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Private Notes
Time to start the new year out right! With more buttercreaming!
The Cinema Snob reviews The Believer's Heaven.
The Cinema Snob continues into the world of Neil Breen, who this time casts himself as the messiah!
The Little Cars return in a movie that has neither a Rodopolis nor does it have adventures.
Friendsuary begins now with the Matt LeBlanc monkey baseball movie!
The Cinema Snob reviews Kissing a Fool for Friendsuary.
Now it's Matthew Perry's turn in a love triangle comedy, as Friendsuary continues with Three to Tango!
The Cinema Snob concludes Friendsuary by reviewing Marci X.
The Cinema Snob reviews Death Wish 3.
The Cinema Snob reviews Tugrats.
The Cinema Snob reviews Los Extraterrestres, the E.T. knockoff from Argentina!
The Cinema Snob reviews Let There Be Light.
The Cinema Snob reviews Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure.
The Cinema Snob reviews Jason X.
Wait, Sex and the City 3? It had been said this sequel was canceled, and even if it wasn't, who would still be expected to give a shit after all these years? The Cinema Snob, of course. And, fittingly enough, this is not a sequel, but a porno spoof. Could a porno spoof be better than the official movies? What the Snob discovers will shock you.
The Cinema Snob reviews the 1988 film A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master.
The Cinema Snob reviews A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child.
The Cinema Snob reviews Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare.
The Cinema Snob reviews Wes Craven's New Nightmare.
With a whole galaxy of Star Wars porn parodies, where did it all start? The Cinema Snob travels back a long time ago to a perverted galaxy that is thankfully far, far away to look at Star Babe, the original Star Wars porno that came out (pun intended) the same year as the first movie.
The Cinema Snob reviews the Carman video Great God.
Have you ever wanted to watch a foreign CGI travesty in which a mish-mosh of classic characters of literature have to be rescued by a mish-mosh of children superhero movies? Of course you haven't, which is why the Cinema Snob is happy to watch it for you.
In honor or Father's Day, the Cinema Snob goes back to visit the big daddy of patriarchal slasher flicks. New identity, new family, same M.O.
The Cinema Snob reviews Carnosaur.
The Cinema Snob reviews the 1959 film The Wasp Woman.
The Cinema Snob reviews Freddy vs. Jason (2003).
The Snob reviews a movie that chronicles the tragic, yet inspirational tale of Craig Golightly.
The Snob continues his look at the adventurous tale of that stalwart star of adult films, Craig Golightly.
The Cinema Snob reviews a shoddy "documentary" that features a conservative's biased and outdated views on the Democratic Party.
The Cinema Snob reviews Fateful Findings.
The Cinema Snob reviews Persecuted.
What happens when a mob family under Witness Protection has to relocate to a Mormon neighborhood? Wacky and improbable hijinks, so sayeth the Snob.
The Cinema Snob reviews Rock Around the Clock. Musical March (in September has begun), and this month we're looking at solid gold rock n' roll films of the 50s and 60s!
Musical March in September continues as The Cinema Snob reviews the Arch Hall Jr. classic, Wild Guitar!
The Cinema Snob reviews the 1959 rock film Go Johnny Go, for Musical March (in September)!
Musical March in September concludes with this story of how Rock n Roll is saved by Mannix and Winnie the Pooh!
The Halloween season begins as the Snob reviews Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007). Haven't you always wanted to see the classic characters from the original be white trash Maury Povich rejects?
The Cinema Snob is going wacko after reviewing Rob Zombie's Halloween, and knows he'll inevitably have to do the worse sequel later on, so he feels it's a good time to stop and review something goofy. Wacko is a horror movie spoof that came out before horror movie spoofs were done to death. So, what is Wacko, besides the fact it was made? Nobody knows.
Rob Zombie's Halloween-like it or hate it-did well enough to spawn a sequel, and if you thought Halloween 6, and Resurrection, were the worst films of the series, brother, you ain't seen nothing yet. This makes Halloween (2007) look like Halloween (1978). The Cinema Snob steps up to review the incestuous, depraved, tasteless, guileless, witless, vapid, arid, white trash Halloween II.
A week before Halloween, the Cinema Snob reviews The Day After Halloween, which has nothing to do with Halloween (1978), or the season of Halloween. What's it about? What ISN'T it about - besides Halloween.
This is the story of the Snob who dreaded his fan voting for him to review The Town That Dreaded Sundown, a movie he's long since referenced, but never reviewed. Was it worth the wait?
The Cinema Snob reviews another puppet porno, because - he hasn't filled his quota of strange pornos for the month. So, if you wanna see puppets screw, then - get help.
Ohhh, who stars in a porno under the sea? Spongeknob Squarenuts. Who makes a porn spoof that no one should see? Spongeknob Squarenuts. What is the Snob reviewing today? Spongeknob Squarenuts. It's a Spongebob porno, make it go away. Spongeknob Squarenuts.
No better way to ring in the Christmas season than the Cinema Snob reviewing yet another warped piece of cinematic tripe that people actually thought children in the 1960s would enjoy, right up there with Fun in Balloon Land, Magic Christmas Tree and Santa's Elf Calvin. Yule have nightmares.
The Cinema Snob hangs up a sprig of dead mistletoe in the form of A Christmas Kiss II: Second Base.
The Cinema Snob revisits an old friend from years past: Kirk Cameron. Before he saved Christmas in 2014, he played a morally bankrupt man who kidnapped children to play with his mentally handicapped sister. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night, my ass.
From the people who brought you A Halloween Puppy comes another bout of false advertising. The Cinema Snob reviews a movie that's hardly about Christmas and barely has a puppy in it. He discovers a very dishonest, yet shrewd marketing gimmick where if you put "Christmas Puppy" as the title of your movie, it's a guaranteed sale.
On this festive Christmas Eve, the Cinema Snob reaches into his magic sack - of gifts, you perverts, and presents us with another Christmas slasher movie. What do you get when you take a group of naive girls, stick them at a lonely female finishing school over a weekend and have them be stalked by a maniac in a costume? A porn, or a cheap horror movie? Luckily for the Snob, it's pretty much both.
