Review by Clobby Clobsters

The Witcher: Season 1

1x05 Bottled Appetites

7

Review by Clobby Clobsters
BlockedParentSpoilers2021-11-22T09:31:41Z

  • Yo, that green screen sticks out. If it's not, then it looks weird anyway

Doppler: "This one? Do we have to?"

Doppler: "Everything you've ever done, ever debated, ever dreamed, is in our head now."

  • Oh, a bipolar shapeshifter. Cool
  • Aw, Mousesack ;-;
  • She solved erectile dysfunction

Woman: "You can stay. Or you can continue on your search."

  • I'm sensing a theme here

Bard: " 'Cause Nilfgaard can kiss my... Geralt! Hello."

  • Lol

Geralt: "Yes. It'll grant me wishes. It's in this lake somewhere. And I can't fucking sleep!"

Bard: "How's my singing?"
Geralt: "It's like ordering a pie and finding it has no filling."

  • Oof

Bard: "Bit of an anticlimax."
[Breeze stirring.]
Bard: "Or is it? Djinn, I have freed thee, and as of this day, I am thy lord. Firstly, may Valdo Marx, the troubadour of Cidaris, be struck down with apoplexy and die."

  • Bruh
  • Jaskier :O

Man: "I don't make the rules, but money opens all doors."
[Geralt knocks out the man with a bag of coins.]
Geralt: "So it does."

Geralt: [Opening door.] "The fuck?"

  • Now there's a weird room...
  • This is worse than the male mage's room; at least they were acting like people

Geralt: "A good old fashioned nap."

Male elf: "Any of this ring a bell?"

  • Yennefer controlling my boi smh

Jaskier: "But I just remembered I left my... cat on the... stove."

Man: "What's the difference between a witcher and a tub of dung?"
**Geralt: "Ah, I know that one."

  • Lol

Geralt: "She wants to become more powerful. But she'll die."
Jaskier: "Well, let's pray for her on our way out of town."
[Geralt walks off.]
Jaskier: "Oh..."

Yennefer: "I want everything!"

  • Lol
  • What did Geralt wish for? :O

Yennefer: "It was, like a drowning fish."
[They kiss.]

  • LMAO

Male elf: "They're alive."
Jaskier: "Bollocks."
Jasker: "Oh, they're alive. They're really alive. Whoo."

Yennefer: "What did you wish for? Tell me. Geralt?" [Turns to find Geralt sleeping.]

  • Lol

Ciri: "You're my family too now, remember?"

  • I must stress how I hate Ciri's limited screen time
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