Plane 2023

Tedious and plain (I’ll see myself out), even by B-movie standards. It’s one of the most by the numbers, predictable films I’ve seen in a long time. It feels like one of those ‘90s movies that’s ripping off Die Hard, which back in the day was done quite successfully on a few occasions (Speed, Air Force One). However, this is so clearly phoned in, nobody gave a shit. I don’t know what’s going on with the cinematography of this film, because the colour and lighting makes it look like it was shot on an iPhone. A recent model for sure, but an iPhone nonetheless. Say what you will about the …. Has Fallen trilogy, I’d argue they’re generally pretty disposable, but at least they looked fine visually. There’s also surprisingly little action here, and most of that stuff is poorly edited and tame, it certainly didn’t need the R-rating. The acting’s passable, it’s a waste of Mike Colter’s talent (as well as Gerard Butler’s, but he’s been typecast in these movies for a while now) and the dialogue didn’t do the actors any favours. Where are the fun, cheesy one-liners? Where is the clever, subversive touch? Why does this get a theatrical release in the year 2023? It’s the kind of content that gets looped endlessly on shitty cable tv channels, the kind of film that’s recommended to my dad when he opens his Netflix account, not something people actually seek out anymore. Throwing 25 million dollars at this seems insane to me.

3/10

I've watched so many different kinds of movies that last few weeks, from Oscar-bait to functionally children's and over-the-hill Adam Sandler, so why talk about this and none of those?

My first thought about this movie was that I appreciated how it kept things moving. Everything you've seen is certainly some trope or scene from literally dozens of movies, but it doesn't linger as though it's trying to disingenuously emulate more than be its own story. The bad guys are bad enough without feeling caricatured. The heroes get away with an "appropriate" amount of murder with their plot armor. It just glides along and you're not meant to feel that deeply about any character in particular.

Sometimes you want to get angry at "simple" movies like this. They seem somehow bored and joyously exploitative of the genre simultaneously. You're not really asking yourself to forgive the liberties taken. It feels like a genuine fan of the genre with the experience to do it well enough did so. It asks nothing of you, nothing new, nor to be apologized for. You're not thrown by particularly awkward dialogue or wincing at kitschy learning-how-to-act-acting.

Am I ever going to watch it again? Of course not. Did I watch it at 2x speed? Yes, also of course. Does it leave me feeling empty, angry, or wanting "more?" No. And in a media landscape littered with endless content, maybe it's incredibly sad, but that registers as a win. On a scale of ridiculous that goes from 1 to Fast and Furious this is a 3 or 4 anchored by a stable well-paced plot and believable characters. It's the same director as Assault on Precinct 13 which I watched when it came out in 2005. I recall it being equally "in its lane" and perfectly forgettable too.

Here’s my “Quick and Dirty Review” of “Plane.”

It’s that time of the year when I’m racing to see all of the major Academy Award nominations. It might seem dumb to some people, but I’m a huge fan of cinema (yes, “Avatar” is still cinema) and like to know what is being nominated and WHY. To keep your finger on the pulse of Hollywood is to keep up with trends, recognize patterns, and shake your head at the latest “IP” to come along that somehow requires five sequels even though no one really enjoyed the original. Do we need another “Fantastic Beasts” movie, or another “Scream?” I don’t know. Someone seems to think so, although with that last “Beasts” movie I think Warner might have a tough row to hoe to get people to pay $12 to see the next one.

ANYWAY (sorry, I’m rambling) I’m catching up on movies, but I decided to do the old Soderburgh plan: “one for them, and one for me.” I watched “Triangle of Sadness” because I had to—it’s been inexplicably nominated for Best Picture — so now I get to watch something fun and entertaining: “Plane.”

“Plane” feels like a throw-back movie from the 1990s, when they just made good movies and no one spent the entire film preaching to you about whatever they feel like you are lacking. Right now, I’m watching “Tar” and got bored and came over here to work on this review. When did movie watching stop being about entertainment and become about education? I don’t want to be educated—and if you’re educating me, make it entertaining. The first ten minutes of “Tar” was a sit-down interview between two people in front of an audience. Scintillating, right?

“Plane” isn’t like that. In the first ten minutes, we meet most of the main characters and set up the entire plot of the film, which stars one of my favorite working actors, Gerard Butler, who seems to go out of his way to only make entertaining, violent, and awesome popcorn fare. No “Triangle of Sadness” for him, no sir. “Plane” is great — Butler plays an airline pilot whose plane goes down on a lawless island off the coast of the Philippines. That’s it. That’s the whole plot, but it’s so well done and so perfectly paced that the film is over before you know it.

There are bad guys (interestingly, they didn’t do subtitles or translation, so you really have to tip your hat to the actors who conveyed their entire character through body language and tone of voice) and there are good guys and every single standard trope you’re expecting is turned on its head.

That being said, this isn’t a movie for the ages. Although I still go back and enjoy “Olympus has Fallen,” I’m not sure this one will hold up as well. Maybe if the plot had been just been “slightly” more complicated, it would have made the film better. As for now, it’s predictable but satisfying.

“Plane” is a breath of fresh air compared to Tar and “All Quiet” and “Triangle of Sadness,” all of which are so busy trying to say something that they forget to speak to the audience. You keep your college courses on Mahler and trench warfare. I’ll be over here, watching Gerard Butler kill a guy with a stick and cheer when a takes out a bad guy at the perfect moment. 7 out of 10.