After discovering probably the best-looking cinema in the UK, travelling to the west of America to see a 4D film about M&M's, finding the greatest film of the decade without being told so, finally finishing the Hunger Games trilogy one year later than it should have been and entering a new phase of Star Wars sans Jar Jar, who knows what could be better than all this forthcoming.
Well, here's all the films I've seen in 2016, a.k.a. doomsday for democracy, showbusiness and the world itself. At least the movies were good enough. Well, except for the second one on this list.
Practically the whole of your childhood is dead (including the Powerpuff Girls), bigotry has entered the White House, we are about to face similar problems for the same reason, and Pokémon have taken people out of reality and off of cliffs. It's no wonder I go to the cinema so many goddamn times. However, with all these disinteresting sequels and "original" concepts, I don't see that happening nearly as much as 2016.
As far as I know, there's no farting corpses, very little hot dogs, hardly any seagulls, no chance of cute 3D redheads and a bunch of gems I've already witnessed first at a festival. Until another festival can surprise me, be it Flare, Sundance, LFF or even the LIAF, the most notable experience I can think of as of yet is seeing who else will attend the My Little Pony movie.
One thing's for sure - there will be less to see than last year, and the rising interest in digital releases doesn't help (especially with the region cheats). Will there be another Carol like there was twice last year, not counting their UK releases this year? Or is 2017 just going to be the weakest year for film by far? Unless we act soon, it won't just be democracy that's dead.
It’s my 25th year of existence. I survived the chaos. I can travel by myself on the overground, the underground and the bus. I know how to get myself to the ICA, I thirst for celluloid more than ever before, I have a lifetime membership at the Prince Charles Cinema and the BFI Southbank is screening animation all year round. Also, my favourite mainstream cinema now has reclining seats.
Let’s do this.