1x08 God, I'm Tired

Watching Villanelle deal with a petulant screaming child (much like she usually is with Konstantine), yelling at the top of their lungs about killing each other... another hilarious golden moment that could only come from this show. Thank you again writers for giving us so much. I love it!

As Konstatine goes to Carolyne (and Eve) for help in rescuing his daughter, I'm struck by when asked is his kid is annoying... he says she is, very much and also so amazing, and it's this moment when I can't tell if he is referring to his daughter or to Villanelle, cause it's the same emotional reaction when he was telling her how proud he was. I do think he has come to see Oksana as his daughter... and seeing Villanelle with his daughter, their interactions and bickering, feels like they are siblings... annoying the shit out of the other and wanting to be their parent's favorite.

Villanelle uses the kid to get into Anna's apartment, to get the passport and money Eve found, but is discovered by Anna. What is most striking to me is the look of longing in Oksana's eyes when she gets a glimpse of Anna.. and worse when she comes face to face with her. I don't know what is more painful, how beatup Oksana is or how much it hurts to see Anna worry over her, trying to keep an emotional distance from the only person who ever showed her compassion and love, who was the first person who wanted to connect with her, leaving a lasting affect on her. Ask Anna calls her darling, with tears in her eyes, she concedes... to love, compassion and to be taken care of.... something that breaks you heart... cause how much more can our assassin take. She is use to muder, not emotions. And quitely she concedes, yes it does sting a little.

Shit, there is so much lesbian drama. Anna pulls out a gun on Oksana, threatening to kill her. After a back and forth, Anna kills herself, unable to kill Oksana. Yeah, wasn't expecting that! And neither was Oksana, as she stands over the body with tears in her eyes, but she is an assassin, so she puts aside any emotion, she has a mission to complete. But putting her emotions aside has only left a well of hurt, pain and anger, and that well is filling up quickly.

Eve finally gets the truth out of Konstantine. Yes, he knows Villanelle and he works for the 12. But he's only telling her this cause he needs help getting his daughter. I wasn't expecting this dynamic, but i like it. It's two very different people who love the same person for different reasons.

Finally Eve and Oksana meet, with guns in hand, each trying to get what they want. This is the climax. It's interesting to see the two people Villanelle "loves" confronting her, and all she asks is that they don't break her heart... while she has them at gunpoint... she needs to do her job (kill Konstantine) but it breaks her heart to do so, even as her gun goes off... All Eve can do is try to save Oksana, get her out of the grip of the 12, to take her away... maybe even protect her like Anna did, what does this mean? I don't think Eve even knows what she feels for Oksana... obsession, love, curiosity..., no matter, she just needs to catch her, to reach her, to get her... she pleades, and with tears in her eyes, wanting to give into Eve, Oksana pulls away and runs off, leaving Eve to handle an injured Konstantine.... god, this moment is filled with so much for both women, wanting to give in, but each needing to accomplish different goals.... keeping them an ocean apart.

As Eve is on her way back to England, she gets a lead that sends her straight to Oksana's apartment in Paris. Finally Eve catches Villanelle, sees who she is behind the mask... And in the process removes her own mask. She goes through all of Villanelle's things, drinks her champagne, and trashes the place in an outburst of rage... which just comes off was finally letting her hair down and inflicting as much damage on Villanelle's things as Villanelle has done to her life. But it's short lived by Oksana coming home. Surprise! And finally the moment that this whole season has come to... for Eve and Villanelle to face each other without any mask, without disctractions... Eve confesses her obssession with Villanelle... and it comes off as more than curiosity into heartfelt attachment.... and all Oksana can do is says she thinks about Eve too... and it completely catches Eve off guard... with their weapons down, this is the real climax.... oksana doesn't know wether to kill eve or kiss her...and Eve doesn't know what to do, she accomplished her goal.. she found Villanelle, she knows who she is... And quickly it turns into a moment where you see Eve and Oksana as people, who are connecting to each other in a way that they haven't with others... and as Oksana goes to kiss Eve (cause she is just her type), Eve surprises us all and herself by stabbing Oksana.... breaking her heart in the process... she trusted her and she is betrayed, hurt (both physically and emotionally).... but as Eve tries to undo her betrayal, Villanelle escapes her grasp.... she is gone..... end credits.

What an intense finally. The whole season was nonstop. It is the most well written show I've seen, where no moment, no beat, no silence is ever wasted... all building to give us a story that informs ever second. There are no filler moments, everything counts. The whole time it feels like I'm watching a very well crafted book, with each character introduced is crafted as an individual. This show is a character piece pretending to be a investigative thriller. Eve is obssessed with a serial killer, trying to figure out how she works, the pshycology behind her, but once she reaches her goal, all she sees is a "normal" person who wants to enjoy life, connect with people and have a career she is good at.... nothing at all with what she thought she'd find....and finds herself connecting on a person-to-person level. This season has been the undoing of Eve and her life and her expectations.... I do hope season 2 is the undoing of Villanelle and the reconnecting of Oksana.

Fav line: "Is it hard to be bad?- Kid; Not if you Practice. - Villanelle"
Fav line 2: "Ive decided you are a good person, because you're sad and sad people are usually good because sad people feel more."
Fav Line 3: "I have lost a husband, two jobs and a best friend because of you" - Eve; "Yeah, but you got some really nice clothes" - Villanelle