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Andrew Phillips
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Edmonton, AB
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Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)

My wife is not a huge cinephile, but she enjoyed the first film, so she and I watched 'Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again' like an episode of MST3K, commenting all the way through. Here are some highlights:

  • "Jeeeez, compared to the first one, this is downright morose."
  • "Is it me, or is this just a collection of ABBA B-sides?"
  • "Where are the fun flipper-sporting Greek guys waddling on a dock? I want fun flipper-sporting Greek guys waddling on a dock!"
  • "Do you think the old Greek lady carrying the bundle of sticks will have a cameo?" (SHE DID.)
  • "Welp. Everybody certainly looks ten years older."
  • "I didn't think you could be too over-the-top for a "Mamma Mia' film, but Andy Garcia just proved me wrong."
  • "Oh my God. Please tell me that that's a fat suit that Stellan Skarsgård is wearing." (IT WAS.)
  • "Julie Walters must be exhausted."
  • "I think this pasty dude was in 'Fleabag'."
  • "I suspect this film is a paean to the female libido, but in a way I cannot appropriately articulate."
  • "Is this scene more or less interesting knowing that Donna is super stealth pregnant right now?"
  • "She's singing Mamma Mia. Get it?"
  • In an Anakin Skywalker voice: "And this is where the morning sickness begins!"
  • "Frankly, she was already subconsciously cradling her stomach two scenes ago."
  • "Morning sickness transcends time and space."
  • "I'm barfing into the same toilet my mom barfed into twenty-five years ago. It's KARMAAAAGGHH."
  • "I bet you a thousand dollars the sad dude's name is Fernando."
  • Improvising the lyrics to Dancing Queen: "Ooh, you can dance, you can jive, but Donna's still dead, Sam is heartbroken, and clearly your marriage is in serious trouble."
  • "Holy crap. The cheesy Greek band transcends time and space!"
  • "Cher is now officially a parody of Cher."
  • "That's Cher? I thought it was Dolly Parton. Getting work done really just makes you look generically female."
  • "Cher looks like Lady Gaga. If Lady Gaga ate Cher. And she drank from the wrong Holy Grail chalice."
  • "The entire population of Greece just crashed her party, but she's gonna throw shade at Cher about it? At least she might sing."
  • Watching the final scene: "EVERYTHING transcends time and space!"
  • "I think this Greek island could be a TARDIS."
  • When old Tanya and Rosie mingle with young Tanya and Rosie: "What is even happening right now?!"
  • "This film is undermining my concept of reality in a very disturbing manner right now."
  • "Old Harry should take this opportunity to tell young Harry that he's gay. Save himself some grief; just rip that band-aid right off."
  • "That baptism scene was so oddly profound it felt like it should have been in a different movie entirely."
  • "Whenever Cher or Meryl Streep were on-screen, I could only picture a taxi-meter clicking through thousands of dollars."

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