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Private Notes
Operation Free Our Glenis Immediately
BBC3 proudly presents Roland Rat Superstar - big budget, expensive sets and two years in the making. They said it could never be done - and they were right. All the great showbiz stars have been begging to appear in this major new series set in the Ratcave. Also Roland's sensational new glamorous all-girl dance-troupe The Sewer Sensation make their debut. Star guests include Tim Brooke-Taylor, Samantha Fox and The Communards.
This week's show includes a Pot-pourri of starring guests supported somewhat limply by the usual bunch of idiots Kevin, Errol, Fergie, Little Reggie et al.
A strange pet arrives for Little Reggie and joins the other bunch of hangers-on in the Ratcave, thus assuring itself of fame and fortune for the rest of its life. But who is this strange pet? Professor Stanley Unwin and Margaret Thatcher are among the lucky guests in the programme that refreshes the parts other shows cannot reach. Music in the Ratcave by Ultravox. Also featuring thef wonderful Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and the delectable Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).
The show the critics have acclaimed; loved by the masses, Roland is everyone's idea of a cuddly, adorable superstar. This week in the Ratcave Maureen goes on a blind date, courtesy of the Darcey de Farcey Digital Dating Service. Special rodent guest star is Brian Blessed in a sensitive re-enactment of A Tale of Two Cities, re-written by Roland for the televisual medium. Also featuring the wonderful Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and the delectable Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).
BBC3 swings into action once again with the hippest rodent this side of Hendon. This week's show is greatly enhanced with the arrival of cuddly, adorable... warthogs, who manage to make even Little Reggie look hygienic! Also, making a musical debut, is Colin the Flea. Colin denies owing his showbiz break to Roland and insists he worked his own way up from scratch.
Tonight the acting bug strikes Roland's incompetent crew. All of them deserve an award.... not for acting, but for keeping their names on the credits. Special rodent guest star is Ross Davidson in a multi-million pound remake of The Bridge on the River Kwai, Ross's first starring role since he kicked the bucket in EastEnders. Other guests include John Challis and Nik Kershaw , not to mention the irrepressible Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and the gorgeous Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).
Och aye, hooray for Fergie's show, It's on tonicht, didn't ye know. With Lulu and aforesaid Ferret, Who are very Scottish, to their credit. So all ye sassenachs with bagpipes sing,Three cheers for Fergie's highland fling R. BURNS Featuring Darcey McFarcey (JAMES SAXON), Maureen och aye the noo McConkey (ANNA KAREN), and of course star of tonight's highland fling, Fergie the Ferret.
Proudly presented by BBC3. Tonight's theme - Horror! This big-budget episode begins with a spine-chilling and blood-curdling sight.... and after Maureen, it continues to horrify until the final, climactic scenes. Little Reggie gets so scared. Iris can't change his nappies fast enough, but Roland insists that he's a supernatural superstar and not frightened of anything. Music in the ratcave tonight performed by the Stranglers. Plus special guests Richard O'Brien and Gary Wilmot. Not forgetting the ubiquitous Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and the tantalising nymphette Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN)
Thousands of letters flood into the Ratcave but one arrives which changes Roland's plans. As well as surprise guests and chart-topping sounds, Roland's dance troupe - The Sewer Sensation - feature in a musical extravaganza. Also starring Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).
Fed up with down-town King's Cross, Roland decides it's high time to screw more money out of the BBC, so he can film in exotic locations. Darcey finds an island in the Caribbean to shoot their latest multi-million dollar rodent James Bond extravaganza starring Leslie Ash as the beautiful Russian spy, and yes, you've guessed it, Roland Rat Superstar as 007. Plus Darcey de Farcey (James Saxon) and Maureen McConkey (Anna Karen) in the most expensive show this side of the Northern Line.
Do you need to wear a toupee to succeed in show business? Do rats believe in dentistry? The answers to these questions and many more will be revealed in the Ratcave tonight when Roland meets Dr Hans Q. Krakenspiner from Brussels. Special guest star is Frank Carson. Also starring Darcey de Farcey JAMES SAXON and Maureen Conkey ANNA KAREN
Darcey's long-lost brother Luigi Marcello de Farcey pays a visit to the Ratcave, and causes more than a little trouble to the beloved team of rodents. Music in the Ratcave is performed by the brilliant Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Plus special guest star, the wonderful Alexei Sayle. Plus the dashing Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and the little cutie Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).
Deep below King's Cross, wedding bells are ringing. Is Roland about to marry the girl of his dreams in this, the last Rodent spectacular in the current series? Music in the Ratcave is performed by Go West as well as Glenis the Guinea-pig. Special guest stars include Karen Kaye Garry Glitter and Samantha Fox. Plus Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).
Yes ratfans, it's time to put on your party hat and boogie on down to the Ratcave where Kevin the gerbil, Errol the hamster, Fergie the ferret and all the gang celebrate in style. 4 Will Roland succeed in rewriting the original Dickens' classic A Christmas Carol? Special guests include Brian Blessed, Chris Tarrant, Mike Read, Aled Jones and a host of others, not forgetting Darcey (James Saxon) and Maureen McConkey (Anna Karen).
Roland Rat Superstar with special guests June Whitfield , Chris Serle and Bananarama. The first of 13 wonderfully trendy rodent extravaganzas, set deep below London Town in Roland's high tech luxury sewer with a brand new film series Rodent Roving Report, where, this week Fergie joins the Army for the day. Plus other regular features, including the fabulous Rodent Pop Slot, with today's mega-guests Bananarama and the start of an exciting new six-part thriller serial Rat-Trap.
Roland Rat Superstar with special guests Graham Stark June Whitfield and Habit Yes, it's time for another brill, ace and skill Rodent extravaganza, direct from the Rat Cave. This week, Roxanne, a trendy new rodent from Liverpool, appears on the scene, plus a brand new band called Habit in the Rodent Pop Slot. Episode two of Roland's mystery thriller serial Rat-Trap and, as usual, a stream of interruptions from Iris and Freddy and the rest of the Rat Pack.
Starring Roland Rat Superstar with special guests June Whitfield, Mike Savage, the Kane Gang Monday is here Ratfans, so it's time for another action-packed entertainment extravaganza direct from the Rat Cave. This week the Rodent Roving Report comes from the Severn Valley Railway where Kevin and Roland have been sampling the delights of rail travel from a bygone age. Music in the Rat Cave is supplied by the Kane Gang plus episode 3 of the mystery thriller Rat-Trap. Plus the usual interruptions from the rest of the gang.
Roland Rat Superstar with special guests Ken Dodd , June Whitfleld the Communards Yes Ratfans, time to tune in to another brilliant, trendy, rodent extravaganza direct from the Rat Cave. This week Errol wants to be a comedian instead of working in VT, Roland decides that Errol desperately needs help, so Ken Dodd is summoned to give him some tips. Music in the Rodent Pop Slot is supplied by the Communards plus episode 4 of the mystery serial Rat-Trap. And, of course, there's the usual interruptions from Roland's mum and dad, and the rest of the gang.
Roland Rat Superstar with special guests Roy Kinnear June Whitfield Reginald Marsh Voice of the Beehive Yes, it's time for another brill, ace and skill rodent extravaganza, direct from the Rat Cave. This week's show is all about cars, and you can witness Roland taking his driving test, and his unusual encounter with a traffic warden. Music in the Rat Cave is supplied by Voice of the Beehive plus episode five of the mystery thriller Rat-Trap. As usual there are constant interruptions from the rest of the Rat-Pack.
starring Roland Rat Superstar with special guests June Whitfield, Ray Alan and Lord Charles, Then Jerico. Monday is here again rat fans, so it's time for another fun-packed entertainment extravaganza direct from the Rat Cave. Errol's Video Vault has given Roland an idea to expand his showbiz career so he's decided to become a ventriloquist. Ray Alan and Lord Charles come along to the Rat Cave to give some helpful hints. Music in the Rat Cave is supplied by Then Jerico, plus the final nail-biting episode of Rat-Trap. As usual, constant interruptions from the rest of the gang, not forgetting Roland's mum and dad.
Roland Rat Superstar with special guests Alfred Marks , Eighth Wonder Yes ratfans, time to tune in to another brilliant, trendy, rodent extravaganza direct from the Rat Cave. This week the Rodent Roving Report comes from the Fleet Air Arm Museum in Somerset, where Kevin and Roland have been looking over some of their historic aircraft and go for a surprise flight from the Royal Naval Air Station. Music in the Rodent Pop Slot is supplied by the gorgeous Patsy Kensit and Eighth Wonder. Plus episode one of a brand new adventure serial The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb. As usual, constant interruptions from the rest of the rat-pack.
Roland Rat Superstar with special guests Jessica Martin , Alfred Marks Pepsi and Shirlie Monday is here, ratfans. This week Fergie comes up with an ingenious plan to get a multitude of star guests on the show. Roxanne presents a new feature entitled Rox on the Box, when she takes a look at fashion. Music in the Rat Cave is supplied by Pepsi and Shirlie, plus episode 2 of The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb.
Starring Roland Rat Superstar with special guests Anneka Rice, Alfred Marks, Derek B Yes, it's time for another brill, ace and skill rodent extravaganza direct from the Rat Cave. This week, the Rodent Roving Report comes from Madame Tussaud's in London, where Kevin and Roland look for his wax model in the exhibition and in the process meet many famous stars. Anneka Rice drops in unexpectedly, looking for clues hidden in the Rat Cave. Music in the rodent Pop Slot is supplied by Derek B, plus episode three of the Egyptian adventure serial The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb. As usual, the rest of the gang get involved in the proceedings.
Roland Rat Superstar with special guests the Two Marks, Alfred Marks Harry Stoneham the Lilac Time Yes Ratfans, time to tune in to another brilliant, trendy, rodent extravaganza direct from the Rat Cave. This week Fergie decides he wants to become the first juggling ferret in showbiz, so he takes lessons from the Two Marks, with, of course, the usual disastrous results. Roxanne presents another Rox on the Box. This week her subject is hair fashions. Music in the Rat Cave is supplied by a fab new band the Lilac Time, plus episode 4 of the adventure serial The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb.
Starring Roland Rat Superstar with special guests Norman Collier, Alfred Marks, Prefab Sprout Monday is here ratfans. This week the Rodent Roving Report comes from the London Fire Brigade Training Centre where Fergie tries to learn to be a fireman for the day. It sounds like fun when Cedric, the new sound man, causes chaos in the Rat Cave, where music is supplied by Prefab Sprout in the Rodent Pop Slot. Egyptian adventure serial "The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb" reaches episode 5.
Roland Rat Superstar with special guests Nicholas Parsons Gilly Coman , Alfred Marks Frank Bruno , Roachford 'Well ratfans, it's the penultimate show this series. This week Kevin and Roxanne perform their Pink Bucket Reggae Song and if you'd heard it, you'd realise I had to put a stop to it. Roxanne ingeniously gets in touch with a couple of friends who save the day, unfortunately for me. Music in the Rodent Pop Slot is supplied by Roachford, plus the final episode of Curse of the Mummy's Tomb.
Roland Rat Superstar with special guests Pere Ubu 'Yes ratfans, Monday is here again and for the final time this series, your chance to watch a fab, trendy Rodent extravaganza. On this emotional occasion, the final Rodent Roving Report comes from the Ironbridge Gorge where Kevin and I have taken a step back in time to discover what it was like in Victorian times. Music in the Rat Cave is supplied by an American band, who have flown in especially for the show and are appearing for the first time on British TV, the fab and groovy Pere Ubu. Finally Mum and Dad are in a reflective mood and the series ends with a surprise music number by guess who! From all the gang till we meet again, I love ya lots, and what do we say - "Yeah!!"'
