I definitely understood it all, that’s for sure
Those creepy crawleys were so creepy. And that gooey guy at the end was so gooey. This movie rocks.
-Guy tries cocaine before buying it in a drug deal-
-spits-
""This shit has been cut more than my front lawn!!""ù
Excellent line.
Holy shit this movie has an 18 minute prologue before the opening credits roll. You're not Damien Chazelle! You don't get to do that!
The opening titles are like if an AI was asked to make a metal band do a James Bond opening credits sequence.
How could that guy tell there was exactly 200 grand in that suitcase just by glancing at it? That was some rain man level estimating.
-Heroes wearing Santa hats taste cocaine and nod at each other-
""It looks like it's going to be a white Christmas after all...""ù
-everyone does the John McClane die hard laugh-
-people start shooting-
Once again, another excellent line.
I'd give the action more credit if the guys who did all the fighting for the best picture winning ""EEAAO""ù weren't literally YouTubers.
""Hmm... I know we just showed how shit her life is.... But how can we REALLY drive it home?""ù
""What if when something bad happens to her at the beginning of the movie and she looks up and shouts UGH MY LIFE IS SHIT! So that the audience really gets that her life is shit?""ù
""Great idea, we're so good at writing movies""ù
Then they high five'd maybe.
What in the world, why is Patty LuPone in this?? Will she be more than this one scene? Did she owe Paul Feig a favor?
Man she does one RELLY fucked up thing towards the end of this movie that the forgive her for real quick..
She got over the shock of that pretty quickly....
""Leave your worries for a while. They'll still be there when you get back. Only memories are invited""ù
Phillip Seymour Hoffman was a titan.
"Look at the guy! He probably gets more ass than a toilet seat"ù
"The people we hate at the wedding"ù as a title it rolls right off the tongue...
80 adorable minutes of old people explaining their lunch orders from the 50s and 60s.
Highlights include the moment where Mel Brooks speculates about what they -may- have served for breakfast (since he only went for lunch and dinner), the scene where the director has to adjust Colin Powell's tie to cover up his shirt button, and when Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is asked what made it so special and she shrugs and says ""It was a good place to eat..... the food was good.... The prices were right""ù.
Then it suddenly shifts to ""also fuck unions and the reason it failed was because of yucky homeless people""ù
Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
Batman: hmmm, looks like my ship took a lil' hit. Welp.... Guess I better KILL MYSELF.
Demons have no taste, turning down a tasty looking spread like that.
Holy shit Holy shit Holy shit
I can't believe this opens with a Jane Austen quote...
I love this terrible movie.
I rule the roost!!!!!!!!!
I couldn't decide between 1 star or 5 stars. This felt like a compromise.
I hate it when they cast famous musicians in music movies as characters that they would never act like in real life. I'm supposed to believe that Adam Levine is a douchey musician who gets caught cheating on his partner? Im not buying it....
I heard these movies are bad, but this was staggering. The acting is bad, the directing is bad, the script is bad, and every single interaction between any two characters is bad bad bad.
I need to live my truth and say I enjoyed this movie. Is it good?.... No not particularly. Is it fun to watch Keanu sword fight a dragon? Resounding yes.
I really hate it when people make a meal out of hating a movie. It's usually condescending and they act like they're the smartest person in the world for not liking one particular movie, and it always makes me roll my eyes.
Having said that. Absolutely fuck this movie.
It's terribly written, directed, and edited. It jumps from one horribly ""edgy""ù dark scenario to the next. From the murder of a drunk child, to needless sexual assault where the women are abandoned, to yet another dead child, to several instances of incest cousin fucking that you're supposed to think is nice?
The overarching ""doomsday""ù plot is intentionally vague and never explained, but that doesn't work when every single character is completely uninteresting, undeveloped, and forgettable.
Also. The small gesture that makes a character fall in love with their cousin is the weirdest, least romantic shit I've ever seen. The only acceptable response to that kind of behavior is ""what the fuck are you doing? Stop that""ù. I LEGITIMATELY thought there was going to be a vampire subplot for a second. But there wasn't. They just thought it was romantic.
This movie is vile. And it wasn't worth the battery it drained from my girlfriend's phone. I reserve bad movies like this for watching on flights like I just did with this one. But still, holy shit.
I'm a sucker for any media where an old timey character is named "cookie"ù.
I'm not like other girls, I put French fries in my burger! üòú
Also holy shit I paused this movie to look up facts about Celine Dion's marriage. They met when he became her manager and he was 38 and she was TWELVE!!!! What?!?! Really undercut the message here...
Idk, seems like he did an awful lot of improvising.....
If you like clue this is a cute lil' documentary.
First they tell you why Tim Curry was so funny in the movie.
Then they tell you why Christopher Lloyd was so funny in the movie.
Then they tell you why Madeline Kahn was so funny in the movie.
Then they tell you why Michael Mckean was so funny in the movie...
Then they tel..
Is this a good movie? No not really. Are there well written characters? Not in my opinion. Did I leave understanding Napoleon or Josephine? Not particularly.
Was this movie fucking awesome? YES!
Will I watch the 4 hour Apple+ cut? 100% yes.
Its a shame this isn't a better movie, because Nic Cage as Dracula is a revelation.
Just go watch Perfect Blue instead.
There's some interesting stuff to this, like at the first sort of big ""reveal""ù of the form. But overall it's pretty gross, and a weird mixture of not at all subtle but also inscrutable and weird.
Look at those snappers! _
Made me sad to be Italian for a bit.
Maniscalco lies to his partner in a dark and unforgivable way. Then when she forgives him he does it AGAIN with an even worse thing and gets away with it.
-I'm so glad that an actor like Deniro decided to take a step outside of his comfort zone and explore what it's like to be an Italian immigrant in America-
^thats a new character I'm working on called ""guy who's never heard of Robert Deniro before""ù
Some of my favorite quotes:
And get this, she's an Ahtist...
These people got class up the ASSS
On a little boat called... the mayflower. You got it! This one (arrow points to painting of mayflower)
When In rome!... yknow because you guys are Italian!
No way this nerd could pull two baddies like Elizabeth Banks and Sara Snook.
Quotes of the movie are:
""Never-mind the applesauce, how do I get my two bucks?""ù
And ""you got your soup, didn't ya??""ù
Russell Crowe used to be THE chiseled leading man. And now he's just the cutest lil' cutie.
This feels like if Marvel made an exorcism movie.
2022-12-31T13:00:00Z2023-12-31T12:59:59Z