1x19 Acquisition

[8.1/10] I’m going to put my nerd hat on here. [Readers: “You mean he wasn’t wearing his nerd hat before?”] This episode is such a cheat! Any Trekkie worth their salt knows that first contact between Starfleet and the Ferengi happened in the Next Generation era, with Gene Roddenberry wanting a new set of villains in that period to replace the Klingons and Romulans. The fact that the Ferengi here just say “it doesn't matter who we are” feels like a pretty paltry cover for the fact that contact is very much (occasionally disturbingly) being made here!

But that is a picayune criticism of what is otherwise a thoroughly delightful episode. (And I will take the head Ferengi using an energy whip as a nod to the species’s first appearance in TNG.) This is the first Enterprise episode I can think of that could be described as a straight up comedy or a caper, and it’s a mode of Trek I always enjoy. William Shatner wasn’t the world’s best dramatic actor, but put him in a silly episode like “A Piece of the Action” and he was right at home. And it was always tons of fun seeing the stuffier shirts of the TNG/DS9/Voyager triumvirate let down their hair and do some light comic bits for an episode.

Thankfully, the same holds true for Enterprise. Watching Trip, Archer, and T’Pol do their own little rendition of Home Alone, as a quartet of Ferengi mauraders incapacitate the crew and start nicking everything they can get their hands on from the ship, is a laugh and a half from beginning to end. The episode is near-perfectly paced, with changes in fortune, development of schemes and counter-schemes, and characters getting involved at a neat rhythm to keep things tense enough while also letting the humor of the setup build.

“Acquisition” is also a treat for longtime Trekkies like yours truly. Just getting to see Star Trek royalty like Ethan Phillips (Neelix from Voyager), Clint Howard (of “The Corbomite maneuver”), and Jeffrey Combs (Weyoung from DS9 and loads of other guest appearances in Trek) don the lobes and cavort around as Ferengi for forty-four minutes is an absolute treat. Seeing the three of them ham it up as backbiting, infighting, gold-grubbing aliens brings a great deal of humor and joie de vivre to this already wacky episode.

But I like that it also has a little bit of a story and arc. Don’t get me wrong, just seeing the main trio of Starfleet officers have to try to manipulate and cajole and hoodwink the Ferengi to get their shiip back makes for a good spine for the episode in and of itself. Archer having learned his lesson from their last Klingon encounter and talking like a Ferengi to get through to them is amusing to see. Trip running around in his underpants, reviving his crewmates, and leading the gold-hungry Ferengi in circle is some fun zaniness. And T’Pol pulling a Captain Kirk herself by using her wiles to get the edge on a captor, while also being perturbed at Archer’s playacting complaints about her, is an entertaining and different vibe for the subcommander.

(That said, especially considering we’re not far off from the genuinely problematic “Fusion” episode, it would be nice if Enterprise could do more than one episode in a row where T’Pol doesn't get violated and/or leered at. I know that the Ferengi lusting after women has long-been characteristic of their species in Star Trek, and it’s meant in a Benny Hill sort of way. Still, there’s something very uncomfortable about seeing Ferengi pirates caressing her ears sexually while she’s unconscious or discussed like she’s chattel, especially just one episode removed from her being subjected to the Vulcan equivalent of rape. Some of that is just the inevitable tonal inconsistency you get with Star Trek, but some of it was less-than-great choices made worse by the show’s poor track record with this sort of stuff.)

Still, this is probably the sharpest and craftiest we’ve ever seen Archer be. The Ferengi aren’t exactly quick on the draw here, but I love how he plants the seeds with Krem, the most inexperienced of the pirates, that eventually effect a minor face turn. Archer subtly suggests to Krem that he’s being screwed over by his friends and family, pointing out the unfairness of the shares from the raid, his cousin’s “father knows best” ways of taking advantage, and how Ferengi principles lend themselves to Krem getting the short end of the stick. The fact that he not only gets Krem to stick up for himself, but that it leads to Krem getting his own ship as he wanted and wished, is a really nice button to put on things for the antagonists. Archer isn’t exactly acting out of the kindness of his heart, but the episode makes Krem sympathetic enough that he both loses and wins enough to make it feel right.

Otherwise, it’s just fun how much Ferengi capering we get here. Apart from the story, it’s just amusing to see the large-lobed aliens picking their way across the NX-01, pilfering pecan pie and lugging whole torpedoes down hallways and even jacking chairs and benches right out of the bridge! There’s an exaggerated physicality to them, from their being startled at the medical bay to jostling past one another to get into the “vault” that makes them entertaining even when you don’t know what they’re saying. And seeing the Enterprise crew (or the awake portion of it anyway) have to walk, talk, and think like Ferengi to beat them makes for an engaging hour of silly sci-fi.

I may have my quibbles with how “Acquisition” fudges things with the human/Ferengi interaction timeline, but that’s a small price to pay for an episode this enjoyable. Every once in a while, the luminaries at Star Trek decide to set aside the high-minded exploration and personal development, and just let the writer and performers play around in this rich but deeply silly worlds. It leads to some of Star Trek’s most fun outings, and this is episode is very much included.