I actually liked the two first G.I. Joe movies, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra and G.I. Joe: Retaliation. This one… not so much.
It could have been a really good movie but it ended up as a huge disappointment. The story should have been a cool revenge story but it ended up being a convoluted mess making Snake Eyes one of the bad guys for most of the movie. It is also hugely predictable after the first 20 minutes of the movie. Did the writers really think that the “twists” would come as a surprise for anyone? They probably did since Hollywod writers usually reside on the low end of the intelligence scale nowadays. Putting three of those hacks together to write a movie doesn’t help of course.
I could have accepted all of that if the rest would have been cool with lots of fights and special effects. Sadly the movie is mediocre, at best, in these areas as well.
Snake Eyes is not only a bad guy but he is rather stupid as well as devoid of any charisma. His acting is quite poor which can be said for most of the actors actually. Apart from the mediocre acting there’s really no one in the movie that you feel like rooting for. No one stands out, everyone just excels in mediocrity. The only person in the entire movie that has any coolness factor worth talking about is Scarlett but she is not in the movie for more than a few scenes.
There are a few scenes with some special effects, cars flipping over, huge snakes etc. but not really that much for this kind of movie. That could have been fine since this movie should be a lot about martial arts. Amazingly enough, not even here does it deliver. Most of the martial arts scenes involve a lot of flipping around with arms and swords but they mostly look like they have been written for a PG rated TV show for teens and pre-teens. They are simply poor. Tommy looks like he needs to take a dump before every fight with that ridiculous pose of his.
This is not a 1-star movie as some rate it. That’s just ridiculous. It has some entertainment value. However, it could have been so much better. Unfortunately I suspect this movie has done the G.I. Joe franchise a disservice for some time to come.
Review by BronsonBlockedParent2023-02-28T06:02:45Z
What is this movie? Well, it's action, more specifically it's a revenge movie. Very '90s.
We start with a young Snake Eyes, then see him training to be a ninja as an adult.
The first half of the movie is boring, but it does pick up toward the end. I think the main issue here is this is a G.I. Joe movie, if we simply rest on the shoulders of one character, this could be any generic martial-arts movie.
Do we get a fight between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow? Yes. Do we get a fight between Scarlett and Baroness? Yes, but it's too short.
Let's face it, Snake Eyes was a black-clad ninja who never talked, anyone could play this part; that being said, Golding did a great job.
Weaving was good as Scarlett.
Corbero was... okay as Baroness... look, I love Baroness, this was going to make or break the movie for me. Corbero was speaking in, what I assume is, her normal accent... okay, fine. She didn't have her signature glasses when she was introduced, not cool. By the end, she's in full-on Baroness gear.
Look, making a stand-alone movie for Snake Eyes was going to be a gamble. General audiences aren't going to care about this. G.I. Joe fans are the key demographic. The movie fails at this until the end. What the movie does get right is the tone. Are there big, CGI snakes in one scene? Yes, but it oddly makes sense.
Overall, not bad. Not amazing. The fight at the end is what kept this from being terrible.