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Private Notes
Nora is forced to apply for a position as photographer for the sleazy tabloid ""the Comet"" after refusing her wealthy husband's divorce settlement and then discovering he has blackballed her from work with respectable newspapers.
Nora tries to get a job as a respectable photo journalist but her desires are spoiled when she spots Tom Hanks with his fly stuck. ""Give it up, Gump!"" she screams while dancing on a tabletop shooting photos of Hanks.
It's an Elvis sighting of the most unusual kind - a scientist reveals that he has a frozen vial of the King's preserved sperm, and Camilla thinks Nora would make a great mother of a little King of rock 'n' Roll. In a cameo appearance, Betty White accedes graciously to Nora's request for a photo opportunity - then pushes her out of a moving car.
Nora's ex-husband visits to discuss financial matters and seduces Nora, who might be convinced to give him another chance - until she meets his fiancée.
When Camilla and Nora sneak into a morgue to get exclusive shots disguised as medical staff, Nora is called upon to begin an autopsy on a recently deceased television personality - who revives under her touch.
Nora plays power broker when a pig she's saved from the slaughterhouse becomes a commodity in the entertainment industry.
Dave wants Nicky to teach him how to pick up women after Nora is picked up by a guy with the perfect line. Nora tells him he just needs to be himself and takes him on an ""instructional date"" to prove it. When Dave falls out a window onto Tawny Kitaen's limo, he gets a chance to put what he's learned into practice.
When Nora decides to throw a party for her former society friends, trouble crawls out of the woodwork; meanwhile, a lawsuit against ""the Comet"" has Camilla fuming.
Nora is thrown into turmoil after her parents' unexpected visit affects not only her sex life but her professional life as well: after interrupting a tryst with Nora's new interest (and advising him to masturbate when he gets home), Nora's parents buy her a new couch, find her a new townhouse, and arrange to get her a new job teaching at UCLA. Meanwhile, Nora covers an anthropologist's marriage to an ape, and helps the gang get photos outside a porn theater of an irate Bob Saget.
Nora's double date of sorts with Siamese twins backfires, leaving Camilla without a story; a discussion of motherhood could cost Chloe her friendship with Nora.
Big-time movie actor Dylan Michael Michaels begins wooing Nora - and claims that it's not just because she has compromising photos of him.
The holidays are anything but happy for Nora: she's stuck in a sewer looking for giant alligators, she misses her family, and her slip of the lip with ""the Comet's"" owner has just cost Camilla her job by revealing that she let scruples persuade her not to publish Chelsea Clinton's private diary.
T.J.'s van is hijacked while Nora and Dave are in it, sending Nora in search of self-defense training - and Dave is search of a new best friend.
Nora's new boyfriend loses his appeal when he reveals that he is from another galaxy; Nora runs into an old friend who has become a nun.
A bar fight lands Nicky in the hospital with a broken finger, but a mistake sends him home a new man with an unwanted circumcision - and the female hormones he must take until he heals expose a feminine side that Nora finds irresistible.
Nora's good intentions are put to the test when she agrees to wear a bubble suit to help find a cure for a rare diseases - and then learns some troubling facts about the doctor in charge of the experiment.
Nora finds the mantle of responsibility to fit uncomfortably when her promotion at ""the Comet"" puts her in charge of T.J., Dave and Nicky, but she can't get any respect from her co-workers.
Camilla has plans for the tabloid's newly divorced owner, but her scheming sister Felicia seems to have beaten her to the punch, bringing their long-standing sibling rivalry to a head.
Dave gets a visit from his shady twin brother Intelligent Dave, who has big plans for the huge inheritance check Dave just received; Nora can't get rid of an annoying boyfriend.
Romantic sparks fly between Nora and Nicky when they impersonate a pair of French filmmakers to sneak into a gala awards show - she with a camera hidden in her bra and he with one hidden in his crotch.
Les takes over and wastes no time making some changes. Among them: Nora is shifted from photographer to advice columnist; and the magazine is going to become (gasp!) respectable.
Tom Arnold punches Dave for taking his picture on the street. But when Nora writes an article about the incident, Arnold decides to show her how the other half lives.
Nick and Nora pose as husband and wife so that Nora can adopt a cat from a paranoid breeder who wants her kittens to grow up in a ""nurturing environment.""
Nora's parents pay a surprise visit, but they're the ones who are surprised when they learn that younger daughter Lizzie has broken off her engagement and taken off for Las Vegas.
Nora prepares to celebrate her 29th birthday, but the cake is one candle short-Catherine tells her daughter that she's really about to turn 30.
Heaven help the sister who comes between Lizzie and her mister-in this case, Dave. But Nora wants to nip that romance in the bud.
Nora throws a barbecue to celebrate an increase of 20,000 in the Comet's circulation; but the fire goes out when she learns that Les has been buying the additional copies himself.
Nora's chance to prove herself as a photographer doesn't develop into much, especially since a reporter for a competing magazine seems to know her every move.
A bald eagle finds its way to a tree outside Nora's bedroom window and doesn't know how endangered it is when its squawking keeps her awake all night.
It's the least wonderful time of the year; tax time, and Nora owes a bundle. So to earn some extra cash, she moonlights as a food server with a catering company.
We'll take parental guidance for $100, Alex. Les's dad shows up to run the Comet, and Nora's folks arrive so Fred can try out for ""Jeopardy!""
When Les assigns Nora to follow a celebrity to a health spa, she uncovers a nudist colony-and a couple of familiar faces.
Nora runs with a tip she gets about a TV star's infidelities. But when the star sues for libel, Nora must identify the story's source-or go directly to jail.
Camilla takes the reins at the National Inquisitor and hires Nora to be the top reporter. Meanwhile, Nora's ex wants another chance at romance.
Hey, jealousy! The staff suspects that Nora gets special treatment from Camilla. But a plan to quell the envy backfires when Camilla starts abusing Nora ""like any other employee.""
Reports by Nora that Norman Fell is dead are greatly exaggerated, and the TV-star shows up in person to tell her. Meanwhile, Dave runs into his ""big crush"" from high school.
Jake meets Nora's beautiful college roommate, who's one ferocious Fraulein. But while he's out romancing the Hun, Nora is stuck doing his work.
Nora's ex-husband, Leland, is remarrying and invites her to the wedding. But upon meeting the bride, Nora swears she's seen that face before.
Nora and Jake pose as newlyweds to stake out a Paris-bound plane that's supposed to have a reclusive celebrity booked in first class.
When a beautiful but temperamental celebrity adopts Nora as her ""new best friend,"" Camilla smells a story and orders Nora to ""stick with her until you find it.""
Amid a flurry of favor-doing, Harris ends up researching a genealogy and learns that Bradley is not related to der Bingle, but to der Fuhrer.
Nora finally gets her chance to write a cover story: a profile of the Baldwin brothers based on an interview with Duane, the ""loser Baldwin.""
Nora hopes she can stay afloat while interviewing four survivors of the Titanic. Meanwhile, Jake is bothered by a ribald dream.
Nora gets some strange looks-and an unusual sense of confidence-when she's lassoed into wearing the original Wonder Woman costume for an evening.
Camilla and Nora check out a tip that a plastic surgeon to the stars has been lifting more than faces: he likes to peek at the celebs while they're out cold on the table.
Nora fudges whether Mary Kay of Mary Kay Cosmetics owns eight dogs or nine dogs. At her request, Harris lets it slide and the Inquisitor is sued. The publisher brings in an incompetent ombudsman to oversee Harris' every move and decision. (Favorite joke: Harris and the fact checker argue over whether a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable. Camilla calms them by exclaiming, ""Gentlemen, please! We had the same argument about J. Edgar Hoover when he slipped into a coma."") Nora feels guilty and agrees to do a favor for Harris in return. Harris asks her to get eight of a specific type of bird from pet stores around town. On her mission, Nora learns the importance of being precise as she encounters one instance of misinformation and incompetence after another. She ultimately fails to bring Harris the precise number of birds he requested, but learns an appreciation for the exactness of his life and work. Jake and Camilla decide to act on Jake's sexual dream about her. But first, Camilla insists h
Dave complains about his long commute to Nora, who suggests he check out the apartment across from her which is now vacant. He takes it. Nora's jealous of the huge bath in Dave's apartment and he offers to let her use it whenever she wants. He also springs some exciting news on her -- he's engaged to Christy -- his old high school flame that he hooked up with in ""Bully For Dave."" Nora insists on throwing them a party. The next night when Dave comes home, he finds Nora in his bathtub. Christy walks in on them and assumes they're having an affair. Dave tries to convince her and Nora helps, suggesting that she doesn't find Dave at all sexually attractive. In fact, he looks like Fred Mertz. Christy's fears are put aside -- but when Dave goes to kiss her, all she can hear is Nora's comparison of him to Lucy's bald, fat, old neighbor. Dave is beside himself as the days go on. She won't even sleep with him. He insists that -- at their engagement party -- Nora come on to him, to show Christy h
Bradley stuns the office by selling a screenplay for a million dollars. Nora can't believe such a no-talent could actually be considered a writer. Bradley overhears and is devastated. The next day he gets notes from the studio -- and they agree with Nora. Nora offers to help Bradley. Collaborating with Bradley, however, proves more difficult than she imagined -- as they have to overcome his mannered, ineffective work habits and inane story sense. Eventually, she gets him to incorporate a very personal story of her youth to deepen the film. The studio ends up hating the new draft, however, and, in desperation, Bradley suggests throwing in a talking horse. Nora's horrified. But the studio loves it. The show ends ""a year later,"" where Bradley and Nora watch the movie play out. It's Nora's personal story done with a talking horse. And she's moved. Dave's poker ace sister comes to town and takes an immediate liking to Jake. Dave gets Jake to take his sister out. She aggressively insists Jak
Nora infuriates a powerful publicist when her car splashes mud on the woman. Camilla insist Nora apologize or the paper risks the wrath of this harpy. They try to apologize, but the publicist refuses to accept. Indignant, Nora insults her -- bringing down the woman's full anger on them. The Inquisitor is frozen out by everyone in town and -- with a deadline fast approaching -- has nothing for their cover. Desperate, everyone fans out to find something: Jake and Harris go undercover as men's' room attendants in a posh Beverly Hills hotel; Dave and Suji pose as husband and wife to meet with Pamela Lee and Tommy Lee's therapist; Nora meets the most pathetic PR man in Hollywood; and Bradley dresses up in his old Bigfoot costume. Nothing works and Nora decides to swallow her pride and grovel to the PR maven. An apology isn't enough, however. The PR woman insist that Nora work out on the over-sized woman's Stair-Master while singing ""Yankee Doodle Dandy"" -- while the woman throws mud at her.
Jake enters a celebrity pool tournament to see if it's rigged or not. Nora goes with him as a ""chalk girl."" While hot-dogging it in a match with Gary Coleman, however, Jake whacks himself in the eye with a cue stick. Nora must take his place -- and her deep secret is revealed. She's a pool shark with a nasty competitive edge. After wiping the floor with Gary Coleman, she works her way to the finals to face Trisha Yearwood. Jake convinces her to throw the match to salvage their story. Nora reluctantly agrees. But when Trisha Yearwood gloats about her skill, Nora can't take it and a brawl ensues. Philosophical back at the bar, each nursing their separate bruises, Nora challenges Jake to a game of pool. Jake is just as bad as before and Nora offers to show him how to shoot better. There's a brief connection between them as she holds his hands, gliding the pool stick. Suji and Harris both want a deceased worker's office. Suji suggests they emulate a van contest she saw at a mall, where who
Nora challenges Harris' skepticism of all things mystical and takes him to see a tarot card reader. Harris is unimpressed with the reader's seemingly keen insights into him. Nora, however, is devastated when the seer tells her she will ""never find true love. Ever."" Trying to get Nora out of her funk, the office decides to pull names out of a hat for the New Year's Eve Party at Wong's Restaurant (resurrected from the first season) with each person bringing a blind date for the other. Things work out badly for everyone -- especially Nora, who, through Bradley's error, ends up not getting a date at all. Ready to throw in the towel, Nora opens her fortune cookie, which reads, ""You will find true love."" Ecstatic, Nora leaves to phone her mother. Everyone opens their fortune cookies and finds the same fortune. Harris admits to ""rigging the cookies,"" but refuses to be dubbed a sentimentalist by the others.
Tensions at the office reach the boiling point. Nora suggests bringing in a group therapist to help. Everyone gets angrier at having to give up their Saturday for the therapist and a session meant to provoke honest communication deteriorates into a nasty, name-calling, finger-pointing affair. Nora leaves, angry and disappointed in the others. When she returns to work on Monday, she finds a changed office of nice, friendly people helping each other. Jake explains that after she left, everyone was shamed into trying to make the workplace a little more hospitable. Unfortunately, nice people don't make great tabloid reporters and the paper's newest edition is terrible. Camilla is furious at Nora for wreaking havoc on a system that worked and rallies the group to be the awful people they were born to be. Nastiness is what makes them special. It's their gift. Nora has to admit Camilla's got a point.
Jake's old rival -- Colin -- is having an illicit affair with Nora. When the office finds out, they're infuriated. He works for a tabloid TV show as a reporter -- he might steal a story from them through Nora. Nora's insulted at the suggestion. Meanwhile, Jake and Camilla's secret affair becomes very public knowledge when they become inadvertently locked outside after a late night tryst on the balcony. They are found naked the next day by a stunned collection of workers. Nora lambastes Camilla for her hypocrisy about secret affairs, but they make up and agree to all go out to dinner together. While at dinner, it comes out that Colin and Jake competed over everything. And that one of the reasons Colin went after Nora was that he heard Jake thought she was attractive. Jake denies it, but Nora won't let it go, grilling Colin about whether he's dated her because of her or because of Jake. Meanwhile, Camilla tells Jake they have to break things off. Now that they've been discovered, the thr
Jake and Nora drink ""Scotch floats"" in her apartment and share their tales of broken relationships -- Jake with Camilla and Nora with Colin. Upon leaving, they have an unintentional goodnight kiss. The next day at work, things are awkward and both decide to pretend as if it never happened. Colin comes to Jake desperate. He's in love with Nora. Jake's got to help him. Jake supplies Colin with advice on the things Nora likes -- which Colin is clueless about -- and how to win her back. He surprises himself with how much he actually knows about her. Colin sets about wooing Nora back -- and succeeds. All is forgiven. Suji reprimands Jake for doing this. It's obvious he's got a thing for Nora. And if he doesn't act on it, he'll always regret it. Jake agrees and finds Nora at the restaurant she's meeting Colin at. He explains to her that he told Colin what to do and how to win her back, but Nora dismisses it as part of their stupid competitiveness. Jake leaves, disgusted. Colin arrives and ov
The show opens at night, with everyone sitting in a hot air balloon. Nora dictates into a tape recorder that they are lost and no longer with food or water. She sets about explaining how they got there. We dissolve back in time and find Jake and Nora in bed together -- having the worst sex either has ever had. After talking it over, they try again -- with no improvement. Debating about trying a third time, they're called to work at this ungodly hour by their beepers. At work, Camilla explains that Barbra Streisand is getting married today in Malibu. It's the tabloid story of the year. Unable to get there by any other means, they decide to infiltrate by hot air balloon. Suji's boyfriend, Leo (from ""Neighbor of Bath"") operates one. The balloon strays horribly off course. Not only are they not going to get their story -- it looks like they might die as well. Scared and depressed, they confront their fate -- discussing their regrets in life and their fear of what lies ahead. Nora admits th
