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Private Notes
Where it all began!
Podge and Rodge with the song never shove a banger up yer arse
Podge and Rodge with the song theres a dead man up the chimney
Podge and Rodge Music - Fester 'n' Ailin - Dog Boy
Another One Of Me Favourites The Classic Prison Song
Bedtime Bloopers Collection from Season 1 - 6
A Collection of the classic Hits from those local lads done good Fester 'n' Ailin and the their number one fans from Ballydung Manor. 00:00 - Tropical Diseases 02:51 - Banger Up Your Arse 05:20 - Dead Man Up The Chimney 07:21 - Dog Boy 10:03 - Irelands First Pornography Shop 12:58 - Never Be Lonesome In Prison 17:16 - Colosto You!,Colosto Men! 20:11 - Me Cock Keeps Her Up 23:11 - On The Sly 25:52 - Never Turn Your Back on A Monkey 30:29 - XXX Christmas 32:42 - Man Up The Arse
Podge and Rodge release all 150 episodes of the legendary 'A Scare at Bedtime' on DVD for the first time
Celebrities pick their favourite hits from the Podge and Rodge creation. Fester and Ailin then claim that those Westmeath legends Foster and Allen stole their act!
A collecction of extra videos from the series 00:07 - Original Pilot 04:08 - Phone Home Uncensored 12:19 - Bargain Bride with Commentary
The Ballydung boys take on the man behind Mrs.Brown on their chat show in 2006
The Podge and Rodge Song Written and performed By Richie Kavanaugh
Podge tells the story of Damian McArsagan.
The puppets tell the spooky story of the hitch hiker.
The puppets tell the story of Henry "The Sleeper" Madden.
The puppets tell the tale of Cormac MacAnus from Rings End.
Podge reminds Rodge that Christmas 1955 was known as Black Christmas.
Podge tells the story of the origins of the phrase "pullin' me leg".
Rodge's appendix starts to give him trouble and Podge tells him he has a fear of hospitals.
Podge tells the tale of Jack Morples and Mary Stenkard.
Rodge asks to borrow the car because he has a date with Sadie.
Podge tells the story of the Tractor of doom and Old man Toolin of Wanklestown.
The lads tell the tale of Dolores McLoughlin from Mullinasnot, and her mean father.
Podge tells the story behind Jeremy Finkle, America's No.1 serial killer.
Podge tells the story about the clone called RX75.
Podge tells the story of Seamus Shenanigans who was the vampire leprechaun.
Rodge returns from the market with a metal detector he had bought. Podge tells him the dangers of searching for artifacts.
Rodge tells the tale of Padraig "Pony" Mahony, who was a stud in the town of Abbeyswinta.
Podge tells the story of the aliens who came to Ballydung.
Podge tells the story of Anne Boyle from Haxball Cross.
Podge defines the word banshee and tells the story about Anal Boyle.
Podge tells the story of Gonard O'Reilly.
The lads decide to do the lottery.
Podge claims the new neighbours are lesbians.
Podge recounts the misery of moving house.
Podge compares Rodge's fixation with losing weight to that of Willy "Pudgy" Ring from Toolend.
Podge asks if Rodge had released his address to the yogurt cult, as he saw it, and began the sorry tale of Johnny Ballsac, from Brownlog Pass. Johnny too had been taken in by such yogurt tactics, and filled out a survey for Gob yogurt.
Podge leads into the tale of Dick Dalton, from Bogknobber.
Podge played down this Rag Week indiscretion, claiming that "most students get their come uppance". He recalled the tale of Betty Bulbin and Mary O'Hary.
Podge favoured offering a women-only B+B service. All this talk of tourists led him to the tale of Pearce McCracken and Ernie O'Herlihy, from Schlongsville, Massachusetts, who had travelled to Ireland in search of their ancestors.
Things get a bit scary for the lads
Rodge speaks of his infatuation with "I Dream Of Jeannie", claiming that she is "sex on legs", and fiddling with himself under the covers for the first of MANY times. Podge, however, states that "it'd be a cold day in Tullamore before I'd accept a wish from a genie".
Rodge pays his respect, saying fondly that "everyone liked Fanny Rash".
This talk of escapology leads Podge to the tale of Gus "The Mole" Geraghty, Ireland's premier bank robber. Gus had been in and out of jail, unable to keep his ability to crack into any safe under control.
"What did I tell you about competitions? They all end in disaster". He speaks of the fiercely competitive nuns of Bumboil Abbey, who took on their sister abbeys in such competitons as longest vow of silence, toilet abstinence, most pious face, and the most rewarding of all - the oldest nun.
Podge threatens to wreck more than his buzz, scolding him for raiding Mrs. Minge's alottment, and her only just recently deceased. He tells the Tarantino-esque tale of Brad Fukoffski, from Méféin, Michigan.
Podge cites the case of Catriona Eczema, from Rash Ring. She paid Madame Vargina (the number one pyschic in the country), who promised Catriona that she'd meet and marry a man, and find her fortune.
Podge tells the trauma suffered by Turlough and Hannah O'Ride.
Podge claims that Rodge's situation was by no means as embarassing as that of Shane Cyst, from Squitter's Bridge.
The Ballydung boys have been put in control of Xmas...
Podge tells the tale of Dave Knuckleshuffle from Heehaw, County Boil.
Rodge ponces in with his new hair cut - Sadie had used the black from the black pudding to colour his tresses. All this "keeping up appearances" malarkey reminds Podge of Ozzy Dorgan, from Slurry.
Podge concludes by warning that "your bath might become your coffin", and launches eagerly into another gruesome tale. Enda Meeshan, who hailed from the spectacularly named Bigarsedladies, Lima, Peru, was studying genetic science ("the study of the very fabric of nature, and not your fiddly bits") in Dublin.
And taking the case of the Backdoor Man as an example. Flush Lavatory (a silk-shirted, moustachied, open-shirted, gold jewellery sporting, through-and-through Dub) and his wife Nuala had just moved into the new housing development at Godownonme Crescent.
Rodge scorns the old wives' tale, but is hastily faced with the story of Franky O'Friction, a businessman who was extremely fond of spanking the monkey.
"More people have died on golf courses in Ireland than in the Famine". He races into the tale of Glengobble Golf Club, starring Jimmy "Clint" Eastwood.
Podge reprimands his brother for giving so much attention to the pet, launching into the details of Mad Dog McGuire - "an infamous bastard".
This broadcast begins with the happy news that Jimmy Durgan has found his leg. Then it was over to D.J. Rodge for the weather report - "mild". D.J. Podge mentions that it is a special day indeed, as the Screw You porno shop is celebrating 17 years of business.
You go ahead and dance the arse off yourself, you'll only end up like Seamus McAnus, you scuttering gobsheen pup".
Podge begins by reprimanding Rodge's trip to the big smoke (Mullingar), and in particular to the supermarket. "Are you sick or excited or what?" He launches - rather dramatically - into the tale of "THE MAN IN THE ARAN MASK".
Ever aware, Rodge "feels another one of your tales coming on". Sure enough, Podge begins to speak of Willie Shuvin, "a decent enough stick".
Podge's ears prick up. "Menage a trois?" "Does that have garlic in it?" - to which Podge attributes his newfound "arse ache". He tells the tale of Larry Lang, or Banger Lang, as he was known.
"The Ballad Of The Field Mouse" ushers in this latest broadcast from Ballydung Radio.
Most Christmas parties end in tears", apparently. He cites the following tale as an example. Rudi Member and his girlfriend Jenny Talia were both employed by the same software firm.
The story of Willy Rigid from Dripping, Co. Laois
The story of two rival butchers...
Podge remembers fondly what their dead father used to call his son when all dressed up - "a little fecking magical bastard".
The Story of Neil Down of Blowme Industries and his taxation issues...
In a rather bizarre role reversal, Rodge concludes some tale of terror by intoning that "his scrotum was the only thing found". Podge states that whilst he's not afraid of ghosts, he just doesn't like them.
Talk of suitcases leads Podge to bravely offer the tale of Ireland's most notorious career criminal - The Banana. So called because of his slippery nature.
Rodge puts two and two together, and asks if their parents are dead. Matter-of-factedly, Podge tells him "yeah, fifteen years ago", and repeats the terrible tale of sleep slaughter.
Rodge ponders his other options - "run away with a freak show". Such talk leads Podge by the nose to the tale of the Busby & McMahon Travelling Theatre Of The Grotesque.
Podge and Rodge show off their musicial side with a rap about waste management.
A young Russian girl discovers that a good deed is not always a good idea.
A group of over-enthusiastic film students take a reality TV project too far.
One man and his dog fall foul of a woman scorned!
Two Gardai play a trick on a new recruit, but take it a step too far.
Cocky business boyo "Flush Tone" tries to earn a bit on the side with very unap-peel-ing results.
Ian Flate finds out why you should never dip your spoon into another man's porridge. Even if the bowl is rubber.
Unlucky in love loser Archie Smelt, finally meets the woman of his dreams
A romantic hotel break takes a sinister turn when room service gives Minty Mingler more than she bargained for.
Fester n' Ailin sing a cheery song about morning glory on the farm.
A couple come across a car crash, but just how many survivers are there.
The story of Jizz Montclaire and how he took method acting too far.
A lonely young girl finds solace in the arms of a scarecrow.
Gail Ring had a serious problem with gas, But a gasbag of a doctor only made things worse.
Ben Sideways discovers the meaning of lost translation when he hires a new Au-pair.
A bitter mother buys her daughter a cut price wedding dress with devastating results.
The unlikely love story of a vampire and a slayer, It's love at first bite.
An ancient relic with strange powers wreaks havoc.
A football coach turns to a psychic for help, but doesn't quite know the score.
Fester n' Ailin are back with a warning about the perils of family affairs.
Spunk Murphy is back to solve a most unusual case, Will he spot the colourful clues?
A couple of bumbling cops unwittingly mess up their own investigation.
Rick Rag and his wife Lillette had the perfect marriage. Or so one of them thought.
The tale of the infamous highwayman and petty thief.
A college professor tries to outwit four cocky students.
A small town call in Spunk Murphy when the beloved pets start disappearing.
Fester n' Ailin bring you a warning song about the dangers of monkeys.
America's top lawyer Dan Blowman goes head to head with a young novice.
Why a cemetery is never a good place to look for a date.
Have you ever thought a toy looked alive.
Can anything turn Roger Pokeme off sex? He's about to find out.
A Dream Holiday ends in a nightmare for Sitonme and Todd Langer.
A case of mistaken identity and tragedy.
How far can reality shows go? Four students are about to find out.
A terrible premonition spells trouble for Bernie Hardman.
A man with a fetish for dressing up in in furry costumes finds out it's like to be a real animal.
The dangerous combination of e-mail and an evil boss.
Jim Natter teaches his his gobby wife a lesson the only way she'll understand.
The unfortunate story of Marty Felchman, his dream date, and his dodgy bowels.
An American prisoner of war wakes from an horrific dream to find reality not much different.
An innocent man stumbles into a twisted trap set by an alluring young woman
Two assassins; Lance Cocksure and new assassin on the block ‘The Hawk’ battle it out for the coveting Golden bullet.
A small town is confounded as secret sex tapes featuring the townsfolk in their very own bedrooms are turning up in porn shops across the country. Who can help them solve this mysterious and frankly embarrassing conundrum? The one and only Detective Spunk Murphy of course.
Two down-at-heel petty crooks plan the heist of their life when they plot to horse-nap the world famous Red Bum. They fully intend to give the horse back when the ransom is handed over; but things don't go according to plan.
A young woman hopes that changing her lifestyle will rid her of a terrifying recurring nightmare; and it seems to work. But was it just a dream or a premonition of something entirely more sinister?
All Randolph Smythe wants is a girl to see past his wealth and love him for himself. When he meets Morwina Pisspot, he thinks he has found just that. And she swears to love him in sickness and in health.
Two misfit students - Eloise and Sebastian - spend their evenings terrorising their fellow students with a Ouija Board. Then one day, the tables are turned with fatal consequences.
A rich widow - Lady Urinaroma - is conned by her two servants but proves to be far from an easy target.
A lone astronaut finds himself stranded on a strange planet. Luckily, its inhabitants are friendly and only have the kindest of intentions – but what is their idea of ‘kind’??
A ventriloquist’s dummy with a life of its own decides he would be better off without his owner and plans to get rid of him. After all, no one would suspect a dummy and he could be free to live the life he’d always dreamed of. But he had overlooked one vital thing…
Meet Fintan – a man with a completely new take on the ‘mile high club’ – and one nobody will want to join!
Sabrina Swallows is devastated when her parents ban her from seeing her beloved boyfriend Tony. But just what will it take for her to realise that maybe they do know best?
A woman tries to work out how to explain to her husband how she acquired the fur coat her lover bought her. She thinks she has a foolproof plan – but her husband has a few secrets of his own!
A spate of mysterious copycat killings sees several art lovers brutally murdered in the modus operandi of executed serial killers The gardai are baffled and there’s only one person who can solve this case - the one and only Detective Spunk Murphy.
A fatal tale of fish, food poisoning and a woman with a plan.
Mickey Joe Girth thinks he has it easy. He’s new in town and already has an easy job working the night shift at a local petrol station. Practically the only customer at night is the local sleepwalker Donnie – and sure he’s no problem. But Mickey shouldn’t have made assumptions.
The story of Fem McCool and the Pink Knight. Two Celtic Knights who want to spend Celtic nights together.
Finbar Fury is saved from a life behind bars by an apparently altruistic boxing coach. Colonel Saunders sees world class potential in Finbar, who he witnessed accidentally killing a man in a dark alleyway. But no sooner has the Colonel turned his protégé into Finbar “Fists of” Fury – a serious contender – than his true motives begin to emerge.
Fintan Felon is back with another foolproof scam. This time, he’s got his sights on grieving widows. Checking the death notices on a daily basis, Fintan simply picks out the name of a recently deceased man and pays a visit to his wife with a box of ‘personal goods’ which he claims her late husband had ordered. After all, what widow is going to want the embarrassment of knowing her dear husband had been a regular customer of the infamous ‘House of Wank’? Nope, Fintan reckons they’ll just pay up and shut up… Until he decides to call on the recently bereaved wife of Crispin Murdoch.
Ronnie Black was definitely the smoothest criminal around. With several robberies under his belt, not a single soul had ever been hurt and he was a major hit with the ladies. However, his luck is about to change and it looks like Black may no longer be the smoothest robber in the world – he may be the ONLY one.
Danny Veckins was a decent man - a good boss and a good father. But when his business and livelihood was threatened by a bitchy jobsworth in the financial institution where he had his business loan, he decides to take the law into his own hands.
Steve and Jimmy loved adventure sports. Unfortunately, they didn’t always want to bother their arses actually mastering the sport in question. So far, they’ve been lucky. But what will happen when the two inexperienced climbers try and scale the dizzy heights of the legendary Mount Punani?
Detective Spunk Murphy is back in action on his most baffling case to date. A young couple are pushed to their death over Randy Peak whilst ‘in flagrante’ in their car. There are no clues – except an unmatchable set of fingerprints and a very similar crime committed over 50 years ago…. Could they be connected?
Iva Brownstain was a survivor. And 40 years after her heroic escape from a World War 2 camp, she was still around to prove it. In fact, things were good for Iva, and her local town were honouring her bravery at the unveiling of a new memorial. But who is the mysterious old acquaintance trying to track her down? And why is Rodge cut out of all the family photos??
Larry and Chloe Mingus had achieved every young couple’s dream and bought their first house. Sure, it needed a bit of work, but it was theirs and it felt like home. Unfortunately, as Chloe soon finds out, it feels like someone else’s home too.
Japs Eye, Bulb and Muppet really were ‘the lads’. They’d worked together for years and were always playing some prank or another on each other. But canny Japs Eye was the King of the Practical Joke, and always managed to get one up on the other two. Bulb and Muppet were determined to get one up on the funny man and one night, after a heavy night’s boozing, that’s exactly what they do…
Niamh had just embarked on a psychology degree at the Friendly University Kilkenny and although she was a quiet girl, was really looking forward to college life. She moved into a house with 3 other students and they all seemed to be getting along great; until some mysterious texts from an unknown man threaten to ruin everything. Who is Alan and how does he know so much about her?
Sarah Spreadem had just found the perfect flat. Within walking distance of work, decent rent and a very nice landlord. But one day Sarah sees a large stain on the carpet that she was certain hadn’t been there before. When it resists scrubbing, she calls the landlord. However, no sooner has he walked in the door and the stain disappears! Just what is going on with Sarah’s underlay?
Join everyone’s favourite local boys done good – Fester and Ailin’ – as they celebrate Christmas in their own inimitable way. There are turkeys to be stuffed, stockings to be filled, sacks to be emptied and some lovely Santa’s little helpers to be sat on your knee and kissed under the mistletoe. This year, everyone’s guaranteed to have an XXXmas with a little help from Ballydung’s finest!
The sordid story of Boyle and McSorley – two graverobbers who turn to murder when their source of dead bodies runs dry. Sure who will miss a few lonely drunks? At least that’s what the murderous pair think as they trawl the bars of 18th century Dublin looking for their unsuspecting drunken prey. It seems too easy. The eminent surgeon Dr Carson, was prepared to buy as many bodies as they could ‘dig up’, until one day the tides are turned when Dr Carson finds out what is really going on. Just what gave the game away?
Dr Pay is just an ordinary psychiatrist who can tell a loony from a mile off. So when he meets the elegant and refined Mrs Imelda Mounthaven, a woman in his care, he is alarmed to find that she really isn’t mad at all. He is so convinced of the truth of her story of wrongful incarceration by her cruel husband, that he is prepared to lay his job on the line and help get her out. But will Dr Pay and Imelda live happily ever after, or is he letting his heart rule his psychiatrist’s head?
It didn’t matter what way you looked at it, Eta Burger was a fattie. And the poor chunkster had tried no end of diets and fads, potions and shakes but to no avail. So when one day, whilst mashing her computer keyboard with her fat fingers, she came across an ad for the “Nu U Noodle” ultimate weight loss programme; she simply had to sign up. And lo and behold, it worked. Eta finally had the body she had always wanted; the only problem was, the people at Nu U wanted it as well.
Jockster Casey liked to think of himself as a bit of a wide boy. In reality, he was a relic of a bygone era of gangsters and ganglands. But the folk in his local - ‘The Bloody Stool’ - just let him get on with it, and he would regale his tales of the Docker Gang and the dirty deeds they used to get up to, to anyone who would listen. But Jockster was prone to a touch of exaggeration...what harm could an old man’s lies do? You’d be surprised.
It was Dick Fitzwell’s turn to buy the lottery ticket for his work colleagues' syndicate. They had played for years, but never won more than a few Euro. So when all the numbers come up, they are ecstatic…until they discover that Dick hadn’t bought the ticket.
Willie Palmer was the worst kind of taxi driver. He had a filthy car and a filthy mouth and took people for a ride – and not the one they had asked for. He would wait for an unsuspecting tourist and then take them on ‘the scenic route’ to crank up the fare. Until one day, Willie picked up more than he bargained for.
Aspiring news reporter Jack Goff was ambitious to a fault. He would do anything to break a big story. So when someone appears to be leaving him clues to the identity of a serial killer, Jack forgets logic and jumps in headfirst. But he hadn’t bargained on the Red Devil being even more ambitious than him.
Aspiring comedian Buster Cherry had one problem; he wasn’t remotely funny. So when the chance arose for him to become the funniest man alive, he jumped at it - even if it meant selling his soul.
Pat McCann enjoyed hanging out with his drinking buddies, but some days, he just wanted time to himself. So one day he does just that - spends the day treating himself to a day of retail therapy. But when he bumps into his boozing mates and is duly dragged for a pint, he hides his purchases safely in the gents to avoid a slagging from his mates. Little did poor Pat know, he was about to get a slagging from the whole country.
Father Roger Rightly was a devout man of the cloth. So when Bishop Pullit came to visit the parish, Father Roger was appalled by his insinuation that anything untoward may be going on between the young priest and his attractive housekeeper. But is the bishop convinced by Father Roger’s insistence?
Rod Footlong was the worst kind of lothario. His “hump ‘em, dump ‘em” attitude to women had left him with a little black book like a phone directory. But despite the number of ladies he had left in his wake, his past never came back to haunt him. Until Rod is invited to take part in a new gameshow.
It is never easy to move to a new neighbourhood, as Tammy Paxman and her daughter found out when they moved to the suburbs. Tammy was determined to do her daughter proud at her new school and impress the other mums at the same time, by baking an impressive cake for the school fair. But poor Tammy was no chef, and her best efforts came to nothing. She was about to throw in the towel when she had a great idea.
Professor Manville was the world's leading anthropologist. He had devoted his life to the study of the history of mankind. So when the Professor heard word of the sighting of a primitive man, untouched by civilisation, he thought his life's work had all been worthwhile. He and his assistant Penny head to the Andes in search of this feral man and find the missing link they had both been looking for.
Gerry Ryan - aka Ireland’s favourite radio and chat show host – was enjoying a quiet drink after work in his local when a young man approached him and asked for an autograph. Gerry, always being one to oblige a fan, agreed and the two began chatting. Then Jack broke down and explained that things were not great for him at the moment, but maybe the king of the airwaves could help him out?
The Shadow Man was a criminal with a difference. His weapon of choice was technology. He would send out hundreds of random e-mails to individuals at company addresses, and wait to see which ones would bounce back with an out of office reply. Once he had the name of someone who was abroad for a while, he would find out where they lived, and their home would be his for as long as they were gone. The perfect crime and no one would get hut. Or so the Shadow man thought.
Bridget Flea was a lonely soul. So when she met Bob, a charming man whom she passed on his way to work in the orchards every morning she thought fate had at last shone on her. Until that is, she met Bob one afternoon and he claimed not to know her. But Bridget couldn’t let this chance at happiness go, so she followed Bob home to challenge him.
Busy corporate suit Chris P. Bacon had no time for anything but his high-flying career. Even his young son didn’t get much of a look in. One day, Chris gets an attack of guilt and decides to take his son to the circus. But as soon as the show is over, Chris wants to get straight back to his executive life. But strange things start happening and Chris’ life will never be the same again.
One of Ireland’s busiest photographers Shay Cheese wanted something more significant to snap. He was growing tired of chasing ambulances and dreamed of taking that one shot that would make him his fortune. Then one day, whilst looking through his portfolio, he spotted a recurring image that might grant him his wish.
What is it about the Irish people and presidents called Mary? We’ve had two in a row now, and local boys done good, Fester n’ Ailin, think it’s time we had a man back in power. So sing along with them as they relay the pros and pros of having a man in the Aras!
Craven Morehead was a rich man - but like many wealthy people, he didn’t like being parted from his money. He had everything he wanted in life, except for a happy marriage. But Craven was too tight to pay for a divorce. So when his lawyer rang him with a plan to get out of the marriage without getting out his wallet, it all seemed too good to be true.
