This could have been a Creepshow episode. Bizarre, cartoony, over the top. All while never looking like it's trying too hard to be serious. There's nothing "serious" here (other than Will's serious love for the Prog), and it's all the better for it.
Good silly fun.
I keep watching these Lovecraftian films, hoping that eventually one will be good. This one looks like it had a decent budget for crew, at least. All of the supporting actors were either terrible or were directed horribly - hard to tell. The core actors were okay, but they'd likely kill better at dinner theatre.
This was close to being a good film. I don't think they nailed down the "evil spirit" well enough -- I think it could have been tightened up a fair bit to make it really spooky rather than just feeling like an old episode of Goosebumps.
The spirit wasn't consistent, for one thing. Its actions were random at best. Every character immediately knew that the Pet Semat... er... SWIMMING POOL was a vampire, and they easily won as soon as the filled in the pool. Anti-climactic, and honestly, did anyone feel bad about any of the injuries or deaths other than the girl right at the start?
I'm not sure when "Wicker Man" become a genre, but I'm here for it.
Could have used more bees.
Well, this is fucking stupid.
Netflix synopsis says "In this dark horror satire, wealthy elites hunt innocent ordinary citizens for sport"
It's not all that dark, honestly. There's some graphic death sequences but it's not dark. It's definitely not a horror film. There's nothing scary here, no thriller aspect, and the fights are simplistic and cliche.
I'm not convinced it's satire, either. Especially not of "both sides" as the film's people try to claim. It's not "skewering" "both" sides in any way at all.
The Good Ol' Boy side seem pretty normal and put together. There's a bit of stereotyping in a couple instances, but even the podcaster is more hero than caricature.
The Liberal Elites team is all that seems to be satirized at all.
The only real option I see, is that the film makers are mocking the VIEWERS.
I only kept watching to the end to see if they eventually pull out of the tailspin, but no... they crash. No survivors. (Metaphorically)
There were some decent acting performances, but I think they've all been better in better productions.
There's a core of a decent film here, but it's poorly implemented.
The sound mix annoys the hell out of me. Good sound quality, everything's fine and the REALLY LOUD alerts and high pitched sounds that serve no purpose. That's not that unusual with action films mixed for the theatre, but this is a Netflix film.
The camera movements though, are way worse. 90 degree rotations that really don't serve any purpose. I get that they're trying to be disorienting, but they're just breaking the film experience for me.
That's nothing to compare with the glaring product placements of Starbucks and Tesla and Friends. FRIENDS?
Then there's the ending.
LOST had a better ending than this shit.
Fuck everyone involved in this.
"Don't worry that the world is ending. You've got sitcoms."
This film wrecked me.
Every story from the celebrities who recounted their own experiences they had as kids, watching the same show that I experienced. Tears on their cheeks, describing what the man meant to them. Interview subjects describing growing up with Mr. Dressup and then having a beer with the man.
Well, I didn't call Sean's story correctly when we first met him in the diner. The character felt like a poorly portrayed undercover cop. I was expecting he'd get caught by Becky and beg for his life. His pathetic end, as some weak willed idiot having been sucked into a hateful organisation was much better than I expected.
The first part of the film felt like a bit of an afterthought to try to glue the first film to the action parts here. Elena's death doesn't feel important, let alone an escalation from the attack on the dog.
There better be a third. It's a solid film once it actually begins.
If there was a dead body instead of a crater and a narrator throughout the film, this could easily be a forward looking update on Stand By Me. Where it was written by someone like Heinlein writing science fiction for young people.
It's solid, it's hopeful without being syrupy or cliche.
Thankfully it does NOT take a dystopian turn at the end where we find out that Omega is an alien world where the residents e the people sent there. There are things that go unexplained because they don't matter like the half built city, the strange holo-deck, etc. They're just settings for the story, and don't need to take up time.
Sadly, Disney seems to have decided to bury this one for unknown reasons, matey. Arrrrr... if only there be a way to see it.
There's some lovely lighting work at times.
The acting's not uniformly horrible.
People appear for no reason, and never return.
There's a reason people forget their dreams - they're boring.
This isn't Buñuel, it's not Lynch. It's art school noise, and it's best forgotten.
The dialogue feels like it’s improvised by a bunch of first year drama students. Things happen and the reactions feel like they’re all at the wrong scale. “OH MY GOD MY BOYFRIEND BLEW UP! OH WELL.”
This episode just annoys me. It's right down there with the worst holodeck episodes. 100% filler episode.
Episode 3 was maybe the best character driven story in any zombie tv show ever written, even without any zombies in the episode (well, none that were pivotal to the plot, anyhow). Bill and Frank were lucky to find each other. Bill wouldn't have made it all that much longer on his own.
The poster looks nice, I guess?
"Well, that wasn't as bad as I expected"
No real Rock catchphrases introduced, so that's a plus. The core film is alright. I like that this version of the character, and I would welcome seeing him interact with Captain Marvel (not the MCU one - the Shazam one) as much as with Superman and the JLA.
I wanted to deduct a point for Robbie's haircut. I don't think I did.
The film tries to invoke alternate timelines and possibilities but just doesn't really pull it together for me. I don't regret watching it, but that's not always the same thing as enjoying it.
Why even bother with the B plots except to pad this potentially fine eighteen minute short film into a feature length film? The acting class, the child actor and his girl pals with their sexless dancing? The horror is neutered by a lack of anyone we are made to care about.
Did anyone not see the engravings and know what was going to happen?
Wait. Maybe the AUDIENCE is the victim? That would be a chilling approach.
This is the weirdest, and longest, episode of Columbo I've ever seen.
That's who Christian Bale is playing, right?
It's fine in its way, but there's too much going on without anything actually going on. Pace really could have been picked up, especially considering how it seemed to have promise when Washington and Bale were back in the USA, hired by a woman to investigate a suspicious death. It could have been a noir tinged film, but I don't know that they knew what they wanted.
The birdwatchers (Myers and Shannon) and the detectives (Nivola and Shoenaerts) could be removed entirely and not affect the story at all. Some real tightening up could have been done. Chris Rock wasn't needed, nor any Beatrice and the in-laws.
I think it's a mistake that Saldaña wasn't given a bigger role, maybe without the boring wafer thin love interest role. She's hardly more than a prop.
Honestly, everything was fine, but there was just too much filler. 2:14 but I think it could have been a tighter 1:45 and only making it a more interesting, fast-paced film.
In The Man From Toronto, they couldn't pronounce 'Toronto' right, and in Amsterdam, they pronounced 'Amsterdam' like they'd never heard anyone Dutch say it.
All the producers working on this seem complicit in elder abuse, turning Willis into little more than a prop. He's so far gone at this point that he can barely put together two words, so they have Wilson there to be his voice for exposition.
Ham-fisted production.
This whole film feels like it's the output of an AI tasked with making a film about law enforcement for a budget in the hundreds of dollars.
Lack of human emotion, sensible motivations, etc.
I mean, there's some acting happening in here, if only accidentally. Kevin Dillon isn't a complete stain, and Shelby Cobb appears more human than anyone else in her half page of dialogue.
I just feel bad for Bruce Willis in these 2022 films. He was being used as a name to lure in producers, and there are so many obvious work arounds to his illness here - lack of two shots, no banter, no shots longer than a couple seconds, no tough words, and no acting needed. A number of very rough dialogue edits from off-screen Willis where they seem to be assembling his lines from single words. Poorly.
Everyone involved in producer roles here should be shunned.
Everyone in the film seems to talk in a rapid fire, stilted emotionless monotone. Almost like this is supposed to be film noir or a poorly dubbed foreign film. Maybe all the characters are loaded with horse tranquilizers.
There's a lot of strange expositional dialogue, such as when Sarah 1.0 is talking to her lawyer.
"I suggest taking personal combat training lessons from a personal combat trainer. ALSO we should discuss my rates."
I'm unconvinced this is a comedy, a thriller, or even much of a drama.
I won't remember a bit of this in six months. The acting is overall quite good, but the story-line is... boring? That's not quite fair. It's just uninspiring.
Keep calm and swallow your suicide pill for Queen and country.
A bit surprised there weren't more murders in this bunch. The ending shot of Art was nice.
I only recently learned of Audrey Hepburn's involvement in the Dutch war resistance, which reminded me that I've seen so few of her films. I've been correcting this mistake, and I was honestly quite surprised by this film. I'm quite happy with how it ended, especially as any other end would have seen Bradley's machinations be rewarded - either financially or by winning the girl. It's aged much better throughout than, say, Breakfast at Tiffany's.
There are a handful of possible films here, all little more than sketches. Exorcism film with the non-believer priest, lost woman unable to deal with life in the city, dark comedy about a reality tv exorcist, a dark comedy about nuns just living the nun life. Well shot, well acted, but incomplete.
C+, see me after class.
Opening scene in a book store, and the customer is asking the proprietor in an antique book store for an Acting For Dummies book. Neither is doing well in this scene, but one of the actors believes he is.
This does not bode well.
The acting ranges between scenery chewing and fair.
The script goes tries going places and just never delivers.
The poster looks nice.
I remember this freaking me out as a kid, but it's just silly.
I'm cheering for the house.
The only movie I can think of that has SUCCESSFULLY dedicated a substantial amount of its run time to the "how we met" montage is UP.
This is not UP.
I find myself in the second act, hoping that a meteor shows up and destroys the entire universe of this film. Lukewarm garbage. The characters are shallow, have no believable motivation, and they don't seem to be acting with each other.
Then, very soft ending that just further aggravates.
Aka Four Shallow Tropes and a MacGuffin.
