Bubs

Signs
A superior race of aliens that has mastered the technology of long distance space travel has decided to invade earth. Their only weakness is water, which covers about 80% of earth's surface area. But they decide to go ahead with the invading thingy anyway - without any weapons and stark naked.

Oh, and God uses a lot of his spare time to protect Mel Gibson.

High Tension
High Tension is a fantastic and truly exciting slasher thriller. ..Untill it's revealed that the main protagonist, who has been trying to save her best friend from the brutal killer actually IS the killer.

Granted, this could be an iteresting new take on the traditional "final girl" in slasher movies if it didn't have so many logical contradictions. The petite protagonist would have had to beat herself with a barbwire post, give herself a handjob with a decapitated head, kill a few grown men with almost superhuman strenght and CHASE HERSELF WITH A CAR. While driving an another car.

Hide and Seek
The notes for this list item reportedly contain spoilers.
Robert DeNiro's character spends the whole movie trying to hunt down his daughter's imaginary friend "Charlie", who has killed DeNiro's wife. Turns out Robert DeNiro is the killer and has a multiple personality disorder.

And any audience member with a half a brain has probably figured this out within the first 30 minutes. And spent the next hour hoping that there actually is an imaginary friend.

The Forgotten
The movie starts out okay. Julianne Moore plays a woman, whose son has died in a plane crash. But no-one seems to believe she ever had a child, including her own husband.

Within the process of trying to prove the world she isn't insane it is revealed that the aliens took the boy.
You read right, the aliens took the boy.

That's one lazy ass writer.

The Life of David Gale
David Gale has been framed for a rape and murder, he's convicted and ends up in prison waiting for his excecution. A witty journalist tries to save Gale's life, but she finds the evidence too late and Gale dies as an innocent man.

Turns out Gale framed himself. Because he's an anti-capital punishment activist. And apparently the best way to fight against the inhumane capital punishment is by getting yourself executed.

I'm speechless.

The Village
The audience is led to believe that they're watching a horror movie set in a remote village in 1897.

But what they're really watching is a lame movie about a bunch of hippies, who decided to build a commune to a wildlife preserve area and live their life without modern technology.

Haha!
Now, can I have my money back?

Planet of the Apes
Two words: Ape-raham Lincoln.

The Number 23
The main character starts reading an odd book, which seems to be oddly parallel to his own life. He starts having odd dreams and decides to find out more about the odd author by following the clues he finds from the book.

Turns out he had written the book himself. Under a false name. Before having an amnesia.
How fucking odd is this?

Identity
John Cusack and his co-stars are at a small hostel and killed one by one by an unknown murderer. Later it is revealed that Cusack and his pals are just in the mind of a psychotic killer, every single one of them represents one of his multiple personas.

After the revelation the movie loses all of it's suspense. (And it does go on for a while after that.) It's hard to care about the folks, who excist only in some random lunatic's mind.

Swimming Pool
A middle-aged mystery writer named Sarah has a writer's block and decides to take a calming vacation in her publisher's country house. There she meets a young woman named Julie, who turns out to be a total crackpot.

After an hour an twenty minutes of fine erotic thriller it is revealed that nothing really happened. Sarah was just planning her latest novel.

The "it was all in his/her head"-solution works sometimes and to the certain point. But when it doesn't, I just feel like I've wasted my time. Really, I should have been doing the dishes instead.