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Private Notes
Marcus, Grumio, Jason and Aurelius join the army in peace-time, hoping to win respect, romance and discounts at participating restaurants. But when war’s declared, they’re sent to fight on the front line for a cause they don’t believe in. Now their main interest is the struggle for survival…
Things take an upward turn for the boys when Marcus meets some fit Britons in the courtyard and Stylax finds a flyer to a party. With his grocery budget now spent on party tickets, Grumio must scrimp and save in order to put food on the table.
Everyone is quickly charmed apart from Marcus who hopes that, one way or another, their relationship will be short-lived. Meanwhile, Stylax plays a prank on Aurelius which gets out of hand.
Stylax buys Grumio an erotic vase for his birthday featuring a character who bears a striking resemblance to someone nearby. Marcus, under pressure from the girls, suggests they swap roles for the day. Meanwhile, Stylax hangs out with his cousin Lucretia, with whom he has an unusually close relationship.
To endear himself to Cynthia, Marcus befriends a mangy cat whom he's rescued from the courtyard. Stylax is suffering from a disturbing itch and visits a sexual health clinic where he falls for an attractive nurse.
Mass immigration from Thrace puts the boys into contact with a sexy Thracian lodger Irina and a dazzling yellow exotic fruit, the Banana. Meanwhile, Marcus has an unfortunate encounter with an elderly war veteran.
Marcus hopes that the Roman festival of Saturnalia will provide the perfect backdrop for him to finally woo Cynthia, while Grumio makes it his mission to salvage as much sacrificial meat from the city-wide celebrations as possible.
Having won 100 denari each through Stylax's betting on a chariot race, he and Marcus have very different ideas on how to spend the money. Marcus, naturally, wants to spend it on Cynthia, whilst Stylax prefers a more laddish approach.
Surprisingly, Aurelius is getting married. Even more surprisingly, he invites his "best mate" Marcus to be his best man. Reluctant to say the least, Marcus plans a night on the cheap, avoiding the hottest club in town.
While doing the recycling, Grumio finds a baby behind the bins and takes it home to raise as his own. Stylax uses it to strike up a relationship with an attractive young wet nurse. Meanwhile, Marcus tries to avoid seeing Cynthia's painfully boring one-woman play.
Grumio falls ill after eating an apple on the loo. Marcus refuses to pay for his medical treatment preferring instead to go with Cynthia's remedy of candlelight and prayer. Stylax strikes up a rapport with a rich nobleman Gaius who agrees to fund his charioteering career
The boys buy an eccentric slave called Mushki at an auction. Grumio finds his position in the household gradually usurped as the new guy impresses Marcus. Stylax, however, has a sneaking suspicion that Mushki might be a psychopath.
The local elections arrive, so Marcus and Stylax sign up as hired clappers for wig-wearing politician Victor of the Gracchii. Grumio, however, is drawn towards another candidate named Julius Priscus. Could it simply be because he is giving away free promotional plums?
The boys bump into old school friend Fabianus, who is now a hot shot lawyer. Through him, Stylax reconnects with old flame Cordelia.
Marcus and Stylax try to raise 3,000 denarii to avoid the girls being deported. Grumio visits Landlord in prison through a sewage pipe.
The boys are desperate for tickets to one of the `beast shows' at the Games, while Marcus meets Delphine, a fiery activist from Gaul, and Grumio clashes with Landlady, their missing landlord's formidable mother.
Grumio meets Justin, the father who left him on a hill as a baby and who now wants to make up for lost time, and Marcus and Delphine come to terms with their respective pasts.
When Marcus's parents visit for the weekend, he is keen to keep them and Delphine as far apart as possible. Meanwhile, Stylax pursues a romance with Ursula, one of the Vestal Virgins who guard the city's sacred flame, and Grumio spots a business opportunity.
The boys get cultured when Grumio is cast to play the part of Cupid in a play. Marcus becomes his agent and uses his new connections to impress Delphine, while Stylax understudies the lead actor so he can meet theatre groupies.
As a crime wave sweeps the city, the boys join a Roman military fitness class to protect themselves on the streets. Flavia introduces some dubious new security measures at work. Grumio starts dating Agatha, a talented baker who may well be a feeder.
Marcus and Stylax meet Ramases, a work-experience boy who also happens to be the son of the company owner, and they invent a new office-based sport called jugball. Meanwhile, Grumio samples some gourmet food when he is lent a storecard for the emporium.
When Grumio injures another slave in a fight over a carrot, he is forced to replace him until he recovers. How will he cope in a household where work is taken seriously? Meanwhile, Marcus invites Delphine to move in, but can she bond with Stylax?
The boys meet their new neighbour, a weatherman. Marcus uses the forecast of a small tremor to bring excitement to his relationship with Delphine. Stylax tries his luck with an attractive new colleague, while Grumio discovers Indian food.
Following a catastrophic industrial accident, the boys respond in their own ways: Marcus immediately seeks financial compensation, while Grumio prefers to 'go to seed' at home. Then Jason, a cheery out-of-work builder steps into their lives.
Despite only being open a few days, the boys' bar receives a devastating '1 Fork' review from Athena, the leading food critic in Rome. Grumio invites her back for a re-match with his experimental new menu; while Jason can't stop hiring waitresses.
Marcus spies a money-making opportunity when the city goes into a frenzy of fundraising at marathon time, and Jason bets Aurelius he can beat him in the big race.
The boys launch a cabaret night in the bar when Marcus starts dating the popular Roman satirist, Minerva. But can he cope with her dissecting their relationship live on stage? Meanwhile, Jason, Aurelius and Grumio form a house-band.
It's the Roman festival of love so when Marcus is asked out by Gloria from next door, he can't tell if it's a date or a meeting about their party wall. Jason tries to maintain his Lupercalia perfect-score, while Grumio enjoys a romantic meal for one.
The boys attend a free trial session at a swanky new bathhouse and attempt to outstay their welcome. Marcus courts a potential business contact he meets in the changing room, while Jason starts dating a yoga instructor.
When the Crown and Toga is hit by a mega tax bill, Marcus does everything in his power to find a top-notch accountant. Jason isn't helping things by giving away free drinks to his barber in exchange for haircuts. And Grumio finds a fast snail in the bar.
A Germanian bar opens over the road, selling a popular drink called beer. The boys attempt to discover the recipe, with Grumio engaging his super-palate and Jason seducing the barmaid Stefi. Meanwhile, Marcus has a run-in with the local fire brigade.
The boys set off on a wine-buying trip to Tuscany, but a cart collision sees Jason hooking up with a local milk maid and Grumio developing a taste for foraged truffles.
Marcus offers to tutor Gloria's teenage son Barney, who's struggling at school, while Jason gives him coaching in his own specialist subject, romance.
The boys gate-crash a posh banquet, where Marcus tries to win favour with the host, Jason seduces a bored aristocrat and Grumio overhears a poison plot.
There's a heatwave in Rome and Marcus has invested in a new gimmick for the bar - ice. Plus, Grumio develops a hat-parasol hybrid, which attracts attention.
The boys attempt to infiltrate a local firm of chariot hooligans in order to get some big drinkers into their bar.
The boys begin an archaeological dig in their bar after Grumio unearths an old brooch whilst sitting on the loo.
The boys face uncertainty when Landlord evicts them without notice from their flat. Marcus hopes his parents, who are visiting for the weekend, will help him onto the property ladder.
Jason's brother Darius is getting married and Marcus desperately wants to hire out the Crown and Toga for the occasion, while Grumio offers his services as wedding planner.
