Times are tough. Competition in the workforce is fierce. Mere adequate performance doesn't cut it anymore. If you can't find a way to make a difference for your employer, a metaphoric clone of you will step into one-half of a stationary camera shot and make you look bad.
Grease up your hair, put on one of many sport coats from the wardrobe department that don't quite fit right, and listen to the story of Walter, ne'er do well of the company, who puts his own manicure schedule, crossword addiction, and general bad 'tude ahead of all else. You'll be glad you did. That way, when you find yourself face-to-face with your own doppelganger, you'll have a competitive edge when it comes time for year-end employee evaluations.
