Review by Andrew Bloom

The Simpsons: Season 34

34x17 Pin Gal

[3.7/10 on a post-classic Simpsons scale] I don’t want any modern day Simpsons sequels to classic episodes. I’m more bullish on the current incarnation of the show, but the magic of those early years is gone. I don’t want to be categorical here and say there’s no more interesting places to take the concepts and relationships that originated in the show’s golden years. But in ways beyond just quality, the show has evolved a lot since then, and I don’t know that you can just pluck old characters and concepts from the past and just deposit them into the present and expect it to work.

This certainly doesn’t. “Life in the Fast Lane”, the episode where Marge almost cheats with her bowling instructor, but instead returns to Homer to celebrate their love, is an early gem. It’s one of the first times Albert Brooks played a real character; it’s a great early entry in the Marge-Homer relationship episode canon, and it comes with a ton of heart. But it was also from a much more grounded era of the show, the kind of episode that, but for a beautifully animated dream sequence, you could probably replicate in live action without too much trouble.

“Pin Gal”, on the other hand, is a loony, ungrounded, comically over the top reheating of the same issues. Jacques is again after Marge, wooing her with various bits of French joie de vivre and bowling-related double entendres. There’s a bit of a flip, since this time Marge is worried about coming clean to Homer about what nearly happened with them, but the same essential relationship tension is there.

And it sucks pretty hard. The 1990 episode was centered on Marge’s genuine dissatisfaction with her husband’s neglect and the temptation of a man who was attentive and invested in her. This is centered on...a competition to save a bowling alley? Jacques being a pervy clown rather than a legitimate romantic rival? Homer daydreaming about a Flintstones-adjacent universe?

I don’t know why you’d try to do this. “Life in the Fast Lane” gets silly in some places, but it’s frankly one of the more serious episodes of The Simpsons. Why you’d use it as fodder for a goofy episode where Jacques goes on extensive rhyming jags or he and Homer duel with bowling balls or Fred Armisen’s returning hipster character makes wagers like the bad guy in a 1980s sports team is beyond me.

Almost nothing here is funny. Even Albert Brooks’ improvisational charms become grating with this version of Jacques. The bowling gags are overly cartoony. And the romantic puns and riffs on the French are tired as hell.

More than anything, there’s just no heart here. Homer being oblivious to the whole thing dampens any emotional resonance of this secret. The twist of him bringing in Jacques as a bowling instructor only for him to turn out to be Marge’s secret opponent in the big match is downright stupid. And even Homer remembering all the dumb things he’s done that Marge forgave him for doesn’t inject the amount of warmth this one seems to be going for.

I don’t mind that we get a fair amount of middling-to-cruddy Simpsons episodes each year. I’ve made my peace with it. But as with the underwhelming latter day sequel to “Kamp Krusty”, the least the modern incarnation of the show could do is leave its glorious past alone.

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