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Private Notes
Leanne Murdoch arrives at Swift and Shift from Dubbo. It's her first day and she meets the good, the bad and the stinky who work in the call centre, the loading dock, the despatch area and of course the couriers. Keith Warne the depot manger is under fire from his new Regional Manager Amanda, he is told that he has six months to improve his ever failing depot. During the episode a massive Mambo painting is lost as well as the National Rugby League trophy.
A polar bear suit being couriered to a stage show is borrowed by Mario and Luigi to impress Luigi's latest girlfriend. All hell breaks loose when footage of Mario dancing in the suit is uploaded on YouTube. The newcomer Leanne is told to fill in for a sick despatcher and spends the day with the horny guys from despatch. The air conditioning becomes an issue with the phone room and despatch fighting over the thermostat. Keith finds out the twins are road raging his Regional Manager and boss Amanda. Abdullah Azar, the stinky courier, is told to buy a deodorant, George, the disabled worker is learning the forklift, and an angry gay florist wants his misplaced mushrooms.
Jonathon the CEO of the Tri-Mega Corporation, which owns Swift and Shift, realises that in order to obtain the Government funding he's applied for he needs to management train women, ethnics and the disabled. Keith and Amanda hand pick staff to attend a day of management training. But, after a car accident, obesity issues and a general lack of IQ it is decided that the Swift and Shift staff are useless and Amanda hires the trainers as efficiency managers instead.
Swift and Shift has two brand new efficiency managers, Damien and Karen, who change the computer and logistics system. Unfortunately the system crashes and shuts down the depot. The only courier working is Mario who has to deliver a realistic looking sex doll to a farmer in a small town called Gallops Crossing.
Regional manager Amanda is organising a charity dinner, with a vintage children's rocket ride as the main auction item. Mario is on a job picking up a motor scooter from a cross-eyed man, when Keith calls him to pick up the rocket. When Mario's van breaks down, he must tow the rocket ride around the CBD on top of the client's motor scooter. There is also a mysterious yoghurt thief among the office staff.
Swift and Shift offers to transport the ashes of an Australian soldier killed in Iraq back to Australia as a publicity stunt to promote the company. Keith chooses Mario and Melissa as the team that will go overseas. On the way to Egypt, where the army accidentally sent the ashes, Mario and Melissa's flight is forced to land due to a random tsunami.
Mario and Melissa continue their journey to Cairo. Delayed by a terrorist attack and after getting lost en route to the secret army base, Mario and Melissa's taxi breaks down allowing them to visit the pyramids where they are robbed by their drivers who think they are transporting drugs.
Everyone is unhappy. David the Dwarf wants a bigger chair and is refused, he then calls Works Cover on the grounds the depot is unsafe. Sole wants to quit after being given one too many difficult deliveries. Abdul wants to kill Alex the despatcher and quit after being bitten by an infidel dog. Keith is under fire as a safety inspector from Works Cover is called to inspect Swift and Shift. And Renzo is rumoured to be having an affair with the mysterious shoe lady.
Keith organises a Swift and Shift Xmas party, not realising that Amanda is planning to fire him. Mario starts a war with a road safety worker, and the twins and Melissa plan a bout of break and enter skinny-dipping. On the way to fire Keith, a tipsy Amanda smashes into a car and is busted by Murray the Cop, an ex-employee of Swift and Shift whom she fired. Can Amanda broker a deal to get out of the... situation
