. Richard’s final guest is Peter Dickson impersonator and product of 1988, Joe Lycett. The podcast largely turns into the vehicle for a RHLSTP clips show as Joe quizzes Richard about his favourite and least favourite guests and what the future might hold for the valuable RHLSTP franchise.
But there’s also time to talk about identifying fish as they are slapped into your face, how much money Richard turned down to appear on TV with Katy Hopkins and the varying depravity of ex Blue Peter presenters. It’s a fittingly low key and relaxed end to the series.
