Preliminary review, my final review for Season 1 is in another comment (I didn't want to just edit over this, especially with the likes on it). Very light spoilers for the first few episodes ahead.
I wanted to throw my hat in the ring and give a genuine review of the series as far as I've watched so far (I'll review it properly when I'm done with the season).
So, let's start with the Baphomet in the room (haha), and note that there is some very overt feminism in this series. As I hear, it tapers off as the series goes on, and I look forward to that, because while it is absolutely not pervasive to every corner of the series, it's a cringey part of the early episodes. I wholly support progressive movements, I am happy to see a non-binary character on the show, and Sabrina's attempts to defend said character. I wholly support Sabrina being a sassy, empowered female character who 'sticks it to the man'.
That said, constantly pointing to a plot element and going: 'This is women standing up to the patriarchy!' is unnecessary. As I said before, it's cringey. Let the work speak for itself.
That said, the series, while not a masterpiece, is interesting so far. I appreciate its willingness to broach Satanism (with all its LaVeyan trappings) and all the horror, gore, and sexuality that comes with it. When it just moves forward with the plot, and doesn't spend its time pointing out its progressiveness, it's a solid supernatural drama.
I do find Roz to be tedious. I think Harvey and Sabrina's relationship is unearned (they are way too lovey for 16 year olds with so many secrets between them, and Sabrina, so far, has been rather self-centered, while Harvey plays the devoted and doting boyfriend; feels very much like the criticisms feminists often have about the roles women play in their relationships with men in other stories). I hope that this gets approached with some maturity, instead of devolving into a mess of drama, but sadly, I feel it could easily go either way.
Ambrose is a great addition to the cast, fulfilling the morally ambiguous role that Salem played in the original (but also being properly morally ambiguous, in keeping with the dramatic tone, rather than comically so).
I'll make a proper review when I've finished with the season, but I just felt like this comment section could use a genuine review rather than the 'feminism is ruining everything!' reviews that it has mostly seen so far.
Light Spoilers on top, with heavier spoilers to follow. This review was written specifically for the first season (and if any other seasons are made, it's a crapshoot as to whether or not I'll ever watch them, given the disappointment of the first).
Horror and thrillers are often about tension and suspense, and The Haunting of Hill House is no different. The first six episodes (honestly, more like, episode 3-6) are great build up for a payoff that never comes. The Bent-Neck Lady is a great moment of ramping up the tension, but it's not powerful enough to carry the plot on its own.
The next three episodes (7-9) mostly meander about, trying to make us care about the family, and constantly posturing that the House is a place of true terror. A terror that, upon reaching the finale... simply never comes. Like Olivia, the series falls on its face, hard.
Heavier, but tagged, spoilers ahead.
The series advertises itself as a tense horror, but doesn't seem to want to be come the finale. Lots of plot threads never really pay off (like the utterly pointless floating man), and the ones that do absolutely should have been built up better (Abigail being real felt pretty cheap, and could have been hinted at much better).
If the series wanted to mind fuck the audience, but not go the full horror route, they should have maintained Steven's skepticism. Keep Hugh out of the obvious haunting stuff, make one of the kids (probably Shirley) not see what the others see. Make the Dudleys elusive, maybe superstitious, but not clearly wrapped up in the hauntings. Maintain the question of whether Olivia (and by extension, Theo) was 'sensitive' and the House itself is haunted; or if Olivia had been schizophrenic and passed it on to her kids.
Alternatively, given the time hopping nature of the Bent-Neck Lady reveal, having the House bending reality around the Crains would have been an interesting mind fuck as well. What if, as the adult Crains beat on the door of the Red Room to attempt to get to Luke, we flash back to the children, jumping at the sound of the pounding door in the past? The banging that Theo and Shirley heard as children, actually the sound of their future selves stumbling against the walls in terror. The past and future are tangled together in the Hill House.
Or maybe, Hill House deals with Postpartum Depression, or a similar phenomena The House echoes Poppy Hill's madness, as she, in life, 'woke' her child into death to 'protect' it in a fit of insanity before killing herself. Now her ghost infects the relationships between mother and child. We see bits of it in Mrs. Dudley, and then, eventually, Poppy attempts to infect Olivia and the twins.
Any of these could have been precursors to a shorter version of the sappy, happy ending we got, and still payed off all the tension built up from before. Hell, even a very typical fright fest of ghosts tormenting in the Crains in the final episode would have been predictable, and ultimately too easy, but still more satisfying.
What we got instead, was a great build up to a flat ending, ultimately deflating what came before. I am the kind of person who usually says that an ending doesn't ruin the journey. A bad ending can be overwritten in your mind with something better, or ignored, as long as the journey is still great, but with a story built on suspense, the payoff becomes the backbone of the entire thing. What could have been a solid 8 or maybe a 9, with a good ending, is relegated to a 6, held up only by the fact that there were great moments of potential before it led to something flat.
Greater than the sum of its parts.
I don't think I've ever rated a show higher than I rated each individual season, but this show take all its disparate, less-than-perfect pieces and makes one of the best artistic expressions of human experience I've ever seen. Touching on philosophy from all angles,[I'm going to spoiler tag this section, because it talks about the philosophical ideas of the ending, but won't contain overt plot spoilers.] and settling on lessons everyone should learn about compassion towards your fellow man (even the Brents of the world, even if you know they cant be allowed to treat people the way they do, they are still people and still capable of good), on the knowledge that oblivion and mortality give meaning to life, and shows both in story and in practice, that it's better to know when it's time for something to end.
Honestly, I truly hope that this series has an effect on people. It touches on so many topics with grace, and while it does so with a bit too much of that tongue-in-cheek political correctness, its biggest lessons are right on the money.
The final season constantly busts out tearjerkers, and I am so glad the creators realized that good things must end. So many shows, even my favourite ones, have had mediocre endings and didn't know where to go with themselves, but culminating everything in one big hour long special epilogue was a perfect ending.
I hope this series is the Doug Forcett of our universe.
[Note: This review is being written prior to the release of Season 4, for anyone who comes across it in the future. I don't know how the series will go from here, but this is my thoughts as of the end of Season 3.]
Until recently, Buffy had always topped my list of favourite shows. It was clever, fun, and maintained its plot well from episode to episode. I'm glad, though, that TV and movies seem to be growing as time goes on, able to talk about dark themes and being even more serial in nature.
So, when I came across The Magicians (and also American Gods, which I really hope pays off its potential), it quickly found its way into being my favourite show (well, maybe next to Kamen Rider but that's extremely niche). Not afraid to broach some truly dark subject matter (child molestation, rape, intense violence), while still maintaining the whimsy and charm that is common with the genre (a la Buffy). I was, and am, thoroughly impressed by the series.
As the series has gone on, the characters have become more likeable (particularly given that most of them start out as self-centered douchebags, but with enough character that it can be seen that there's really more to them than that). Even minor characters like Fen and Josh have thoughtful character arcs.
(Spoilers ahead, but kept mostly vague, for a more detailed exploration of why I love the series.)
The series can be a bit juvenile at time (plenty of sexualized jokes, such as the need to... imbibe a God's "bestowal", aka semen, to gain power), but I find it's handled reaasonably, though not necessarily tastefully. Still, I've never been one to mind a joke made in bad taste. On the flip side, it wholly delves into truly dark subject matter, not shying away from depicting a graphic rape (with literally all everything it can manage to do without nudity or actual depictions of sex), or making the audience sit through a truly uncomfortable build up to a boy being molested.
And the audience should be uncomfortable, these are uncomfortable topics, and the audience should be forced to feel even a fraction of the pain that the people in these sorts of situations have to feel, so that we can begin to empathize with how horrible they are.
Also, a later storyline sees a character rewarded and praised for accepting bestiality, due to the consideration that the animals involved are capable of speech, and thus intelligence and consent. I love this because the show doesn't just write off something complicated as 'taboo' and call it gross, it genuinely considers why something should be considered wrong, and doesn't demonize something just for being 'distasteful' by social standards. I wholly agree that while I'd never go "horse riding" myself, it's not really my place to decide it's wrong if the horse can give consent.
(Spoilers ended.)
The show has its flaws and cracks, but ultimately, nothing is flawless, but I say perfection is subjective; and this is as close to perfect, for me, as I've ever seen a show get.
This is a post-Season 1 review. It contains light spoilers (and any major spoilers will be spoiler tagged).
This series is a campy teen drama, as should have been expected from the creator of Riverdale. It's exactly the sort of thing you can expect from that, but with an extra dose of horror, sexuality, and blood. This is not your sitcom-y '90s Sabrina (though I loved that series so), but it also doesn't pretend to be. The themes here are entirely different. However, if you're down for a kitschy, overwrought teen drama, then let's get into it.
Let's start with the big, obvious issue at hand. This series plays hard on f-word: 'Feminism'. I'll make no bones about it, feminism makes me cringe. I love girl power, I came to this series hoping for a good dose of strong female lead, but I do not consider that a 'feminist' standpoint. I consider that a human standpoint, and I make a clear distinction on that. This series has a lot of good examples of why. The snappy, immature eyerolls of 'What did you expect? Satan is a man' simply do not do the series any favours (and holy crap, that little ending bit where the warlocks get all Third Reich-y around the High Priest's son is really on the nose). There are a lot of great progressive themes here that become childish jabs when the series points and gapes at its own progressiveness while reminding you that the antagonists are 'the patriarchy'.
I would have loved to see strong women standing up and getting things done, and I'm happy to see men take a backseat, Dark Lord knows that women have played second fiddle to men enough times. I have absolutely no problem with that. I love that the series has a non-binary character. I am happy to see at least a bit more representation for minorities in the series in general. This all would have been great if the series didn't feel the need to point it all out at least once an episode.
Now, that said, the whiny, sore posteriors of the people crying 'WAHHH, progressive messaging!' is absolutely no better. It's easily worse, especially since the series, while definitely overdoing it, still has other things going on.
As for other cons of the series, Harvey and Sabrina's relationship feels a little unearned. They lay the 'Lovey Dovey' on thick really early, without giving the audience any time to find it believable or grow to appreciate it. While I like that there's not this awful sexual tension, 'will they, won't they' laziness, it would have been nice to spend a little time with them to establish their relationship before it got heavy. That said, from my previous review, it does seem that series was willing to acknowledge (at least to a degree) Sabrina being a bit selfish, and explored those themes, hopefully it will do so more in the coming seasons.
Roz is still kind of tedious, though definitely moreso at the beginning than the end. Susie's storyline is interesting, but jerky and awkwardly written. The whole series shows its place as a teen drama, with a decent bit of janky storytelling to go with it. Still, if you're up for a teen drama, this should be par for the course. It's a little disappointing they didn't try harder, but it shouldn't be that big an issue for the type of show it is.
On the plus side, the series is happily willing to lean into its darker themes. It isn't afraid to throw in all the horror, gore, and sexuality that should come with a group of Satanic occultists (especially ones with a clearly LaVeyan bent). I also appreciate that it doesn't shy away from referring to Satan repeatedly, out of some fear for offending some poor Christian sensibilities. Like most of the series, the way it handles the 'Church of Night' is pretty overwrought, but at least it doesn't dance around things.
Ambrose is an interestingly ambiguous character, acting as the 'new Salem' (though Salem still exists), straddling between darker tendencies and still being Sabrina's companion (and even starts the series on House Arrest for some crime).
Ultimately, what it comes down to, is this is a teen drama with a dark supernatural bent, and with all the flaws that entails. If you're up for that, it's likely to be a lot of what you might expect. It's not great, but it's good for what it is.
The second book is decent, a reflection (pun semi-intended), on the nature of reality and what defines a person. But the first book shows a child being forced to go through a painful journey to grow, so she can leave her new friends and run back to the people who showed her neglect, happy to return like victims of abuse and neglect often are... And Tulip forgives her parents because they ultimately decide to fulfill the obligation they carelessly neglected to begin with.
Tulip's anger is deserved. It should be validated. Tulip has every right to be angry, yet she's the only one who has to go on a journey of change to become complacent in the life she had with parents who are mostly shown in her memories to put her in the middle of their petty squabbles and neglect her. All because of what? Parents 'inherently loving' their child. A lie so many children are forced to swallow and live with for most of their formative years...
Ultimately, I like the premise, but this is one more washed out portrayal of a child of divorce that pushes the idea that the child is expected to learn to accept their own reality, rather than to seek a way to find a new and better life.
This move sure was... fine.
A tense drama about being trapped in an isolated space: Been done plenty. A movie about the complex questions regarding ethics and AI: Been done to death. A movie about robots and sexuality: Been done plenty. A movie that tries to make you question the motivations of the characters: Been done plenty. A movie about a feminine character using sexuality to manipulate an unknowing male character (and by extension, the audience): Been done plenty.
Does mixing these elements make anything new, unpredictable, or particularly interesting? No, apparently not, but it sure does seem to trick people into thinking it does.
Light spoilers ahead.
This is the kind of show where the fanbase sticks its nose in the air and pretends you have no class because you can't understand that it's 'art'. Betty says "Only boring people are bored", and it's like the barb from the fanbase, maybe even the creators, at the people who can't sit through this slow burn of miserable assholes.
The show is boring because I don't care about 90% of the cast. I don't want to watch the subtleties because Don Draper is a such a complete asshole, that I just want to see him suffer, and yet he continues to succeed. There's a point midway through the series where there almost seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel, and for a fun little season, Don Draper actually tries to be a better person. The show takes a bit of a turn, and there's fun to be had, before descending back into the bleak parade of miserable people doing miserable things again.
I wanted to quit a few seasons in, but stuck it out to see Kiernan Shipka's rebellious evolution, and appreciate the growth of Peggy (who is always a bit miserable as well, but started out being someone to at least root for), before she settles in to being just another asshole in the bunch.
Honestly, it speaks a lot to the show that maybe the most charming character in it is a man who still forces you to sit through an all too long scene of him with shoe polish on his face putting on a minstrel show.
In the end, this show is like Bert Cooper's painting, substituting subtlety for substance.
[EDIT to add: I wrote this review while I was near the end of Season 7, and the ending was truly lame. It was about as subtle as a 6-year-old playing spy, and being the most obvious kid on the playground while 'hiding'. Another in the tradition of bad TV endings like Lost that feel like the writers were trying too hard to be clever or deep.]
As of the end of season 2, I hope more of this series comes out. Somewhere between Goosebumps or Are You Afraid of the Dark? and Black Mirror, this show is solidly creative. Not necessarily 'creepy', but a lot of episodes have an interested premise executed in a fairly clever way. More than that, the acting is fairly solid, especially in comparison to the often stilted, awkward acting in Goosebumps for instance.
A few episodes, like Shed No Fear and Cat Food had characters I liked enough that I wished I could follow them longer than a 20 minute episode. And some, like Tilly Bone had premises that I could see making for a reasonably good movie.
Overall, this series was very surprisingly good, and I look forward to seeing more of it.
Thanks, I hate it.
It was a good movie, if you're okay with the fact that you will want to tear your skin off the entire time you watch it.
Also, if your middle school life resembled this movie (and I say this as someone who was not one of the cool kids), I feel so very sorry for you, because even an hour and a half of that made me die a little inside.
And yet, I recommend the movie! There are some nice messages in there, and it's makes for a good example of so many things you should never do.
(Vague spoilers ahead, don't read this if you want to go in blind, but it won't ruin any specific plot points.)
I wonder, if in your pretentious style, you would write something this contrived, Beck. It's entertaining, for what it is,but at the same time, it isn't believable. I mean, the main character sounds like a ransom note made of equal parts red pill and white knight, and a sprinkling of serial killer manifesto. He gets a little more smoothed out, Beck, but the writing... It's the worst parts of how the world views mental illness, romanticization, mixed with the reminder that 'unwell' people are secretly dangerous.
It's sad, Joe would be an almost charming character... In fact, he is. He's a layperson's idea of what a serial killer is, Beck. The idea that the kind of sociopath that becomes a serial killer is a charmer, so much so that he'd go out of the way to save an abused kid... But what this really is, is the story of a charming, bookish guy who would make for a great protagonist, except then they stapled on the fact that he's an obsessive stalker, Beck.
There are two Paul Browns (that's a joke that requires watching pretty far in to get it, Beck), and that unsubtle cut to The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, I saw that Beck. How droll, haha. But that's the thing, that's what this is, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, because Joe is our protagonist so he needs to have lovable bits somewhere, he needs to be romanticized, so we'll have him save a kid and make sure everyone he kills is just an awful enough person to never make you hate him; except that he's secretly 'Hyding' something. No one went into this asking 'what makes a stalker', they wrote a charming protagonist, and then asked 'how can we make this dramatic?'
I'll admit, it's not the worst, Beck. It's kind of fun to watch, in a bad Soap Opera kind of way. But in the end, it leaves a sour taste, the reminder that so much media cares nothing about doing its due diligence with mental health. They just want to make it sexy...
The build up of the movie is a bit of a mess, and a little cringey, relying a little too much on jump scares. However, there's definitely some strong material underneath here, with some good disturbing imagery and a well put together climax. In fact, the climax is what saves this movie, since the rest drags on a bit, and tries a little too hard to build a twist. In the end, it feels like this movie had too much time to fill, and enough interesting material to fill an episode of some horror anthology series, but not enough for a movie. In a more condensed form, the story would have been a bit cliche, but still thoroughly interesting, especially with the great use of effects in the climax (which were mostly minimal, but combined with Stephanie's great performance, really pulled things together).
It's a fairly mediocre movie, but it gets a +1 from me for killing TJ Miller, which kinda makes up for me having to listen to TJ Miller's voice the whole time.
Carrie is one of my least favourite movies because everything you need to know about it, can be summed by what pretty much everyone knows about it. Puberty metaphor, period blood, girl gets super powers, abusive mother, fake prom date, pig blood, massacre. That sentence and all the well known scenes attached to it could be cut together as a 10 minute YouTube video and tell as compelling a story as the whole movie.
This show isn't anything amazing so far, but it is essentially a retelling of Carrie done much better. Subtler metaphors (not a lot subtler, but subtler still), better build up, more interesting characters, and a little added LGBT representation (particularly the 'L' kind, which is definitely underrepresented) takes a lot of the beats from Carrie and turns it from a 1/10 movie, to a 6-7/10. Nothing too impressive, but still quite a lot better and with the potential for a Season 2 to expand upon those story beats in a more compelling way.
Why are people so obsessed with 'relatable'? Being relatable doesn't suddenly make manifest a good story or character. The movie is ultimately just a series of things that happened to a girl with a somewhat pretentious personality, wrapped in an ending that seems to say: 'Don't forget to love your mom, even if she's abusively critical, because she's trying...'
Dear movies and everyone, stop justifying the shitty behaviour in the name of family. Stop telling kids that loving their family is important when so many families are terrible...
I truly believed that the internet was just being the internet when it said how terrible this season was. I thought it was just anger at the fact that the writers couldn't manage to write something remotely on par with what GRRM created for them to adapt.
But no, this season was actually complete and utter trash. So much so, that I won't even bother going through and discussing why like I might with another show. Weiss and Benioff literally just threw the entire show into the trash so they could move on with their careers. I hope their careers go in the trash in turn.
Eeeeeehhh.
This movie was easily much longer than it needed to be; and its message is either so buried in pointless 'artistic layers' that it isn't conveyed (and what's the point of a message if it never really reaches the audience), or so superficial that it's ironic that the movie tries to criticize the superficial nature of relationships. Ultimately, I think it is both at the same time.
The inclusion of Jessica Barden (the Nosebleed Woman) actually makes me think of parallels between this movie and The End of the F***ing World. Both clearly have layered meanings and a sense of artistic complexity, as well as building on what seem to initially be flat, unlikeable characters. However, TEotFW does this with grace, peeling back more and more layers of the characters, and drawing the audience in to a narrative that is interesting on its own, while this movie never really makes its characters any more likeable even as it adds a small amount of depth to them.
Instead, The Lobster just constantly feels like it's trying to be 'quirky'. Another piece of art that mostly seems to earn its greatest praise from the people too afraid to seem like they 'don't get it'. Which might be the greatest irony of all, given the movie's own commentary on seeking acceptance through falsehood.
[Note: This review was written after Season 1, and maybe updated in the future, but currently only accounts for Season 1 plotlines.]
Given how badly this was shit on, I honestly didn't expect to finish the first season. However, given how badly this was shit on, I feel a need to write that, while it is extremely over-the-top and has a really rough patch (that demon possession arc is stupid as hell...), it's actually much better than I would have expected.
Here's a tip for anyone starting the series: THIS SERIES IS STUPIDLY, OVERLY MELODRAMATIC. Take it for all the hilariously bad, soap opera style crap and just go for the ride. There are some genuinely poignant moments hidden under the surface. I won't deny they handled almost all of them badly if they were trying to send a message, but if you ignore the lack of actual growth that fuels the satire and need for more drama, there are some really heavy scenes with some really good messages. (Watching Patty relapse and eat a whole cake on her own was a really well shot, intensely uncomfortable scene that taken on its own, is striking and painful to watch, just as it should be. It's just unfortunately not carried well by the storyline around it.)
(Minor Spoiler Alert) Sadly, Bob's original characterization as a flamboyant man who is not gay, doesn't hold out, and for a few episodes, Bob's storyline seems to just give into stereotypes. (Major Spoiler Alert) This does however, give way to a plotline that deals with bisexuality and bi erasure, and a rare (and sadly too brief, so far) look at polyamory through a rather impressively non-negative lens. This is maybe the most positive poly relationship I've seen in popular media (which is honestly pretty sad, but still), and I hope there is a chance it could still be handled as a positive depiction in the future..
The season then ends with even more melodrama (and what I've seen as an unhealthy depiction of Bob's suicidal reaction to romantic situation mentioned in the spoiler, but I think it's pretty realistic in context and definitely worth touching on). However, I think Patty's over-the-top reaction to being referred to as being bad, is actually a very powerful moment in the series (and actually handled pretty well compared to most of the series, given everything Patty has been through up until that point, and the fact that she has struggled with her 'monster' through the whole series).
I think there's a very important message that will sadly be missed by most people that people with the monstrous qualities deep down should not be written off as villains, and treating them as such only encourages it. A good reading of Patty's character arc shows that she needs empathy and rehabilitation, and the unstable people around her regularly throw her into conflict, instead of nurturing her conflicted (but genuine) desire to figure out what it takes to be a better person. It's sad that people think of Patty as an irredeemable villain in the series, because ultimately, she's a teenager who has been tormented her whole life, and is left without love, support, or good role models (at least to the degree that she clearly needs it, given her obvious mental issues, which are exascerbated by trauma).
Anyway, I think the series is definitely janky in its method of delivering its message, but underneath the surface, it is willing to deal with topics most shows won't touch, but just doesn't know exactly how to do it.
Unlike the first Cloverfield movie which I only give a 7 on a lark for killing off T.J. Miller, this movie leaned just shy of earning an 8, for what was actually a pretty cool ending moment. Ultimately, it was a decent movie, but not one I'd likely find myself watching again. For someone more into tense thrillers, I imagine this would be a solid 8 or 9 movie, but I mostly came to this movie for Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Goodman, both of whom gave solid performances, and the former of which really makes this movie.
I'll admit, I appreciate the improvement to Jasmine's character. Naomi Scott did a great job, and the latter half of the movie made it far less of a disappointment than the trainwreck of a first half made it seem.
But man... that first half was awful. Aladdin lacks the charm of his animated counterpart, Will Smith is, of course, no Robin Williams and doesn't do the part justice, and Jafar was an abysmal (haha, there's a pun there for the long time Aladdin fans) facsimile of the truly masterful villain of the original. And the songs... Again, I'll give props to Speechless, except for the need to go all pop-y (and I say that as someone who likes pop music) with it, having Jasmine growl her way through the reprise.
But other than that, ugh... Will Smith's singing is phoned in, nothing like the charming, playful Robin Williams songs, and Mena Massoud pales in comparison to an amazing singer like Brad Kane. Other than Speechless, the songs were grating, with changes of lyrics in completely unnecessary places that often fell out of sync with the tune, and the 'nervous friend you have to drag to Karaoke who talk-sings his way through the night' level of singing...
I'm thankful I stayed to see such a good take on Jasmine's character, which dragged this movie kicking and poorly-singing up from what would rightfully have been a 4 at best, as I clenched my way through that cringey, teeth-gratingly shoddy first half.
Honestly, with a genuinely charming Aladdin, a more sinister Jafar, and an all-around better Genie: if they had made a shot-for-shot remake of the original, but with the much improved Jasmine storyline of this movie worked in, this could have been a genuinely worthwhile and impressive remake. Instead, it's a trashy cash grab that happened to find it's own diamond in the rough.
P.S. Oh my god, I can't believe it ended with another stupid Will Smith rap... That shit was fun once with MIB... And now I'm just real tired of Will Smith's crap...
What were once somewhat charming characters become caricatures of what they once were. Where Doug was 'dumb' before, now he's that kind of stupid you only find in sitcoms; Pat goes from Doug's vulgar buddy, to just vulgar; and the story introduces Anders (anger incarnate) and Eva's sister (who is basically what Eva played herself up to be in the first movie, taken to the extreme).
Most notably, the relationship with Doug and Eva is forced to 'grow up', and Doug, in turn, becomes insensitive and ignorant to the needs of the girl he was once so sweet to. Ultimately, it wrings all the charm out of the first movie (which wasn't exactly a shining beacon, but at least it was a nice little watch, and nice to see Sean William Scott not being typecasted as the Stifler-esque douchebag role), all for a sequel that never needed to be made in the first place.
I'm not someone who hates franchises, I like spending time with familiar characters we've grown to love, but at the same time, some movies are just meant to stand on their own and tell a simple story with a simple message. Goon was such a movie, something that never needed a sequel, and never deserved to have this piece of crap taint its memory.
If you enjoyed Goon and you're reading this review before watching the sequel... Just watch the first one again, and save yourself the pain of this awful continuation.
The only saving grace of this movie is Liev Schreiber, which is not something I would normally expect, since I'm not a particular fan of his (not that I find him objectionable either, I just didn't expect him to be the highlight here).
(Honestly, I only spoiler tagged this out of courtesy, it's so transparent it's laughable.)
Sees Billy Russo for the first time: Oh, that guy is the bad guy, right?
A few episodes in: That guy is so obviously the bad guy, he can't be the bad guy.
End of Episode 6: ~Sigh~