3x05 False Profits

[7.4/10] I’m a sucker for a good Ferengi farce. I know they’re not every Trekkies’ cup of tea. While Quark is a fan favorite on Deep Space Nine, there’s plenty of recriminations against “that Ferengi nonsense,” and it’s not hard to see why. They’re certainly more exaggerated, sometimes to the point of cartooniness, than your typically self-assured Starfleet officer. And their focus episodes tend to lean into comedy over action or drama, which often rankles fans who think Star Trek must always be Serious Business:tm:.

For me, though, Star Trek is a big tent. And I’m as up for the silliness of “The Trouble with Tribbles” or the ridiculousness of Captain Picard having to tolerate Lwaxana Troi, or even the childlike buffoonery of Neelix, as I am for the contemplative sci-fi and journeys of self-exploration.

So an episode where our upstanding Voyager crewmembers have to find creative means to extract a pair of interloping Ferengis who’ve corrupted a bronze age society, without disrupting the local mythology they’ve coopted, is right up my alley. And if that committedly goofy escapade connects with some inter-show continuity? So much the better.

I would never fault Voyager’s creative team if Janeway and company never ran into Arridor and Kol, the two Ferengi from TNG’s “The Price”, despite the fact that the prodigiously-eared duo are known to be stranded in the Delta Quadrant as well. It’s a big quadrant, and it’d be perfectly valid if they never crossed paths. But considering that Next Generation episode was one of the first mentions of the Delta Quadrant in Star Trek, it’s nice to see VOY picking up that loose thread.

The appearance of the two Ferengi feeds a great setup, where our heroes go from the excitement of meeting other Alpha Quadrant denizens so far from home, to realizing that their would-be cross-galaxy pals are a ridiculous problem to solve rather than possible allies in a strange land. On a more practical level, I appreciate the canon consideration of Voyager encountering a known wormhole between here and home, a tantalizing possibility for fans to consider.

Apart from the continuity connections though, “False Profits” is just darn fun. There’s a sense of cat-and-mouse to the proceedings. Chakotay and Tom investigate the mystery of what’s giving off advanced radiation on a primitive planet. Their efforts to merely examine the issue lead to suspiciously mercenary (and amusingly shoe-based) interactions with the locals, before stumbling upon the faux-benevolent Ferengi duo literally playing god. The twist is a hoot, and Arridor and Kol themselves have a rib-tickling dynamic with one another.

But these buffoons are not easily bested. Janeway’s creative legal tactics lead her to beam the pair on board Voyager and insist on hauling them away in the name of limiting Arridor and Kol’s damage to the native population. And yet, there’s cleverness in the tet-a-tet as Arridor points out that simply kidnapping them would render the locals hopeless and distraught to see their gods simply disappear.

What follows is a laugh-worthy farce where Neelix poses as the Grand Nagus’ proxy (presaging Ethan Phillips’ lobed-turn in Enterprise), trying to trick them into leaving voluntarily and offering reassuring goodbyes to the people. From there we get silly sword fights, true identity confessions, and a clever resolution that sees Neelix and company learn the local legend and complete the mythical prophecy in a way that makes the Ferengi “sages”’ disappearance palatable to the planet’s bronze age denizens.

All of this is light, breezy, and fun. The back-and-forth requires genuine guile and cleverness from both the Ferengi and their Starfleet counterparts. Seeing Ethan Philips ham it up as a Ferenginar functionary is a treat all its own, as is seeing him flustered and full of flop-sweat when the ruse starts to grow thin for the marks and the locals alike. The vibe and energy of these hijinks would not be at all out of place in classic Original Series outings like the famed tribble encounter, or especially the show’s comedic high water mark -- “A Piece of the Action”.

My only significant complaint is that the story goes on about one act too long, and the ending feels a little too serious and too convenient. Really, the exploits on the planet should have ended with Neelix, Tom, and Chakotay figuring out how to stage the end of the locals’ prophecy as an excuse to extradite the Ferengi. But presumably some producer insisted on there being more action and danger, so we have a perfunctory bit of faux-tension where Arridor, Kol, and Neelix are nearly burned at the stake before Chakotay and Paris can break the transporter-dampening field.

I guess it serves the purpose of not having to leave advanced tech behind, but for the most part, it plays like a tacked on bit of faux-action that drags on the farce just a little too long.

Likewise, I have mixed feelings about the Ferengis’ escape and disruption of the wormhole. So often, these possible routes home feel like “Lucy and the football” scenarios from Peanuts. As fans of Samurai Jack know, it’s entirely possible to make the means to get home seem tantalizingly close, while also coming up with meaningful and satisfying reasons our protagonist isn’t able to use them beyond simply “It would end the show.”

But everything here, from the Ferengi being able to just bonk their security escort into submission, to their ability to steal a shuttle out from under the crew’s noses, to the shuttle working considering it supposed crash landed, to their “gravitational pulse” disrupting the wormhole just enough that Voyager can’t use it anymore, to the Ferengi themselves getting sucked up into it before it closes forever, all seems like too tidy and too easy a way to prevent Voyager from returning to the Alpha Quadrant.

And if that weren’t enough, there's a tonal mishmash in having the tragedy of Janeway coming this close to leading her people home, matched with the farcical goings on of a pair of Ferengi charlatans who must trick and be tricked.

Still, that farce is worth the price of admission on its own. High concept comedies aren’t for everyone when it comes to their Star Trek fandom. Exaggerated characters, zany situations, and Vaudevillean schemes may not be your particular deal. But I’m glad it’s a part of Star Trek’s DNA, and one that livens up the danger and drama with a little something to laugh at.