Review by Digital Phreaker

The Wolverine 2013

"I saw you die."

"When? Just now?"

"A while ago. But it's not like I get a complete picture, more like looking through a keyhole. But I'm always right. All I can see is one part of a person's life: their death. And I saw yours."

"What did you see?"

"I see you on your back, there's blood everywhere. You're holding your own heart in your hand."

I know this wasn't an intentional allusion to the 2017 Logan's ending in 2013, but goddamn if that line doesn't really sound prophetic after rewatching Logan a bunch of times.

"You wanted the truth, I told you the truth!"

"I didn't like it."

"Wow. How'd you know there was a pool down there?"

"I didn't."

--

"What kind of monster are you?"

"The Wolverine."

Fuckin' mic drop right there.

Well, it wouldn't be a movie discussing monsters set in Japan without a mecha-version of said monster.

Man, the building codes in Japan must be fucking strict to handle Travis Pastrana and the entire 2000 X-Games Moto X Freestyle team riding on those roofs without damage.

"My waifu snow-chips all the boys in the road, and Logan's like 'Damn, that's fucked up even for me!'"

Oh, good, Natasha Henstridge has shed her Species skin.

"Logan-san. Reports of my death have been intentionally exaggerated."

"I got conned by a cancerous old man who offered me death in exchange for my healing powers, and I didn't even see it coming!"

"You asked me to come say goodbye. Sayonara!"

Man, at least this Logan got to have a few of his comic-appropriate mic drops.

Welp, onward toward the emotionally devastating Logan to finish my FoX-Men franchise rewatch.

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