Review by c+aue

Eternals 2021

my 3rd comment in this fringe section of the internet about this dreadful story.

2 big problems with this movie:

first, i didn't like the first 10 minutes and, when that happens with a movie that have bad reviews, it's certain that it will be terrible. beware. if you don't like the beginning, you better stop there...

but the movie have enough action, mystery, and magic that it still lures in most people... so it becomes exponentially harder to stop if you're watching this late at night in bed with your romantic partner who can almost never quit a movie in the middle.

second, the final parts... i will reply to this comment with sp0ilers, if you want to read. but, trust yourself: if you didn't like the beginning, the ending is even worse, it is actually of the worst kind possible!

need a better still similar hero movie suggestion? watchmen obviously. kickass is slightly different, but much better than both. i also disliked "the boys" and it's a series, but it's still much better than this. heck, even the incredibles, with all their well-pointed-by-wisecrack missogeny will certainly entertain you better. which calls for the good animated ones, megamind and despicable me. have you watched them all already? try the whole evangelion. you need to endure until the glorious ending, though. need something fresh? sorry. best one i can recall would be doctors strange, the first one. marvel disney only went downhill from there. dc was never really a match, except for batman obviously... and a few others. if you just want to chill on a movie with good story, try perhaps "la belle verte". i got plenty of chaotic suggestions on my imdb lists and around the web. just search for cregox movies or films. :kissing_heart:

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1 reply

@cregox the ending doesn't exist. it's a freaking "hang in there for part 2" forgot the name!

if you're reading this you either agree the movie isn't with watching or you don't care for shoulders at all, so...

3 of the 10 eternals died because freaking superman is freaking stupid (as usual with all supermen) and basically killed 2 of them, regretted in the end, and at least killed himself in pain (which shows he really really regretted it and supposedly redeemed his soul).

1 eternal will die because she is also freaking stupid and think mortality by age is a good feature... although i will agree it is, i only do so in practice. because in theory, as all stories are, it is not and i still hope i will prove it in reality. live long enough and you will see if i was right.

the indian eternal nobody cares about just go take care of the stupid child and disappears.

keeping count?

and, arbitrarily as hell, the one demigod in the movie who created all eternals randomly picked 3 of them to judge them against their acts of betrayal... and forgets the other 2! not to mention forgetting the other 5 who should still be of interest to the demigod who utilizes their memories for improving pers technology. things that are sure to not be explained in the next movie, mind you.

at this point i might have missed an eternal or 2 in my counting while i try to remember this whole crap i rather will soon completely forget.

too long? didn't read?

the engine will let you down in every possible way and might even entice you to watch the next crap although you hated this one.

the only good aspect for me here is that this was and will be the last crappy movie i watch whole.

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