All Episodes 1996 - 2000

In the premiere episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a guy who graduated from the school of hard knocks, a chef with a recipe for arrest and a drug bust with a twist. Featuring segments "Return to Cinder," "Cooking with Crack" and "Yabba Dabba Dude."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness some pretty funky footwork, a drive-by surprise and a mighty fall from grace. Featuring segments "Funky Footwork," "Drive Buy" and "Police Help Me, I'm Falling."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a girlfriend who bails out her beau, frightening footage with a happy ending and the dumbest DUI excuse ever made. Featuring segments "Two Bits," "Citizen's Arrest" and "Dumbest DUI."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a criminal who falls asleep just behind the wheel, actual footage of dumb criminals on ice and a case we call, "All Spruced Up." Featuring segments "Pull Over and Wake Up," "Dumb Criminals on Ice" and "All Spruced Up."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness the crook caught by the cop without a kickstand, surveillance cam footage we call, "Stuff Yourself" and a blackjack player who really takes a hit. Featuring segments "Kickstand Blues," "Stuff Yourself" and "Blackjack Mama."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness a bank robber who didn't have a car or a brain, a criminal who gets a special delivery and a dumb criminal who learns about gravity. Featuring segments "The Bagman," "Special Delivery" and "This Guy is Falling."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a fool and his jewels, a crime that was not well-done and three lightweights with a heavy load. Featuring "Fooled You," "Hold the Onion" and "Box of Rocks."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a social climber who's falling fast, a cat's stolen whiskers and a major incident with a miniature reenactment. Featuring segments "Social Climber," "The Cat's Meow" and "Tie Tack Terror."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a break in at the wrong house, a panty plucker who has to pay the piper and a dumb criminal who almost got away. Featuring segments "Don't Call the Police," "Panty Plucker" and "Blinking and Drinking."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a 10-year cab ride, a dumb criminal who uses his head and a criminal who has a very bad payday. Featuring segments "10-Year Cab Ride," "Head Start" and "Crime Doesn't Pay."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a D.U.I. with a W.I.F.E., a comically disabled criminal and a traffic temper that goes wrong. Featuring segments "Skunk Driver," "Oh, My Aching Back" and "Watch the Lights."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a flasher who falls asleep on the job, a shoplifting film fest and a drug deal that goes wrong, -- then right. Featuring segments "Buck Naked," "Attention Shoplifters" and "Photo Finish."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness our first twin dumb criminals, actual surveillance cam footage you won't believe and Rin Tin Tin meets a dummy. Featuring segments "Name Game," "Hi Mom, I'm on TV" and "Bow-Ow-Www."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness some dopers who are a little too hospitable, a jewelry store full of dumb criminals and a dumb criminal who is disarmed and dangerous. Featuring segments "Who is It?" "No Cops Here" and "In Arms Way."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a drunk driver takes more than he bargained for, surveillance store footage from the convenience store from hell and a glad bag that turned into a sad sack. Featuring segments "A Real Drunk Driver," "Store From Hell" and "Sad Sack."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a dumb criminal who can hide but he can't run, a criminal who becomes the Houdini of dumb crime and a guy who gets put on the beat cycle at the laundromat. Featuring segments "He Can't Run," Houdini of Dumb Crime" and "It Beats Me."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a bandit with a beer box for a brain, surveillance camera footage of the shortest work day in history and a criminal who cashed and burned. Featuring segments "Beer Box Bandit," "Comp Time" and "Cash and Burn."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness two criminals who absolutely never met, surveillance camera footage of a new dance step and a dramatic dumb criminal drumroll. Featuring segments "An Affair to Forget," "Bust a Move" and "Dumb Drumroll."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll get a little old lady from Pasadena who tells her secret, go inside a dumb criminal with X-ray footag, and witness purse snatchers who don t get the picture. Featuring segments "Something More Comfortable," "Diamond in the Roughage" and "Picture This."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness two dumb criminals with an extremely short-term memory, actual surveillance footage of two women dressed for arrest and a crime that's all in a small family. Featuring segments "Tooling Around Town," "Dressed for Arrest" and "It s All Relative. "

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a drunk driver with a lame excuse, surveillance camera footage of a real breaking and entering and say "aloha" to a crapshooter. Featuring segments "DUI 2," "Crime Time Live" and "Aloha Sucker."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness the dumb criminal who just couldn't blend in, surveillance camera footage of a bro in a bra and some dumb criminals who deconstruct. Featuring segments "One Way Ticket to Jail," "The Bro in the Bra" and "Mental Blocks."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a dumb criminal who thinks he's lucky, actual footage of a sting you won't believe and a rat who gets caught in his own trap. Featuring segments "Debriefing," "We're Gonna Get You" and "Taxing Driver."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness an unbelievably cooperative criminal, surveillance cam footage of a casino full of dumb criminals and some dumb criminals who have serious car trouble. Featuring segments "Search Me," "Joker s Wild" and "Car Trouble."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a man who was driving under the influence of Elvis, a high speed chase in a camouflaged car and a petty thief who meets the caped crusader. "Search Me," "Joker s Wild" and "Car Trouble."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals", we'll witness a dumb criminal with real bad luck, surveillance cam footage of a man pilfering pork chops and a dumb criminal who was just faking it. Featuring segments "Bad Luck Brown," "Pilfering Pork Chops" and "Faking It."

In the first episode of Season 2 of "America's Dumbest Criminals", we'll meet offenders who are "Sticking to the Job," enjoying "Naked Brunch," someone who becomes a "Locked-In Loser" and a total "Potty Mouth."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll meet delinquents who think they're "Out of the Frying Pan," "Towing Nowhere Fast," one who is a "Starving Stooge," a total "Incompetent" and someone who is "Always on the Job."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals", we'll meets offenders with nicknames like "Keyless Klutz," "Bad Liver Lady," "Cheap Trick" and "Stash Flash," we'll meet a "Wiener Dog" and hear some "Courthouse Rock."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," culprits will "Dial-A-Narc," remind us you "You Only Live Vice," discover "Scales on the Roof," explore the "Second Time Around" learn "Baste Not, Want Not" and go "Out on a Limb."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals,"offenders use "Asinine Alibis," try on "Santa Clogs," reveal that they're a "Swinging Single" and remind you "Diamonds are a Kid's Best Friend."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," culprits try to get away with a "Stuffed Turkey," meet "Swamp Things," someone will try "Taunting Car Robber" and we'll discover the misery of the "Safe Quakers."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness delinquents "Courting Trouble," ones who "Batter Up, decide to start "Dumbin' in the Rough" and another who becomes a "Restaurant Roof Clown."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness the "Bottled Up Robber," "Fumigation Burglar" and experience a "Rocky Mountain High."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," idiots will get "Shell Shocked," attempt the "Swipe and Wipe," experience "Heist Anxiety" and we'll witness the "Rice Man Cometh."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," deliquents will attempt a "Crate Escape," show off their "Bad News Boobs," try on their "Gotta Be the Shoes" and make a "Pit Stop."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminal,s" offenders will be "Caught Off Guard," experience "Squirrel Nut Speeder," realize they're "Not Out of the Woods" and request "One Moment Please."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll see idiots get "Easy Offed," notice someone "Flew the Coop," meet "Helena Handbag" and get the "Door Jammed."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll understand "The Boulder, the Stupider," "Moon Over First Fed," see how "Brothers Cool Off" and experience the "Road Flasher."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" someone gets "Helping Hands," a criminal gets a "Walked Dog, Curbed Brain," we witness "Chasing Lamey," and another struggles with "Shorts of Breath."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll see someone get "Lights, Camera, Busted," witness "A Gutsy Gal Applying Herself," see a criminal get "All Dressed Up" and ask "You Want Butter on Your Fingers?"

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll laugh at "Roller Bullies, a "Motorhome Madman," the "Breaking of a Habit" and an instance of "Monkey Not See, Monkey Do."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a driver hands over more than his license, a pair of newlyweds get a gift they won't forget, a couple of rookie robber make a bad first impression and officers discover catching two dumb criminals is better than one.

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a soggy suspect leaves a sopping trail for the cops, a shifty shopper checks out with more than his receipt, a casual crook makes a fashion faux pas and a man shoots mental blanks.

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a boatload of bozos toss more than their cookies in a high speed chase, a spaced-out suspect picks the wrong day to film home movies, a masked moron hitches the wrong ride home and a mugger makes sly moves on the wrong couple.

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a chilly willy strikes a pose, a peculiar pinhead poaches a puppy, a sticky fingered felon gets his day in court and a chatty Cathy expresses her innermost thoughts.

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a couple of kids have a counter fit, a man enjoys his room with a view, cops play a little follow-the-loser and a woman shares her arts and crafts secrets.

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals, " a drunk does some local landscaping, a crook takes an unusual pit stop, a burglar dresses for success and a suspect has the last word down at the station.

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a man adds more than sugar to his coffee, a yuletide burglar gets caught with his pants down, a loser picks the wrong place to light up and a stoner makes an indecent proposal to a cop.

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a Halloween hoodlum picks the wrong clerk to hold up, an arguing couple lets a cop settle their differences, a bank robber gets robbed during his getaway and a crook gets caught with the goods after a car accident.

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a crook packs his bags and makes a run for it, a kid does a moronic Macarena on a friend's car, a salivating senior expresses his feelings for a local store, and a guy in his birthday suit gets pulled over for speeding.

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a careless criminal stuffs the wrong crustacean down his pants, a parachuter runs into a little technical difficulty, a confused crook runs right into the arms of the law and an escaped con forgets his glasses.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals”, we’ll witness joy riding teenagers desperately in need of drivers Ed, some best dressed burglars, and a scenario worse than just getting your hand stuck in a toilet.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a criminal getting away more evil than Knievel, an insider theft of diamonds big enough to choke on and a relentless battle of man vs. machine.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a small town getting terrorized by a big pig, a hard hitting reminder of why should always wear a helmet and a flare-up at a funeral home.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a home exterminator ridding a house of valuables, a camera catching a burglar literally breaking and then entering and a criminal who got the shaft before court.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness two rookie robbers starting a life of crime, a lady who holds a full mink coat in her stretch pants and a liquor store robber whose plan is 100 proof stupid.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a criminal you might mistake for an action star, a man caught in the women’s restroom and a guy looking to meet girls by breaking into cars.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness some serious squirrel coaxing, an ATM that became an ATV when bank robbers went on the road and a man who hopes no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a huge divide of loot when you bring everyone you know on a caper, a group of officers that make criminals sing for their supper and a clever way to break into a store.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a peeping Tom protective over his territory, a drunk driver who leaves a lasting impression that leaves him high and dry and a man wired on more than nicotine.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a man who broke into a van and got more than he bargained for, a robber who could use a pale and shovel for his disguise and a guy who literally reeks of guilt.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a parrot that might really be a stool pigeon, some teenagers out in the middle of the night and the world’s slowest car chase.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness what happens when a guy has a half-baked idea to steal a bread truck, a major mistake with a major appliance that stops a crook cold and much more.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness someone trying to make their mark, a photo-happy proud pot-grower and someone who skimps on the expense of a full-time getaway driver.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a crook sliding on thin ice before a major slip-up, a wakeup call for criminals to select a new career and much more.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a guy choosing a strange way to make up with his girlfriend, the underestimated crime-fighting force of meter-maids and much more.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a few criminals who try to play “Santa” and dive down a chimney, a cab driver who gets the best of a passenger and a man who should have just called a ride.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a pup with some pot whose owners get collared, law enforcement’s cool new invention and a thief with a flood of problems.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a developing case of picture perfect stupidity, a clumsy duct-dwelling criminal with nowhere to vent his anger and a dope two time zones from his destination.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a criminal who missed his exit by a long shot, a criminal-tagging pizza boomerang and some misguided fellows who turn themselves in after a wrong turn.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a getaway plan based on running in a circle, a silly crook whose magic trick earns him the name Houdumbi and a blockhead in a cell who regrets passing a note.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a toilet-bound wrench-wielding sector of society, a man in his birthday suit caught by an undercover officer and the saucy saga of a man saved by a grocery item.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a mailman hungry for birthday cards, a man intoxicated by his molotov cocktail and a canine officer with a story that’d be a mistake to ignore.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a couple getting more than their belongings back, a cop that helps a criminal with his pants and a fella who can’t recall his unforgettable night.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a criminal with a handful of dynamite and a short fuse, a crook getting familiar with license plates before jail and a sure-fire accident waiting to happen.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a video proving the escalator won’t be the only thing going down, a camera showing more than bears in the woods and a diaper-fitted criminal who earns a spanking.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a robber counting cash while a waitress counts sheep, some guys who would rather not wait for a sale and much more.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a man wearing a useless disguise, a criminal who forgot to bring a gun to a shootout and a not-so-sharp thief who put an antique knife in his pocket.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness the reason for all those missing office supplies, a man who thinks he’s the target of a twenty-one-gun salute and a joker whose trash is a breadcrumb trail.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a fella whose sense of judgment goes up in smoke, a guy on the run who called 911 to check if he has any warrants and an officer with a trick up his sleeve.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a cabbie whose meter is running but not his mind, the reason teachers taught you not to play with fire extinguishers and what happens when bandits order to-go.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a crook that enters a car dealership unannounced, the backbreaking burden of stealing $3k in coins and what happens when you mess with 50k volts of electricity.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a search by police that gets hotter and hotter while elsewhere a criminal gets colder and colder and quite by accident a DUI wakes to a real nightmare.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness misbehaving crack-buyers, a bunch of guys that want electronics for nothing and some dummies with a dummy-- but who’s dumber?

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness what it takes to steal a car from a police lock-up, a washed-up run-away cyclist who hit the spin-cycle and a bail bondsman who dresses up to catch his man.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a man doing something crazy in an even crazier place, the nutty-butty behind the wheel of an ice cream truck and a buzzed stoner who’s credibility goes up in smoke.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness the mark of a fender bender or a new kind of hit-and-run, a half-ton of trouble when a tailgate goes on the road and a strange pick-up on a surveillance video.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness the difference between a leap of faith and taking a dive, a disastrous character witness and some funny business happening right underneath someone’s nose.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a man who brings dynamite instead of flowers, a suspect conducting his own strip-search and what today’s drunk drivers are doing to keep physically fit.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness whether it’s possible to do the right thing by making the wrong turn, a life-like store mannequin and a sign of trouble for a sneaky criminal.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness some on-the-run teenagers who don’t know when to quit, a wacked out clown who belongs in the circus and a shifty defendant who dismisses himself from court.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness an inmate in a hurry, someone dressed like they should be in a hurry and what you need to catch sticky-fingered donut thieves.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness thieves that got a car but discover the car has got them, a man under pressure about some blood and a fulfilled wish about the bank being open when it was wanted.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness the consumption of alcohol making a person more sophisticated, how far a canine officer will go to catch a criminal running wild and your tax dollars at work.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a convenience store counter spontaneously become a fireworks stand, the true pride of ownership from a crackpot with a crack pipe and some real idiots in a car.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a suspect having his privacy invaded, the theft of a patrol car and a man making his way out of the frying pan into the fire – or at least into a swamp.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a bright mind throwing money like confetti, a robber new to the world of handgun safety and a thief who escaped without a trace -- except for an irrefutable video.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a woman who definitely doesn’t like her chain yanked, some suspects who find themselves tailed by dogs and a stuffed Dalmatian doll sure to inspire some courage.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a cleaning lady who picks up too much, how the running of a stop sign can rob you of a social life and the gal with whom you don’t want to share a ride.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness an inmate who isn’t getting out on good behavior, someone not cooking like Julia Child and pot-smoking workmen who helped set up the camera that caught them.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness some sailors out for a good time who quickly begin to sink, a surprise for a car thief and much more.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness how dog’s “evidence” helped take down a bike thief, how waiving the right to remain silent can also be waiving your farewell and a man very lost in his getaway.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a criminal who regrets he tackled a safe, a macho man with some explaining to do and discover why it’s a good idea to check your bags.