filmtoaster
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Orlando, Florida
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Buck Breaking

I can't believe this is a movie that exists. I'm not sure if I should put this on my Based & Redpilled list, or Marxist Propaganda list.

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Spiral: From the Book of Saw

Hollywood really is dead and it'll only get worse.

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The Poughkeepsie Tapes

Probably the best found footage movie I've seen. Not the best narrative maybe, but in terms of realism, this is the best you can get. Actually disturbing and chilling, it looks real.

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Earwig and the Witch

I'm surprised Goro Miyazaki hasn't committed sudoku yet. This is the second time now he's shamed his father.

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Godzilla vs. Kong
Scooby-Doo! The Sword and the Scoob

Last five minutes ruin an otherwise fine movie. These writers need to be kicked off Scooby-Doo, especially after Return To Zombie Island. Such a vendetta against the idea that monsters could be real in this universe.

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Willy's Wonderland
BloodRayne

Sex scene is the best part of the film, not a high bar, but there's no point to it. Some decent score and production design, but overall a bore.

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Alone in the Dark
6

Shout by filmtoaster
VIP
2020-12-03T10:40:02Z— updated 2021-01-14T12:00:27Z

It's such a cheesy, 'The Asylum' grade action film, that it becomes enjoyable. Delightful 2000's edgy garbage.

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Come Play
10

Shout by filmtoaster
VIP
2020-11-30T07:13:38Z— updated 2020-12-05T04:46:28Z

He just wants to be your friend.
Jacob Chase has entered my shortlist for upcoming young horror directors. This was masterful. Roque Baños' score is some of his best work, even above his collaborations with Sam Raimi. While the timely message of our screens becoming a substitute for real life companionship, something that Pulse already tackled back in the day, turning the concept in to a creepypasta style horror film works wonders. The jumpscares are organic and inoffensive, the cinematography and use of the creature in his scenes are devilishly stylish, and little Azhy Robertson acted his ass off. The film handles his autism very tastefully, and I can speak to that since I have one brother who is exactly the same as him. It's a scary idea, that while his attachment and use for his devices are a necessity, they could be doing more damage than good beneath the surface; And that we've become overreliant on technology to solve our problems. I don't get what the backlash behind the film is geared at, but I think those are just looking for something to be upset about. The ending is what got me, nearly made my eyes water.

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The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run
Let Him Go

So, it's basically a prequel to Man Of Steel.

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Mulan

The lowest of low. The editing is nauseating, the acting is atrociously bad, the stark contrast between reshoots and original photography are obvious, and the story is as devoid as life as you can ruin a such rich legend. How anyone can defend such an embarrassment from the studio has to stem from some blind brand loyalty. There is nothing passionate behind the lens, nothing resonating off the screen, it's a once interesting dramatic take on the story raped in to a 300 million disaster dumped on to Disney+.

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An Extremely Goofy Movie

The Godfather Part 2 of animated films.

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Thomas and the Magic Railroad
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Annabelle
Final Destination 3

If there's one consistent quality factor to these movies, it's the score. For a film that prides itself on it's grotesque, ironic kills that are the showstoppers and ticket sellers of the franchise, the music plays it straight. Lots of haunting memorable strings. The script playing it so safe is what makes these movies just average, but the characters and their kills are what step the series up and apart from the crowd.

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Teasing Master Takagi-san OVA: Water Slide

Fucking cute as fuck, and Takagi looks great in that swimsuit. Love this series.

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The Ring

Genuinely spooky film. One of the better adaptations made for an American audience. Ignore the sequels though.

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Jupiter Ascending

One of the most boring pieces of shit I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through. Holy shit, it was SO boring. This movie is the prime example why I hate Mila Kunis.

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Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Dark Side of Dimensions

Now, when I rate this 4 out of 5, I'm giving it points as a Yu-Gi-Oh! fan. I grew up on the original series and the card game, so it was just a real treat to get to see all the original voice actors come back to finally do a sequel about 13 years later. It was like stepping into a time-warp, hearing the old music and seeing all of our favorite characters back.

One thing I will say is, the movie is definitely not all about Yugi or his friends. Aigami serves as the movie's lead antagonist, and it's more about his failure to his friends and his eventual consumption of powerful evil, blinded by his own hate. The movie plays it more dramatic and I think it works very well. It's a drastic turn, but the new characters combine nicely with the old.

I'd say if you're a fan of Yu-Gi-Oh! in the slightest, you'll get a lot of fun out of this movie. Lots of great duels and set pieces and it's great to see everyone back again just one more time.

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Shin Godzilla
Super 8

It's fun, but forgettable, and that really sucks. I want to give it a higher rating.

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Spider-Man 2

The second best superhero film of the last twenty years or so, right behind Batman v Superman.

The philosophical questions it asks about being a superhero were pretty ambitious for the time. It makes for a fantastic story about Peter Parker having trouble dealing with his personal life, and his unassigned duty as Spider-Man, something that's expected of him by the people of New York.

It's a great film, especially an action film too. Highly recommended by me, and I'm not much of a fan of superhero stories.

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Twilight

It's not great, but it's the best of the entire saga by far.

They at least TRY to make it interesting by implementing horror and mystery elements. I mean, they don't last long, but I'd say the first hour of the movie is actually good. Once the mystery is over, the movie becomes a little boring. I can see why teens loved the first book.

The music and direction are great. I love the grey rained-out look of Washington, it fits the tone of the film.

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Attack on Titan
Blackfish

I haven't gone to SeaWorld or any kind of zoo since seeing this...

I guess it did it's job.

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Thomas and the Magic Railroad

This actually could've been a good movie for kids, if it hadn't been absolutely butchered after test screenings. I'm not even kidding you.

The original script for the film was much, much, much more fleshed out than what we see in the final film. There was entire villain, named P.T Boomer, who was cut out because he was deemed "too scary" by mothers at screenings.

It's a shame, because we could've gotten something worthwhile, but ended up with a trashy wasted shell of a story.

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Hitman: Agent 47

I'll give this movie credit for one thing: It's a fucking blast to watch with some friends at a party. This is the perfect terrible movie to riff and bash for the entire runtime. The acting is some of the worst I've seen, sadly coming from some very talented people. The story is a blatant almost exact copy of The Terminator, and the fucking camera work + editing leaves me at a loss for words. I can't even describe how bad the editing is. You just have to see it for yourself. So, here you go. Enjoy it in all it's glorious shittiness.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdHcQAgPUOo

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