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Private Notes
Jamie poses as a pathetic white rapper who wants to marry a far more sophisticated woman, much to her family's dismay; Jamie hosts a phony infomercial in which he asks audience members to endorse the product he supposedly invented... after it blows up in someone's face; Jamie interviews an applicant for a job, but having just had "jaw surgery", he's wearing an awkward jaw brace that renders him hideous, unable to speak... and constantly drooling.
As a flamboyant casting director, Jamie auditions an actor who's made an indecent proposal by the (considerably older) casting assistant; Jamie appears on a phony dating show (hosted by Whose Line's Jeff Davis) as a meek geek who still lives with his parents; at a funeral, Jamie tries to steal a valuable ring... from the guest of honor, who's wearing it, enlisting the aid of an innocent bystander.
Jamie poses as a mobster who hires a new pizza boy to work for his "family owned business"; Jamie hires a man whose job is to fire people... and then Jamie fires HIM; Jamie pays a bunch of strangers to be his friends for his birthday party. By the way, their native language is Spanish and their English is pretty bad... and Jamie's just the opposite.
Jamie poses as a senile television judge whose catchphrase "I'm very confused" speaks volumes about his judicial skills; Jamie poses as an inept driving instructor who gets his student mixed up with his violent ex-wife and cross-dressing brother; Jamie dons the jaw brace once again, this time as a waiter, who, as before, can't speak or control his saliva.
Jamie proposes to his girlfriend on the big screen at a college basketball game, only for her to say "No" and walk away; with the help of an unsuspecting innocent, Jamie gets busted by the FBI for running a pyramid scheme; a man's endurance, and horniness, is tested when he tries to hook up with a woman (portrayed by actress/comedienne Lesli Margherita) who makes all manner of disgusting bodily noises and gestures; and in "The Brad Gluckman International", Jamie takes his "Malibu Eminem" role to the country club for a game of golf (or is that "gizzolf"?).
Skinny white male Jamie Kennedy becomes fat black female talk show host Virginia Hamm (think Oprah with an attitude); Jamie is the losing contestant on a game show in which his opponent gives him an electric shock every time he misses a questio... and when it's Jamie's turn to shock said opponent, it doesn't work; Jamie leads a Hollywood tour in which he breaks into Bob Saget's house, encountering booze, dead animals, homemade porn... and an irate TV dad.
"Judge Jamie" returns, and this time he has so much trouble figuring out which litigant to believe that he asks the bailiff to render the verdict; "Jaw man" is back, hosting and participating in a wine tasting ceremony (oh, the humanity!); Jamie poses as an aging Italian restaurateur who tries his best to get up close and personal with a patron's girlfriend.
Meet Shannon and Gavin. Shannon wants to convince her boyfriend Gavin that he should let her cousin move in with them for a few months. The problem? Her cousin is that famous Malibu rapper, Brad Gluckman! Jamie poses as an obnoxious guest star on Off Centre, intending all along to "X" the show's star, Sean Maguire. The tables get turned, however, when Sean recognizes Jamie from a JKX promo and proceeds to "X" him! Sean not only "X-ed" Jamie the first time Jamie ever got "X-ed", but he "X-ed" his co-stars as well, who were all in on Jamie's prank and didn't know that Sean had figured Jamie out! Jamie assumes the role of the boss once more, and this time the temp must cover up the fact that Jamie's been cheating on his wife...with men, no less.
Christine and her fiancee go to a photo studio to have their pictures taken. But the photographer's grandfather, Jamie in disguise, believes that Christine looks just like his dear, departed ex-wife, and in his senility, takes the resemblance way too far. Jamie poses as a Hollywood television producer who is pitching an idea to parents who might like their children to be on his show. So what is the show, exactly? Child Island: A Lord of the Flies-type of Survivor for kids! The episode concludes with another installment of Virginia Hamm's talk show.
This episode was filmed on location in Panama City, Florida, where Jamie set out to "X" college students on spring break. Scott, our first unsuspecting mark of the episode, meets Kathy (played by the lovely Joannah Portman), who invites him to her hotel room. However while she's in the shower, her father, a bald Jamie, appears and tries to get Scott to tell a ventriloquist's dummy his real intentions with Kathy! Then there's James, whose friend has just set him up with the spacy single Colleen... who's actually Jamie in drag. And finally, a crowd of vacationing rock fans are led to believe they're attending a Creed concert. The joke's on them when "Creed" turns out to be Kris Kreed, a hippie folk singer played by Jamie and accompanied by co-writer Blaine Capatch on guitar.
"Judge Jamie" delivers his own unique brand of justice once more, except instead of being a senile old man, his pretty young female litigants have made him a horny old man! Wonder why they didn't charge him with sexual harrassment? "Kyle" (Jamie) and his friend Kathy give a new-age kind of massage that involves riding their client's back, singing out of tune, and chanting loudly, and the poor guy they're massaging can't see anything they're doing. Jamie poses as a spaced-out rock musician who disturbs a local restaurant with the ringing of his cell phone and his loud speaker phone conversations. Finally, Jamie disguises himself as a member of a test audience for a new TV show... a mean-spirited, totally unfunny version of The Jamie Kennedy Experiment, in which the pranks include urinating on an innocent pedestrian from a rooftop.
JKX sketches are usually done at least three times, with different marks. In this episode, we got to see alternate outcomes of skits featuring Brad Gluckman ("Pilot"), the pizza mobster ("Show 3"), and the Spring Break Dad ("Show 10").
Jamie transforms himself into a yoga instructor who, in helping a female student get into the right position, demonstrates a position that can be used for more than just yoga! Afterwards, a group of noisy construction workers prompts Jamie to lose his cool... which in turn prompts one of them to go on an ass-whoopin' spree! Virginia Hamm ("Show 6," "Show 9") delivers her own style of daytime talk once again. A temp starts a new job at a flower shop, only to find himself helping his boss' wife steal money so she can run off with the delivery boy (Jamie). Finally, the "massage" skit from "Show 11" is reprised, except this time Kyle and Kathy break up over Kathy's client... literally.
Meet Rocky and Heidi. Rocky takes Heidi to a couples therapist (Jamie) to "X" her. But when Rocky's away, Jamie lets Heidi in on the joke! She and Jamie proceed to "X" Rocky, with the help of JKX writer, creator, and producer Adam Small. Skit two features the same couples therapist with a different (unnamed) couple. The guy sets out to "X" his girlfriend, but right before the skit begins, he tells her what he's up to. Like that's gonna stop Jamie and Adam from "X-ing" them anyway! That old massage bit from "Show 11" is back (God, how many variations of this skit are there?). This time, "Kyle" shows up drunk and pretends to throw up on the mark, who, as usual, can't see a damn thing. And "Judge Jamie" justice is served once more, but, as in "Show 7", it's the bailiff that renders the verdict. Oh, and Jamie decides to gay up his act a little, just for good measure.
As the English choreographer Davey Grimes, Jamie devises some bizarre halftime moves for The Laker Girls; Jamie helps a woman get back at her practical joker of a boyfriend by "X-ing" him on a Change of Heart-type dating show; "Kyle and Kathy" make their final appearance of the season and this time the unwitting massage client finds himself in a near-threesome with the dreaded duo!
Meet Gina Lecher. She is on a This Is Your Life-type show (hosted by Cheers' George Wendt) to "X" her parents...'nuff said!. Olympic speed skater Apollo (or is that Apolo?) Ohno and his friend take a ride with Jamie, who plays an offbeat limousine driver with a dysfunctional family. As the English choreographer Davey Grimes (see "Show 15"), Jamie coaches a bunch of exotic dancers for their trial run in front a group of horny women... horny women who have been told by Jamie to applaud him and boo the other guys!
In the first season finale, Jim Belushi helps Jamie "X" a mark who's brought her dog to see a quack pet psychiatrist, Jamie, of course! "Judge Jamie" re-emerges as a rude, foul-mouthed, hot tempered lunatic who never lets the litigants finish a sentence. Brad Gluckman has a problem you never thought he'd have... he can't get the mark to pay attention to him! At the end of the show, many of the marks from the first season join Jamie on stage for a clipfest down memory lane.
