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Private Notes
Doug and Carrie Heffernan are a couple whose castle is invaded by Doug's father-in-law, who comes to live with them.
After seeing photos of Carrie's stout mother, Doug worries that Carrie will gain weight as well, and tricks her into starting a diet.
Doug is afraid he'll lose Carrie when her boss drives her home in his Jaguar and gives her tickets to see a famous cellist.
Doug learns a secret about Richie's wife after a disastrous dinner party.
Doug is uneasy when Arthur starts dating Doug's aunt, especially when the relationship becomes intimate--in his basement.
When Doug takes Carrie's dad out for the night, Carrie shows her appreciation in a very amorous way, which leads Doug to spend more time with Arthur.
Carrie has her engagement ring cleaned and learns that it's valuable, and the jeweller offers to buy it for $12,000.
Doug joins Carrie at a course on the Victorian novel, but can't get past the second page of "Jane Eyre".
Doug helps a sportswriter cheat on the driver's exam.
Carrie, Doug and Arthur languish at a crowded market on the day before Thanksgiving, while Arthur shames Carrie into planning a huge feast.
For Christmas, Arthur surprises Doug and Carrie with a new car--an appalling compact made in Luxembourg.
Carrie fixes up Spence with a co-worker, and everything is going fine until Doug offers Spence some advice on the relationship.
Doug fumes when he learns, before attending the wedding of a guy Carrie grew up with, that Carrie and the groom had sex once.
Doug can't seem to confront his new neighbors when their dog keeps Doug and Carrie awake all night.
Doug lies and tells Carrie that he's made big plans for her 30th birthday--and he then scrambles to make the arrangements at the last minute.
Arthur hits it off with a woman at a Valentine's Day dance for seniors.
When a cop who gave Carrie a traffic ticket asks her out on a date, Doug talks her into going out with him until their court date.
When the shift supervisor leaves for heart surgery, Doug is selected for the position, but despite the promotion, he hates the job. On top of that, Deacon feels he was overlooked because he's black.
A government holiday is anything but for Carrie, who spends it cleaning her kitchen, and for Doug, who spends it golfing--or trying to--with friend Ray Barone.
Doug is distraught by Carrie's indifference when she learns that his new trainee is a beautiful woman, so he tries to make her think something's going on.
Carrie asks Doug to join her at a dinner party for a Japanese client. But when he arrives ravenous after not eating all day, he discovers there's no dinner and tries to eat whatever he can find.
Carrie scolds Doug for inviting their pesky neighbors over--until she learns they want to offer their time-share in the Hamptons.
Doug and Carrie try desperately to ship Arthur off to friends for the weekend so they can enjoy some intimate time together, but no one's eager to take him.
Doug is ecstatic when Arthur moves out of the basement and gets his own apartment following an argument between the two men. But Carrie is saddened by her father's move and wants Doug to ask him to return.
Doug and Carrie feel pressure to have a baby after learning that a friend is pregnant. Meanwhile, Arthur recalls when Carrie was born.
Against Carrie's wishes, Doug buys a motorcycle which causes them to have a huge fight; Meanwhile, Arthur gets a job at a pretzel store.
Doug feels left out after Carrie becomes friends with a new neighbor.
Doug, while goofing off at work, accidentally ends up with a staple wound to the scrotum.
Deacon & Kelly ask Doug & Carrie to be the godparents of their baby; Arthur runs into trouble at the pretzel store when he is put in charge.
Carrie leaves the garage door open and Doug's big screen TV is stolen.
Arthur's inclusion at an outing to a Mets game creates problems for Doug.
Doug and Carrie, along with Deacon and Kelly, go on a weekend trip. While there, they find out that Deacon and Kelly have a very active sex life.
Doug and Carrie invite Ray and Debra Barone over for dinner.
A waitress flirts with Doug which causes him to start acting strange.
In an attempt to get away from Carrie's friends for Thanksgiving, Doug invites Spence over.
Due to financial trouble, Doug's bowling team must win the next game. Doug must help Carrie to improve her bowling ability or kick her off the team.
Carrie wants to invest Doug's Christmas bonus; Arthur competes with the neighbors about who has the largest yard decoration.
Carrie convinces Doug to be the best man at his cousin's wedding.
Doug has his old football teammates over; Meanwhile, Spence tries to get his revenge on the football players for what they did to him in high school.
Arthur is moved upstairs to Carrie's office once the weather gets cold, but have problems when the weather warms up and Arthur thinks his move was permanent.
When Carrie is caught cheating at a board game twice, they trace her cheating problem back to when she was a child.
Doug and Carrie recall the first time they met.
Doug and Carrie make new friends, and by a scheduling mix-up the new friends, and Deacon and Kelly end are invited to the same dinner party. And in the end, they have no friends.
Doug must keep up with Arthur while Carrie organizes his 75th birthday surprise party. When Doug loses Arthur, Carrie must find him.
Doug loses a lot of money when he and Deacon go to Atlantic City to gamble.
Doug becomes a Big Brother. Which leads him to running a 10K race to support heart disease; Carrie accidentally tells another Doug she loves him.
Doug gets pulled into a water filter scheme thanks to his neighbors.
Carrie forbids Doug to eat at his favorite Italian restaurant.
Doug shows his romantic side as Carrie thinks he has lost it; Arthur serves on a jury.
Doug and Carrie face problems when they try to decide where to go on vacation.
Carrie is turned on by an imitation of Rico done by Doug; Arthur tries to chronicle his own life story.
Carrie has Doug sign a congratulatory card for his boss' twenty years at the company and the whole thing blows up in Doug's face. Now, Fisker, the boss, wants Doug to participate in the banquet roast and Doug blames Carrie for this fiasco. He does rise to the occasion, however, and even manages to get some good laughs out of the audience. That is, until he starts to tell some jokes that hit a little too close to home.
Doug vows to lose 30 pounds.
Carrie decides to return to college, with very little time to get things done.
Doug feels the urge for a new car and against Carrie's advice buys it for himself only to find out moments later that the workers at the IPS company are going on strike. He unsuccessfully tries to return the car, forcing Carrie to work major overtime to compensate for his mistake.
With no end to the IPS workers strike in sight, Doug tries substitute teaching at his sister Stephanie's school.
Doug and Deacon, who are out of work because of a strike, resort to playing sophomoric pranks, along with Arthur, to keep from going stir crazy. But they're driving Carrie and Kelly nuts. Eventually, Doug and Deacon return to work leaving Arthur alone.
After a great Thanksgiving, Doug and Carrie tries to recall their first Thanksgiving together who said, "I Love You" first. They consult Arthur who quickly recalls some other Thanksgivings and finally recalls 1993 when he was having a fight with his new wife Lily. When Doug arrives to the house to meet Carrie's family, Carrie, ashamed of her family, runs off and leaves Doug to have a dinner with each parent one at a time. Even though he physically engraves and rebuffs the bowling balls, Arthur criticizes Doug's job at IPS to be replaced by a robot in the near future. When Carrie comes back, they both express their love for each other as Arthur proclaims that her relationship with Doug will not last.
Doug and Carrie watch Deacon and Kelly's kids while they are out of town. When one of the kids sees them making love, they must keep him from telling his parents...
Arthur begins to work at Carrie's company; Doug and Deacon compete for the best practical joke.
A battle of who got the cheaper gift begins; Lou Ferrigno moves next door.
Doug and Carrie rush to a friend's wedding before the bride and groom realize they're not there; Meanwhile, Arthur plans a scheme involving Spence.
Doug sets up his sister with Carrie's boss so that he can watch the Super Bowl on a high-definition TV.
Doug becomes jealous when Carrie makes the mistake of telling him she finds Deacon attractive; The gang go paintballing to celebrate Deacon's birthday, which turns into a war of jealousy.
Doug is surprised to find his married best friend, Deacon, out with another woman. Meanwhile, Carrie questions her relationship with Doug because of their different views on cheating.
After Deacon and Kelly's separation, Carrie begins to wonder about her own marriage. She and Doug agree to put their sex lives on hold for a few weeks because Carrie feels that they should resolve arguments verbally, not always physically. Meanwhile, Arthur dates a woman who claims she was once Frank Sinatra's girlfriend.
Doug lies to Carrie about having to work late so he can play mud football and get out of going to her seminar. Now sick from his night of football in the rain, Doug starts watching TV and begins to drift off to sleep... Doug, finally full of guilt, goes to tell Carrie the truth of what happened and she doesn't react exactly the way he thought she would.
Doug feels sorry for Arthur and agrees to let him go to a cocktail lounge instead of to the weekly dance at a senior center. When Carrie finds out, she goes ballistic and turns her father's care over to Doug-a job he soon regrets taking on.
Doug, feeling underappreciated at work, hears that drivers at FedEx are making twice what he makes. When he runs into a former co-worker now working for the big overnight service, he takes his friend's casual banter to mean that FedEx wants to hire him. Doug uses this information to play hardball with his supervisor and instead of getting a raise and a better delivery route, he gets fired. Meanwhile, after Lou Ferrigno asks Carrie to smear his body with tanning cream while his wife is on vacation, she gets addicted to the stuff and overuses the it on her face, dramatically darkening her skin.
During the Palmer's separation, Doug and Carrie go to the movies with Kelly while Deacon takes the kids. While there, Carrie runs into a co-worker who seems interested in Kelly. The two end up going on a date, and when Deacon finds out he is ready to patch things up with her.
Doug, Carrie and Arthur head out to the airport to visit with Doug's parents while they have a short layover at Kennedy Airport on their way to Montreal. While there, his parents ask him to sign their living will, making him the one responsible for pulling the plug. When his sister Stephanie gets wind of this, she is offended that she wasn't the one asked to be responsible.
Doug and Carrie meet the neighbors after a hurricane destroys both of their backyards. Carrie breaks their hearts by telling the truth and rejects the idea of a combined backyard. So the neighbors retaliate by disrupting their privacy by making an aboveground pool in a small space. But as Carrie tries to mount a lawsuit, Doug can't deny the temptation and joins the other side. But before the pool goes down, Carrie takes a quick swim and later, Doug tries to enjoy the lawn sprinkler.
Doug's Uncle Stu asks him to get his son, Danny, a job at IPS. Doug doesn't want him working there but he doesn't want to look bad to the family so he instructs his boss to interview him but not hire him. Eventually, Doug feels guilty and goes back to O'Boyle to ask him to reconsider Danny for the job. Meanwhile, Arthur fills out audience comment cards on a new movie.
Carrie discovers that she is pregnant and she is panicked that the timing is all-wrong. Meanwhile, Deacon and Kelly begin to reconcile and Spence is left out in the cold and Arthur insists that Doug build him his own bathroom in the basement.
Doug tells Carrie not to panic about having the baby, that he will take care of all her "burden," so he takes on a second job so that they can store a little extra money before the due date. Meanwhile, Arthur is annoyed that Doug still hasn't finished his bathroom and Deacon and Kelly reconcile.
The Heffernans are again thinking about getting pregnant, just four months after Carrie's miscarriage. But there's one problem: Arthur. Now that his last friend from the senior center has moved away, Arthur naps all day. By the time Doug and Carrie get home, Arthur is full of energy and has no one but them to unleash it on. Quality time alone for the couple is impossible. That is, until Doug hires an attractive dog walker to occupy an unsuspecting Arthur: she takes him for a stroll three times a week, under the guise that she's a student interested in learning about his World War II experiences
Doug thinks he has come up with the perfect birthday gift for Carrie: laser eye surgery. That is until Carrie ends up nearly blind from the operation.
As Doug is about to break what was once thought of as an unbeatable record, the tension between he and the guys at IPS mounts. For 18 years, Iggy Stenkowski's record of 951 consecutive perfect delivery days has remained intact, and the guys resent Doug as he's about to beat it and replace the legendary Iggy's plaque with one of his own. As he deals with his internal conflict, Carrie has trouble dealing with the fact that Holly, the dog walker, actually enjoys spending time with Arthur. She starts to wonder if her father really is as great as Holly thinks he is and that maybe she's the problem in their relationship.
Doug rear-ends Kelly and Deacon's car and he and Carrie insist that they personally pay for the damage so they can leave the insurance company out of it. But, when the Palmers give them an estimate of almost twelve hundred dollars, Doug and Carrie are taken aback, and what started off as a nice evening out with friends turns into two couples complaining about each other's cheapness. Meanwhile, Spence is babysitting Kirby and goes from being the "Spencinator" to the "Scaredinator" once Kirby finds out that he is allergic to peanuts.
Carrie is invited to her company's retreat for the first time and is overcome with excitement. Doug is not so thrilled, however, when he discovers that he must spend the whole weekend sans TV. While away, Carrie mingles with the other lawyers and partners while Doug stands by very uncomfortably. Doug then tries his best to charm the partners and in his effort ends up in a lie about climbing Mount Everest – much to the delight of Carrie who sees this as an opportunity to advance herself at work. Meanwhile Arthur, all alone at home in Queens, ends up destroying Doug and Carrie's bedroom and begs Deacon to help him hide the damage before they return home.
Doug decides to buy a pumpkin to get into the Halloween spirit, but as soon as Arthur sees it, he smashes it and banishes the celebration of Halloween. Doug, frustrated by Arthur "forbidding" things, takes it upon himself to go all out with decorations and ends up scaring Arthur so badly that he nearly has a heart attack and ends up in the hospital. When Doug finds out about Arthur's traumatic childhood and the reasons why he hates Halloween, he feels guilty for what he has done and tries to make it up to him by driving around town, looking for Arthur's favorite childhood treat. Deacon, on the other hand, is determined to find his son Kirby a superhero costume, but is frustrated because there aren't any black superheroes. Deacon resigns himself to the fact that Kirby is gay because he turns down the Darth Vader costume so he can be a Power Puff Girl.
As Arthur prepares to undergo heart surgery, he asks Carrie and Doug to bring him his sleep mask. While digging through Arthur's closet for the mask, Carrie finds a box which contains an extensive scrapbook of her old finger-paintings, report cards, and school photos that Arthur has been keeping. As she is flipping through it, she finds an acceptance letter from Florida State University – which she has never seen before. Meanwhile, Doug makes friends with a quirky stranger in the hospital and soon regrets it.
Now that Arthur is back from the hospital, Carrie thinks that it is a good idea that she and Doug get life insurance. She wants to be sure that Arthur is well taken care of should something happen to either one of them. But this comes as a huge shock to Doug because he's never thought about having to take care of Arthur if Carrie weren't around. Once Doug finds out that Carrie has started smoking again, he's convinced that she's trying to die first so that he gets stuck with Arthur. They both lose sight of why they're signing the insurance forms and Arthur has to snap them back into reality. Meanwhile, Doug and Carrie have installed an Arthur cam so they can monitor him while he's down in the basement. Deacon, Spence, and Danny get a real kick out of watching Arthur's mundane daily activity and find themselves addicted to "Arthur TV".
While cleaning out the Heffernan freezer, Carrie comes across the top tier of her and Doug's wedding cake, and reflects back to the time when they got married. As she takes a trip down memory lane, Carrie remembers her uneasiness prior to their wedding day and her desperation in needing a sign from God to be sure about the marriage. The priest calms Carrie's insecurity by informing her that she and Doug actually met years before when they were kids. Carrie feels that that's a "sign" from above, but Doug later learns that it was Danny, his cousin, whom she met, not him, and is afraid to tell her the truth. Also, Arthur convinces Doug's parents to cover the cost of the wedding, and then proceeds to spend all their money to make the day extra special.
As Doug and Carrie's plane makes an unexpectedly rough landing, Doug takes the only available oxygen mask for himself and doesn't think twice about Carrie. She is hurt that he would think of himself first, while he doesn't think that he's done anything wrong. It's not until Carrie says that she will forever see him differently that Doug feels guilty for what he did and tries to prove to her that if her life were in danger, he would save her. Meanwhile, Spence needs to find a new place to live and ends up moving in with Danny Heffernan after things with the hot Brazilian exchange student don't go as he'd hoped.
Carrie's boss, Pruzan, has his first big case as partner, and Carrie is overwhelmed with work. To complicate matters more, the case involves testimony from a delivery driver and Pruzan wants Doug to be the expert witness because he drives for IPS. Although Doug is really excited about working with Carrie, she isn't as thrilled with the idea. After Doug shows up to get prepped for the trial, Carrie is panicked that he is going to embarrass himself and her, so she tries to get Deacon to testify instead, which of course, hurts Doug's feelings. Pruzan is insistent that Doug be the witness, and after a lot of begging from Carrie, he agrees to come back and help her out. Over in Danny and Spence's apartment, a feud has ensued over Holly, the dog walker. Their strategy on getting the girl by spending the entire day with her backfires when she ends up giving her number to the gas man that comes over to fix their heater.
Its Christmas time and Doug's parents are coming over. The only problem is that Doug and Carrie are trying to conceive because of Carrie's "fertile time." After trying to not tell his parents, Doug finally tells them of the situation and leaves the house for one night. That night, Doug can't perform because he is under pressure by his parents and Arthur.
Carrie gets jealous when Doug's attention is focused on Spence's new girlfriend, Becky, a professional chef. It's not her looks. It's not her personality, it's her food! Doug can't get enough and Becky comes to rely on Doug to sample all of her new recipes. Carrie, feeling left out, finally reaches the end of her rope and demands that Doug stop his "food affair" with Becky.
Carrie has decided that she and Doug don't spend enough time celebrating the good things in their relationship, and plans a night of romance in honor of the anniversary of their first date. It happens to be on the same weekend that Deacon has planned a group trip to Atlantic City, and he wants Doug and Carrie to join he and Kelly and some buddies from work. But while checking in to the hotel, Doug and Carrie find out that everyone in the group has cancelled and the only person joining them is Doug's boss, O'Boyle. Deacon shows up later that weekend and confesses that after he and Kelly got into a fight, she packed up the kids and left him.
Now that Deacon and Kelly have separated, Doug makes it his mission to get his friend out of the funk he's been in by taking him out to the clubs. Doug starts to realize he's been missing the days of hanging out with the singles and starts making a habit of it. In the meantime, Carrie is threatened by the new office assistant at the firm, Lila, who has an uncanny resemblance to her. The constant comments from the people at work starts to drive Carrie crazy and she decides to change her look a little in order to stop the comparisons.
Doug and Carrie find an old, unopened wedding present – a gravy boat – from Doug's third cousin Ron and his wife Marcia. Little did they know that inside was a check for $1,500 that they never realized was there and therefore never cashed. However, because the check expired a year after the wedding, they ask Ron and Marcia to rewrite it. Though they initially feel they need to treat this unbearable couple to a few meals before asking in order to justify their actions, Carrie loses her patience the first time and she re-opens the gravy boat and "notices the check." The plan backfires when Doug tells Ron and Marcia that they want to use the money for a trip to New Orleans and Marcia sets one condition – Doug and Carrie can't go to New Orleans without them! Trying to avoid that debacle, Doug and Carrie attempt to sneak off to the Big Easy alone without letting their cousins know about it. Meanwhile, Arthur tries getting a comic strip he created into Playboy magazine, but his artistic talents leave a little something to be desired.
Doug and Carrie get free tickets to her firm's annual golf outing at a private club. They have four tickets and usually bring Deacon and Kelly, but with their recent separation, things have changed. Not wanting to lose out on the opportunity, Deacon meets an available gal, Leslie, who he brings along to complete the foursome. Doug and Deacon are having a great time, but unfortunately, Carrie is not feeling the connection with Leslie and makes an attempt to set Deacon up with another co-worker while at the golf course that she thinks she'd have a better time with. In the meantime, Deacon asks Holly to watch his kids over the weekend while he's gone but doesn't realize that Holly may be pining away for him.
Doug starts to dream more seriously about running his own sandwich shop now that his Uncle Stu has generously offered him a large sum of money to see him realize his dream. However, Carrie has major reservations about this, knowing that Doug's gifts are not in running a business. Not to mention that Danny, Stu's son, is very jealous and angry that his own father would back Doug's business venture, but not his own.
Doug's parents visit while Carrie's on a business trip and take over running the house, making Doug feel like a kid again. Also, Arthur tries to strike it rich by inventing a new type of screwdriver called "the Arthur's head."
When Carrie's new afterwork routine of apple martinis-along with an accompanying much more relaxed attitude-come to an abrupt end, Doug and Arthur join forces to keep her drunk, a course of action Lou doesn't approve of.
As his high school reunion approaches, Doug worries that Carrie's new hairdo will make her look like a librarian, rather than his usually sexy wife. Hoping to show Carrie off in front of his former classmates, Doug tries to find a way to tell her that he hates her bun without hurting her feelings. Meanwhile, Spence informs the guys that he's nervous about seeing one of his old teachers because he never called her back after the two shared an intimate encounter.
Carrie and Doug begin preparing for tax time and realize that their charitable giving leaves a little to be desired. In an effort to get out of feeling guilty and to make amends for what they see as "selfish living" in the past year, they decide to make a donation to the local kid's library at Deacon's son's school. However, Carrie's charitable spirit starts to be about recognition rather than the actual joy of giving. When the administration mistakenly thinks the Heffernans gave $500 rather than $50, Doug and Carrie scramble to keep the recognition without having to pay the price.
Against Carrie's commands, Doug takes $100 from the "emergency fund jar" to bet on a boxing match. When he and Deacon win $5,000, Doug realizes he can't let Carrie know he won big or she'll realize he stole the money. Deacon and Doug set out to burn it all off in a day of luxury spending. Meanwhile, Carrie is offered a job from the owner of the firm and when she finally works up the nerve to give notice, the offer ends up not being as firm as she thought.
In the first half-hour, Doug believes that his new dentist --who once had a crush on Carrie--is hurting him on purpose. The second story, which marks the show's 100th episode, focuses on Carrie's dad, Arthur. When Arthur's volatile behavior gets out of control, Doug and Carrie insist he visit a psychiatrist. During the session, Arthur recalls via flashback a disturbing encounter with his own disgruntled dad that may be at the root of his abrasive personality.
The fourth season concludes with Arthur visiting a psychiatrist and recalling via flashback a disturbing encounter with his dad that may explain Arthur's abrasive personality.
Carrie has been put in charge of overseeing a group of people who will be organizing and distributing legal documents for one of her firm's big cases. The catch is that her team will have to work the night shift, and they're "not the sharpest tools in the shed." Doug is disappointed by her new appointment because this means that they won't be spending any time together, but then decides to use her time away as an opportunity to do whatever he wants – eat in bed, not brush his teeth before he goes to sleep, etc. Unfortunately, he starts to get a little lonely but soon discovers that Arthur makes a suitable companion to keep him company.
Mike and Debi, a bright young couple, move in next door to Doug and Carrie. The Heffernans don't make the greatest first impression as an argument they're having can be heard throughout the neighborhood. Carrie feels that her job, as a legal secretary, and Doug's, as a truck driver, are insignificant next to her neighbors, who both hold professional jobs. She tries desperately to make a good impression on her new neighbors by inviting them over for dinner, but Doug thwarts her plan. Meanwhile, Arthur takes advantage of Spence's job at the subway by insisting on free rides.
Doug and Carrie run into Father McAndrew at the fish market. They exchange pleasantries and as they are parting ways, Father McAndrew tells them that he would love to see them in church sometime. Unsure of how to decline politely, the Heffernans instead agree to attend Sunday's services. During the service, Carrie reflects on the one thing that she really needs help with – a raise. Miraculously, the following day, Carrie receives word that her prayers have been answered and that she is getting her raise. Much to Doug's dismay, Carrie's prayers turn to more frivolous things – like shoe sales. He does his best to convince her that God would never approve of her prayers, but soon enough Carrie catches Doug praying for the Jets to win their latest football game. Meanwhile, Arthur hosts an open house in order to sell the house. Unfortunately, he hasn't mentioned a word of his efforts to Doug or Carrie, the homeowners.
Deacon asks Doug to help him coach his 8-year-old son's football team and the boy challenges Doug to try out for a semi-pro team, but Carrie isn't thrilled with the idea until she sees an interesting photo of him.
Doug's bowling team prepares for a tournament, while Carrie agrees to babysit Mr. Kaplan's son, in hopes of furthering her career. But when Doug throws out a mercy flirt and Carrie runs into an awkward set of hands, all goes downhill.
Doug stops by Carrie's office, and is introduced to her work-husband Curt. Although Carrie assures him that he has nothing to worry about since Curt is gay, Doug is threatened by just how close the two are. They go to lunch together, share work secrets, and are very tight. He raises his concerns to Carrie, but she tells him that he has the same relationship with Deacon. Doug is not happy with her comparison, and the two than try to make each other jealous by spending more time with their "work spouses" than with each other. Meanwhile, Arthur is jealous of a new dog that Holly has added to her route.
Doug and Carrie run into Doug's high school girlfriend, Margie, at his favorite sports bar. Carrie gets jealous when she discovers that Doug's mother would rather spend time with his ex-girlfriend than her. Margie and Doug fight over the song that Doug was meant to write for her back in high school. Doug, intent on redeeming himself attempts to write the song with help from Danny.
At a wedding, Doug takes a naughty picture with a disposable camera supplied by the bride and groom. After letting Danny take the blame, and after confessing to a priest, he has the dreaded task of coming forward with the truth.
Carrie wins 4 company seats to Knicks games, but insists on taking a couple over Doug's friends. But when they realize Carrie's favored couple doesn't work for Doug, and Doug's favored couple doesn't work for Carrie, they decide on playing cupid. Meanwhile, Arthur digs himself a hole by pretending he can "fix" parking tickets.
Doug loans Carrie to Deacon to help prepare Thanksgiving dinner. When Deacon ditches her for Holly's services, his web of lies soon gets out of control. Trying to cover it up, Doug continues to dig a hole for himself.
A toy from their childhood leads to a rift between Deacon and Doug. Meanwhile, Carrie tries to give her father a great Christmas gift, but this proves hard to do when everyone thinks of the wrong gifts they are receiving, altering their original gift choices.
Carrie thinks Doug needs professional help to control his excessive eating habits, so she persuades him to see a therapist. When Carrie sees Doug's great inprovements, she asks the therapist to work on Doug's other issues. Meanwhile, Arthur believes he's addicted to nasal spray and fights to stay off of it.
Doug becomes obsessed with his own Super Bowl party after learning that many of his friends will be attending a party thrown by a new co-worker. While Doug is focused on winning back as many guests as possible, Carrie complains that Doug doesn't think about her enough during the day. Problems arise when Doug tries to throw the ultimate Super Bowl party and prove to Carrie he's an attentive husband.
Doug and Carrie photos get mixed up with another couples. When Doug and Carrie look at the other couples photos, they find out that their lives aren't as good as the others, so they try to do what are seen in the photos. Arthur's new cellphone is in no use when no one calls him.
Doug cannot spend time with Carrie on Valentines Day, because he has to deliver penguins, with Deacon, from one zoo to another. Yet, along the way, they run into some mishaps. Meanwhile, Carrie and Holly go out and give her tips with men to look for a man for Hall. However, Carrie inadvertently fixes her up with her boss. Also when Arthur and Spence go to up a pick a date for the holiday, he accidentally gets himself a date that is old enough to be his grandmother.
Doug and Carrie are having fun on their vacation with their neighbors in St. Croix, but once Arthur calls with a quote on the current mold problem in the house, all is not so fun.
The mold problem in the Heffernan household grows and Doug and Carrie find out to fix the problem will cost them $12,000! Doug, with his tail between his legs, goes to his father to ask for the money, but hits a wall when he wants to know why he and Carrie don't have it in the bank. When Doug has to admit they have no savings, his dad wants to comb through their financial books to see where all the money is going. This prompts Doug to limit Carrie on her "wild spending," which does not go over well with her.
Doug and Carrie try to get the Russian workers to repair their house, by going to extreme lengths of giving them vodka.
Carrie gets tickets to an opera but Doug doesn't want to go so he has Deacon help him lie to get out of it. Carrie catches him in the lie which prompts Doug to confess to a series of lies he's been hiding. Doug then tells Carrie that the reason he's been lying is because she's too overbearing. They both agree to be "supportive" of one another but this only leads to more problems.
Danny asks Doug for a letter of recommendation at IPS so he can move up to being a driver like Doug. Since this idea does not appeal to Doug, Carrie decides she will write the letter and have Doug sign it. Danny ends up getting the job and puts Doug's skills to the test, and his job on the line, when his ability to beat Doug's delivery time has the boss giving Danny Doug's route.
Carrie can't stop buying expensive clothes, and then returning them within a few days. Spence's new girlfriend is afraid of his dog and tells him to decide who he wants, the dog or her.
Arthur and his half-brother Skitch are reunited when Doug sets it up for them to meet again at the tollbooth Skitch works at on the freeway. When Doug realizes they own a house together, he sees the possibility of getting his personal life back when he envisions the basement empty and he and Carrie having some personal time. Arthur moves in with Skitch until all hell breaks loose when the two are reminded that they should indeed live apart.
Carrie learns from Janet that Doug had a dog when he was 11, that they still have today, and Doug is 38! Janet admits to Carrie that the dog died, and they replaced it without Doug knowing.
Since Doug never gets what he wants from Carrie, he uses Arthur to ask Carrie for them, so he gets what he wants. Meanwhile, Spence is first on line to see a new movie.
Doug breaks the bed, and when Carrie and Doug find a new one that they like, it has to be ordered, thus leaving them with nothing, until they borrow two twin beds for the time being. Quickly the two realize that having their own space at night is making major improvements in their marriage. Arthur discovers that their sweet neighbor, Lou Ferrigno, is actually quite a gossip, when he overhears him through a peep hole in the basement that looks right into his yard. Arthur makes it his mission not to get tangled up in that mess by protecting what information Lou gets.
The sixth season opens with a newly svelte Doug and a surprisingly jealous Carrie, who just can't hide her disdain when people constantly compliment her hubby on his weight loss. Doug decides to suprise her by taking her to an old holiday spot of theirs.
Doug surprises Carrie with a romantic weekend away at a resort. Doug and Carrie try to get over an argument they've been having, but only make things worse. Deacon finds Spence and Danny in bed together. Arthur decides he is in an emergency situation.
When Arthur handily beats Doug in several games of ping-pong, Doug decides to test his skills on Carrie, but is humiliated when he loses once again. In a desperate attempt to keep his ego intact, he asks Arthur to train him so that he can beat his wife. Meanwhile, Spence's girlfriend, Denise, gets promoted to waitress at the bowling alley, but Spence becomes jealous of the flirting she must do to get tips.
During a romantic dinner, Doug is inspired to proclaim his love to Carrie. Carrie is taken by his gesture and suggests that they renew their vows. The two find that planning the wedding is much more troublesome than expected. The ceremony is on again, off again as Doug and Carrie are faced with endless complications, including finding a chimp to serve as Doug's best man. In the midst of the wedding planning Arthur is praying that his wedding present, aged Port wine, will go unused when he discovers the value of the fine wine on E-bay.
When Doug hears from Carrie that Deacon's ex-wife wants to reunite with him after a two-year separation, he can't decide whether or not to give Deacon the heads-up. When Deacon informs Doug that he just met a beautiful stewardess and is spending the entire weekend with her, Doug decides not to tell him about his ex-wife's plans to reunite with him. But when Carrie discovers this, she demands that Doug tell Deacon so he doesn't ruin his chances of getting back with Kelly.
When the partners of Carrie's law firm notice Doug's softball skills, they ask him to pretend that he's a lawyer in order to play on their company team. Carrie worries that Doug won't be able to pull off being a lawyer, but he is so convincing, an opposing firm offers him a job. Meanwhile, after tracing his ancestry, Arthur believes his great-grandfather was a slave owner and makes it his own personal mission to correct things with Deacon on his ancestor's behalf.
Carrie fears that her new gynecologist will drop her as a patient after she recommends Danny do some landscaping for him and Danny overcharges the doctor for the work.
Carrie hears that her law firm is laying off people and worries about her job, though her resigning boss is only worried about getting an omelette bar goodbye party. Meanwhile, Doug is in hot water with Deacon when he loses the koosh ball Deacon received from his son as a gift.
It's Thanksgiving in the Heffernan household and while Carrie cooks dinner for ten people, Doug lets a stranger into the house to use the phone. He is convinced the stranger is a nice guy but Carrie is not so trusting. Everyone at dinner feels sorry for the man, who's been left outside to wait for a ride, but when Carrie finally gives into the holiday spirit, it turns out her instincts may have been right.
Doug gets annoyed with Carrie when she loses her job and, rather than looking for employment, becomes extremely unmotivated. When Doug confronts Carrie about her laziness, she gets upset, claiming that she is simply trying to find herself. Carrie then enlists the help of Arthur and opens up her own company making decorative cell phone covers. However, when she invites her friends over to buy some of the covers, she realizes a new line of work might be in order.
Doug finds it unbearable working with Carrie when she takes a temporary job at his company during the holidays. Arthur tries to get various friends to pose for a Christmas card picture with him.
In flashbacks, Doug and Carrie recall buying their house almost 10 years earlier and how it was mainly Carrie's decision because Doug preferred a different place.
Arthur wins $2,500 at a bingo game, and agrees to share some of his winnings with Doug and Carrie. Unfortunately, Arthur feels that he should decide how they will spend their portion.
After countless times of babysitting Deacon and Kelly's children, Doug and Carrie feel that Deacon and Kelly should return the favor and babysit Arthur every once in a while. Deacon and Kelly decide to take Arthur out to dinner so Doug and Carrie can be alone, but they ignore a warning about Arthur's reaction to spicy food.
Doug and Carrie run into Doug's ex-girlfriend Trish at an art gallery. Doug explains to his wife that Trish took their breakup pretty hard. So, against her husband's wishes, Carrie asks Trish out to lunch. At the restaurant, Carrie quickly realizes why Doug broke up with the woman in the first place – she's annoying and needy. Ready to break off their new friendship, Carrie's tune changes when she discovers Trish's employee discount at Saks Fifth Avenue. Meanwhile, Spence agrees to go out with a guy, even though he's not gay, just to boost his morale.
Carrie becomes furious with Doug after he is hospitalized to remove his appendix and begins talking about other women while sedated. To ease the situation, she writes a list of acceptable fantasies – and women – for Doug to dream about.
When Arthur tries to sell Spence his adjoining burial plot, he somehow winds up selling it to Spence's mother, Veronica. Doug is assigned a new delivery route and is freaked out by a man at one of his daily stops who always answers the door wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Meanwhile, Carrie takes on dog walking with Holly to make some money after being unemployed for several months, but immediately hates the job and hires a kid to do the walking for her.
Doug and Deacon's relationship hits a speed bump when Deacon unknowingly befriends Doug's grade school archenemy.
Carrie asks Deacon and Kelly to accompany her and Doug to Florida for their visit with the in-laws so that they'll be forced to stay at a hotel instead of with Doug's parents. What looks like a perfect vacation turns into a nightmare when spring breakers invade the hotel, forcing Carrie and Doug to reconsider their future accommodations when visiting the folks. Adding to the misery is the great disappointment shown by Doug's mom over the fact that no one is staying at her house.
Doug must heal the breach between father and daughter when Arthur ruins Carrie's job interview at a prestigious real-estate development firm by making a nuisance of himself in the company's lobby.
Doug sabotages Carrie's attempts to start hanging out with her co-workers by scaring them off with several crude techniques. Meanwhile, Spence and Danny realize that women like men who take care of the elderly and start using Arthur as bait.
What starts out as a valiant effort to win back the heart of Spence's ex-girlfriend, Denise, quickly goes south as Danny gets a sudden case of lockjaw and the group spends all the money they took out as cash advances from their credit cards. To Carrie's dismay, she can't buy groceries because unbeknownst to her their credit card has been maxed out by Doug. Meanwhile, Arthur fills in at the front desk of the senior center and has some words with the pudding vendor.
A bedridden Carrie gets Doug to team with Arthur for a shuffleboard tournament, but his skills aren't to Arthur's liking. Meanwhile, Carrie pretends to continue being sick so that Holly will continue to cook for her.
After Holly gets kicked out of her apartment, Arthur insists that she stay with him in the basement until she finds a new place, making Doug realize the benefits of having two women in his life.
In an attempt to go to Las Vegas for a weekend with the guys, Doug begins to build up credit by taking Carrie to a spa. Meanwhile, after hearing about Las Vegas, Arthur trains Spence on how to count cards, before visiting a small casino, being held for orphans.
Carrie and Doug have a conflict of interest when Carrie begins to stay late every night at work but it leaves Doug to feel neglected.
On the way to a overeating support group, Doug notices an abusive relationship group, and decides to join them instead. Although, Carrie becomes suspicious when he not only gains weight, but begins to cower in her presence.
Doug's position as the "Funny Guy" is threatened, when IPS' new employee wins over the workforce with his impersonations. Meanwhile, an assistant is hired to work for Carrie, and ends up performing more work than expected.
Doug digs a deeper hole for himself when he fakes a heart attack to avoid angering Carrie for not knowing her friend's name.
Doug's parents pay a visit to the Heffernan household, where Doug surprises them with theater tickets. However, Joe Heffernan is distracted by his Train Fair, which causes Janet to develop a friendship with Arthur.
While Christmas shopping at the mall, Doug loses his wallet and begins a quest to find the wallet and the culprit who may have stolen it. But with no help from Carrie or the cops, he requests the help of Arthur.
When a fight causes a rift in the Palmer/Heffernan relationship, Doug and Carrie attempt to get back at the Palmers by getting a new couple as friends. When their search yields nothing, they resort to two friends they really don't enjoy. But while dining with them, they meet another couple who are in a book club with their increasingly annoying friends. Now Doug and Carrie love them ... at least until they finish the search to find the new couple's phone number.
After ten years of marriage, Doug finds a new love – in the form of designer cologne that Carrie can't stand, but his scent-ual affair forces Carrie to demonstrate bad behaviors of her own. Meanwhile, Arthur attempts to show Spence and Holly the finer points of movie hopping.
Carrie uses her extra income to hire a maid, but Doug feels left out and decides to hire his own help in the form of Spence's mom, Veronica. Soon, Veronica proves to make more messes than she cleans, especially when her newly subordinate position makes Arthur pine for her.
Doug decides to pursue a long-abandoned dream to become a bartender, much to Carrie's angst. Although she starts to warm up the the idea, Doug soon realizes that dreams are not always what they are cracked up to be. Meanwhile Arthur enters the dangerous world of politics.
When the Heffernans begin working out with the Ferrigno's, Doug secretly makes a pact with Lou so he can sit around instead of working out.
Carrie recalls what Doug said to her when they were dating that made her want to marry him, but then she learns a horrifying truth about that night; Danny falls for Holly after his girlfriend breaks up with him
When delivering a package to his old high school, Doug meets his old football coach, and against Carrie's wishes, begins to return to the school on a regular basis as the football hero. Meanwhile, after losing his eye drops, Arthur manages to lose his sense of hearing, sight, and speech in one day and becomes completely reliant on Holly.
Carrie is discouraged about her looks as she faces her 35th birthday so Doug gets construction workers to hoot and holler at her as she passes by in hopes of cheering her up. Also, Arthur tries to come up with a perfect gift for his daughter.
When Deacon snubs his usual boys for a new African-American friend, Doug desperately tries to find his own "roots" in an attempt to win him back. Meanwhile, Carrie runs her cuticles ragged to find out why her manicurist will no longer schedule her appointments.
When Doug wins a trip to St. Louis to see the Final Four, he is reluctant to bring Arthur. However, Carrie tells him that if he does this, he never has to take him to the senior center or see his naked back again. However, the plane gets delayed & Doug & Arthur go to Pittsburgh. Then, things go downhill with Doug missing the Final Four by being stuck in Dayton.
While eating at a new cafe with Deacon, Doug manages to agitate their waitress so much that she demands they fight once her shift ends. Meanwhile, Carrie asks Holly to go shopping with her, only so that she can use her van.
As the snow falls in Queens, Carrie heads out to buy an iPod - but instead of achieving musical nirvana, she finds herself stranded on a cold street and in a moral dilemma. Meanwhile, when a couple invites Doug in from the cold, he manages to quickly use up his welcome when he dispenses very un-welcome relationship advice.
A work event in a ballpark skybox leads Carrie, Doug and his buddies out to the game - but when an important client finds fault with Doug, Spence has to step in as the devoted husband. At Arthur's dinner party, guest Bernard, turns the table against him.
Doug lures Carrie to a timeshare sales ski weekend where the strength of their relationship is tested under the intense sales pressure. On the same excursion, Spence and Danny feel the sting of intolerance when they assume the role of a "couple" to enjoy the weekend.
When Doug and Carrie's neighbor passes away, their grief is quickly replaced by hope when they realize his empty residence could prove to be a profitable investment. In their dash to close escrow, they become wary of another neighbor, Lou, who's neighborly way of upkeeping the bereaved lawn raises their suspicions.
Doug convinces Carrie to take pole dancing lessons, but is disappointed when she puts on a show for him. Meanwhile, Arthur worries her new hobby is a result of his poor parenting, and smothers her in effort to make up lost time.
When Doug and Carrie accidentally get a transcription of one of their arguments, they decide marriage counseling might not be a bad idea. And when Arthur gets hold of it, their argument becomes entertainment for a senior citizens' group.
Carrie finds out that while dating, Doug lied about getting a job to get her to sleep with him.
Doug and Carrie both have feelings of not being entirely popular at their workplaces, and both overcompensate to rectify the situation
A sandwich named for Deacon at Coopers ruffles Doug's feathers. Meanwhile, Carrie schemes to prevent Holly from moving to Manhattan.
Doug's frequent hair salon visits make Carrie suspicious. Meanwhile, Spence has his own adventures en route to a sci-fi convention.
A trip to a bed & breakfast becomes more than Doug and Carrie can handle. Meanwhile, Arthur has a romantic dilemma of his own.
Doug and Carrie hear conflicting reasons why Deacon and Kelly are not interested in becoming neighbors. Meanwhile, Danny and Spence each have their eye on a beautiful Albanian girl, who misinterprets the situation.
Doug's karaoke performance gets him an e-mail stalker.
Doug and Ray Barone have a "guy's night out." Meanwhile, Carrie gets a shock upon visiting her mother's grave.
Doug and Carrie are roped into helping out at their church during the holidays: he guards the manger, while she tries to bake a cake. Also, Arthur and Spence attempt to write a Christmas song so they can cash in on the holiday.
Doug borrows a baby from Danny to prove to Carrie that they're ready for a family. Meanwhile, Arthur feels he deserves to be a coffee shop's "customer of the month."
After she beats him and his friends in a friendly poker game, Doug convinces his mother to try to enter a high-stakes tournament. Meanwhile, Carrie gets Spence to help her lose her accent to improve her chances of getting a promotion.
Doug and his pals rent an apartment to use as a secret hang-out. Meanwhile, Carrie goes to great lengths to please her newest client, Kirstie Alley.
Bed bugs brought home by Arthur from a vacation force Doug and Carrie out of the house while a creepy exterminator does his job. Meanwhile, Spence and Danny argue over where to go for vacation.
After Carrie accidentally injures Doug, he milks it to avoid distasteful tasks. Meanwhile, Arthur catches on to the ruse, and uses it to his advantage.
The Heffernans hate an anniversary gift from the Palmers so much, they stage a robbery to rid themselves of it.
In order to afford a cruise, Doug convinces Carrie to cut her hair to sell to a wig maker, but regrets his idea after the deed is done.
Doug's lie to get Carrie to let him ride a rollercoaster at an amusement park blows up in his face. Meanwhile, Arthur lets Deacon shuttle him around in a wheelchair so they can jump to the front of the park's lines and Danny and Spence search for girls to pick up.
Doug and Deacon discover they have more in common with each other's wives than their own, so they start hanging out with each other's wives as well. When Kelly tires of Doug, he ruins Deacon and Carrie's good time. Meanwhile, Arthur dispenses romance advise, and the recipient finds success simply doing the opposite.
Doug crashes Carrie's weekend company retreat, not realizing she's blown it off for a relaxing day with her girlfriends. Meanwhile, Danny and Spence pose as staff to sneak into a Huey Lewis concert.
Doug befriends a driver from one of IPS' competitors, but eventually discovers it's just a ruse to make him the butt of a joke. Meanwhile, Carrie becomes a mentor for a troubled teen, but isn't the best of influences.
After he sets a fire in the basement, Carrie decides it's time for Arthur to enter a retirement home, but Doug makes a discovery that makes him want to change Carrie's mind. Danny and Spence have a face-off over an agreement to swap bedrooms.
Doug decides to spend the Heffernans' tax refund on an ice cream truck. Meanwhile, Carrie fills in as a pretend mom at model homes, and discovers a reemergence of her maternal desires.
Doug panics when he starts getting sexy phone messages meant for another Doug Heffernan, but Carrie doesn't seem to care. Meanwhile, Danny tries to force a wedge between Spence and a new lady friend.
Doug and Deacon fill in for Supervisor O'Boyle at the IPS depot. Carrie regrets her decision to complain about her company's chinzy gift for work on an important project.
The Palmers' vacation plans are ruined when Doug frightens Major so much that he refuses to be babysat by the Heffernans. In the meantime, Arthur begins hiring out himself and friends from the senior center to ride with solo drivers so they can use car-pool lanes.
Feeling hurt over not being invited to a block party, Doug adopts a dog just to prove to the neighbors that he's an okay guy-a decision he soon regrets. Meanwhile, Arthur falls prey to the gambling bug when trying to help Danny beat it.
An unflattering picture by Major prompts Arthur to ask Doug and Carrie for braces. Meanwhile, Kelly hires an out-of-work Spence to help out around the house.
Carrie is convinced that Deacon and Kelly were only able to afford a vacation home by being cheap. Meanwhile, Arthur tries to help Spence get a new job.
Carrie soon grows tired of Doug's forcing his new vegetarian lifestyle down her throat. Meanwhile, Carrie's boss wants to start discussing novels with her and Spence takes on some humiliating new jobs.
Doug's 20th high school reunion seems like a dud until an old friend comes up with a way to retaliate for a past grievance with their old principal.
Carrie's ecstatic when an affordable apartment opens in Manhattan, but Doug's reluctant to leave Queens. Arthur meets singer Ava St. Clair.
Seeing friends who recently had a child makes Doug and Carrie consider adopting.
Doug and Carrie's marital tension continues, as they ponder whether they have a future together. Arthur and Ava's wedding day turns problematic.
At Arthur's wedding reception, Doug and Carrie's marital tension continues, and they ponder whether they have a future together.
