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Private Notes
Dave and Titus panic when they realize their dad, Ken, hasn't come out of the bedroom in four days, not even to get a beer. They dare each other to go into the bedroom and make sure...but neither one wants to discover the body. Soon Erin arrives--just a little peeved that she took the message "Dad's dead" to mean her own dad. As a result, she rushed to her parents' house, only to catch them having sex! Erin's stunned to hear that Ken's dead, but she's also too chicken to actually investigate. Meanwhile, Titus and Dave reflect on their old man's parenting skills, or lack thereof. Ken never missed a beer or a babe, but he also never missed a little league game or a school function. Erin remembers that Ken recently gave her his will. Could it have been a planned suicide? Terminal illness? They obsess over the possibilities until Tommy arrives. He's visibly shaken and equipped with comfort food. The foursome eat their cake and reminisce. Titus and Dave even role-play, poking fun at Ken's gruff nature. They all have a big laugh until Ken strolls out in his bathroom, pops open a beer and tells them all to keep it down--he's trying to sleep.
Titus believes that Erin is cheating on him and goes to her place of work to confront her about the situation.
Titus explains that screwed-up people need translators to communicate with the ""normal"" people, because expressions of dysfunctional love come in odd forms. Case in point: Ken has Dave thrown in jail for grand theft because he took the VCR. Ken didn't know Dave was moving out until all of his son's stuff was gone. So, Titus explains, by having Dave arrested, Ken was just saying how empty the house would feel without him. At the police station, Ken discovers that it was Titus who told Dave to secretly move. Titus is proud of his achievement and admits to packing up the truck with Dave's stuff--and Ken's VCR. As an expression of pride in his eldest son, Ken has Titus arrested as an accomplice! Finally, Erin arrives and gets Ken to drop all charges. Then she realizes that with Dave out of the house, Ken will have more time to spend with her and Titus. Titus tries to snowball Dave with a story about how their dad is dying and needs company. Not until Titus promises Dave a new DVD player a
Relationships are the theme for this latest chapter in Christopher Titus' unpredictable world. His philosophy: ""I don't deserve happiness, so how can I destroy it?"" A small fight with live-in girlfriend Erin turns into a larger fight and ends when Titus storms out of the house. He drowns his sorrows at the local diner with a piece of pie...and a piece of the cute waitress, Tiffany! The next day, he returns back to Erin and they reconcile. Just as they're about to officially ""make up,"" Tiffany calls and Erin explodes. In a desperate attempt to fix things, Titus tells Erin that the waitress looked like her, only younger. Bad move. Titus is saved by the bell when they receive another phone call, from Erin's ex-boyfriend Randy. Seems he and Erin were together the previous night. So, Titus and Erin both had breakup flings. Things should be even, but Titus won't let it go. They have another huge fight that escalates into insults, ugly truths and cruel comparisons between them and their paren
Despite growing up with Ken the ""dream stomper,"" Titus has realized his dream of building hotrods. Unfortunately, his latest client--a trendy Web designer--wants to add an oversized spoiler/wing to the top of his custom car. Even though the client is offering an insane amount of money, Titus refuses to do the addition because it will destroy the artistic integrity of his work. Titus argues with Dave and Tommy, who have been slaving over the car and want the money. But Titus refuses to sell out. When Titus gets accidentally pinned underneath the car, Tommy calls Ken to bring over a jack. While Ken takes Polaroids of his trapped son, he encourages Tommy and Dave to take advantage of the situation...and do the work on the car themselves. They do, and it's hideous. When the client arrives, it's Tommy who tells him they won't release the car. And it's Titus who gives in once he sees all the zeroes on the payment check!
Titus builds a custom car to give to his father on his birthday. Erin, Dave, Tommy and Titus drive the car up to Napa to meet Ken for dinner. On the way, Titus demonstrates the car's power (and his own machismo) by cutting off a passing vehicle. The car they cut off reacts by tailing them and eventually bumping the car. The road rage escalates until Erin finally convinces Titus to just pull over and put some space between them and the psycho. They pull over, inspect the dented fender and head back onto the highway. However, the psycho car has waited for them and is soon riding their bumper and flashing its headlights. Titus decides to pull over and confront the psycho like a mature adult (translation: kick his ass), but psycho guy pulls a gun! Titus, Tommy and Dave run back to the car and floor it. With the psycho in hot pursuit and bullets flying, Erin calls 9-1-1. The police finally stop the road rager and Titus finally gets everyone to Ken's dinner. But Ken, who is pissed that the
Titus' mom, a diagnosed manic-depressive schizophrenic, surprises Titus and Erin by showing up uninvited. Titus is immediately suspicious and tells Erin to follow the ""drill"" that they've practiced for just this occasion. After a little bonding with Titus' mom, Juanita, Erin thinks Titus is overreacting. Luckily, Tommy and Dave - who did follow the drill - have arrived as backup. It only takes a few moments, and some yummy home-cooked yams, to convince Tommy and Dave that Juanita is cured. Tommy is satisfied that her medication is powerful enough to control her violent outbursts. Titus can't believe how gullible everyone is! Finally, Ken arrives and seems to agree that Juanita will always be a psycho regardless of drug therapy. Then, he sees her and within minutes they're making out in the kitchen. After Titus and his mom have a heart-to-heart, everything seems to be okay. However, soon after a big dinner, the groggy group discovers that Juanita dumped her medicine into the gravy - so
Christopher grows concerned when his father's lack of drinking turns the elder Titus into a mild-mannered, boring guy. In an effort to get his mean-spirited, mischievous dad back, Titus stages an intervention with Dave, Tommy and Erin's reluctant help. They surprise Ken at home and beg him to admit he has a ""non-drinking problem."" Nothing seems to work — not even a visit from Ken's boss who tells him he's not as effective sober. Ken assures them that he can start drinking whenever he wants.
Finally, Christopher hands him a beer and throws down the gauntlet, calling Ken a ""wussy."" Ken takes a drink and, as the alcohol fog rolls in, gets his fighting spirit back. As a special thank you to his concerned friends and family, Ken reveals their darkest secrets: Titus embezzled money from the company to invest in a car, and lost it when the car was smashed in a hit and run; Erin's worried Titus will snap just like his lunatic mother; and Dave is the one who hit Titus' car! The intervention qui
Some people share a family talent, like cooking or singing. The Titus family talent is heart attacks. Ken has had three, so when he has another one and crashes his car, no one is too shocked.
The shock comes later, when Tommy tells Christopher that his dad blames him. Long story short: Ken couldn't start his boat because Chris and Dave took the distributor cap; Ken got upset; hence the heart attack. Christopher refuses to take the blame and confronts his dad about the excessive alcohol and cigarette use that perhaps had more to do with his bad ticker. Suddenly, Ken's monitor flatlines!
But Ken is fine: it was the guy in the other bed who died. Titus feels horrible and offers to give his dad his cherry '56 Chevy to make up for the car accident. Later, while talking to an officer about the accident, the cop offers photos taken when Ken ran the red light — photos that clearly show him engaged in a sex act with a woman in the front seat!
Titus, Dave and Erin enact their revenge by ordering
