EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE IS A HORROR THRILLER FROM ANNE GOURSAUD THE DIRECTOR OF ANOTHER 9 AND A HALF WEEKS AND POISON IVY II AND STARRING MARTIN KEMP FROM UK GROUP SPANDAU BALLET, THE KRAYS, WAXWORK II: LOST IN TIME, SUGAR TOWN, LOVE LIES BLEEDING AND BACK IN BUSINESS, REBECCA FERRATTI FROM THREE AMIGOS!, BEVERLY HILLS COP II, GOR II, ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE, CYBORG 3: THE RECYCLER, OP CENTER, TO THE LIMIT AND INDECENT BEHAVIOUR II, ALYSSA MILANO FROM TV SERIES, WHO’S THE BOSS?, COMMANDO, SPEED ZONE AKA CANNONBALL RUN 3, WHERE THE DAY TAKES YOU, CONFLICT OF INTEREST, DOUBLE DRAGON, POISON IVY II, FEAR, PUBLIC ENEMIES, BELOW UTOPIA, HUGO POOL, BUYING THE COW, KISS THE BRIDE, DICKIE ROBERTS: FORMER CHILD STAR & DINOTOPIA AND JENNIFER TILLY FROM MOVING VIOLATIONS, INSIDE OUT, HE’S MY GIRL, HIGH SPIRITS, FAR FROM HOME, THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS, THE DOORS, MADE IN AMERICA, THE GETAWAY, DOUBLE CROSS, BULLETS OVER BROADWAY, BIRD OF PREY, GUN FOR HIRE, AMERICAN STRAYS, EDIE & PEN, HOUSE ARREST, BOUND, LIAR LIAR, THE WRONG GUY, MUSIC FROM ANOTHER ROOM, RELAX…IT’S JUST SEX, HOODS, BRIDE OF CHUCKY, THE MUSE, DO NOT DISTURB, STUART LITTLE, PLAY IT TO THE BONE, HIDE AND SEEK, THE CREW, DANCING AT THE BLUE IGUANA, DIRT,
THE CAT’S MEOW, MONSTERS, INC., THE HAUNTED MANSION, PERFECT OPPOSITES, HOME ON THE RANGE AND SEED OF CHUCKY AND I RENTED ON VIDEO.
Review by BronsonBlockedParent2023-01-08T07:53:36Z— updated 2024-02-18T14:33:43Z
Have you ever wondered what a softcore porn would be like, minus the porn? No... well, I imagine no one else has either, but here it is.
Embrace of the Vampire has all the production value of a '90s HBO skin flick, just without the simulated sex. However, what we do get is lots of Alyssa Milano boobs, and man are they nice. Let's face it, the only reason anyone has ever watched this train wreck is because of Milano. The movie is bad on every level: from the generic score, to the bland camera work, to the unrealistic dialog.
The actors did well, and considering what they had to work with, they all should have won Oscars. Alyssa is a strong lead, and deserved a better movie. Ladd, Lewis, and True were good, and I'm sure they did their best, given the one-dimensional characters they had to play. Hell, even Tilly did a great job with only a few minutes of screen time.
Where the movie suffers most is in the weak story. We're never given enough time to flesh out our characters and their motivation; we're given just enough to get the ball rolling. However, for a movie about a vampire, our bloodsucker feels like an afterthought. I get the sense the first draft was simply about a virginal college girl breaking bad just before her eighteenth birthday, then there was a rewrite in an attempt to add some depth.
If you're looking for a vampire movie, this is not it. If you're looking for a steamy erotic film, it's not that either.
Most likely, anyone who still remembers Alyssa Milano, from her prime, has already seen this.