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Two and a Half Men

Season 7 2009 - 2010

  • 2009-09-22T01:00:00Z on CBS
  • 25 mins
  • 7 hours, 32 mins
  • United States
  • English
  • Comedy

The seventh season of Two and a Half Men premiered in the United States on September 21, 2009, and in Australia on September 28, 2009.

22 episodes

7x01 818-JKLPUZO

  • Season Premiere

    2009-09-22T01:00:00Z — 21 mins

Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.

When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.

7x03 Mmm, Fish. Yum.

  • 2009-10-06T01:00:00Z — 19 mins

Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.

Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.

7x05 For the Sake of the Child

  • 2009-10-20T01:00:00Z — 21 mins

Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.

7x06 Give Me Your Thumb

  • 2009-11-03T02:00:00Z — 20 mins

Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.

7x07 Untainted By Filth

  • 2009-11-10T02:00:00Z — 22 mins

Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.

7x08 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

  • 2009-11-17T02:00:00Z — 20 mins

While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.

Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.

Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.

7x11 Warning, It's Dirty

  • 2009-12-16T02:00:00Z — 19 mins

Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, whose girlfriend is away for Christmas.

Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.

7x13 Yay, No Polyps!

  • 2010-01-19T02:00:00Z — 20 mins

Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.

7x14 Crude and Uncalled For

  • 2010-02-02T02:00:00Z — 21 mins

Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.

7x15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

  • 2010-02-09T02:00:00Z — 22 mins

Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.

7x16 Tinkle Like a Princess

  • 2010-03-02T02:00:00Z — 21 mins

Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.

7x17 I Found Your Moustache

  • 2010-03-09T02:00:00Z — 21 mins

Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.

7x18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day

  • 2010-03-23T01:00:00Z — 21 mins

Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.

Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.

7x20 I Called Him Magoo

  • 2010-05-11T01:00:00Z — 21 mins

Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"

7x21 Gumby with a Pokey

  • 2010-05-18T01:00:00Z — 21 mins

Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.

7x22 This Is Not Gonna End Well

  • 2010-05-25T01:00:00Z — 21 mins

Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.